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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315467">Unwanted</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/acochran5/pseuds/acochran5'>acochran5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apologies, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Bullying, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Language- like kind of a lot of swearing, M/M, Middle School, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Multi, Oikawa Tooru is Bad at Feelings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past physical abuse, Physical Abuse, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime, Protective Sugawara Koushi, Sleepovers, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Team as Family, Trapped In A Closet, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, a few sexual jokes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:13:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>105,055</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315467</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/acochran5/pseuds/acochran5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama had been told by his parents that soulmates are bad and to protect himself he should never contact them. When he turns eight, however, he discovers he has two soulmates and he's enthralled by them, even if he can't speak with them. Despite his parents he holds onto this small hope of loving his soulmates. When he meets them though, he discovers they don't even want him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou &amp; Tsukishima Kei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio &amp; Karasuno Volleyball Club, Kageyama Tobio &amp; Sugawara Koushi, Kageyama Tobio &amp; Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2284</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: Abuse</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The writing first appeared when he turned eight years old. He remembered in class, learning about what that meant. When you turned eight, you could start communicating with your soulmate. So even if you didn't live in the same town, or even country, you could still talk to them.</p><p>Sometimes, someone wouldn't have a soulmate, and even if they wrote on their arms, no one would ever write back. It rarely happened, but it was a depressing thought, that he could have no soulmate.</p><p>He did have one, however. Two, actually, and it seemed they already knew each other, had already been communicating for a while. Kageyama took this to mean they were probably older than him.</p><p>When his parents first saw the marks on his arms, an odd expression crossed their faces, unlike one he'd ever seen before. He didn't know why, but his heart started hammering inside his chest at those looks. "Tobio, have you been writing on yourself to connect with your soulmate?"</p><p>"No." Kageyama said, shaking his head. His parents had already discussed this with him. When he turned eight, he wasn't supposed to talk to his soulmates at all. His parents said that sometimes, you were paired with the wrong person as your soulmate, and they wanted to protect him just in case. So he wasn't supposed to reach out, even if they tried to contact him.</p><p>"Then what's all that writing on your arm?" his mother asked, that odd expression still on her face.</p><p>"I think I might have two soulmates." Kageyama said. "They're talking to each other." He didn't want to admit that he had been reading their conversations for an hour or two now, just watching his soulmates interact silently.</p><p>"Go put on a long-sleeved shirt."</p><p>"But papa, it's hot—"</p><p>"Do as I say!"</p><p>Kageyama flinched back in surprise. His parents had never spoken to him that way, never yelled at him like that. They didn't have to. Tobio made mistakes, but he'd never intentionally disobeyed them, so there wasn't a need to yell at him.</p><p>Kageyama nodded, and ran upstairs to do what his father said. He stripped out of his shirt and grabbed a new one. It was a sweater that he could slide over his shirt, and had three buttons that he left undone.</p><p>Hesitant to go downstairs, he sat in his room for several minutes. What if his parents were still angry with him? He was almost afraid to ask why they were mad. He'd never seen that expression on their faces before, not even when he'd broken his mothers favorite vase. He hadn't done anything wrong, to his knowledge. He'd only woken up and come downstairs. Sure there had been the writing of his soulmates on display but he'd not written anything to them, just as his parents had told him. He couldn't stop his other two soulmates from communicating, however, and he didn't understand how his parents could blame him for that.</p><p>Eventually he stood on shaky legs and opened his bedroom door. Glancing longingly at the room he wanted to hide in until his parents came to apologize for yelling, he slowly shut the door behind him.</p><p>When he got downstairs, his parents were already sitting at the table, and their heads snapped toward him when he walked in. "What took you so long?" His father asked.</p><p>"I just had a hard time finding a good sweater."</p><p>He hoped his parents accepted that explanation.</p><p>They seemed to because his mother just tilted her head and gestured for him to sit down. Once he was settled they began to eat.</p><p>"Tobio," his mother was the one that spoke this time.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"You're to wear long sleeves from now on. You aren't to let anyone see the writing, ever. And of course you are to never contact your soulmates either. That rule still stands."</p><p>"Okay, mama." He didn't want to argue this time because of the way his father had reacted.</p><p>They finished the rest of dinner in complete silence. After, Tobio did his homework and went to sleep.</p><p>He didn't understand why his parents had reacted the way they did, but both of them had always been a little overprotective. That was probably it. Just in case his soulmates were the bad ones, they didn't want him to see the kinds of things they discussed.</p><p>He came to realize, however, that it was nearly impossible not to stare at his arms and watch their conversations unfold over the span of days, months, years. He became intoxicated, and soon he couldn't get enough. He knew he was spying on them, and he knew he was disobeying his parents. Both of those things were wrong. But he couldn't help the urge to stare, couldn't help the wanting to speak with them, wanting them to speak with him too.</p><p>But he felt he didn't belong. He felt like he was intruding on something special, on something that didn't and never would belong to him. He was intruding, in a way, spying. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about his soulmates when they had no idea he even existed. He shouldn't be sticking his nose where it didn't belong.</p><p>He always wore long sleeved shirts because of that day in the kitchen. He knew better than to disobey his elders, especially his parents.</p><p>When he was alone, however, he would look at his arms. Sometimes the messages were long, or sometimes they were simple good morning messages. Often the conversations would be about classes, homework, volleyball. They seemed to have a lot in common.</p><p>He decided that if both his soulmates played volleyball, maybe he should try it out too. He knew he was a little young and he knew that it was probably too late in the year to play at his school, if his school even offered volleyball. But he figured that he would at least ask his parents for a ball. He could start practicing, researching it, getting fitter.</p><p>He did ask them one Saturday evening during dinner. "Mama, I was wondering if you could maybe please buy me a volleyball?"</p><p>"Why do you need that?" his father asked.</p><p>"Well, I was thinking that maybe when I start middle school next year, I could get on a team." Kageyama answered meekly.</p><p>"My dear, you need to focus on your studies. Not some silly sport." His mother shook her head.</p><p>"I just want to try it. I promise I won't let it affect my grades." He tried to convince them.</p><p>"Gym is enough for you, you don't need another club like volleyball. Join something that will be more helpful when you graduate and go to college. A literature club perhaps, a foreign language. Anything would be better than some stupid sports club." His father rolled his eyes and took a bite of his meal.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure how to keep arguing with them, he couldn't tell them his real reason for wanting to join as it related to soulmates. "I just thought… um, that maybe it would help me focus on school better. I have a lot of energy after school, maybe if I did some volleyball I could come home and sit down to do my homework?"</p><p>"But wouldn't you be exhausted, darling?"</p><p>"No, I would probably feel more awake. And working out is supposed to make you happy." That was what he'd read on the internet anyway when he was preparing for this conversation.</p><p>His mother turned to his father, "He only wants to try it. He might not even like it." She reasoned.</p><p>His father was silent for a long time, unwittingly making it harder for Tobio to breathe properly. What would his answer be? He knew his father would have the last say when it came to any matter that had to do with his education, which was somewhat unfortunate since his mother was easier to persuade.</p><p>"Alright," he said finally. "However you are to come home straight after, and don't you dare talk about soulmates or share your markings."</p><p>Kageyama nodded. He already knew that. His parents made it very clear on where they stood with soulmates and if either of them caught him staring at his arm he would be in trouble. If either found him they would grab his arm and drag him to the coat closet and lock him in until he learned his lesson.</p><p>When his father found him, his grip was so tight, it left faint finger like bruises on his wrists. And when his mother found him her nails would dig in so deeply he would sometimes bleed. They had explained to him that it was unintentional but that if it happened he deserved it.</p><p>He was never sure how long he was locked in the closet for. The majority of the time behind that door was spent laying on the ground feeling like the walls were going to crush him, convincing himself that there was no oxygen, screaming until his throat was raw, and crying himself to sleep.</p><p>Ever since his first night in that closet he did everything he could to avoid tight spaces, and the dark.</p><hr/><p>His parents allowed him volleyball, one step closer to feeling connected with his soulmates. He was overjoyed, practiced every day even though he couldn't be on a team yet. He'd decided by the time he entered junior high that he was going to be a setter. A setter had the most contact with a ball and a spiker couldn't spike anything without them.</p><p>When he joined the team at Kitagawa Daichi, he met a third year setter, Oikawa Tooru. Kageyama instantly admired him for his skills as a setter, not to mention his height, his sharp jawline. For some reason, Tobio was mesmerized by him. Him and his other friend, Iwaizumi. Another third year, a spiker. He had short, spiky hair and his arms were toned for a middle schooler. He was shorter than Oikawa and had impressive power behind his spikes.</p><p>Kageyama admired them both.</p><p>"Oikawa-san, can you please teach me how to serve?"</p><p>Oikawa turned to look at him with an expression he once again, couldn't read, but one that looked much like his parents when they saw the writings on his arms.</p><p>"No, Tobio-chan, I am completely incapable." Oikawa said, his lip curling up into a cruel expression. "Go bother some other poor soul."</p><p>Kageyama made a whine sound in the back of his throat to which Oikawa rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean to bother you Oikawa-san." Was all he said and stood completely still while Oikawa walked off.</p><p>It hurt. Kageyama felt a pain inside his chest, quickly amplifying each time his efforts were wasted. "Oikawa-san, why won't you teach me?"</p><p>They were alone in the gym, Oikawa finishing cleaning and Tobio standing off to the side, clutching his volleyball tightly towards his chest. He knew he was supposed to go home right away, but this was important and he figured if he ran he could make it home in plenty of time.</p><p>"Why?" Oikawa drawled and wouldn't even turn to look at him.</p><p>Kageyama knew it was a bit rude but he stepped closer and tugged at the hem of Oikawa's jacket, "Yes." He said, bottom lip almost trembling.</p><p>Oikawa glared at him and shoved him off so hard Kageyama stumbled and fell to the ground. "Because you're annoying, Tobio-chan. Do you want to see exactly what I think of you?" Oikawa stripped off his jacket and it fell to the floor in a heap. The older boy showed his arms to Kageyama, arms that were almost completely covered in conversation. Self-consciously, Kageyama tugged down on his own sleeves. "Why don't you read exactly what Iwa-chan and I have to say about you, hm?"</p><p>Kageyama read over the words etched into Oikawa's arms, covered in phrases.</p><p>
  <em>I hate him Iwa-chan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>He's just a kid, Tooru. He can be annoying but seriously let it go.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm not going to let it go, Iwa-chan. He creeps me out too. He's always staring at me, I even see him doing it from the corner of my eyes!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>He probably just admires you, Shittykawa.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, it's something else. I get the feeling he likes me even though we aren't soulmates. It's pretty disgusting.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>He's just a kid…</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You aren't disagreeing.</em>
</p><p>Kageyama couldn't make out the rest of the conversation because his eyes were blurring too much. He did catch a few words however, 'annoying', 'creepy', 'weird', 'unloveable', and a few others. He didn't know if the conversation was still about him or something else, but the words carved themselves into his memory.</p><p>"See, Tobio-chan." Oikawa said, sliding his jacket back on, over his shoulders. "So stop bothering me, and stop bothering Iwa-chan. We'll graduate soon anyway and I won't have to see your stupid face anymore." Oikawa wrinkled his nose. "Now come on, it's getting late. I don't have all night."</p><p>"Okay." Maybe he should've been feeling something, devastation, anger, sadness, but he didn't feel anything. He felt numb all of a sudden he barely even registered Oikawa pulling him up from the ground when normally that would've made him feel incredibly happy.</p><p>"Do you have a ride home, Tobio-chan?"</p><p>For one of the first times in his entire life he lied, nodding. He didn't even know why, he just wanted to be alone. "Yes, my parents will be here soon." No one was coming. "Don't worry about me."</p><p>"I'm not worried." Oikawa scoffed. "But I'll wait until they come."</p><p>"You don't have to. It's dark out, you should get home."</p><p>"And leave my kohai in an abandoned gym while it's dark outside? You should know that's an accident waiting to happen."</p><p>Feeling coming back to him now, the first thing Kageyama felt was annoyance. Actual irritation like something he'd never felt before. "Fine, Oikawa-san, you win! No one is coming, now can you just leave so I can walk home!"</p><p>"Why do I have to leave?"</p><p>"Then I'll go!" Kageyama knew how childish he sounded, but he couldn't stop the whine and frustration in his tone. He felt even worse when Oikawa just smirked at him.</p><p>He gritted his teeth together and stomped out of the gym, the cool night air hitting him in the face. Outside the gym it was so dark, only faint twinkles of light were in the sky and he could hardly see anything in front of him. How late was it?</p><p>Oikawa headed out after him, shutting the lights off.</p><p>That sealed everything in complete darkness, black washing over everything, no longer even a shadow for him to see. "Um, Oikawa-san I don't…" Kageyama had no phone, and he didn't know the way back home well enough yet to do it in darkness, not that he even wanted to move he was so terrified.</p><p>"You don't what?" Oikawa asked mockingly.</p><p>"I don't have a phone… or anything. I don't know how to get home."</p><p>"Sounds like a you problem unless that's your way of asking for my help."</p><p>Help? No, Kageyama didn't need his help. Especially not after everything else that had happened tonight. "No, that won't be necessary, Oikawa-san. I don't need your help."</p><p>"Alright, well then I won't help you."</p><p>"Fine." Kageyama muttered.</p><p>They started walking off school grounds into the pitch black, one step at a time. Tobio jumped at every little noise and when he thought he saw something or even when his and Oikawa's arms brushed.</p><p>"Jumpy, huh?"</p><p>Kageyama couldn't even see him but he could hear the mock tone in his voice.</p><p>"I'm not that jumpy." Kageyama grumbled.</p><p>"Of course not, Tobio-chan." He could tell Oikawa was smirking.</p><p>He heard a sudden noise from a side street like something falling and nearly jumped out of his skin. "Afraid of the dark?" there was still that mocking tone.</p><p>"No!" yes he was. But he couldn't let Oikawa know that.</p><p>As they walked, it somehow got even darker and Tobio was becoming even more afraid. He wanted to ask Oikawa why he was still following him, but didn't want to risk the other leaving because he wasn't sure if he'd be able to put one foot in front of the other without him.</p><p>"Oikawa-san… why are you still following me?"</p><p>"I live down this way too, Tobio-chan. Geez, you really are a dense idiot."</p><p>Kageyama felt his cheeks grow hot because of the insult and he couldn't help but bite his lip.</p><p>"Um, Oikawa-san."</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"I don't know where I'm going."</p><p>Oikawa groaned, "See mother, this is why I need a phone." He heard Oikawa slap his forehead and groan. "I can't see shit."</p><p>"Maybe we can find a flashlight in a store?"</p><p>"Do you have any money?" Oikawa asked.</p><p>"No…"</p><p>"Then that means no flashlight I guess."</p><p>This was all Kageyama's fault, he just wanted to cry and curl up in a bed, never come out. "Do you recognize anything?"</p><p>"No." Kageyama managed to squeak out.</p><p>"Are you sure? Look around, Tobio."</p><p>Kageyama didn't want to look around. He could imagine things hiding in the dark, a pair of glowing eyes peering at him, sharp teeth being bared at him.</p><p>Kageyama did it though, looked around at the streetlamp a bit aways from them that lit up the space in front of him.</p><p>"Tobio?"</p><p>"I'm looking!" Kageyama snapped still gazing around the streets until he saw a bakery he recognized. A small one run by a lady trying to sell bread. He remembered it because she'd asked him if he wanted some. "Wait, I recognize that bakery over there. It's close to my house Oikawa-san!"</p><p>"Then let's go that way." Oikawa said and they practically ran towards the bakery, from there winding in and out of neighborhoods until Tobio came upon his house, all the lights still on, and he knew his parents were inside waiting for him.</p><p>"Thank you for walking me, Oikawa-san!"</p><p>"I already told you I live around here, idiot Tobio-chan."</p><p>"Oh, right! Sorry… um, will you get home okay?"</p><p>"I'll be fine, I'm just a couple blocks down, don't worry about me, Tobio-chan." Finally able to see Oikawa's face when he opened the door, the older boy had a fake grin on his face.</p><p>"Alright then, bye Oikawa-san!"</p><p>Oikawa didn't even wave and started off further down the block. Kageyama shut the door behind him and locked it, taking off his shoes before walking towards the kitchen.</p><p>His mother was cleaning and his father was sitting at the table, they both turned to stare at him when he came in.</p><p>Feeling pressured, he bowed nearly ninety degrees. "I'm sorry I'm late!"</p><p>His mother turned to him with a small smile, "Don't worry about it, dear, I assume you'll be home on time tomorrow?"</p><p>"Yes I will, I promise!"</p><p>"I know, you're a good boy, Tobio. Would you like dinner?"</p><p>"Um… yes please."</p><p>His mother took out some food from the refrigerator and reheated it. "How was your first day of practice?"</p><p>"It was good, mama."</p><p>"Remember, Tobio, don't just go up talking to strange kids, okay? You need to bring them home first and we will tell you if they're good for you."</p><p>Kageyama nodded. He remembered. The only thing was that no one had ever been good enough for them.</p><p>His father said nothing as he ate his meal, he didn't say anything to Kageyama all night long until it was time for him to go to bed.</p><p>"Goodnight, sweetie." His mother said, smiling politely.</p><p>"Goodnight." His father said, the one word he'd spoken all night long.</p><p>"Goodnight, mama, papa." Kageyama said and then went upstairs.</p><p>He brushed his teeth and then went in his room, stripping off his long-sleeved shirt. He hadn't looked at his arms for a couple days and now that he could see them, he saw them completely covered in writing.</p><p>It wasn't that, however, that made him pause. It was the words written on them.</p><p>
  <em>I hate him Iwa-chan.</em>
</p><p>With those words, Kageyama couldn't help the tears that started to run down his cheeks.</p><p>He knew who his soulmates were.</p><p>And they didn't want him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maybe it was because Kageyama was dense, but in the two weeks he'd known Oikawa and Iwaizumi, he'd never put two and two together. He'd never noticed that "Iwa-chan" was Iwaizumi or that "Shittykawa" was Oikawa. He'd never even thought about that possibility.</p><p>But now that he saw the same writing Oikawa had shown him earlier that night on his arms, there was no way to deny it.</p><p>Oikawa had called him disgusting when he thought Tobio might like him. Was that only because he thought Iwaizumi was his only soulmate?</p><p>He knew that was wishful thinking. It wasn't because of anything other than the fact he was Tobio. That was why Oikawa hated that he liked him.</p><p>Practice was always boring in the social department. Nobody ever talked to him, and Tobio had no idea how to start an actual conversation.</p><p>People had tried to ask him to hang out after practice, but Kageyama had to go right home. He knew his parents would never approve of him going out with people they'd never even met</p><p>Eventually everyone stopped asking.</p><p>Most didn't talk to him either, because Oikawa disliked him. As if that meant something. The only person who was remotely nice to him was Iwaizumi, but he couldn't even accept that because he knew how his senpai really felt about him.</p><p>He felt like an annoying burden on everyone. So he trained harder, faster, longer. It was like his parents always told him.</p><p>He didn't want to be the weak link.</p><p>Which in this case he was.</p><p>So he had to try harder.</p><p>"Tobio-chan, don't practice so hard. You're going to get hurt."</p><p>"You of all people, don't get to lecture him about over-practicing, Shittykawa."</p><p>Oikawa pouted, "You're being mean Iwa-chan. That was so rude, I don't over-practice that much."</p><p>Kageyama stared at the two of them, their flawless exchanges. Two soulmates who've known each other since kindergarten. And then there was him. The one who didn't belong. He didn't know why the universe was so cruel, making these two of all people his soulmates.</p><p>He would love them, he honestly wouldn't be this happy had it been anyone else. But he knew they didn't feel the same way. It made his heart clench. "Oikawa-san, Iwaizumi-san…" Tobio started, gripping the volleyball tightly in his fingers. Should he tell them?</p><p>They turned to him expectantly, Iwaizumi questioning, and Oikawa's lip already curling into a sneer. "Can we… uh," think Tobio! "Go somewhere. After practice?" shit, no! That was terrible! His parents had never met them, he had promised he would come home on time today. What was he going to do now? His only hope was that they said no.</p><p>"Why the hell would I want to hang out with some snotty kid like—"</p><p>Iwaizumi sent a sharp jab into Oikawa's side and said, "We would, but we're busy after practice today. Maybe some other time, Kageyama."</p><p>"Oh that's alright, I had something to do today, anyway."</p><p>"Weren't <em>you</em> the one who invited <em>us</em>?"</p><p>"I forgot, Oikawa-san."</p><p>Oikawa laughed, and for once it sounded amused instead of spiteful, "Silly Tobio-chan. Just like you to forget things."</p><p>Kageyama blushed and turned on his heel, hurrying over towards other members of their team to practice more.</p><p>As practice was coming to an end, Oikawa came over towards Kageyama, which surprised him because the older boy often liked to stay as far away from him as possible, claiming he had 'cooties'.</p><p>"Tobio-chan~," that voice was never a good thing, "I've got something for you."</p><p>"Um… what is it?" Kageyama asked cautiously.</p><p>Oikawa, who looked as though he could barely contain his glee, reached into his bag and pulled something out, shoving it in Kageyama's face so he could see. "Look Tobio-chan, it's a nightlight. Since you're such a little baby, scared of the dark."</p><p>So he had been obvious last night. What Oikawa didn't know, was that he actually liked the present. Not Oikawa's teasing, but the gift in and of itself was something Kageyama had actually never received before. "Oikawa-san, you got me a nightlight?" he'd wanted one for a while, for the past four years. But his parents had refused because big boys didn't need nightlights.</p><p>"Yes, I did. Got a little nightlight for the baby. Maybe I should get you a pacifier next."</p><p>Kageyama glared at that part and snatched the present out of Oikawa's hands. "I don't need a pacifier." He spat.</p><p>"Why not? Aren't you a little baby that cries just because it's a little dark."</p><p>Kageyama scowled harder, because he didn't cry, and he wasn't supposed to either. "I don't cry!"</p><p>"Yes you do," Oikawa teased, his lips pulled back into his perpetually evil smirk.</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Can the baby carry all that stuff by himself? Maybe he needs a lighter load."</p><p>Kageyama only heard of this happening in movies, where the big dumb bully would take the main character's books. He didn't know it was an actual thing. But Oikawa did take Kageyama's books, took his entire bag in fact.</p><p>And no one was coming to help him, they were all caught up in their own stuff, either oblivious or uncaring. Not even coach noticed. "You always go straight home after practice you know, how come you never even change out of your dirty clothes before going back?"</p><p>"Because!"</p><p>Kageyama, when it was time for gym, always got a private changing room, and no one found that weird because there were a lot of people in his class. But there were only about fifteen kids on the volleyball team, and none of them had any trouble changing in front of everyone, so he figured it would be even weirder if he went to a private changing room.</p><p>"Because why? Tell me and I'll give your stupid bag back."</p><p>"Because I don't like getting undressed in front of everybody." Because he didn't want anyone to see his soul markings.</p><p>"Hm, I guess I should've known little Tobio-chan was shy. You seem that type."</p><p>"Give me my bag back!"</p><p>"What's the magic word?"</p><p>"Now."</p><p>"That's mean of you Tobio-chan." Oikawa was pouting now and slowly handed Kageyama his bag back</p><p>"You're the one being mean, Oikawa-san!"</p><p>All Oikawa did was sneer and stick out his tongue, walking away before Tobio had the chance to look displeased at Oikawa's expressions.</p><p>Kageyama didn't know what that was about, as Oikawa had made it pretty clear the other night he hated him. He didn't understand why his senpai was talking to him, even if he was just trying to make fun of him.</p><p>Kageyama couldn't answer his own questions so he just pulled on the right shoes, slipped his bag over one shoulder, and took off down the street.</p><p>If he got home and did his homework fast enough, maybe he could get in some extra practice before dinner.</p><p>When he arrived home, his mother was cleaning. He didn't understand why she never took a break. He didn't understand why she did a lot of things like why she barely looked at him anymore. She used to take him in her arms, and used to comfort him, used to care if he wore a coat to school or not, used to go to the store and buy him anything he wanted when he was sick.</p><p>Now all she did was call him pet names, that sounded oddly cold and regarded him with polite smiles and robotic gestures of affection. Somewhere along the way, she'd turned into a complete stranger he didn't even recognize. His own mother. He did know she loved him, and he wanted to please her, wanted her to keep loving him.</p><p>"Tobio, welcome home."</p><p>He gave her a small smile and took off his shoes and set his bag down, moving into the main room. His father was still at work, and he wouldn't get home for another hour or two. "Hi, mama."</p><p>"How was your day?"</p><p>"It was good." His mother was always a little different when his father wasn't home. There wasn't much of a difference, but she seemed more relaxed when he wasn't home.</p><p>Tobio didn't notice a lot of things, but he'd lived with his mother all his life, he could read her easily, his father too. He'd learned to soon after he'd gotten his soulmarks. He knew which topics not to bring up with them, knew how to act, so he could cause as little conflict as possible.</p><p>He didn't like when his father yelled, didn't like the look on his mother's face when he did. It was like she was disappointed in him, and that was almost worse than his father's rage.</p><p>"Um… what are we having for dinner?"</p><p>"It's a surprise."</p><p>He knew that would be her answer, but he wasn't sure what else to discuss with her. "Alright. Well, I have homework so I'll do that now, unless you need help."</p><p>"I'm fine, dear, go focus on your studies."</p><p>He knew that would be her answer too, and nodded, starting up the stairs.</p><p>Sometimes, he wondered if he knew his mother at all, or if he'd made up things about her, things he wished she'd done. He couldn't remember much from back then, but he didn't remember this icy chill he always felt upon entering his home when he was little. Then again, he hadn't known much of anything back then. Maybe he just hadn't noticed until now.</p><p>He tried to focus on his schoolwork, but his mind kept wandering, and he had a hard time focusing. He knew he was supposed to get his homework done soon or he wouldn't get to practice anything.</p><p>His fate was sealed when he heard the front door slam shut. His father was home, which meant it would be dinner time soon.</p><p>Kageyama sighed, leaving his homework incomplete, and stood up to shower before dinner.</p><p>He went to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and stripped out of his clothes. There on his arms was new writing from his soulmates, and thankfully the conversation wasn't about him this time. He couldn't help but read over their words and trace them with his fingers. Words from his soulmates, words they didn't even know he was reading. This was wrong.</p><p>He was startled out of his thoughts from a knock on the door, "Tobio, dear, hurry up."</p><p>"Uh, yes mama!" he quickly pulled back the shower curtain and hopped in, scrubbing at his arms viciously to get rid of the ink.</p><p>After that was gone he quickly washed his hair and then turned the water off.</p><p>He came downstairs a couple minutes later, wearing an oversized sweatshirt and sport shorts. His father was at the table, and his mother was finishing setting the table. "Do you need help mama?"</p><p>"No, you can sit down."</p><p>So Tobio did and waited for her to finish. The silence at the table was deafening as they ate, like a cloud settling over him, but it was heavy, and suffocating. He had no idea what to say. All they ever talked about was schoolwork. His father didn't like the mention of volleyball, and Tobio had nothing else besides those two things.</p><p>"Did you finish your homework?" his mother asked.</p><p>"Almost."</p><p>"What marks have you been getting lately." His father finally spoke, looking up from his meal, gaze burning right into his own.</p><p>Kageyama didn't know what to say. His marks hadn't been the best as of late, but he couldn't tell his father that. He would assume it was because of volleyball, and partly it was. But volleyball had finally given him some sort of passion he hadn't known he was missing his entire life. And he would be devastated if that was taken away from him now. At the same time, he couldn't lie to his father. The man would eventually find out anyway, and then he would be in real trouble.</p><p>"They've been lower." He admitted vaguely. "But not by much." He added quickly, "I'm still adjusting to the new schedule, but in a week I'm sure I'll have them back up to normal."</p><p>His father did not look happy and his mother glanced between them before her gaze fell on Tobio. Her smile was tight, but it was always tight. This time it looked strained, though.</p><p>"Tobio, after how I convinced your father, this is what happens?" her tone suggested disappointment, and her lips were drawn so tight it couldn't even be called a smile anymore. Now it was more like a grimace.</p><p>"Indeed, what is this foolishness? I told you that stupid sports club wasn't a good idea."</p><p>"No papa, I promise it is! I'll work harder on my studies, I will!"</p><p>He watched as his father's grip tightened around his utensil, "Since when have I taught you such disrespect. Did you just tell me no? You don't get to say that to me, whatever I decide is best, is best!"</p><p>Kageyama was afraid to ask what he thought was best. Afraid to ask because he already knew the answer.</p><p>"No! Papa I love it! You can't make me quit!" Kageyama shouted and saw his father's jaw tighten. He knew he'd made a mistake, knew that emotions never worked with his father as they might his mother. Knew that showing how upset he was lost him this. He cursed himself, because he should've remained logical and explained his argument. But he couldn't help it because he was emotional about this. He loved volleyball, couldn't imagine his life without it. Even if his team was cold, even if Oikawa hated him and Iwaizumi thought he was just some kid, he loved that sport. Loved it more than he'd ever loved something before.</p><p>"You will not talk to me that way! Do you understand me!" His father was yelling now, much like that day when he'd turned eight. The sound always startled Kageyama. He knew his father had a bit of a temper, but Tobio was always so good at tip toeing around it that he was always surprised when his father shouted at him. "Do you understand!" he screamed.</p><p>Not trusting his voice, he nodded, trying to hold back tears. Because he wasn't supposed to cry. "You selfish, ungrateful brat! Do you know all that I do for you! I clothe you, feed you, give you the best education I can. Your mother and I slave away for you everyday and you're completely ungrateful! You never do anything in this house, so you don't get to tell me no, and you don't get to tell me what I can and can't do!"</p><p>With every word yelled, Kageyama felt himself crack more and more inside. He was right, Kageyama was acting ungrateful, he was acting selfish. "Stop yelling at him." His mother finally cut in. "I think he understands. Now darling," her smile was still tight, but not as much as before, "your father is right. You said this sport was supposed to help you, but your grades are going down. You understand why you can't keep playing."</p><p>"I'm only adjusting." He still tried to argue, but it sounded weak and useless, even to his own ears. "I promise it'll get better." Don't cry.</p><p>She turned to his father, "Why don't we give him another week. Just one." She suggested.</p><p>His father narrowed his eyes, obviously reluctant, but his mother's calm, logical gaze always rattled him. Finally his grip loosened and some tension slid out of his shoulders, "Fine. But only one. You better get those grades up, and if you don't, you will quit that team."</p><p>"I-I understand papa."</p><p>Get his grades up. He could do that. He would have to.</p><p>But he had a math test coming up, he was terrible at math. Unfortunately, he knew who was great at it, but didn't want to ask them.</p><p>After dinner, he and his mother cleaned up while his father went upstairs. "Mama?"</p><p>"Yes, darling."</p><p>"Um… thank you." His mother paused washing dishes and looked at him, still smiling, but instead of a polite one, it looked tired this time. And he for once noticed how dull her eyes seemed.</p><p>She reached a hand up and ruffled his hair, something she hadn't done in years. And though her hand was cold, wet, and soapy he knew that was her form of acknowledgement. "Why don't you go upstairs. You look tired." She said.</p><p>He wanted to tell her she was the one who looked exhausted, but he nodded and went upstairs instead.</p><p>He'd learned to read his parents from an early age, but the more he grew up, he started seeing the tiny things. How cold his parents were, how his father viewed him as ungrateful, how his mother always sided with his father if he put his foot down. How tired she looked, how angry he looked. And how numb their actions made him feel.</p><p>The next morning, he woke and dressed hurrying out the door so he could get to school early. Maybe study more before class started, maybe get a little ahead. He had a math test Friday, and he wasn't looking forward to it. He had until next Tuesday to prove he could get his grades up, if he got a bad grade on the test, it would destroy those chances.</p><p>He knew he couldn't do it on his own. "Tobio!" his mother shouted, startling him out of his thoughts. "You forgot your lunch."</p><p>"Oh! Thank you, mama." He rushed over to take his lunch and before taking off again he paused. "Um… mama, I have a math test on Friday."</p><p>She crossed her arms, "Alright?"</p><p>"Math isn't my best subject so I was going to ask a classmate if they could help me study for it. Just study! We won't do anything else, I promise!"</p><p>"Your father won't be happy about that."</p><p>"I'll be home before he is." Kageyama hoped his mother understood what he was really saying. <em>He won't even know I was gone</em>.</p><p>No recognition passed through her eyes at his hidden meaning, but she did nod. "Alright, well, as long as it's to help get your grades up I suppose it's alright. But if you want to do anything else, you must introduce this classmate."</p><p>Kageyama nodded enthusiastically, celebrating his very minor win. His father always got the final say, but he couldn't get a say at all if he didn't know there was something to discuss.</p><p>He felt bad lying, and he felt bad for even hinting that his mother should lie for him too, but he needed volleyball. He was willing to do just about anything to keep doing what he loved. Even lie to his father for the very first time in his entire life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>More Oikawa and Tobio action, and delving deeper into family dynamics. Let's see where this goes. Comments loved and appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oikawa slammed his locker shut and leaned on it, giving Tobio an unimpressed stare, "And just why would I want to help you with anything, much less icky math?"</p><p>"I really need to pass my math test." He couldn't tell Oikawa that if he didn't pass he wouldn't be able to play, because Oikawa would probably like that. "Please Oikawa-san!"</p><p>"What will you give me?"</p><p>"Um, I don't have any money."</p><p>Oikawa regarded him for a moment before giving another of his infamous, evil smirks. "Okay, I'll help you,"</p><p>"—Really—"</p><p>"But, you have to be my servant for the rest of today."</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure what that entailed, but he was desperate so he agreed quickly.</p><p>"My house, after school. We'll walk there."</p><p>"Alright! Thank you, Oikawa-san!" Kageyama surged forward and hugged him, one of the first times he'd touched his soulmate.</p><p>"Ah, yes, but don't touch me. You have cooties, remember."</p><p>Kageyama scowled and pulled back, "Cooties was a thing in elementary school. I thought you'd be more mature than that."</p><p>Oikawa looked surprised for a moment and then rolled his eyes, "Surprised you even know what 'mature' means. And I'm more surprised you can pronounce it."</p><p>"Well it isn't rocket science." Kageyama had heard that term before and hoped he'd used it right. Judging by Oikawa's non-smug expression, he probably had. "So, Oikawa-san. If I'm your servant for another day, will you teach me how to serve."</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes, "Nice try, Tobio-chan~" and flicked Kageyama's head before sauntering off in the other direction.</p><p>"What a shithead." He grumbled, crossing his arms.</p><p>A voice startled him out of his thoughts, "Whoa, where'd you hear that from." Kageyama whirled around to see Iwaizumi.</p><p>"Oh um… from you?"</p><p>"Ouch," Iwaizumi chuckled.</p><p>At the sound, Kageyama felt his heart swell with warmth. Iwaizumi made him feel different than Oikawa did. Oikawa made him tingle, made his entire body buzz and his heart speed up just enough to be noticeable.</p><p>But Iwaizumi was different. With him he just felt warm. So warm, it sometimes lingered after he walked inside his house. Iwaizumi made him feel like maybe he was worth something.</p><p>"So what were you talking with Oikawa about?"</p><p>"Studying. I have a math test this Friday. Oikawa-san is going to help me."</p><p>"Wow, that's… amazing."</p><p>Kageyama knew Iwaizumi didn't think that, he was probably just surprised. He figured he shouldn't mention that it wasn't for free because he didn't think Oikawa would like him telling Iwaizumi of their agreement.</p><p>Kageyama was willing to keep another secret for volleyball, as long as it helped him pass on Friday and keep playing, he didn't really care.</p><p>It was becoming easier to lie and keep secrets though, almost to an alarming point. A couple days ago he never would've dreamed of lying. Now it was becoming so easy.</p><p>"So, Oikawa agreed to study with you, yeah?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded.</p><p>"I'm glad," Iwaizumi had a soft expression on his face, "maybe you'll become closer after this. I've always wanted you two to be friends."</p><p>"You…" Kageyama treaded cautiously, "you don't think I'm annoying?"</p><p>His question seemingly startled his senpai, because the older boy almost flinched backwards. "No, I don't think you're annoying." He murmured.</p><p>Kageyama wanted to believe that, wanted to believe it so, so badly. But those words Oikawa had shown him kept replaying in his head. <em>You're not disagreeing</em>. That had haunted Kageyama for the past couple days. But maybe Iwaizumi just didn't want to start fighting over him. He didn't think Kageyama could see what he'd written after all.</p><p>Tobio didn't know if that made it better or worse. Iwaizumi did always step in, when Oikawa was teasing him. He always took Kageyama's side against Oikawa when no one else ever would. He couldn't figure out what Iwaizumi's real thoughts on him were.</p><p>"Believe me," Iwaizumi let out a laugh, "no one could be as annoying as Oikawa. You couldn't be, even if you tried."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yeah, Shittykawa feels threatened by you, he doesn't say it out loud but I know that's what he's thinking. You didn't hear it from me though."</p><p>"Oikawa-san is threatened?" Kageyama couldn't really understand what Iwaizumi meant by that, but it scared him. He silently wondered if he came off as his father did without meaning to. Oikawa didn't act scared around him, but Kageyama didn't act scared around his father either.</p><p>Maybe that was why everyone avoided him. Was it because he was scary?</p><p>"Yeah. He's a weirdo, but it seems you guys are getting along better now."</p><p>Kageyama nodded. Oikawa was giving him a chance, even after Kageyama made him feel threatened. He wouldn't waste this, but he wasn't sure what he was doing that was so scary, so he figured he'd ask Oikawa after school so he could make sure not to do it again.</p><p>But first, he had to survive the day.</p><p>Apparently being the servant of Oikawa meant running around and hearing a lot of Oikawa's whiny complaining. "Take this money and go buy me a drink. Anything but that dreadful milk of yours."</p><p>Kageyama took the money and waited till he'd turned around to roll his eyes. Milk wasn't that bad, and it was good for your bones.</p><p>So, he was forced to slave away all day long, but he swore it would be worth it. Not only would he get help with his math, but this was his chance to make amends with Oikawa. Maybe, if things went well, he could reveal he was their soulmate.</p><p>His parents wouldn't be happy with that, but at this point, Kageyama was desperate. He was sure they'd forgive him eventually.</p><p>"Tobio-chan~." Oikawa sang at the end of volleyball practice right as Kageyama was about to head outside. He knew that voice wasn't good.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I'm not letting you in my house with your sweaty volleyball clothes on. So you have to change."</p><p>"I don't want to."</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes, "You said you were shy, but you know there <em>is </em>such a thing as private dressing rooms."</p><p>"But… won't it be weird. If I go in there and nobody else does."</p><p>"Only if you make it weird which you've obviously been doing. Now come on."</p><p>Kageyama allowed himself to be led into the changing room where he was assaulted by the image of half-naked kids, and it made him more uncomfortable than he thought it would be. He was always the first in the locker room so he could snag a changing room, and he always made sure he was the last one out.</p><p>This was completely new to him. Before he'd been lying about being shy, but maybe it hadn't been as much a lie as he'd thought it'd been.</p><p>He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he walked into one of the private changing rooms, probably because no one had ever seen him in there before. Kageyama shut the door and locked it, changing into his cleaner clothes as quickly as possible before standing and waiting for everyone else to leave. He didn't want to go out and have to wait awkwardly while everyone else was still changing, and he didn't want to be caught staring at Oikawa or Iwaizumi either because he knew that was a wrong thing to do, and it would make them uncomfortable.</p><p>He was always so damn awkward, and he hated it.</p><p>Tobio was startled by a loud banging on the changing room door, "You almost done? How long does it take to put on a shirt and pants?" Oikawa sounded annoyed.</p><p>Kageyama stuffed his gym clothes in his bag and hurriedly unlocked the door, coming out. Oikawa had his hands on his hips, raising an eyebrow at him. "You take forever," he commented.</p><p>Kageyama didn't say anything, just glanced up at him a couple times as they walked out. "Oikawa-san."</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I was talking with someone. And they told me something about you. Um… they said that you were threatened by me."</p><p>Oikawa made a sound in the back of his throat that sounded like a bird squawk. "I'm—"</p><p>"And um, you can tell me! Why you feel threatened, I mean. I didn't mean to scare you."</p><p>"Scare me?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded, trying to gauge Oikawa's reaction. He couldn't read it though, he wasn't sure what the older boy was feeling. He wasn't usually sure of anything having to do with emotions unless it was about his parents.</p><p>"Look, I am not scared of you." Oikawa said. "You're some twelve-year-old kid, who's scared of the dark, and has chipmunk cheeks."</p><p>Kageyama was fairly certain he had no such things. "But Iwaizumi-san said—"</p><p>"Wait! Iwa-chan said I was scared of you! I knew he was dumb, but how could he completely misread the situation like that!"</p><p>Kageyama bit the inside of his cheek. He knew it was more likely he had misread the situation, not Iwaizumi. "He didn't say you were scared. He said you were threatened, and I maybe thought it meant something it didn't."</p><p>Tobio could feel Oikawa's eyes burn into the side of his face but he refused to look up. "Tobio-chan, what about you makes you think I'd be threatened."</p><p>"Well… it's less about me and more about… how you act, around me." Kageyama paused. "You don't like me, even though you like everyone else, and you're mean to me, and you like to mess around with me."</p><p>Kageyama finally looked up at Oikawa waiting for an answer, but he didn't get one. "Don't ever word something like that again."</p><p>"Word what like what?"</p><p>"The thing you just said. Don't say it."</p><p>"Say what?"</p><p>"<em>Ever</em>."</p><p>Kageyama got no more answers, even as he tried to veer the conversation the way he wanted, Oikawa was much too good at discussing something else, and Tobio found he always gave in and spoke about what Oikawa wanted.</p><p>"Well, here we are." Oikawa said when they arrived.</p><p>The house was decently sized, old brown paint clinging to the siding, and an old wooden porch sat out front. The windows themselves looked old, but they were nicely cleaned, and the yard was beautifully kept.</p><p>The house was old, but somehow it still had a lively feel to it.</p><p>What surprised him most was the inside, however. And it wasn't anything in the room that caught his eye, but the overall feeling he got the moment he walked into the house. The glaring difference between this house and his own. He could smell something in the kitchen, and the paint on the walls was a warm color, much unlike the gray paint he had in his house. The furniture actually looked comfy, not like the furniture in his house that looked like decoration. There were small accents here and there, a piece of furniture that was stark against the rest, a wall of paint that didn't match the others. It brought everything to life.</p><p>More than that, the house was actually a bit messy. When Oikawa saw it, he looked a bit embarrassed, "Usually Iwa-chan is the only one who comes over," Oikawa explained as if that was supposed to mean something to Tobio. He nodded anyway.</p><p>"Mom, I'm home! And I brought someone over to study, that's okay, right?"</p><p>Wait, Oikawa hadn't asked his mother beforehand? Kageyama hoped this study session didn't get Oikawa in trouble.</p><p>"That's fine! Iwaizumi?"</p><p>"No, someone else!"</p><p>At that, someone peaked around the corner, and Kageyama straightened up, suddenly glad Oikawa had made him change. At least he looked more presentable this way.</p><p>The woman came towards them, and Kageyama assumed it was Oikawa's mom. "Nice to meet you, ma'am." And he bowed.</p><p>"Oh my, isn't he the cutest thing."</p><p>Kageyama stood straight, looking up at Oikawa's mother. Auburn hair, and brown eyes just like Oikawa's. She was round, and stood taller than Kageyama, at about her son's height. What he noticed most though, was her face. Her cheeks were pink, and her eyes almost seemed to sparkle.</p><p>For lack of a better word, she looked extremely happy. Kageyama didn't know if he'd ever seen someone so openly… happy. "Tooru, he looks so sweet, you should've brought him home sooner."</p><p>Sooner?</p><p>Another thing he didn't understand was the affection in her tone. He wondered if she was okay, or if something was wrong. Oikawa didn't seem to be worried about it, but Tobio couldn't shake the worry.</p><p>Another part of him actually liked the tone. It was nice.</p><p>"Well, you boys have fun studying." She said and her lips quirked up into what Tobio could recognize as Oikawa's signature smirk, and she waved at them, almost playfully.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure how he was supposed to have fun studying, but he would definitely make the best of the time he had.</p><p>"So, you're struggling with math, right?" Oikawa asked, leading him upstairs, and he opened one of the doors as Kageyama nodded.</p><p>"Alright then, take out your books, I'll be back." And as soon as Kageyama was in the room, the door shut again.</p><p>Tobio carefully set his bag on the floor and glanced around the room. It was obviously Oikawa's. It just screamed Oikawa. Every last decoration, every last book, every last picture. The things he owned, the way it was arranged, even the bedspread was Oikawa.</p><p>He didn't expect so many aliens though.</p><p>Kageyama set his bag on the ground and sat beside it, pulling out his homework, and then sat and waited for Oikawa to get back.</p><p>He eventually did, and sat on the floor across from Kageyama. "Alright, what do you want to work on first?"</p><p>Tobio explained the things he was confused on, and even though Oikawa called him an idiot every couple minutes, Kageyama did actually understand him, and Oikawa took the time to make sure he understood. That was more than most of his teachers did. "Oikawa-san, you're a good teacher."</p><p>"I know. I'm good at everything. Sadly I'm going to be a professional volleyball player so the children will never get my expertise."</p><p>"Do you think I'll pass my test on Friday?"</p><p>"Keep practicing what I taught you, and you should. Why are you so concerned with this math test anyway?"</p><p>Kageyama pursed his lips, wondering if he should say. In the end, he figured it couldn't hurt to at least tell him part of the reason why. "My parents expect a lot from me when it comes to grades, and my grades have been suffering. They'll be really disappointed if I fail."</p><p>"I'm sure it won't be that bad. You'll just get a better grade next time."</p><p>Oikawa didn't understand his parents, he didn't understand that there was no 'next time' for Kageyama. "This one's just extra important, okay, Oikawa-san."</p><p>"Fine, whatever. Do you need anymore help with math?"</p><p>"Um… what time is it?"</p><p>Oikawa crawled over to his dresser where a digital clock sat, "It's like six."</p><p>"Six? Like p.m.?"</p><p>"Yeah. What else would it be, a.m.? You better get home, Tobio-chan, it's going to start getting dark here soon."</p><p>The dark was the least of his problems. Tobio shoved his math books and notes inside his bag and hurriedly slipped it on.</p><p>"Well you're certainly in a hurry." Oikawa teased.</p><p>"I told my parents I wouldn't be out too late." Kageyama almost tripped on the last step in his hurry to get down the stairs, but managed to right himself and run to the doorway.</p><p>"Mom, Tobio-chan's leaving." Kageyama heard as he pulled on his shoes.</p><p>"He doesn't want to stay for dinner?"</p><p>"No, he says he has to get home. But Iwa-chan is coming over later and can we go to the park?"</p><p>"Tooru, why do you ask these things after you've already agreed."</p><p>"Because it's less likely you'll say no." Tobio could hear mock innocence in Oikawa's voice and closed the front door right after hearing an exasperated sigh, most likely from his mother.</p><p>Thankfully it wasn't dark yet, so Kageyama could still see, but the sun was going down, and if he didn't hurry fast it would be night time before he got home. He had no idea what was going to happen. He'd told his mother, and she said it was okay. Some sick, sick part of him hoped his father was angrier at her than him.</p><p>He and his mother were more similar, in their appearance, physique, and personality. That was probably why they understood each other better. He didn't understand his father at all though, how he could be so emotional and impulsive. Because his father's emotions ruled him, it was hard to get logic across to him, but using his own emotions was even worse because that always just escalated things further.</p><p>The night air was cool on his face, but Kageyama felt sticky and much too hot. He rubbed his palms on his pant legs as he half-jogged towards his house. He knew he was too late and his father would already be home, so there was no point in rushing and looking panicked.</p><p>Soon he arrived at his house, just as it was getting dark, the door looming in front of him, scary, almost like a huge monster. The entire house looked frightening to him. It was old, grey paint stuck on the wall, pieces of it flaking here and there. The wood looked old, and he just knew spiders hid in the crevices and he knew they scuttered all over his house. They'd always had spider problems He slowly opened the door, the knob feeling like ice on his fingers and when he entered, the house wasn't just cold. It was bone-chilling. He could feel the emptiness and low temperatures sink through his clothes and his skin, down to the very marrow in his bones.</p><p>His mother was nowhere to be seen, and out of the corner of his eye he saw his father, on the couch, the TV on. He heard no sound coming from it, however. Kageyama shut the door behind him as quietly as possible and toed off his shoes.</p><p>He needed to find his mother. "Where've you been?"</p><p>Tobio almost jumped, but held it together and only flinched slightly at the sudden voice. "Um… I've been…" should he lie, had his mother told him, had she lied for him, what had she said? "Studying." He offered vaguely.</p><p>"Your mother said you went to someone's house to study."</p><p>"Mama said it was okay." Tobio defended himself, hoping that would somewhat quell whatever emotion his father was feeling.</p><p>"Oh? And since when did your mother make the decisions in this house?" his father's voice was ice cold.</p><p>"Since…" since never. "I'm sorry." Kageyama had no idea what else to say.</p><p>"You've been different lately, ever since you started playing that wretched sport."</p><p>He didn't feel as if he'd been that different but there was no point in arguing that. "You're quitting that sport."</p><p>"What? Papa, you said—"</p><p>"Well now I'm saying you're to quit, effective immediately."</p><p>Kageyama went quiet for a moment, "What does mama say?"</p><p>"She agrees."</p><p>Mother always agreed.</p><p>"Papa, I don't want to quit." Kageyama tried to keep his tone even but it wobbled somewhere and Tobio bit his tongue hard.</p><p>"I know, son. You'll see it's for the best in the long run." His father's voice turned more comforting, a tone he used to make amends with Kageyama.</p><p>Tobio didn't want to hear it this time</p><p>Without thinking, he turned and threw the front door open, running back out into the night. "Tobio!" he heard his father shout after him and footsteps running after him.</p><p>Kageyama was much faster though and sprinted faster, out of his neighborhood, and down some random street. He couldn't hear his father anymore, just the sound of his own breathing and his feet thumping on the pavement</p><p>He had no idea where he was going, just knew that he had to get away. He couldn't breathe in that house, felt like he was suffocating, choking as he bit back his own emotions</p><p>He was going to have to quit volleyball. He had no idea what to say to that, had no idea how to handle it. He didn't know how to feel his emotions, didn't know what to do when he could no longer think things through calmly and logically.</p><p>He slowed down his sprint to a jog and then stopped, panting, sweat running down his back, making him shiver. He wished he had some water to drink.</p><p>He bent over, hands on his knees, just trying to catch his breath. Eventually though, he sat down on the deserted sidewalk and felt tears well up in his eyes.</p><p>He knew he wasn't supposed to cry, but he figured no one was around to see or hear so he might as well allow himself this just once.</p><p>No more volleyball, his parents were furious with him, his soulmates didn't want him, he was going to fail that math test. He was tired, cold, hungry, alone, and he had no idea where he was or how to get home.</p><p>He didn't have a phone, all the lights in this neighborhood were out. Only the little lone street lamps were visible down the street. He was scared, the darkness was a heavy blanket on his shoulders, making it hard for him to breathe. An ice cold blanket that grabbed his throat and strangled him.</p><p>What was he going to do? How would he get home? He wasn't supposed to talk to strangers, who was going to find him? Would his parents call the police?</p><p>Kageyama made a sound in the back of his throat. A sound he hadn't made since the last time he'd been stuck inside that closet.</p><p>It was a sob, and it was unbearably loud compared to the silence from earlier. He couldn't stop shivering, and his heart ached. He felt a burning in the back of his throat and he couldn't hold it back anymore.</p><p>Tears leaked out of his eyes and down his cheeks, and he wiped his runny nose with the back of his hand, while more and more sobs choked themselves out of him. He tried to stop multiple times, but he couldn't.</p><p>More kept coming, one, two, a hundred, and he couldn't count how many tears leaked onto his shirt and hands. He just wanted to stop feeling this way, but he didn't know how.</p><p>After a couple minutes of just crying he heard something in the distance, like someone walking. He could hear talking, and then laughter.</p><p>Tobio tried to stop sobbing, choking them back, tears still leaking out of his eyes. He told himself to just breathe, to not make a single sound.</p><p>The footsteps got louder, hushed voices, and then more laughter.</p><p>Soon, the footsteps were right on top of him. He hoped they left soon, he wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back the sounds that were trying to claw their way out of his throat.</p><p>He kept his head down, buried in his knees and waited for the people to pass, but they stopped right in front of him. He could feel their stares on his huddled form. Maybe they thought he was one of those weirdos and would hurry passed.</p><p>"Hey kid, you lost?"</p><p>Tobio chanced a glance up at the people and recognized them. He wasn't sure if that was fortunate or not.</p><p>Kageyama didn't trust his voice but it wasn't as if he could just remain silent while someone he actually knew asked a question. "Iwaizumi-san?"</p><p>And god his voice sounded awful. Like gravel when you walked on it.</p><p>"Kageyama?"</p><p>"Tobio-chan, what are you doing out here all by yourself?"</p><p>"Oh, you know, just relaxing." Kageyama couldn't help but sound bitter when he said that.</p><p>Oikawa tilted his head, not used to Kageyama talking to him like that, probably. Or maybe he was just trying to get a better look so he could make fun of him.</p><p>"Are you lost?" Iwaizumi repeated his earlier question.</p><p>"Yes." Kageyama choked on the 'e' and let another embarrassingly loud sob sound escape him.</p><p>"Hey, it's alright, we can take you home." Iwaizumi said, coming over to kneel beside Kageyama, putting a hand on his back.</p><p>Tobio finally lifted his whole head to look at Iwaizumi. Even in almost complete darkness, he still looked handsome. "I don't wanna go home." Kageyama sniffed.</p><p>"Well you probably should, because you look and sound like shit." Oikawa said, crossing his arms.</p><p>Iwaizumi glared at him and then turned back to Kageyama. "Why not?"</p><p>Kageyama shook his head. He couldn't explain why, he just couldn't go home right now, that much he knew. "Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>"Papa is making me quit volleyball!" Tobio shouted suddenly, not able to hold it back anymore, a few more tears spilling down his cheeks.</p><p>"Why?" Oikawa asked.</p><p>"He just is! And I don't want to go home."</p><p>"Well, me and Oikawa were going to have a sleepover anyway. You want to join us?" Iwaizumi asked. "That way you don't have to go home until the morning, if you don't want to."</p><p>Oikawa's eye twitched, "Iwa-chan, you can't just invite people over to my house!" he whined.</p><p>"It's practically our house we've known each other so long, Tooru. Besides look at him."</p><p>Oikawa actually did and Kageyama couldn't hold his gaze, so he turned to stare at the concrete. "Fine, but only because he looks like such a mess."</p><p>Iwaizumi sighed, but didn't complain, and helped pull Kageyama up on his wobbly legs. Tobio sniffed again and wiped at his eyes and nose. "Um… thank you." Kageyama said.</p><p>"It's no problem."</p><p>"Aw, don't worry about it, my cute, little Tobio-chan. As a token of your thanks though, why don't you answer my question."</p><p>"What question, Oikawa-san?"</p><p>"Why do you have your school bag, yet somehow you have no shoes?"</p><p>Kageyama shrugged, "I guess I took off my shoes when I got home, but I didn't set down my bag. I ran out so fast, I didn't remember my shoes." Tobio paused for a moment, thinking, "And, Oikawa-san, won't your mother call my parents to tell them I'm spending the night. They'll come get me if they know where I am."</p><p>"We'll just tell her we already called you parents on Iwa-chan's phone."</p><p>"Why my phone!"</p><p>"Tobio-chan and I don't have phones."</p><p>"Wait, you mean you're going to lie to her?" Kageyama asked, frowning.</p><p>"I mean, yeah. How's she ever gonna know."</p><p>"I don't approve of you lying, Shittykawa, but he's right, Kageyama. She'll never find out."</p><p>"How do you know?"</p><p>"Because parents aren't as smart as they like to pretend~." Oikawa sang.</p><p>Kageyama didn't really understand. Oikawa had an amazing mother, he didn't understand why he would lie to her.</p><p>"See, Iwa-chan, if I had a phone, we wouldn't need to use yours for this lie. So you should try to convince her more."</p><p>"Shut your trap, <em>she </em>wants to buy you a phone. <em>You're </em>the one who said no because you were scared of your number leaking to the whole school for whatever reason."</p><p>"It's a valid concern," Oikawa crossed his arms with a pout and Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.</p><p>"You're not as famous as you like to pretend!"</p><p>"Don't use my own wording against me!"</p><p>Kageyama walked silently in between them, secretly loving how they talked to each other. It was so casual, but each sentence played perfectly off the other. He supposed that was what happened when you were friends with someone for so long.</p><p>"Kageyama agrees with me."</p><p>"Nuh uh, Tobio-chan agrees with me, right Tobio-chan?"</p><p>"I agree with Iwaizumi-san." Kageyama confirmed and Iwaizumi barked out a laugh, ruffling Tobio's hair.</p><p>Oikawa scoffed disbelievingly and then pouted. "You two are mean!"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>More family dynamics once again, this time adding a little bit of the Oikawa family in there, and some more Iwaizumi! Wonder what's gonna happen next. Comments and kudos are love!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They arrived at Oikawa's house soon after they started walking, which surprised Kageyama. He must've run further than he thought. Or maybe Oikawa had actually been telling the truth about living close to Tobio. He hadn't been paying much attention on the walk back from school, more focused on trying (and failing) to back Oikawa into a corner.</p><p>But now he noticed the walk was considerably short. They were back at Oikawa's house within a few minutes. "Okay, so, the story is we ran into Tobio-chan who got lost while trying to walk home, and since he doesn't have a phone, he couldn't call anyone. In come the saviors, Iwa-chan and I, and we so graciously offered—"</p><p>"I'm pretty sure <em>I </em>was the one who offered."</p><p>"—to let Tobio-chan spend the night. We used Iwa-chan's phone to call his parents, because Tobio-chan knew the number, and they said it was fine. Pretty believable story, huh?" Oikawa crossed his arms, looking smug.</p><p>"It's actually not bad." Iwaizumi said.</p><p>"You're so mean! Stop acting so surprised, I'm smarter than you anyway!"</p><p>Iwaizumi snorted, "Maybe at school, but what I lack in academics I make up for with common sense, which you don't have a lot of."</p><p>"That's not true, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa complained, pouting.</p><p>Iwaizumi shrugged, "Whatever, we can argue about this later, let's just go inside."</p><p>Oikawa grumped about the argument getting cut off, but Iwaizumi ignored him and opened the front door.</p><p>The house was as warm as Kageyama remembered, and he was pretty sure he could smell a candle maybe. It was cinnamon or something of the sort.</p><p>"I expected you boys to take longer, you're never home at a reasonable hour." Tobio heard a voice from around the corner.</p><p>"Mom, your reasonable is like four p.m."</p><p>"No, it's like eight, which is what the time is right now."</p><p>"Fine, I guess it depends on your mood."</p><p>Oikawa's mother came in from the other room, "That's actually true-oh, Tobio! I thought your parents wanted you home."</p><p>"Tobio-chan got lost. And he didn't have a phone to call his parents. Luckily we found him. Can he stay here for the night? We already used Iwa-chan's phone and asked his parents and they said it's alright as long as it's alright with you."</p><p>"It's fine with me. Are you hungry dear?"</p><p>Kageyama didn't usually like to eat so late, but he'd had nothing to eat since lunch, he hadn't eaten in so long his stomach was starting to hurt. "If it's no trouble."</p><p>"It's no trouble at all, sweetie!" she guided him by the shoulder into the kitchen and took out some food from the fridge.</p><p>Tobio realized how much of a burden he was being right now, and he realized how much he was imposing on them. Oikawa didn't even like him. "So, Tobio, Tooru talks a lot about his teammates but I've barely heard anything about you. What do you like to do other than volleyball?"</p><p>"Uh…" Kageyama sat down at the dining room table, "I like to study."</p><p>Oikawa's mother smiled, "I wish Tooru liked to study."</p><p>"Studying is nasty," Oikawa pouted.</p><p>"Do you like anything else?" she asked.</p><p>Tobio tried to think about what he liked to do, but couldn't come up with much else. "I like to eat." He tried to think harder.</p><p>"Do you like to spend time with your friends?"</p><p>"I don't have any friends." Oikawa gave him a sharp look. "I mean… I don't usually hang out with my friends. My parents like me to be home right after practice."</p><p>"On the weekends?"</p><p>"I have to study."</p><p>"Oh… so you don't see anybody at all?"</p><p>"I see people at school. And at volleyball." Kageyama defended himself, although he didn't know why he was defensive, and he probably wouldn't have the second thing for much longer.</p><p>"I see. But your parents were okay with you staying over?"</p><p>"Oh… yeah, they um… decided it was okay." Another lie. Kageyama bit his lip, and glanced up at Oikawa's mother, wondering if she could see straight through him.</p><p>She didn't press it further, however, and simply smiled at him. Normally, he would've thought the smile would seem threatening, but Oikawa's mother was very nice to him. He wished her son would be more friendly like her.</p><p>When he was done eating the three boys went upstairs into Oikawa's room, and Oikawa shut the door behind them.</p><p>Oikawa let out a breath before whisper-screaming, "Holy shit, I thought she was going to find us out!"</p><p>"Maybe your mother is smarter than you think." Iwaizumi said, smirking.</p><p>Oikawa scowled, "She just got lucky because Tobio-chan was giving too much information!" he turned his glare on Tobio, who crossed his arms and huffed.</p><p>"I was just trying to answer honestly." He grumbled.</p><p>"Honesty is how you die." Oikawa said.</p><p>Kageyama didn't know that. "Tooru, don't teach him bad things." Iwaizumi glared at him.</p><p>"I'm just saying honesty isn't always a good thing. Lies aren't always a bad thing. Especially if they help people. Like not telling my mother about Tobio-chan's situation."</p><p>"Maybe that was a good thing. But don't tell him to make a habit about it."</p><p>"No such words came out of my mouth." Oikawa lifted his nose. "He can interpret something how he wants."</p><p>Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.</p><p>"So I should… lie more?"</p><p>"No!" Iwaizumi said quickly. "Just… keep being you."</p><p>"Don't listen to Iwa-chan. Being yourself is a horrible idea."</p><p>"You literally give the shittiest advice I've ever heard in my entire life!"</p><p>"Don't shoot the messenger. I'm just being <em>honest</em>."</p><p>Kageyama was a little confused. Should he lie more or not? Be himself or not? How did he not be himself? Oikawa was being confusing, and then Iwaizumi contradicted everything he said so Tobio was doubly confused.</p><p>"So um…" Tobio started, wanting to change the subject because he didn't want to let the two older boys know he was confused, "what do people do at sleepovers? I mean, they sleep right? Just at someone else's house. A sleep… over?"</p><p>"You're hilarious Tobio-chan. Everyone knows you don't actually sleep at sleepovers. I mean… you do… sort of."</p><p>Kageyama was confused again.</p><p>"Well, at sleepovers you plan to stay up all night, but usually you fall asleep." Oikawa explained at last.</p><p>"Oh, okay."</p><p>"Speaking of which, we only have one futon…"</p><p>"I'll take the floor." Iwaizumi said.</p><p>"No, Iwaizumi-san, I should take the floor." Tobio was the one who'd just barged in after all.</p><p>"It's alright, you're probably tired. And it's only for one night. I'll take the floor."</p><p>Tobio didn't like arguing, and this wasn't too important of a matter, so he agreed. "Alright."</p><p>"Aww, you two are so cute." Coming from anyone else, it would've sounded affectionate, but out of Oikawa's mouth, it sounded like a taunt.</p><p>Iwaizumi picked up on it too, "One more word, Shittykawa and you're taking the floor."</p><p>"Mean, Iwa-chan!</p><p>Iwaizumi rolled his eyes and went to Oikawa's closet, getting the futon down and setting it up for Kageyama. "Do you want help?" Tobio asked.</p><p>"It's alright."</p><p>Nobody ever needed his help. "I need your help, Tobio-chan." Oikawa gave him a pout, "My feet are sore, massage them."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"You, are a horrible senpai." Iwaizumi said, glaring.</p><p>"Iwa-chan! I just asked, he wants to!"</p><p>Iwaizumi sighed and grumbled about how Kageyama was a guest, but kept working on the futon while Tobio gave Oikawa a foot message.</p><p>"Okay, it's ready." Iwaizumi said after a couple more minutes. "I'm just gonna get some extra blankets and pillows. Oikawa, be nice."</p><p>"Why do you assume it's me!" Oikawa wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms. Iwaizumi didn't answer him, and left.</p><p>Maybe he should've kept quiet, but after being around the two soulmates for so long, he had to know. "Oikawa-san um…" Tobio started almost as soon as Iwaizumi had left, "You and Iwaizumi-san are soulmates, right?"</p><p>"Yeah, I showed you my arms that day, didn't I?"</p><p>Tobio barely stopped himself from flinching at the memory, "Yes, you did. But um, do you and Iwaizumi-san like each other? <em>Like </em>each other?"</p><p>"Yeah." Oikawa said bluntly.</p><p>"But how come you don't kiss?" when he was younger and got to watch movies, the characters always kissed to show they were in love. But Kageyama never saw his parents kiss, though they said they were in love. He'd never seen any couple kiss besides the ones on TV.</p><p>"Silly Tobio-chan," Oikawa said in that condescending voice he always used with Kageyama, "you don't have to kiss to be in love. Iwa-chan and I don't feel comfortable kissing yet."</p><p>"Do you go on dates?" characters in the movies always did that too.</p><p>"I guess so. We hang out a lot."</p><p>"But I thought that was different from a date."</p><p>Oikawa sighed and withdrew his feet from Kageyama's hands. "I'm going to tell you something, Tobio-chan. Come here." Kageyama crawled over closer to Oikawa and waited, "My love life isn't any of your business. There's this thing called the internet, and it'll help answer your questions, okay? We aren't friends."</p><p>"I know." Kageyama had never asked if Oikawa wanted to be his friend, so they couldn't be. But Tobio had thought maybe they were growing closer like Iwaizumi had said. He supposed he was wrong.</p><p>"Great. Then stop acting like it. I lied for you and let you into my house because you were scared and upset and I was being a decent person. Don't mistake that decency for friendliness, got it?"</p><p>"I won't." Kageyama said but he couldn't help feeling hurt. He hadn't thought of him and Oikawa as friends, or even himself and Iwaizumi as friends, but Oikawa's tone hurt. It always did.</p><p>Iwaizumi came back with pillows and blankets, setting them up. "You're such a mom, Iwa-chan." Oikawa switched back to being annoying.</p><p>"And you're such an asshole."</p><p>Oikawa huffed and plucked Tobio off his bed, setting him on the futon. "Fine, gang up against me then."</p><p>"Kageyama literally hasn't said anything.”</p><p>"Okay, Tobio-chan, pick a side."</p><p>"You're an asshole." Kageyama said bluntly, and he meant it. Maybe Oikawa wasn't the best person to look up to after all. He was a good volleyball player, but Kageyama was beginning to see his soulmate was a mean person. He still craved acceptance and love, of course, but maybe it was time to close himself off. Maybe his parents had been right. Was Oikawa the kind of bad soulmate they were talking about?</p><p>It didn't make sense in his head, because Oikawa was relatively nice to Iwaizumi. They both had a good relationship, a relationship where they didn't even need to kiss to show love.</p><p>Maybe his parents had been wrong about his soulmates. Maybe they weren't bad, maybe he was. What if he was the bad soulmate his parents always told him existed.</p><p>Kageyama pulled back the covers and crawled into the futon. Iwaizumi went and turned off the lights, plunging the room into complete darkness.</p><p>Kageyama's breath caught in his throat when the darkness consumed him, and he searched for any smidgen of light at all. He found none. He'd grown too comfortable lately, with Oikawa's nightlight that he'd given him.</p><p>Now it was like a heavy blanket of weight on top of him, the darkness straining.</p><p>He shifted over to the edge of the futon, as close to Iwaizumi on the floor as he could get.</p><p>"Kageyama?"</p><p>Tobio jumped, "Yes?"</p><p>"You okay, you're breathing heavy."</p><p>"Um… I'm fine."</p><p>"No you're not." A different voice, not Iwaizumi, spoke this time. "I forgot baby Tobio-chan is scared of the dark."</p><p>"Am not!"</p><p>"Should we get a flashlight or something?"</p><p>"I don't know where my mom keeps flashlights, and she'll be annoyed if I bother her this late."</p><p>"I'm fine." Kageyama insisted. It wasn't as if he hadn't dealt with this for several years. If anything, it was embarrassing how much it still affected him. He shouldn't feel this way, it was silly and childish to be afraid of the dark.</p><p>"It's okay to feel afraid, Kageyama."</p><p>"I know." It was okay to be afraid of things like death and murder and fire and such. But things like being afraid of spiders and the dark and clowns and heights weren't okay to be afraid. Especially since he was so old now. These things shouldn't scare him anymore. It was so embarrassing that they did.</p><p>"Is there anything I can do to make you feel less afraid."</p><p>"I'm not afraid of the dark." Kageyama said firmly.</p><p>"Yes you are." Oikawa said.</p><p>"Oikawa, shut up. Everyone was afraid of the dark okay!"</p><p>"Yeah, when we were five." He heard the sneer in Oikawa's voice even if he couldn't see his face.</p><p>"When I was afraid of something, my dad would help me through it. When I was scared of the dark, he got me a nightlight, and he would sit with me until I fell asleep."</p><p>"My parents don't do that." Kageyama admitted.</p><p>"Would it help, if I stayed up until you fall asleep."</p><p>"No, you shouldn't do that," Kageyama said quickly, "we have school tomorrow."</p><p>"I know. But you need to get some sleep too."</p><p>"I'm used to it."</p><p>"That doesn't mean it's good. Just lay down and try to get some rest."</p><p>Kageyama obeyed and laid down, feeling Iwaizumi's hand resting on his wrist. He shouldn't be so affected, but he couldn't help it. Iwaizumi's hand sent warmth through his body, and while it didn't get rid of the fear, it eased it. He wasn't alone. He could do it if he wasn't alone.</p><p>He didn't think he'd ever been this close to Iwaizumi. Sure there had been times when he was physically this close, like when they did a team huddle, or Iwaizumi patted his shoulder, but he'd never felt this connected with him.</p><p>His parents hadn't touched him like this in so long, no hugs, no cuddling, no hand holding. For a long time, Kageyama thought he didn't like to touch people, didn't like physical affection, thought it was for kids. But ever since he joined the team he realized he loved touching. It could be anything from a handshake to a hug, it didn't matter. He thought it was weird, how much he liked to be close to people, but it made him feel so warm. Warmth he hadn't felt in the longest time.</p><p>Tobio almost wished it could be like this all the time. Him, Iwaizumi, and Oikawa, just lying here. Even though Oikawa was a jerk sometimes, he was still Kageyama's soulmate, and Tobio cared about him, and wished he could be apart of his life. He wanted to feel this warmth from his soulmates being here with him all the time, wanted his soulmates to love and accept him, wanted to be able to have soulmates.</p><p>His parents said some soulmates were bad, but if anything he was the bad soulmate here, he didn't need to worry anymore. Iwaizumi was nice to him, and Oikawa, at the very least was decent. Some part of him didn't want to go back to his constantly freezing house. Some part of him didn't want to see his father's angry face ever again or see his mother's tired eyes staring at him disappointedly.</p><p>He just wanted to fade from them, even though he knew that was selfish and ungrateful just as his father said. It was a guilty desire of his. He wanted to be like this always, just wanted to be warm again, just like when he was a child and his mom would sweep him up in her arms and hold him. A memory he wasn't even sure was real because it seemed so unlike her now.</p><p>The warmth sunk into Kageyama's bones and he felt himself drifting off to sleep, his breath evening out, but he was kept from going to sleep by a voice on the opposite side of him.</p><p>"Iwa-chan…"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Do you think Tobio-chan's okay?"</p><p>Kageyama felt Iwaizumi shift, sitting up. Tobio was careful not to move and to keep his breathing even.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"I mean… I don't know, he just seems off. Or, I mean his family seems off."</p><p>"Tooru," Iwaizumi's voice was chiding, "it's not your job to come up with theories on Kageyama's home life. If he wants you to know, he'll tell you."</p><p>"I know that." Oikawa said indignantly, "That doesn't mean I have to ignore the signs around me."</p><p>"Oh? And what signs are you seeing exactly." Iwaizumi grumbled, unamused.</p><p>"Oh come on, Iwa-chan. Even an idiot like you could see. He said he doesn't hang out with any friends, and his only interests are studying, volleyball, and eating, what kind of interests are those? Doesn't he have a favorite book or movie? Shouldn't he actually have something fun to do outside of school like playing at the arcade or going to the park."</p><p>"Maybe he forgot about those things. He was on the spot."</p><p>"And another thing, he was frantic to get out of here earlier today, almost tripped going down the stairs in his rush. And then later we find him lost and in tears! If we hadn't found him, he could've gotten sick, or something worse could've happened."</p><p>"Your point?"</p><p>"That something's wrong with his fucking family." Oikawa hissed.</p><p>"I think you're reading too much into things. If something was there Tooru, he would tell someone about it."</p><p>Oikawa was silent, "Sometimes you can't tell, Haijime."</p><p>Iwaizumi sighed, it sounded tired. "What?"</p><p>"Some people don't always know, okay. They can't <em>see </em>like we can."</p><p>"See?"</p><p>Oikawa groaned, "Yes, see. Sometimes… sometimes the person in a bad situation is so busy just trying to survive the situation, that they can't even tell that it's <em>bad</em>."</p><p>Iwaizumi's hand left Kageyama's wrist and he heard the older boy move around to Oikawa's bed. "Tooru, I think you might be projecting your own experiences on to him. Kageyama isn't you. And his dad is not yours."</p><p>"I know… but I—"</p><p>"You're <em>worried</em>. That's okay, but please don't say anything because you might be completely wrong."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>He heard some rustling behind him and then silence. Then, he heard the broken sound he'd been making earlier cut through the air. He was pretty sure Oikawa was crying, even though Kageyama didn't know why.</p><p>He wanted to get up and comfort him too, but he was also pretty sure he wasn't supposed to have heard that conversation.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hmm, what's up with Oikawa? Comments are awesome and appreciated ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning started a little too early for Kageyama's tastes, and apparently Oikawa didn't like early rising either. "Alright you guys! Up, up, we have a busy day ahead." Iwaizumi's loud voice invaded Kageyama's ears, making him pull the covers up over his head.</p><p>"It's just school." Oikawa grumbled, flipping over on to his other side.</p><p>"Is that what lazy people tell themselves? It's also volleyball practice, so get up." Kageyama felt Iwaizumi's hands reach down under the blanket and grab him under the armpits, pulling him up, and setting him on his feet. Dazed and still half-asleep Tobio stumbled but managed to stay on his feet and rub his eyes tiredly.</p><p>Somehow Iwaizumi did the same to Oikawa, who actually did fall and then started to complain more. "It's early Iwa-chan! It's like five a.m. and now my hip hurts cus of your manhandling."</p><p>"Your hip hurts because you stumbled around like you were drunk. Kageyama stood up just fine."</p><p>"Yeah, who's the baby now." Kageyama grumbled.</p><p>Oikawa gasped, and righted himself instantly, his hip apparently not as hurt as he was trying to sell. "Tobio-chan is mean!"</p><p>Kageyama knew he was being mean, but it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Besides, Oikawa made it clear they weren't friends so why should he care if he was mean to Oikawa? Oikawa was mean to him all the time.</p><p>Oikawa huffed and crossed his arms.</p><p>"Don't call Tooru a baby." Iwaizumi scolded lightly.</p><p>"Sorry," Kageyama said. He wasn't all that sorry though.</p><p>After that, they all got ready for school, Kageyama going into the bathroom to change. He'd always been a private person, his parents drilled that he needed to cover up into his head from a very young age. He'd never realized just how private he was though until yesterday in the locker room. People had never made him feel so uncomfortable before.</p><p>He slid on the same uniform he had on yesterday, even the jacket though he could tell it was going to be a nice, warm day. Fall was just starting and it wouldn't grow cold for another week or two. Before pulling the jacket on all the way, he stared at his arms for a moment. Kageyama saw no new soulmarks, though he knew he shouldn't be looking for them in the first place. That was spying, and spying was wrong.</p><p>It hurt, however, knowing who his soulmates were and not telling them who he was. He very desperately wanted someone to be his soulmate, wanted someone to love him like a soulmate should. But Oikawa didn't even like him as a friend, much less as a soulmate. He and Iwaizumi were perfect together anyway, they didn't need him.</p><p>Tobio smoothed down his hair as a finishing touch before leaving the bathroom and going downstairs.</p><p>Iwaizumi and Oikawa were already sitting, and there was breakfast on the table. A third plate was in another seat, and Tobio thought it might be for him but it could also be for Oikawa's mother who had probably forgotten he was here.</p><p>"Are you going to stand there all day with a dumb look on your face or are you eating?"</p><p>"My face isn't dumb!" Kageyama glared and despite his tone, slinked over to his chair and sat down. "Um, where's your mother?"</p><p>"At work." Oikawa said.</p><p>His mother worked? "But what about your father?" for as long as Tobio could remember, his father had always gone to work and his mother always took care of the house. And for some reason something always needed to be done with the house. When had been the last time he saw his mother sit down for something that wasn't a meal?</p><p>"I don't have a dad." Oikawa said.</p><p>"Oh… sorry." He was pretty sure that was what he was supposed to say, even though Oikawa didn't seem very bothered by the fact he had no father.</p><p>"What about you Tobio-chan. What are your parents supposed to be doing right now?" Oikawa asked lithely.</p><p>"Papa's at work. And mama is probably cleaning. Or maybe cooking. She could also be washing dishes or doing laundry, and she might also be at the store," Tobio paused, "one of those things."</p><p>"Wow, your mom does a lot around the house." Iwaizumi said, with raised eyebrows.</p><p>"Yeah, my mom doesn't have time to do all that stuff all the time." Oikawa said.</p><p>"I offer to help mama, but she never wants help."</p><p>"Maybe you should just do it." Iwaizumi suggested. "You know, instead of asking her if she needs help, just do it."</p><p>Kageyama thought about that. His mother didn't usually say anything if he started to help of his own accord, but she always said no when he asked. Maybe Iwaizumi was right. "I'll try that." And he continued eating.</p><p>They walked to school together and as Oikawa and Iwaizumi were talking and joking, Kageyama tried to get the conversation he'd heard last night out of his head. He didn't understand much of it, but he did understand, "<em>there's something wrong with his fucking family</em>". That was a little hard to misunderstand. By 'his' Oikawa could've only meant Tobio. What he didn't understand was everything else. He didn't understand why Oikawa would even think that at all, and he didn't understand what Iwaizumi meant about <em>projecting your own experiences</em>, and most of all he didn't understand why Oikawa started crying. All of those things were a complete mystery he couldn't even ask anyone about because he was pretty sure Oikawa and Iwaizumi would both be mad if they knew he was eavesdropping. And they had every right to be angry about that, because eavesdropping was wrong, but he was tired of dealing with anger.</p><p>He'd almost rather… almost rather <em>lie </em>about this too. What did one more lie matter. Besides it wasn't as if Oikawa and Iwaizumi were his parents, they weren't going to find out. And it wasn't as if he owed them the truth anyway. Sure they were his soulmates but it wasn't like <em>they </em>knew that.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah, because you're lying to them about soulmates too.</em>
</p><p>Kageyama's scowl deepened and his hands tightened on his bag. That was different. He had to keep that secret. No one could ever know who his soulmates were but him. This all sounded oddly like justifying horrible things, but Kageyama just didn't want to get in trouble.</p><p>Tobio went through his day like clockwork, studying, working, participating. It was a pretty good day overall. He didn't get a single answer wrong when he raised his hand, and he understood the material pretty well. The study session with Oikawa definitely helped him with math. He was feeling confident he could pass the math exam.</p><p>If he survived long enough to take it anyway.</p><p>Then came practice, the same as usual. Oikawa teased him and Iwaizumi stopped him. Tobio and the other first years huddled together in a group Kageyama wasn't truly apart of, and they practiced. They played.</p><p>Kageyama tried not to think about how this might be the last time he ever touched a volleyball.</p><p>He stayed for a little longer after practice ended.</p><p>A lot longer, actually.</p><p>He didn't want to go home to where he knew the end of everything was.</p><p>He didn't want to go.</p><p>Kageyama felt something bubble up in his chest, an emotion that made him slam the volleyball on the floor as hard as he could, the ball striking with a satisfying bam that echoed through the gym.</p><p>And he threw it again.</p><p>And again. And again.</p><p>He threw it until there was none of the emotion left inside him, just an emptiness and resignation. He should've known this would happen. Nothing that made him happy ever lasted.</p><p>He put the volleyball away and cleaned up the gym as best he could before grabbing his bag and slowly making his way home before it got dark.</p><p>Before now he'd always had something to lean on, whether it be his mother's persuasion skills or Oikawa and Iwaizumi. But now there was no one to help him. He had to go home, and his mother already agreed to take him out of volleyball.</p><p>When he got home and opened the door, everything was eerily silent.</p><p>He shut the door hard behind him, but didn't call out for his parents.</p><p>Kageyama heard movement upstairs and then extremely loud footsteps pounding down the stairs. He recognized them as his father. When the man rounded the corner to see him, Kageyama honestly couldn't read his expression. It was something Tobio had never seen before, he didn't know what to expect.</p><p>"Kageyama Tobio!" his father's face twisted into an emotion Kageyama knew very well, anger, but there was still that strange one he didn't recognize. "How dare you!" from those first three words, Kageyama knew he was in for a long night.</p><p>He resigned himself and sat down on the couch, his mother nowhere in sight. There was no one to help him when his father started yelling.</p><p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Selfish". "Ungrateful". "Stupid". "Childish". </em>
</p><p>Kageyama sat there and took the shouting and the anger because that was all he could do. He knew his father was right anyway. He was a moron, he'd stupidly acted on his own emotions and caused his parents unneeded stress. He'd been selfish. Running away wasn't okay. Running away was what a little kid would've done.</p><p>"You will never go to those volleyball practices, or volleyball games ever again! I see I'm going to have to be even harder on you. You will come home right after school, I will have your mother time you. When you get home you will go straight upstairs and do your homework and then you will eat dinner and go right to bed after!"</p><p>Kageyama closed his eyes, heart pounding inside his chest, and he fought desperately to keep his tears at bay. "Papa," Tobio knew he had no room to argue or negotiate but he still had to try, "would it be alright if… there's a study group and they meet after school. We just sit there and study and um… get smarter. But we're in school and that helps me focus better than at home."</p><p>"How long is it?"</p><p>"An hour. I'll be home right after, I promise."</p><p>His father had that contemplative look on his face he always wore when he tried to look like he was debating his decision even though he already knew what he was going to do.</p><p>At last, his father nodded, "I don't see why not." He then gave Tobio a sharp glare. "But you better be studying!"</p><p>Kageyama nodded quickly in agreement. "Now go upstairs and wash up." His father ordered.</p><p>Tobio hurried upstairs after that, not wanting his father to change his mind, heart pounding erratically inside his chest. When he got to the top he stood there shakily. He couldn't believe he had just lied to his father again. Actually lied to him. And no one knew he lied but him.</p><p>Kageyama had no intention of going to some study group he didn't care about. He would go to volleyball practice.</p><p>
  <em>Parents aren't as smart as they like to pretend.</em>
</p><p>Kageyama hoped Oikawa was right.</p><p>He set his bag down in his room and when he came out again he saw his mother, folding laundry in the bedroom. She didn't even turn to look at him.</p><p>After Kageyama was showered and wearing another comfy hoodie and sweatpants he went downstairs to eat dinner. His father was sitting at the table, and his mother was making noise in the kitchen. He thought about taking Iwaizumi's advice and going to help her but he felt extremely tired for some reason, and wasn't sure he'd be much help anyway.</p><p>After his mother set the food on the table, they started eating. "Tobio," his father started, "now that your mother is here I would like to say that we were very worried about you."</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"Where did you go?"</p><p>"I um… there was this nice woman. She had two little kids and asked if I was okay. I stayed at her house and she was nice to me. I know you said not to talk to strangers but I was hungry!" Tobio's bottom lip trembled.</p><p>"It's okay, Tobio. It's okay." His father said.</p><p>His mother only stared at him for several minutes. Then, she broke down and said, "I missed you dear." After her admission she gave him a small, polite smile.</p><p>He knew that was all he would get from her.</p><p>After dinner, he went upstairs and did his homework. All his parents thought he was good for was studying and doing homework.</p><p>Tobio, for the longest time, felt like something was missing from his life, but he couldn't pinpoint it. Maybe it was his lack of soulmates, but he knew he couldn't have those, resigned himself to that fact.</p><p>So what was it?</p><p>His question wasn't answered that night, or the next morning.</p><p>Maybe he never would find what was missing.</p><hr/><p>"Tobio-chan~!" Oikawa ran at him, a much too happy look on his face. "Graduation is almost here! Are you going to miss me Tobio-chan. I wouldn't blame you if you did~."</p><p>"I'll miss you. But graduation still isn't for a while." Kageyama said bluntly, setting his school bag onto the ground.</p><p>Oikawa frowned and pouted as Iwaizumi asked, "How'd it go with your parents last night."</p><p>"They were fine. They said they were sorry and didn't realize how important volleyball was to me and let me come back." He lied.</p><p>"That's good."</p><p>Oikawa stared at him suspiciously before shrugging. "So you didn't have to beg or anything like that?"</p><p>"Oikawa-san, why would I beg?"</p><p>Iwaizumi gave Oikawa a pointed look that said 'I told you so'. Kageyama only knew that look because his parents often sent that look at him.</p><p>"Well you must've had to do something. I mean you basically threw a temper tantrum."</p><p>Kageyama wanted to say he hadn't, but he had. What else did you call running away and throwing volleyballs around. Kageyama didn't know how to handle his emotions besides to push it down. That's all he'd ever known, one of the only things his mother had ever taught him. "They understood." Kageyama grumbled, blushing at his own immature behavior.</p><p>"They did?"</p><p>"Yes, Oikawa-san. I don't want to talk about it."</p><p>"You didn't <em>lie </em>did you, Tobio-chan?"</p><p>"God would you just shut up!" He hadn't meant to sound so angry, or shout it in the first place, but his outrage echoed through the gym and everyone turned their heads to look at them.</p><p>"So I was right."</p><p>How dare he sound so smug. Kageyama finally lost it, "Fuck you! You're a confusing asshole! You're always trying to annoy me and make fun of me and then you do something nice and I don't understand! You're so <em>mean </em>to me Oikawa-san and you aren't ever mean to anyone else! You don't tease them like me, you help them with volleyball! I don't understand you!" he screamed.</p><p>"It's not my job to make sure you understand me." Oikawa sneered. "It isn't my job to make sure little Tobio-chan feels secure, okay!"</p><p>Kageyama fell silent and glanced around the room where everyone had already turned away. What the hell was their problem? They always turned a blind eye, even when something was blatantly, obviously not right. They didn't care enough about Kageyama to stand up to their captain.</p><p>Iwaizumi was the only one still looking at them, but he didn't say anything, only stared between the two of them. And maybe Iwaizumi didn't mean to, but he had the same look his mother always had when he and his father would argue. That look of disappointment.</p><p>Turning back to Oikawa who still had his lips curled back, Tobio knew he would have to be the bigger person. "Okay." He didn't know what else to say. How was he supposed to argue? It wasn't Oikawa's job, it was Tobio's job to regulate his own emotions. He didn't know how to tell Oikawa he was right and also wrong at the same time.</p><p>He'd never been good at articulating his thoughts, not like his mother was. He was more like her, but he was still too emotional and irrational at times to clearly think of what to say. And he knew if he let his emotions get the better of him, he might end up spouting things he regretted.</p><p>It was easier to submit.</p><p>It was easier to agree.</p><p>Just to keep the peace, to make sure everyone was okay.</p><p>Oikawa stared at him critically, "So nothing happened with your family."</p><p>Kageyama couldn't help but bite out bitterly, "It's not my job to make you understand my family." And he turned away to practice somewhere else.</p><p>He'd determined that Oikawa had been worried about him at the sleepover, maybe he'd been sad. Kageyama wanted to take that away. But he owed Oikawa nothing.</p><p>As the older boy said himself, he was only being a decent human being. Any decent person would've done what he did. He decided that Oikawa's rude behavior was more than enough reason not to repay him.</p><p>Oikawa and him weren't friends, just as the older boy said. That meant he didn't have to tell Oikawa anything, and it meant he didn't get to pry into Oikawa's life either.</p><p>That meant he vowed never to read the writing on his arms again.</p><p>He decided to ignore his soulmates.</p><p>He decided he didn't need them.</p><p>He wasn't living in a movie or some sappy romance story. He shouldn't have expected Oikawa and Iwaizumi to come into his life and fix how he was feeling. No one else could fix him. Especially people who didn't even know who he really was.</p><p>He knew he'd probably just messed up whatever sort of relationship he'd had with Oikawa these past few weeks by being so cold but at least he passed his math test the next day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And here we have Oikawa being an ass who disguises his caring with assholery (are we really surprised), Tobio being hurt (again, are we really surprised) and Iwaizumi not knowing how the fuck to help either of them (we aren't surprised). Basically they're all confused (I am too haha). Comments appreciated. Love you guys and all your support!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Blood (from minor injuries)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As months passed, Oikawa and Kageyama's relationship didn't improve much. They avoided each other as much as possible, even as Iwaizumi tried to get them closer.</p><p>He felt bad, ignoring Iwaizumi, as his senpai always tried to be nice to him, and protect him from Oikawa. It always made him feel so warm when Iwaizumi tried, and ignoring him was much harder than he thought it would be.</p><p>Oikawa didn't come up to him with his annoying 'Tobio-chan' anymore. Kageyama hadn't realized how tired he was of that until it stopped.</p><p>His parents never found out about volleyball either, so at least Oikawa had been good for something. He didn't even remember how many lies he was keeping at this point, but he remembered three big lies he could never tell anyone.</p><p>1. He was playing volleyball against his parents wishes.</p><p>2. He heard that conversation between Oikawa and Iwaizumi.</p><p>3. Oikawa and Iwaizumi were his soulmates.</p><p>He'd done well in keeping those three secrets, and lying his way out of everything. He didn't get as many looks for wearing long-sleeves because it was cold out now. The temperatures dropped rapidly and every day, Tobio woke up wondering if it had snowed.</p><p>It hadn't though, much to his disappointment. Snow was one of his favorite things about winter, and maybe it would make winter break go a little faster because so far, he'd been stuck inside all day doing nothing but study and help his mom. There wasn't much else for him to do. He didn't have a phone, he could only get on the computer for school work, and he didn't exactly have any friends to go spend time with.</p><p>He could imagine all the things that Iwaizumi and Oikawa were doing that he was missing out on. Maybe they were playing games at the arcade, or getting coffee at some cool shop. Maybe they were having another sleepover, or watching a movie.</p><p>Kageyama wanted to have fun like that. Wanted to go somewhere outside his backyard, somewhere without his parents looking over his shoulder. He needed a break from this house, from his parents.</p><p>He didn't know what exactly went through his mind when he decided to go through with it, but from what he remembered, his head was pretty empty when he decided to crawl out his bedroom window.</p><p>That was why he also wasn't wearing a coat over his hoodie or shoes. What he'd done, he'd done on impulse and now he half regretted it and half didn't. He probably looked a little strange walking down the street without shoes, but he didn't really care about that. He eventually concluded that he shouldn't feel bad because this was better than being in his room at one o'clock miserable because of winter break.</p><p>He should have fun on his days off from school, like he knew normal kids did, but as things stood school was his favorite place to be, partly because it was one of the only places he was allowed to be.</p><p>Not sure where he was going, he just shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around the streets, peeking into the windows of random stores before moving on. People did give him looks, but Kageyama just ignored them.</p><p>He eventually decided to hang out at a park he walked passed, and sat on one of the benches, watching kids have fun playing on the swings and jungle gyms. The kids cleared out quickly though, all of them leaving, and soon the park was deserted except for himself.</p><p>Tobio remembered that those kids used to be him, before he started school. When he got to run around and play. He almost missed that. He knew he was too old for that now, but sometimes he still wished he could be that little kid again.</p><p>He didn't know how long he sat there, but long enough for his hands and feet to start growing numb. Suddenly, he was startled by a finger tapping his shoulder.</p><p>Kageyama whirled around to see a kid, probably no older than nine staring at him. He was small, wearing mittens and a hat, orange curls poking out of the bottom. "Hi." He said plainly and climbed over the top of the bench and made Tobio move so he could plop down beside him.</p><p>"Um… hi." New person bells were ringing in Tobio's head, warning him that this interaction was already a terrible idea. New people were unknown, weird, and made his anxiety spike.</p><p>"How come you aren't wearing shoes?" the boy pointed at his feet, grinning widely.</p><p>"I forgot them."</p><p>"Oh," the boy paused like he was thinking about something before continuing, "I forget things all the time. Like my lunch, and my math homework, and my pencil, and my gloves, and my coat, and sometimes I forget my sunglasses. I've never forgotten my shoes before though."</p><p>"That's a lot of stuff." Kageyama commented, just to have something to say.</p><p>"Yeah… I'm Hinata."</p><p>"I'm…" he wasn't supposed to talk to anyone outside his school, but then again he also wasn't supposed to sneak out, so he figured he might as well. "I'm Kageyama."</p><p>"Wanna play?"</p><p>Kageyama was about to refuse, saying that was a little kid thing but Hinata had already taken his hand and was dragging him over to the playground equipment.</p><p>"Wanna be pirates?" Hinata asked, grabbing hold of the ladder and using it to climb onto the structure.</p><p>"No."</p><p>"What about dragons? Or we could be cats and dogs. I call dog!"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Like you be a cat, and I'll be a dog. But you have to be higher than me cus cats are always climbing around on those thingies."</p><p>Kageyama was completely lost. "Why would I want to be a cat?"</p><p>"I don't know." Hinata said, shrugging. "We could play house. I'm the older brother. What are you?"</p><p>"Uh… I guess I'll be the younger brother?"</p><p>"Haha, that means you have to do what I say." Hinata ran up a flight of stairs while Kageyama tried to climb up the ladder.</p><p>"That's not how it works!" Kageyama shouted and huffed in annoyance.</p><p>"Yeah it is! I'm older."</p><p>"Well you're not older for real."</p><p>"Oh yeah? How old are you?" he grabbed a post on the jungle gym and started swaying on it and hanging on it.</p><p>"Twelve!"</p><p>"When's your birthday?"</p><p>"December."</p><p>"Hehe, you just turned twelve huh?"</p><p>"Yeah." Not that he'd had a celebration. Birthdays weren't a very special in his house. Why would he celebrate something as simple as his own birth anyway? He didn't judge other people having birthdays, but he did think it was a little self-centered. After all, most people weren't famous or anything. He didn't understand why you would celebrate your birth. You were just born, you didn't get to decide that, it wasn't your biggest accomplishment or anything. If anything he thought mothers and fathers should get a celebration on your birthday. They were the ones who brought a child into the world and raised them.</p><p>Maybe deep down he'd always wanted just one party, wanted to even just go to one. Because while they seemed silly and unnecessary to him, they also looked like a lot of fun. Tobio wouldn't mind experiencing one.</p><p>"Well guess what Kageyama-kun, I turned twelve in June. That means I'm older than you for reals too!"</p><p>"You're lying," Kageyama said bluntly, "you're not older than nine."</p><p>Hinata puffed his cheeks out and crossed his arms, pouting, "Just because I'm short doesn't mean I'm young."</p><p>"Fine, whatever. You still can't tell me what to do." Kageyama grumbled.</p><p>Hinata rolled his eyes, "Okay, well, I'm the big brother and I take care of you. This is our house," he hit the jungle gym for emphasis, "and it's super cold out so we have to gather food and huddle together for the winter."</p><p>"What food?"</p><p>"I have to find some. Stay here, I'll return with food." Hinata didn't even bother running down the stairs, he just jumped from the top and then jumped again without using the ladder down.</p><p>Kageyama watched Hinata run over to a woman and start talking to her. Hinata turned and pointed to Kageyama who instinctively lowered himself further so only his eyes popped out over the side of the jungle gym.</p><p>She handed Hinata something and the smaller boy came racing back over towards him. "Look Kageyama, we have food now!" Hinata exclaimed when he climbed back onto the jungle gym, holding up two granola bars triumphantly and handed one to Kageyama.</p><p>"Was that your mom?"</p><p>"I found these myself." Hinata insisted.</p><p>Kageyama almost rolled his eyes at the other boy's childishness but took the granola bar anyway. When they were finished Hinata shoved his wrapper into his pocket and so Tobio did the same.</p><p>"Let's play a new game now. Tag!" and the orange haired boy took off running and before Kageyama could overthink it, he started running in that direction after him.</p><p>He'd never played with another kid before.</p><p>He'd never played tag before.</p><p>He'd never had so much fun before.</p><p>"You're slow." Hinata taunted encouraging Kageyama to run faster, but the smaller boy was slick. He ducked under Tobio's arms and made him run around in circles to catch him.</p><p>Kageyama didn't know how long they played, but they didn't stop until Hinata's mother called him over. He went running off to her and Kageyama watched them talk before they both walked over to him. "Hey, Kageyama, is your mother around?" Hinata's mom asked.</p><p>"Yeah." Tobio lied, not wanting to explain to a stranger that he'd run away. "She's grocery shopping and she told me to wait here until she was done."</p><p>"Oh, okay." Hinata's mother looked relieved.</p><p>"Um… do you know what time it is?"</p><p>"Well it's nearly six. You two have been out here playing all day."</p><p>Tobio nodded, feeling dread in his stomach. He was supposed to be home before his father got home. His mother was much easier to handle. "Okay. I better go see if mama's almost done. Um… thank you for spending time with me." Tobio bowed slightly at the two of them.</p><p>"No problem." Hinata smiled, "Maybe we'll run into each other again."</p><p>"Maybe…"</p><p>He didn't want to admit it, but Kageyama hoped so. He waved to them as they left and then started the walk back home. His feet were cold and it would get dark in an hour or two so he better hurry.</p><p>Why did this keep happening to him?</p><p>Kageyama was walking so fast he wasn't watching where he was going, so he didn't see the crack until it was too late. He felt it the moment his toe hit the slight fissure in the concrete. He was falling and his toe was on fire.</p><p>Of course this would happen. Things never went well for him.</p><p>Kageyama threw his hands out to catch himself but still managed to scrape his nose and chin on the ground. Thankfully his head didn't hit the concrete though, that would've been the worst case scenario and a complete disaster.</p><p>When he saw the blood from the scrapes on his hands and saw blood dripping onto them from somewhere on his face he instantly felt tears start running down his face.</p><p>God the cuts hurt so bad, burned like fire just like his face and his toe was now a dull throb in the back of his head.</p><p>No one came to help him, however. They just stared for a moment before hurrying on, or not even looking at him at all.</p><p>He wished he had a phone right now too. He needed to convince his parents to get him one.</p><p>
  <em>If you did what they said and not left your house like an idiot you wouldn't need a phone.</em>
</p><p>Kageyama ignored that meaner part of him and let out a small sob. He glanced around, hoping someone would help him, but they didn't. And he didn't see anyone he recognized either.</p><p>With nothing else he could do, Kageyama stood up on his own shaky legs, blood running down his knees and scrapes burning his elbows, blood still dripping down his face.</p><p>With the back of his hand he wiped his hand across his nose and brought away more blood.</p><p>Tobio instantly panicked. Why was their blood in his nose? Did the hit damage his nose in some way? What if he never smelled again. He heard smell affected taste too. What if he could never taste again? Was this permanent? His nose had never bled before, what if it just kept bleeding until he died?</p><p>He let out another small sob at the thought, and tried to wipe the blood away but every time he put his hand back there was more blood to wipe away.</p><p>Kageyama's thoughts and distress were interrupted by a familiar, "Tobio-chan?"</p><p>Tobio knew only one person called him that and he desperately wanted to tell him to go away but instead he did something far more drastic. He turned and flung himself on to Oikawa, instantly getting his shirt bloody.</p><p>"Oh my word ew. Tobio-chan is that blood?"</p><p>"Oikawa-san…"</p><p>"Just… ugh, well your hoodie is already bloody so just use that and plug your nose."</p><p>"But then how will I breathe?"</p><p>"Your mouth you moron."</p><p>Tobio pulled away slightly to be able to plug his nose with his hoodie, but with the other hand he still gripped on to Oikawa'a shirt. "Where's your mom?" Oikawa asked.</p><p>"I ran away. Or I mean… I snuck out."</p><p>Oikawa didn't say anything and Kageyama pulled away to look up at his expression. Oikawa was smirking, "Getting pretty rebellious, aren't we Tobio-chan?"</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>"How about no." Oikawa's smirk widened and he was about to say something else but was cut off by Iwaizumi who snuck up and smacked him on the back.</p><p>"What the fuck did you do this time, Shittykawa." Iwaizumi bit out.</p><p>"Don't look at me. I found him like this."</p><p>"Found who like…" Iwaizumi's gaze turned to Tobio who had smears of blood over his clothes, including his pants which were clearly dotted with blood around his knees. "… well shit."</p><p>"Yeah… shit." Kageyama grumbled.</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes, "And you say I'm the bad influence. You're teaching Tobio-chan all kinds of words."</p><p>Iwaizumi flipped Oikawa off and bent down slightly so he was at Kageyama's height. "What happened?" he asked.</p><p>"I tripped and fell."</p><p>"Where are your shoes?" Oikawa asked, noticing that Tobio once again had shoeless feet.</p><p>"I forgot them."</p><p>Iwaizumi sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Alright," he said after a moment of thinking, "we'll go to my house. My dad isn't home right now anyway and it's close."</p><p>Kageyama nodded in understanding and turned to leave when he felt something wrap around his waist and lift him up, making his heart leap into his throat.</p><p>"Is he heavy, Iwa-chan?"</p><p>Iwaizumi ignored Oikawa and said to Tobio, "You shouldn't be walking around without shoes all the time, Kageyama. Especially since it's winter now, and you're fucking freezing."</p><p>"I can walk myself."</p><p>Did he really want to though? "No. I'm carrying you, it's not even that far, remember?" Iwaizumi adjusted Kageyama until they were both comfortable, with Tobio's arms wrapped around Iwaizumi's neck and his head resting on the other boy's shoulder. His elbows, knees, and chin still felt like they were on fire, and burning against him, but they didn't hurt as much as they first had. Now he could feel the pain numbing with each passing moment.</p><p>Oikawa making funny faces when Iwaizumi talked definitely wasn't part of why the pain faded to the back of his mind.</p><p>"Shittykawa, are you making fun of me? I can feel Kageyama laughing." Iwaizumi growled.</p><p>"Iwa-chan of course not. I'd never do something like that ever~."</p><p>Iwaizumi grumbled about how he definitely would and Oikawa made funny faces for those grumbles too. Tobio made sure not to laugh this time.</p><p>Maybe he fell asleep at one point during the walk because one moment they were walking and the next he opened his eyes when hearing a door open.</p><p>Kageyama was disoriented for a moment, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the remaining drowsiness he had. He felt someone taking off his socks and then setting him down on the floor.</p><p>When Iwaizumi's face entered his vision he finally remembered where he was and what was happening to him.</p><p>Kageyama took a quick glance around and noticed that the house was a lot cleaner than Oikawa's, but it was also a little smaller, and didn't appear to have a second story.</p><p>Iwaizumi guided Tobio into the bathroom, where he rolled up Tobio's sweat pants and cleaned his scrapes, before putting bandaids over them. His nose had stopped bleeding a while ago and he could still smell, so it must not have been that big an injury. That helped calm him down a bit.</p><p>"Hey, Kageyama." Iwaizumi started.</p><p>Tobio shot his head up to look at Iwaizumi, "I'm gonna get you some of my clothes to wear so you can wash your bloody ones."</p><p>"Oh yeah…" Kageyama had forgotten about his bloody clothes.</p><p>"When your parents come I doubt they'd like to find you looking like you've murdered someone."</p><p>Kageyama agreed that would not be good and waited in the bathroom for Iwaizumi to grab him some clothes.</p><p>He was going to be in so much trouble when he got home. He couldn't even imagine what his parents would be like. This was the worst thing he'd ever done because it was intentionally rebellious. Tobio didn't know why he was surprised, he knew he would get caught, he knew he shouldn't have snuck out the moment he'd done it. This was a complete disaster.</p><p>But admittedly he'd had a good day. Despite falling and getting so many scrapes and bruises, Kageyama enjoyed the day. It had been the best day of his winter break by far, and considering how he'd snuck out it would be the last good day of his winter break.</p><p>Kageyama sighed and only looked up from his lap when Iwaizumi set the clothes down beside him then closed the bathroom door when he left.</p><p>Kageyama was glad to see a long-sleeved sweatshirt and some shorts he could tighten with the string. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to awkwardly explain why he couldn't wear short sleeves. That would've been difficult to lie about. He also wasn't sure if Iwaizumi and Oikawa had written on his arms lately because he'd sworn off from reading their conversation. But if they had that would be even worse.</p><p>He stripped off his dirty clothes quickly and then when he was changed into Iwaizumi's large sweatshirt that smelled like his shampoo, picked up his bloodied clothes and went out.</p><p>He peered around the corner to the front of the house and into the living room where Iwaizumi and Oikawa were lazily spread out on the couch.</p><p>Kageyama lurked in the corner and just watched them for a moment, feeling that horrible urge to want to join them once again. To want to cuddle in between them and just be apart of their soulmate bond. He'd decided not to talk to them again, and in fact this was the first time they'd been together in month, the first time they'd even had a proper conversation. And Kageyama couldn't ruin his resolution of not talking to them by going back to his old ways now. Not because of this one incident. Not when he'd held out for so long.</p><p>Tobio took a deep breath and walked into the living room, telling himself to hold strong.</p><p>"Um… I'm done."</p><p>Iwaizumi sat up from the couch and looked at him before giving him a small smile, "Alright, Kageyama, I'll take those and put them in the wash, you can go sit down."</p><p>Holding himself back from asking to help, he nodded and sat on the couch with Oikawa, as far back as he could manage. "I don't bite Tobio-chan." Oikawa taunted after Iwaizumi left, smirking.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>Oikawa hummed at his response with that grin still on his face, "Don't tell me you're still butthurt I called you out for lying to your parents."</p><p>"No! That's not it!" Kageyama protested immediately.</p><p>"Then why've you been avoiding me? And not just me, Iwaizumi."</p><p>"I thought you didn't like me, shouldn't you be happy?"</p><p>Oikawa fell silent for a moment and crawled over a little closer before saying, "You're cuter without a bunch of blood on your face."</p><p>If Oikawa was good at something other than playing volleyball and being an asshole it was dodging questions. He noticed Oikawa also had a new shirt on when he got closer.</p><p>Kageyama scowled and said, "You'd be cute too if you weren't such an asshole all the time."</p><p>Some sadistic part of him enjoyed Oikawa's mouth dropping open. The other part of him noticed his soulmate's beautiful, smooth, pink lips and the first part punched that second part.</p><p>Kageyama was left with his heart racing anyway, and he felt his face heat up at his horrible thoughts. He didn't know why he zeroed in on Oikawa's lips anyway. Especially during a conversation like this.</p><p>They were interrupted then, by Iwaizumi coming back in the room, "You know your parents number right?" he asked.</p><p>"Yes." Kageyama nodded and figured he should probably use his mother's number. He couldn't imagine calling his father right now. Tobio took Iwaizumi's offered phone and dialed the number.</p><p>Four rings later he heard his mother's voice. It sounded even more tired than usual and instantly Kageyama's guilt doubled. Since he wasn't there to deal with his father, he knew his mother was dealing with him. "Mama…" silence on the other end.</p><p>"Tobio. Where are you?"</p><p>"I'm at one of my classmates houses. He's my… I mean, he used to be my teammate."</p><p>He saw Iwaizumi raise and eyebrow at that but Kageyama kept plowing on anyway , "Can you come pick me up?"</p><p>"Your father isn't happy." Is what she said instead of answering his question.</p><p>He knew they were both thinking the same thing. That if his father couldn't control his temper he couldn't know where Tobio was. Kageyama would be so embarrassed if Iwaizumi and Oikawa caught his father acting like that. He knew deep down his mother would be embarrassed too. "What's the address?" She asked softly.</p><p>Iwaizumi told him when prompted and he relayed the information to his mother. "I'll be there in ten minutes. Be ready to leave."</p><p>When he hung up the phone he turned to Iwaizumi, "What about my clothes?"</p><p>"We'll just return each other's clothes when school starts back up, okay? Let's not worry about it."</p><p>Kageyama nodded and they sat there for a few minutes before Oikawa snatched Iwaizumi's phone. "Hey, what are you doing?"</p><p>Tobio was a little annoyed too. He'd been enjoying the silence.</p><p>"Well I don't have a phone." Oikawa said as if that answered everything.</p><p>"And what do you need my damn phone for?"</p><p>"I'm going to make you confess to a girl."</p><p>"I don't have any girls in my phone except my mom. You gonna send a confession to my mom?"</p><p>"Then I guess one of our teammates is going to get a heartfelt confession from you~."</p><p>Iwaizumi glared and Oikawa caved, admitting, "Fine, I'm looking for music but your taste is trash."</p><p>"You're trash!"</p><p>"Rude Iwa-chan." Oikawa pouted and kept scrolling. Iwaizumi went to say something else but Oikawa cut him off, "Ooo, this is actually a good one."</p><p>"You suck."</p><p>Oikawa hit the song anyway and blasted the phones speakers up to one hundred percent.</p><p>"This is the trashiest song I have."</p><p>"Oh shut up. It's good."</p><p>It took Tobio's mother an hour to actually appear at the door and by that time Oikawa had dragged them both into a dance battle somehow.</p><p>Iwaizumi turned off the music and went to open the door, Tobio following closely behind him.</p><p>His mother stood in the doorway and she gave Kageyama a small smile. "Let's go home, Tobio. But thank the nice boys that helped you."</p><p>Kageyama turned and bowed, "Thank you for helping me!"</p><p>"It was no problem." Iwaizumi said and smiled at them. Oikawa was obviously scrutinizing his mother in the background. Kageyama wished he could've said more but before he could even think of what to say his mother grabbed his arm and dragged him off towards the car.</p><p>Kageyama couldn't see his mother's face but just the grip on his arm told him she was upset.</p><p>Tobio couldn't remember a day where he'd had so much fun like this, but he knew that fun would cost him a lot. Kageyama wasn't sure he cared at this point.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This would've been out sooner, but the first version of this chapter I despised so I had to rewrite the entire thing XD anyway, here we have minimal parent interaction, saviors Oikawa and Iwaizumi (Kinda) and adorable baby Hinata (I love him). Oh yeah, and I was editing this in the middle of my zoom class (oop-) but it's probably fine. Comments very much appreciated ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The drive back home was the longest drive of his entire life. His mother didn't speak to him, she didn't look at him, she didn't berate him, she didn't tell him to apologize, she just drove.</p><p>Kageyama almost found peace in driving through the dark roads late at night, staring out the window at mesmerizing traffic lights. He couldn't relax though when he could see his mother's stony face in the rearview mirror.</p><p>He and his mother just drove and finally they came up to their house and his mother parked the car in the driveway and turned off the engine. Other than that, she didn't move and neither did Tobio. He sensed she had something to say to him.</p><p>Finally, the air filled with his mom's tiny voice, "Tobio," he had to strain his ears hard to hear what she was saying, "please, just do what we say." Her voice broke at the end of her sentence but he didn't know why. "Please just do what he says. <em>Please</em>. I know it's hard, I know you just…" she paused as if trying to figure something out before continuing, "but you can't. Stop, okay. Stop. No more running off, or staying out late or…" She cut herself off, turning to look at him and because of the glow of the porch lights he could see her tears.</p><p>And he didn't understand. He didn't think he'd ever seen his mother cry. She never cried. His father cried more often than she did.</p><p>"Yes, mama." He said. He wasn't sure what else to say. Had Tobio been hurting her? He didn't even think that when he wasn't home his father would've yelled at her. But it made sense he would. He remembered she would make herself scarce when he was angry and wondered how many times she'd stopped herself from flinching when he screamed. He just never knew.</p><p>He never knew she was scared of him too.</p><p>His mother nodded at his answer and opened her car door so Tobio did the same. When they got to the front door, his mother had no more tears. Her face was as he'd always remembered. Carefully polite and mostly unchanging.</p><p>Would he be like her? If he listened to his father, would he turn out like she did? Would he be cold and polite to his children, would he hide his emotions behind a wall. "Mama," he said before she opened the door. She turned to him. "What happened to your soulmate?" he asked.</p><p>"I left her." His mother said. "For your father." And she opened the door.</p><p>Tobio almost choked when she told him her answer.</p><p>From that moment, he vowed not to be like her.</p><p>But then again wasn't he already becoming her? He hid his emotions too, he was abandoning his soulmates too. He was already on his way to turning into her. And suddenly he wanted to know more about her life from before him, before even his father. She never told him what her life was like, he'd never even thought to ask.</p><p>When they walked into the living room, his father was nowhere in sight. He didn't come pounding down the stairs when he closed the door either. "Your father's sleeping. I told him I would talk to you."</p><p>She took off her shoes and went into the kitchen, "Do you want anything?"</p><p>"I can get it mama." He said, waving her off several times before she actually went to bed, her expression blank like always. "Thank you, mama." He knew she couldn't hear him, but he figured he'd say it anyway.</p><p>He knew this didn't change anything between them, he knew she'd still never keep his secrets, knew she'd always end up agreeing with his father. But for the first time, he believed he may have understood a little bit of why she did that. It was the same reason he'd had for obeying his father all these years. Fear.</p><p>Kageyama warmed up his own food, careful not to let the microwave go off, and ate as quickly as possible before padding up to his room.</p><p>He twisted the door handle before shutting it and letting go, a trick he'd somehow always known. He didn't remember learning it, he just knew.</p><p>Now that he was safely alone in his room, Tobio let out a sigh of relief and crawled into bed. He should brush his teeth, and he should shower, but that might wake his father up and while his mother had placated him, Kageyama still knew not to wake him.</p><p>Tobio didn't even bother changing into his pajama's, just lied down in bed, swimming in Iwaizumi's sweatshirt, remembering everything that had happened tonight, everything that had happened in the months he'd known them. He had to remind himself not to get involved. His soulmates didn't want him. He didn't blame them for that. Sometimes Kageyama didn't even want himself. Like right now as he remembered the tears in his mother's eyes, guilt twisting his stomach painfully.</p><p>Tobio took a deep breath and let it out, rolling over to try and get some sleep.</p><p>But it was one of those nights.</p><p>He kept waking up feeling as though he hadn't slept, his heart racing and he felt as though he were awake all night long even though the hours passed far too quickly for him to be completely conscious.</p><p>When he decided to roll out of bed at eight o'clock his mother was already downstairs, cleaning as she always did. His breakfast was on the table, and despite himself he wanted to talk with her. He didn't really have anyone else besides her. He didn't have any real friends to talk to all the time, and his father would blow things out of proportion and lecture him.</p><p>"Mama…"</p><p>"Yes, dear."</p><p>"About last night, about what you said…" Kageyama paused, treading carefully as he could feel his mom's eyes snap up on him. "Are you happy?" was she happy here? Was he happy? Was his father happy? When was the last time he'd been happy in his home, with his parents? When was the last family dinner that was fun? Not quiet, not ending with an argument, but fun?</p><p>His mother sighed and arched her back out when she stood up from scrubbing the floors. "Yes, I'm very happy." She said.</p><p>Kageyama bit his lip, "Mama you never leave the house. And you don't have any friends." He stated bluntly, knowing she wouldn't get mad at him. He knew she never got mad at him. He saw the differences between her and his father. They weren't necessarily good differences, but they made her easier to talk to. He knew she wasn't going to start yelling at him and insulting him as his father seemed to be doing more and more lately.</p><p>"I'm aware."</p><p>"You clean all day, and you're here all by yourself. Don't you get lonely?"</p><p>His mother gave him a polite smile, "No. I don't get lonely."</p><p>"But mama, you—"</p><p>"Kageyama!"</p><p>He flinched from her sharp tone and quieted when she leveled him with one of her practical stares, "If I were unhappy, I wouldn't be here."</p><p>He knew that wasn't true. He knew there was a million other reasons for her to stay. She was scared, maybe she was insecure, maybe she didn't know if she could take him with her if she left. Maybe she just didn't care about trying to better herself anymore.</p><p>Maybe they'd all just gotten used to it.</p><p>"I know what you're thinking, Tobio." He didn't doubt her. "Your father is not a monster. He is not the evil man you see him as."</p><p>That wasn't true. He loved his father.</p><p>But doubts stirred in his heart.</p><p>"He is a person as much as you and I. A much different person, perhaps, but I will not have you thinking such thoughts. With that said… would you prefer I left?"</p><p>Tobio still immediately shook his head. He would have no one if his mom left, she would not be there to use her logic to calm his father's emotions, she would not be there to stop him from yelling, she would not be there for him to call her. She would not be there to make his meals or his bed, she would not be there to clean the house, do his laundry. She would not be there.</p><p>And as much as he didn't want to admit it, they would not be able to live without his father either. He brought in money, he brought structure.</p><p>Kageyama wanted to leave them both, but at the same time he realized he would never want that to happen. He would never want anything to happen to either of his parents. He <em>needed </em>them, and beyond that he wanted them. They were all he'd ever known. This was the only home, the only family he'd ever known. And it was comfortable.</p><p>His mother went back to scrubbing the floor and he didn't speak to her for the rest of the day. His mother's response had shaken him, forced him to think.</p><p>What if his parents left him?</p><p>…</p><p>Tobio was glad when school started back up, no more long boring days at home, and he didn't have to see his mother nor his father so much. He didn't want to admit it, but he got sick of their faces.</p><p>He went back to class and volleyball practice. Life was always much better with school involved.</p><p>And as January and February flew by graduation was suddenly approaching way too quickly. He wasn't ready for Oikawa and Iwaizumi to graduate, though they seemed pretty excited about it.</p><p>Of course they were though. Kageyama shouldn't even be feeling this way. He shouldn't want them to stay, he should be happy they were leaving. That would make it so much easier to ignore them. He didn't feel happy though, and he didn't want to pretend to either.</p><p>"Why so down, Tobio-chan?" Oikawa came over, sitting beside him and poked his cheek, pouting a little. Kageyama turned and looked at him silently for a long time.</p><p>"No reason." Kageyama finally mumbled.</p><p>"Good, because guess what?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Guess!" Oikawa smirked and poked his cheek again.</p><p>"You're being a shithead again." He growled and smacked Oikawa's hand away.</p><p>"No, silly~. Maybe I shouldn't tell you since you were so mean."</p><p>Tobio just kept glaring at Oikawa and didn't offer any sort of apology.</p><p>"Fine." Oikawa rolled his eyes. "It's Kunimi-chan's birthday today. And he's invited everyone on the volleyball team to his party. I'm supposed to make an announcement to the team about it after practice since apparently he can't even be bothered to invite people to his own party."</p><p>"Are you sure I'm invited?"</p><p>"Well you're part of the team, aren't you?"</p><p>"I guess so…" Kageyama murmured. "I don't think I can go though, I'm supposed to go home right after practice."</p><p>"Aww, come on. You really can't come even for just an hour."</p><p>No he couldn't. After last week's incident he knew he was walking on thin ice. But at the same time he'd never been to a party. He really wanted to go.</p><p>"Come on! We can play truth or dare, and spin the bottle." Oikawa gave him and innocent look. "It'll be fun."</p><p>Tobio didn't know what any of those games were, and they sounded kind of dumb to him, but he nodded anyway. "Okay Oikawa-san. I'll go."</p><p>"That's great! The party goes till six. You think you can handle that?"</p><p>"Why wouldn't I be able to?"</p><p>"Cus you're a little crybaby."</p><p>Kageyama turned and shoved Oikawa off the bench. "Eat shit."</p><p>"Iwa-chan's teaching you too much!"</p><p>Tobio stomped off, fuming. He just always had to do that, didn't he? Make a dig at Kageyama, try to piss him off. He didn't understand what Oikawa's problem with him was, and he knew he wasn't going to get an answer out of him.</p><p>Suddenly he wanted his pillow he could chuck across the room and slam into the walls and floor.</p><p>One good thing from Oikawa's teasing was he started practice feeling energized from his anger. On the other hand he also felt a little queasy from deciding to go to the birthday party. He'd escaped his father's wrath two months ago for running away and he didn't think his mother was going to be able to hold him off again.</p><p>But he'd been perfectly willing to face his father's anger that day. So why not this time? He'd never even been to a birthday part before. It would be worth it.</p><p>That was what he told himself anyway.</p><p>Deep down he knew this was selfish and irresponsible. And even deeper he kind of wanted to be selfish and irresponsible.</p><p>After practice Oikawa gathered everyone up in a large group, "You're probably all wondering why I've called you here today." He said.</p><p>"Out with it!" Iwaizumi growled.</p><p>Oikawa scrunched his nose in distaste and pouted, "Rude Iwa-chan!" He stuck out his tongue. "But anyway. The reason I've called you here is to inform you that it is Kunimi-chan's birthday, as you all are aware, and this is your official threat to attend his birthday party."</p><p>"You mean invitation?"</p><p>"No. I mean threat. You better come or else you won't get cake."</p><p>"What kind of cake?" someone called from the back and a group of boys let out a snicker.</p><p>"Stop being horny." Oikawa demanded. "There are children here."</p><p>Iwaizumi rolled his eyes at Oikawa's attempt to be responsible and Tobio didn't know what was happening at all anymore. He just wanted to go to the party.</p><p>"Okay, everyone follow Kunimi-chan~!"</p><p>For some reason Kunimi looked dead inside to Kageyama, but then again, he'd have that look too if he was constantly talking to Oikawa.</p><p>They all followed Kunimi, who's house was basically right across the street from the middle school. It just now occurred to Kageyama he didn't know where any of his classmates lived, and none but Oikawa knew where he lived.</p><p>Kunimi's house was large. So big Kageyama couldn't comprehend it. He had an upstairs and a basement and everything was completely open on the main floor. The only wall besides the four making it stand was a small room where he assumed a bathroom was.</p><p>Maybe it wasn't so huge, but it felt big with all the open space. He could see everything. He could see the kitchen and the living room from the same spot. It was amazing to say the least.</p><p>When he looked to the kitchen he saw a woman he assumed to be Kunimi's mother. Unlike her son, however, she gave them a big smile when they all clambered inside her house. "We're so glad you could make it!"</p><p>Kageyama didn't mean to, but he sort of tuned out everything she was saying and focused on her facial expressions. She was so expressive, her face changed in mere seconds with different degrees of excitement and joy. He couldn't figure out how she was so happy, or why for that matter. Did people not often come to Kunimi's parties?</p><p>Immediately after thinking it, he mentally slapped himself. That wasn't a nice thing to think.</p><p>After his mother's introduction everyone spread out over the house. There were multiple things to do. Board games, a lot of guys were eating the food, and Oikawa was dragging people over to karaoke so Tobio made sure to stay clear of him.</p><p>He wasn't really sure what to do, but some guys were not in their right minds. There was a backflip competition in the backyard, though no one had managed a backflip and they all landed on their backs.</p><p>It looked painful to Kageyama, even worse than karaoke. "Tobio-chan~. You look lonely, you can't be lonely at parties."</p><p>Great, he shouldn't have thought about karaoke.</p><p>The open floor plan that Kageyama had loved earlier he now hated because there was nowhere to run and hide. "I don't sing." He'd never sang. He didn't listen to music either. He didn't know any songs.</p><p>"It's okay, you're supposed to be bad."</p><p>Kageyama didn't think Oikawa was bad.</p><p>The song that played was very upbeat and Kageyama had never even heard of it before.</p><p>He sung that song to the best of his abilities, which still was still extremely horrible, but then Oikawa made him sing three more after that and he started getting annoyed.</p><p>"How are you still singing?"</p><p>"I've got a good voice." Oikawa said triumphantly.</p><p>"He's got a lot of practice running his mouth all the time." Iwaizumi grinned.</p><p>"You're mean!" Oikawa put the mic down and ran over to jump on top of Iwaizumi.</p><p>"Shittykawa you're gonna break my—"</p><p>He didn't get to finish because Oikawa threw himself at Iwaizumi and the other boy's main focus was keeping them both upright.</p><p>"You're the one who's always bragging about his big muscles."</p><p>"No I'm not."</p><p>Kageyama never heard Iwaizumi bragging about his muscles, so it was probably more likely Oikawa was lying.</p><p>Iwaizumi still hugged Oikawa back and he saw Iwaizumi's arms tighten for a moment before pulling away. "Someone's in love~." One boy teased.</p><p>"If you had taste you would be too." Oikawa said.</p><p>No one knew if he was talking about himself or Iwaizumi.</p><p>At that declaration, Kageyama almost said, 'I guess I have good taste', but clamped his mouth shut at the last moment and nearly died from his almost mistake.</p><p>"Speaking of love, we should play 7 minutes in heaven." One boy said, wiggling his eyebrows and everyone else groaned.</p><p>Kageyama had no idea what that game was.</p><p>"I love that game!" Oikawa exclaimed.</p><p>"I thought you liked me," Iwaizumi elbowed Oikawa's ribs playfully.</p><p>"I do! But I also like this game!"</p><p>"I guess as long as you don't end up kissing a creep."</p><p>Of course all the boys in the room immediately took offense to that, and over half didn't even seem to want to play.</p><p>But as always, Oikawa managed to rope everyone into it eventually. They decided the two chosen people would go into the bathroom. They also decided to all go down stairs into the basement, because apparently it was 'scarier' down there. Kageyama didn't know why that mattered though.</p><p>"Alright, Iwa-chan, why don't you pick two people out of the bowl first." Oikawa said, holding the bowl out.</p><p>Iwaizumi shrugged and picked two people at random out of the bowl of names they'd created. "Kunimi and Kindaichi." He read and an exclamation of 'ooo's' filled the room which just seemed to make the two first years embarrassed.</p><p>They went into the bathroom and the door was locked behind them and he waited out with the rest of the group. He decided that this was an extremely boring game. Then, after seven minutes, the door was unlocked and they both came out.</p><p>"Did you kiss~."</p><p>"No." Kunimi said simply and Oikawa pouted for a moment before selecting two more names himself.</p><p>"Looks like it's me and… Tobio-chan." The same guffaws and teasing from earlier came directed at him and Oikawa now and suddenly he understood why Kunimi and Kindaichi had been so embarrassed.</p><p>Glancing from his lap up to Oikawa he saw the other boy get up without complaint and so he followed him into the bathroom, and the door shut.</p><p>He heard a click.</p><p>"I thought you didn't like kissing." Kageyama blurted out as soon as they were left alone, remembering that Oikawa and Iwaizumi had never even kissed before.</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes, "I don't really. But this is a game of drama. You never know what's going to happen to two people when playing 7 minutes. They might find out that they've secretly liked each other for years.</p><p>The bright light was blinding due to the white tiles and countertops and when Oikawa leaned against the wall he could've almost looked like an angel. "Why? Hoping to get a kiss Tobio-chan?" Oikawa teased lightly.</p><p>"No!" maybe.</p><p>Oikawa stared at him and then shuffled a little closer, "Speaking of discoveries Tobio-chan, I have something to ask you."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Why do you always wear long-sleeves?"</p><p>"I don't want to answer that."</p><p>"No one's hurting you right?" Oikawa pressed and moved closer until he was standing right in front of Kageyama, towering over him.</p><p>"No." Kageyama shook his head. He didn't even understand what Oikawa meant. Why was he asking him this? Why did he even care? Why was it so important?</p><p>"Can I see then?" Tobio instantly assumed he meant his arms and when he saw Oikawa slowly reaching for his arm that only confirmed it. It was as if he thought Kageyama were a scared animal who would bolt at any moment.</p><p>It wasn't as if he'd be able to leave anyway.</p><p>Tobio almost let him do it, because what was the worse that could happen? He'd get rejected? His parents would find out? His father would yell at him again?</p><p>That wasn't anything new.</p><p>But at the last moment he remembered why he couldn't let them see. Not Oikawa. And not Iwaizumi.</p><p>He was scared. He was afraid of rejection, he was afraid of his father's anger, afraid of the dark, afraid of tiny spaces, so afraid. So he took a step back and yanked his arm close. "You can't." Kageyama murmured.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because of my soulmate!" He was careful to keep the noun singular.</p><p>Oikawa stared at him for a long moment before he asked carefully, "You don't have one?"</p><p>Kageyama shook his head and despised the look of pity Oikawa gave him. Not having a soulmate was one of the greatest tragedies a person could experience. People without soulmates were seen as unwanted, as someone incapable of being loved. Some people bullied the soulmateless, and others pitied them.</p><p>And Oikawa was only giving him that look of pity because of yet another lie. Not because of something real. "I'm sorry," Oikawa said at last.</p><p>Kageyama shrugged and glanced up then down from the floor to Oikawa's face. He wasn't sure what to say, but figured he had to say something. "Um… Oikawa-san. Why are you so concerned with my family?"</p><p>Oikawa took a deep breath and sighed tiredly before answering, "Well it's just that you can never be too careful. I want to make sure you're not being hurt or… abused or anything." Oikawa seemed hesitant to say the last part.</p><p>Maybe he thought Tobio would be offended (not that he'd ever cared about that before)</p><p>He had no need to worry though because Kageyama almost could've laughed at his response. How could Oikawa even think he was being abused? Even consider it? He'd never been hit, he didn't walk around with bruises everywhere, his parents didn't threaten him.</p><p>"Oikawa-san… where would you get that idea?"</p><p>"I just… never mind. Just forget it." Oikawa waved the subject off quickly, obviously just as uncomfortable with the conversation as Kageyama was.</p><p>"Okay," and as soon as he uttered the word the door to the bathroom unlocked and opened to let them rejoin the rest of the group.</p><p>"Did you kiss?" Iwaizumi asked when they came back in view.</p><p>"Yes we did. Tobio-chan's so cute I couldn't help it." Oikawa sang, plopping down next to Iwaizumi.</p><p>"Ugh, so his first kiss was with a creep?"</p><p>"Why am I the creep now?" Oikawa pouted. Iwaizumi shrugged. "Well fine, Iwa-chan, I guess you caught me. We didn't kiss."</p><p>"Then what'd you do?"</p><p>"Talk."</p><p>"About what?" Iwaizumi's eyes narrowed.</p><p>Oikawa only giggled and dodged the question, "You're so protective of him, Iwa-chan. Loosen up a little bit, I didn't do anything mean."</p><p>Iwaizumi sent a glance up at Kageyama, who shook his head. For once Oikawa actually hadn't done anything mean.</p><p>The rest of the party continued over the next hour, but soon it was time for everyone to go home for the night.</p><p>Now came the consequences of his adventure.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't exactly in a hurry to get home, but the longer he was out the worse it would be, he knew that. And after what happened a couple months ago, this act of rebellion was even worse. He was fairly sure his father was still angry at him for running away. Who knew what he would do now that Tobio was coming home late. He didn't even have a good excuse.</p><p>Oikawa and Iwaizumi offered to walk him home but he denied adamantly. He didn't want them to possibly hear his father going off and yelling at him.</p><p>As he trotted down the sidewalk, the sun went down and it started getting colder. Now that it was march the weather had begun to warm up, but it wouldn't be until the end of the month that people brought out their short sleeves. He still had half a month to look normal in his long sleeves.</p><p>He saw his house in the distance and for some reason it felt like the temperature dropped several degrees. Maybe because he knew what was waiting.</p><p>When he got to the front door, all he could do was take a deep breath and open it, therefore accepting the consequences of his actions.</p><p>Kageyama immediately assessed the room for people. Was his father upstairs? In the dining room? Where was his mother? Tobio didn't see him in the living room, and after a minute of listening he could hear his mother clambering around in the kitchen, so maybe he was in the dining room waiting for dinner. It was around that time anyway.</p><p>But when he went into the dining room, his father wasn't there either, so he went into the kitchen to ask his mother. "Mama?"</p><p>"Oh god!" his mother dropped the knife she was holding and if she hadn't moved her foot quickly enough who knew what would've happened. She moved in time though, and turned to him, heaving a heavy sigh.</p><p>She'd looked so… uncomposed just now. It was strange. "Tobio, don't scare me! And what are you wearing! Your father has guests coming over tonight, that's why he's late. Now hurry upstairs and get ready, why are you still in your school uniform!"</p><p>"Guests?"</p><p>"Yes, guests! And this house is a complete mess and Tobio just go change <em>please</em>." She actually sounded frantic.</p><p>So Kageyama nodded and hurried off, not sure what to think of his mother's attitude just now. She only got like that when she was incredibly stressed. Just how important were these guests?</p><p>Kageyama showered as quickly as he could and dried his hair before slipping on some clothes. They weren't fancy or anything, but they were dressier than what he would normally wear to dinner.</p><p>Even if he sat there and thought all night he wouldn't be able to remember the last time they'd had company over.</p><p>Tobio had just finished sliding on his jacket when he heard the front door open and loud voices fill the normally dead silent place he lived in.</p><p>Kageyama had always been shy when it came to new people, which was why he just crept down the stairs without making a noise and peered around the wall to get a view of the doorway instead of going out and making his appearance known.</p><p>He saw a man and a woman in the doorway. They had dark hair and blue eyes, that looked a lot like his. But there dark hair had gray patches, and their faces were crinkled around the eyes and mouth especially. They were certainly older than even his mother and father.</p><p>Tobio was content to watch them from his perch on the stairs but then his mother came from the opposite side of the stairs from the kitchen and saw him sitting at the top of the stairwell. "What are you doing up there Tobio, come down," his mother was back to her composed and polite self, "come meet your grandparents."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I feel like this isn't my best chapter, but it's as good as it's gonna get. I have about as much idea as you guys about what's gonna happen next chapter (close to zero) but yeah... we are going to learn more and more about Kageyama's parents! Anyway, hope you liked this chapter, comments appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tobio noticed his father's sour expression the moment they all sat down to eat. Extra chairs had been added to the table so that his grandparents could sit down, and the extra addition made everything more cramped. Not in the good way either, in the suffocating, pressuring way. He shifted slightly in his seat, wanting to get up and bolt from the table and the silence blanketing over all of them. He'd never met these people in his life, and now all they did was sit and eat, and they didn't even say anything to anyone.</p><p>It was like a normal family dinner, but worse.</p><p>Finally, his father broke the suffocating silence, "You aren't going to say anything?" he asked.</p><p>The old woman looked up from the table first. Her eyes were blue like theirs were, but they were more severe like his father's. She had frown lines and wrinkles all over her face and her eyes were critical. The moment she opened her mouth, Tobio knew he wasn't going to like what she had to say. All she asked, however, was, "Well, where should I start?"</p><p>"How about the beginning." His father ground out, sending the old woman sharper daggers after she said one sentence than had ever been directed at him.</p><p>Then the part Tobio knew he wouldn't like came out of her mouth, "Well, for starters this place is still a mess. Just like the last time we visited." She sniffed and crossed her arms, not even sparing the surrounding room a glance to prove her point.</p><p>"You mean nine years ago?" his father asked, hysteria creeping into his voice, "Of course the house was a mess, Tobio was three!"</p><p>"Well now he's much older and it hasn't gotten any better."</p><p>Kageyama glanced over at his mother after that comment. She had her hands fisted in her lap, bunching up her skirts, the only sign of her frustration because her expression remained the same.</p><p>"I think it's clean." Tobio murmured, his voice barely carrying, as he gazed around their dining room.</p><p>It had seemed to him the house was always immaculately cleaned because that was what his mother did all day long, early into the morning until late at night. She cleaned.</p><p>The old woman chuckled, "Oh, my dear boy, of course you would think that." The woman he'd never met until now then gave him what he assumed to be an amused smile. Her tone was somewhat mocking, however. She continued on after that exclamation, "But if you actually look you can see dust everywhere."</p><p>"Like where, mom!" his father clenched his fist on top of the table.</p><p>She rolled her eyes, "Anyone with eyes could see it, isn't that right." She elbowed the man beside her, who nodded.</p><p>"Correct. And the food is tasteless." He commented.</p><p>"Your son looks messy. If he walks around like that all the time, people will assume he's uneducated." The woman continued the assault.</p><p>His father gave a growl of frustration, "I'm not home all day to regulate what he wears!"</p><p>"Well maybe if you'd had a good soulmate, she would be here to do such things, and clean and cook properly."</p><p>Kageyama thought he'd seen his father angry.</p><p>But it was never anything like this. He was red in the face, jaw set, and his fists were completely white he was clenching them so tightly. He could see his mother giving him concerned glances every now and then, looking like she wanted to say something, but for some reason wasn't going to.</p><p>"Look," the old woman let out a sigh, "you never were good at rising to our expectations, but I'll admit this is an…" the woman paused, "effort. And while your wife may not be your soulmate, or a good wife, at least you managed to get a wife at all."</p><p>"Speaking of which," the old man suddenly spoke up and turned to Kageyama, "let's see those soulmarks, son. You're older than eight, right?"</p><p>"Yes…" Tobio admitted hesitantly, knowing he wasn't allowed to show his soulmarks.</p><p>"Well let's see them." The old woman reached across the table and grabbed his arm, forcefully dragging up his sleeves when he tried to pull his arm back.</p><p>There were a few words written there by Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but it was hardly an interesting conversation.</p><p>What was written, made him a little embarrassed. He didn't want anyone reading his soulmarks, much less someone he barely knew, and he certainly didn't want this conversation to be the first thing they saw.</p><p>
  <em>Night Iwa-chan~</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Sometimes, I just wish you'd fuck off…</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>But goodnight Tooru.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>The old woman stared at his arms for much longer than Tobio deemed necessary to read that little exchange before she finally said, "Oh, what an… interesting conversation." She smiled lightly, though it didn't reach her eyes and Tobio could instantly tell it was fake. "But neither of those names fit you, Tobio." She went on. "Do you have two soulmates?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded and glanced at his mother who was staring at his soulmarks with that same odd expression she'd had the first time she'd seen them. Then he turned to his father to see if he was looking at Kageyama, only to see he was just glaring at the old woman.</p><p>"Are they good soulmates?" the old man asked, taking another bite of the food that was supposedly plain.</p><p>"Yes." Which was actually the truth for once. If anything, he was the bad soulmate between all of them. Always lying and sneaking around, and hiding things from them, spying on them. He'd done horrible things he thought he would never do to anyone, much less the people he was destined to be with, but here they were.</p><p>"Well at least you did one thing right." The woman commented, glancing over at his father before turning his arms over and admiring his marks with an odd fascination.</p><p>His father said nothing, but had his arms crossed. He still looked furious and unhappy.</p><p>And for once he actually understood why his father was so angry and agreed with those feelings. His grandparents were rather unpleasant and Tobio just wanted them to leave. He didn't like how they were insulting his mother and father or how they forced him to show his soulmarks.</p><p>Finally, the woman let go of his arms and Tobio yanked down his sleeve as fast as possible before the old man continued the interrogation they were giving his father, "So where's he going to school?"</p><p>His father turned to the man and answered shortly, "Kitigawa Daichii."</p><p>"Isn't that a local school." The woman said with a raised eyebrow and pursed lips like it was some distasteful thing.</p><p>"Yes." His father said curtly. "For the last time, we can't afford a prestigious school in a big city like Tokyo."</p><p>"Well then how is he supposed to meet influential people?" The old woman demanded, "Why, he'll just be friends with all these small town folk and never get anywhere in life."</p><p>Tobio didn't understand why these people he'd never met were so interested in where he went with life, but he planned to play professional volleyball. He just didn't say that out loud because it wouldn't go over well. His parents wanted him to be something practical.</p><p>"That's not happening. I make sure that if Tobio has someone he'd like to be his friend, he bring them home so I can assess whether they'd be good for him or not."</p><p>"So you do the bare minimum?" The woman raised an eyebrow and chuckled humorlessly.</p><p>"I'm trying, mother, but I told you we can't afford a prestigious school for him to meet influential people right now, alright? He has a very structured lifestyle. He gets perfect grades, he—"</p><p>"If only you'd been like Tobio." The woman cut off with a sigh.</p><p>"I was like him!" his father slammed his fist down on the table causing Tobio and his mother to jump. His father's parents just stared at him impassively until he said, "I did everything you fucking asked!"</p><p>The façade of a polite family dinner finally broke away at that point. "Don't curse at your mother!" the old man shouted, his mouth twisting in anger, eyes flashing.</p><p>The woman, however, didn't look bothered by the outburst and just said, "Yet you're still here." She wrinkled her nose and gave the entire room a critical look. Gave his father and mother a critical look, so judgemental it was like she'd been saving it so it could gain power. And even though it wasn't directed at him, Kageyama felt exposed and judged by their looks. He could only imagine how his parents felt.</p><p>He knew they didn't have a lot of money, knew they had enough to pay the bills and eat, and he knew if he truly wanted something his parents could financially get it for him.</p><p>But he knew they didn't have enough money to get something this size in a big city like Tokyo, knew his parents would never put themselves in that position.</p><p>He was confused as to why not living in a bigger city was such a huge deal.</p><p>"How are you going to make it big if you never take any risks?" she demanded, pressing down suffocatingly.</p><p>"Risks!" His father growled as if unaffected, "<em>Risks </em>are for when you're twenty years old, not middle aged with a wife and child! If you wanted me to make it big so damn bad you would've given me the money to do it. I'm not interested in that <em>crap </em>anymore, I'm not going to spend our money to fulfill your dreams!"</p><p>The woman leaned back in her chair, "You're such a disappointment, honestly." The woman shook her head.</p><p>"Get the fuck out." His father growled.</p><p>"Honey," his mother started, the first time she'd spoken, and of course it was to play peacemaker. She was always the peacemaker. "They're your parents."</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure why his mother said that. Of course they were his father's parents but they were rude and mean. Tobio didn't even know them but they came in and acted like it was alright to just expose his soulmarks without his permission. They thought he looked uneducated, they insulted their entire way of life.</p><p>However, the comment his mother made seemed to calm his father, though Tobio had no idea why. He wanted the man and woman to just leave too. They made him feel extremely uncomfortable, vulnerable, and weak.</p><p>The woman harrumphed anyway and stood up, walking over to the entry to grab her purse in a huff, "Oh no, we know where we aren't wanted." She declared. "We don't have forever, but cut us out of your life if you want," the woman sniffed, her bottom lip trembling and Tobio almost rolled his eyes at how she tried to be the victim all of a sudden.</p><p>"Mom…" his father looked tired and placed a hand on his forehead, "I'm sor—"</p><p>"I don't want to hear it," she screamed, abruptly angry, "don't take our advice!" she wagged her finger, hand on the doorknob, "But you will be left with nothing one day or another and then you'll wished you'd made it big instead of hooking up with some random woman and having a baby with her all because of one bad experience!"</p><p>"One bad experience! She was my <em>soulmate</em>, it wasn't supposed to be a bad experience!" his father defended.</p><p>"Well, it was, and you somehow made the situation worse!" the woman looked directly at his mother now, her gaze filled with utter hatred before she adjusted her stony glare on her husband. "Hurry up, dear," she growled, "we're leaving!"</p><p>The old man gulped down the rest of his food before standing up and following the woman out of the house with a slam.</p><p>The house went quiet.</p><p>And they sat there saying nothing for a long time.</p><p>It was his mother who spoke first, and her voice was barely a whisper, "Don't you think you were a bit harsh?" she asked. "They're old, after all, and they just want to make sure you're well off."</p><p>"I would be better off if they didn't question all of my life choices."</p><p>Kageyama piped up from the other side of the table, "Papa, what were they talking about? When they mentioned your soulmate." He asked.</p><p>"It's nothing Tobio," his father growled after a beat of silence, and on the second part of his sentence, his voice softened, "just finish your dinner and go up to bed."</p><p>Tobio went silent for a long time, mulling his father's response over in his head before saying, "Okay." He didn't want to argue right now. His father was obviously stressed already, and if Tobio was being honest he was stressed by the entire dinner as well.</p><p>Even as he finished his meal and washed his dishes his parents still sat at the table, and they didn't seem to have any intention of moving.</p><p>They didn't move even after he said goodnight, kissed his mother's cheek, and hugged his father.</p><p>He knew they didn't move because instead of going to bed like he was asked, he secretly sat on the stairs and pressed as close as possible without being seen.</p><p>Now, Kageyama didn't mean to eavesdrop, he was just wondering if his parents would move if he left, but they didn't and started to talk about things Tobio couldn't help but hear.</p><p>Maybe he had meant to eavesdrop just a little.</p><p>"Do you think they're right?" His father's deep voice filled the dining room first.</p><p>His mother didn't answer for a long time and for a minute he thought she wasn't going to but then she asked, "About which part?"</p><p>"All of it."</p><p>"Well…" his mother started, "I don't think the house was a mess. And I don't think my food was bland."</p><p>Kageyama peered around the corner in time to see his father nod. "Dad ate all of it anyway. It obviously wasn't bad."</p><p>He looked back over at his mother, waiting for her to say more. "I don't think they were right about Tobio. I thought he looked educated tonight."</p><p>"He's in middle school, of course he's educated. It's not as if he has a choice whether to go to school or not."</p><p>"True."</p><p>"It also doesn't matter if he looks educated or not! What matters is that he is!" his father's voice suddenly turned frustrated.</p><p>She nodded in agreement, "I don't think they were right about anything, really. How could they be when they don't know anything about you?"</p><p>Tobio was pretty sure that was her way of pushing his father to let his parents in on his life more. Except Tobio didn't want him to do that, would be perfectly fine if he never saw his grandparents again.</p><p>"It doesn't matter. They knew enough to make complaints and that's already too much."</p><p>"But Tobio didn't even know them. Do you really want him to never have a relationship with his grandparents?"</p><p>"Of course I would want him to have a relationship with them if I thought they would be a good influence on Tobio. But as it is, they'll fill his head with ideas of 'risks' and 'fame'. Just like they filled my head with that nonsense. Knowing them I'm fairly sure they meant investments and business deals but I thought it meant women and doing illegal things to get money. And without real help from them of course I would, I was just a dumb kid."</p><p>"It was because of you taking your parents advice however, that you met your soulmate though, right?"</p><p>"I wish I'd never met that woman. If I could go back and never talk to her I would."</p><p>Tobio desperately wanted to know why he felt that way. What had happened with his soulmate? His mother nor father ever talked about either of their soulmates. They never really talked to him about their past at all. This was the first time Tobio was getting to learn anything about his parents.</p><p>Kageyama, deep down, though he didn't want to believe it, had always known his parents were right about bad soulmates. Of course there were bad soulmates because there were bad people. He never would've thought his father knew about that personally though.</p><p>His mother stared and leaned back in her chair, studying his father's face as Kageyama often found himself doing to others. "And what… what if you hadn't met her? What would you have done then?" she said carefully.</p><p>"Are you asking if I would've still slept with you that night?"</p><p>Kageyama almost gagged, he didn't need to hear about that.</p><p>He didn't know the details, but he knew to make a baby people had to get naked and he thought that was embarrassing and disgusting and he hated thinking that was how he was able to exist now.</p><p>"I suppose so." His mother said softly.</p><p>"Yes. I wouldn't trade what I have now for the fame and wealth I might've been able to accumulate. I love you… and I love Tobio."</p><p>Kageyama hadn't heard his father say that in a while. "I want to do better, want to give him better than what I had. But I think I'm failing."</p><p>"I think you're doing a little better than your parents. But I think there are things you could consider."</p><p>His mother had always worded things better than he was ever able to. He wanted to be tactful like her, but he could only ever let the first thing he was thinking spill from his mouth and reap the consequences.</p><p>"Okay," his father let out a short laugh, "I can try to do things differently…"</p><p>Before his father could continue Kageyama then did the stupidest thing he could do in that situation, but he felt he had to. He couldn't just go upstairs after everything he heard and not reveal he'd heard everything.</p><p>He didn't really want this to be another lie.</p><p>So he stepped out from behind the wall, knowing they might be angry at him. Knowing they had every right to be angry at him for this. It was wrong to eavesdrop on private conversations after all.</p><p>Tobio's mother, always more observant, noticed him first. "Tobio?" she asked, and he could almost see concern in her eyes.</p><p>His father turned, "What's wrong?" he asked. "I thought we told you to go to bed."</p><p>"Nothing is wrong." Tobio admitted.</p><p>"Then why are you out of bed?" His father's eyebrows furrowed.</p><p>"I was listening," He slurred the words out, going so fast, he almost hoped his parents didn't catch what he was saying. But of course, they did.</p><p>"That was a private conversation." His mother scolded. "You shouldn't have listened in. It wasn't your place."</p><p>"I know. But I wanted to know about papa's soulmate."</p><p>"I thought I told you it was none of your damn business."</p><p>"I know papa, I'm sorry." Kageyama bowed straight down at ninety degrees. "And I'm sorry I showed my soulmarks at dinner." Even mentioning soulmates was risky business when it came to his family, but both of his parents looked too tired to care much about what Kageyama said. He could understand, he felt fatigued as well after that dinner and he was counting on that exhaustion to help him get through this conversation.</p><p>"We're not mad at you about that Tobio." His father shook his head. "There's no need for you to apologize for your grandparents."</p><p>"Oh, okay." He was fairly sure that would be the response he got, but he wanted to make sure. "Goodnight again." He wanted to get out of there before they could think to scold him more about the eavesdropping.</p><p>"For real this time, right?"</p><p>"For real," Kageyama confirmed and his father let out a tired sigh.</p><p>"Goodnight, Tobio." He said and his mother repeated the gesture before Kageyama went up to his room. He knew more about both his parents than he ever had, was starting to get an idea of what their old life was like, their life before him. But he could see they always clammed up about it when he was in the room.</p><p>Kageyama had a taste now, and he wanted to know more. But he wasn't going to get anything more out of them unless they were extremely drunk or something which he knew wasn't going to happen.</p><p>Tobio crawled in bed after he brushed his teeth and turned off the lights. He laid in the dark then, nightlight illuminated next to him so he could see the ceiling he was staring at. Tobio knew he had to find some other way to get to know more about his parents, and now he knew the people who had that information.</p><p>Kageyama didn't like them, didn't like his grandparents at all, would gladly never speak to them again, but if they would be able to tell him about the things he wanted to know about… maybe he could feel closer to his parents and close the rift he could feel starting to separate them.</p><p>Maybe if he showed them he understood they could all get along better.</p><hr/><p>The next morning Kageyama woke up, his entire room blurry for a moment before his eyes adjusted to the light streaming through his bedroom window.</p><p>The night before almost felt like a dream, even though he knew it wasn't because he remembered going to that birthday party, and if his grandparents hadn't come over he would've been in deep trouble.</p><p>So he knew last night was real, and in a way it was a good thing they came. They helped get him out of trouble, and they revealed things he never would've known about his parents otherwise.</p><p>That morning, he hurried and dressed for school, wanting an early start to the day. "Bye mama!" he called and slammed the door behind him, hurrying off to school.</p><p>The morning was a little warmer than it had been in past weeks, but not warm enough he looked odd in his long sleeved shirts, and cool enough that the sun actually felt nice. It was clear today after days and days of cloudy weather, so the change was nice.</p><p>He could feel it was going to be a good day.</p><p>As he was walking, something bright flooded the corner of his eyes, but when he turned there was nothing there. Kageyama stared at the spot where he'd seen the bright thing before he shrugged and kept walking to school.</p><p>Then, he saw it again.</p><p>Tobio whipped around, this time much faster, wondering if something was wrong with his vision because the bright orange flash was gone before he could catch whatever it was yet a second time.</p><p>Maybe it was a bee.</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>"Ack!" Kageyama screamed, jumped, and whirled around, heart in his throat, to see the boy from the park. His hair was still carrot colored, and grin still impossibly wide.</p><p>"Yamayama-kun, funny running into you again." He said with a grin. "I thought it was you I saw, but I had to make sure."</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes, "Dummy, we live in the same town. And it's not funny!"</p><p>Hinata tilted his head before shrugging, "Where are you going Yamayama-kun?" he asked.</p><p>"School." Tobio muttered, starting to walk again, but this time Hinata followed him.</p><p>"Cool. Wanna skip?"</p><p>"Skip what?" Kageyama asked, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>"School. We could go somewhere else and hang out."</p><p>"No, I have to go to school. And you need to go to school too. Won't they call our parents if we don't show up?" Kageyama didn't want to get in trouble again.</p><p>"Well… anime characters skip school all the time and don't get in trouble." Hinata reasoned with him.</p><p>"We aren't anime characters."</p><p>The shorter boy pouted and crossed his arms, obviously not liking Kageyama's logical response.</p><p>"Besides," Kageyama added, "I have volleyball practice today, and I don't want to skip that."</p><p>"You play volleyball?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded, "Yeah, and I have a responsibility to be at practice, and I also have to get good grades, so I can't skip school with you today."</p><p>"Well what if we planned it for some other day?" Kageyama was about to clarify he couldn't skip <em>any</em> day when Hinata added, "Or we could just hang out on the weekend!"</p><p>"I don't have a phone though." How would they plan it?</p><p>"We'll meet this Saturday! Right here… by that store!" Hinata pointed over to one of the small shops across the street and turned back to Kageyama with a grin."</p><p>"Um… what time?"</p><p>"Noon! I'll for sure be there, pinkie swear!"</p><p>Tobio didn't think this was a very good idea, but last time he and Hinata hung out it was really fun. Playing around and goofing off with him, made him far happier than it should've made him. He would have to make sure to remember his shoes this time though, and dress more appropriately for the weather if he was to go.</p><p>"So what do you say?" Hinata asked, his eyes too hopeful for Kageyama to even consider saying no.</p><p>"Okay," Tobio agreed softly. He could leave, hang out with Hinata, and get back before his parents even noticed he was gone, he was sure of it. Besides, he wanted to have fun with Hinata, and he was sure his parents would say no if he asked.</p><p>They would want to meet him, and considering Hinata had just suggested they skip school he already knew the orange haired boy would not be up to the standard his father, and possibly grandparents, had set for him.</p><p>The boy gave him a huge smile and said, "Okay, see you then Yamayama-kun, bye!" Hinata waved before speeding off in the other direction, a tiny blur as he ran.</p><p>The boy certainly was fast.</p><p>Kageyama readjusted his backpack and started walking again. Now though, he was smiling. He had something to get him through the week. He had something to look forward to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>When you can't help but add sunshine boy back in, make your readers hate someone else, and ended the chapter within 2.8k but the edited version is like 4.5k. Comments always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning with his mother made him feel odd. Kageyama couldn't describe he was feeling exactly, but something was off.</p><p>Kageyama came downstairs, as usual, and his breakfast was ready for him as always. He could see his mother cleaning, just as usual. She was acting strangely though because when he entered the dining room she quickly left.</p><p>It was as if she was avoiding him for some reason.</p><p>He supposed that was alright. His mother didn't usually speak to him in the mornings anyway, and he didn't speak to her. After last night Kageyama was especially too tired to hold up a proper conversation this morning anyway.</p><p>Which was why he almost let a groan out when he ran into Oikawa as he was entering the school the building. Their eyes locked for a split moment and that was apparently all the incentive Oikawa needed to march over to him.</p><p>As he got closer, Kageyama could see Oikawa's expression was angry (frustrated?) and his gaze was definitely pointed at Kageyama.</p><p>Tobio did not want to deal with this today.</p><p>"Tobio-chan!" Oikawa started, sounding upset.</p><p>"Yes?" by Oikawa's narrowed expression he was fairly sure he'd failed to sound interested.</p><p>"Do you know what Iwa-chan said to me?"</p><p>"You're shitty?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Go away?"</p><p>"No! He told me that he's stronger than me just because he can pick you up for a little while! Except you're only like sixty pounds, it's not that impressive!" Oikawa growled.</p><p>Kageyama crossed his arms, "What do you want?"</p><p>"Right to the point, Tobio-chan, no fun." He pouted. "But since you asked, I'll tell you." Oikawa crossed his arms and continued, "I have to prove I'm just as strong if not stronger than Iwa-chan!"</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"So Iwa-chan held you for thirteen minutes and I'm going to hold you for fourteen."</p><p>"Why the hell were you counting?"</p><p>Oikawa's expression changed from triumph to a scowl, "No reason!" he shouted pointing an accusing finger at Kageyama. "Why do you even care, huh!"</p><p>"I don't."</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes, "Today at lunch, meet me there and don't be late!" he said, ignoring Tobio's lack of interest.</p><p>Kageyama didn't say anything in response because he still wasn't awake enough to make intelligent conversation, and let Oikawa saunter off.</p><p>He yawned and went to class to face another day.</p><p>All his classes went smoothly, and Kageyama was actually feeling better by lunch. Last nights events had mostly faded from his mind, except the idea that he needed to talk with his grandparents to find out more about his mother and father.</p><p>Everything else faded into the background.</p><p>"Tobio-chan~!"</p><p>Great, Kageyama, in his semi-good mood, had actually forgotten about Oikawa for a moment.</p><p>Tobio took a deep breath and let it out. Normally, he wasn't this annoyed with simply talking to Oikawa, but this thing he wanted to prove was completely ridiculous, it sounded embarrassing, and he didn't really want any part of it.</p><p>"Why can't you just pick up something like a weight to prove your dumb strength. You know, like a normal person."</p><p>"I don't want to Tobio-chan." Oikawa whined, "Please, you promised you would earlier."</p><p>"I said no such thing! You ordered me to meet you at lunch, I never agreed to anything!"</p><p>"But Tobio-chan, please!" he gave Kageyama puppy dog eyes. "Please, Iwa-chan says I have noodle arms which isn't true!"</p><p>Oikawa did kind of have noodle arms.</p><p>"I'll buy you milk."</p><p>Kageyama hesitated, before relenting slightly, "Okay, but buy me milk first."</p><p>Oikawa pouted, "You think I would lie to you?" he sounded offended.</p><p>"Yeah. I can already hear you saying you don't remember saying anything like that."</p><p>"Mean Tobio-chan, mean! But fine, I'll buy you milk. But you better not run off while I'm gone!"</p><p>"I'm not like you."</p><p>"Why's everyone so mean to me." Oikawa grumbled as he walked off to go get Tobio his milk.</p><p>Kageyama sighed but didn't run off like he wanted to. Didn't hide somewhere until lunch was over like he wanted. He stayed and waited because now technically he'd made a deal and he wasn't about to give up on his end.</p><p>When Oikawa came back over, he was with Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi stared at Tobio and rolled his eyes with a half smile as if to say <em>I know</em>. He probably knew more than Kageyama about Oikawa's antics considering he had to put up with them all the time.</p><p>"Here's your dumb milk box." Oikawa dropped it on Tobio's desk. "And now I'm going to prove to you Iwa-chan that I'm stronger."</p><p>"Good luck. You'll need it." Iwaizumi said, smirking.</p><p>"Hmph, alright Tobio-chan, stand up and Iwa-chan, ready the timer!"</p><p>Kageyama sighed and stood up. The three of them were attracting some attention but most students just ignored them like considerate people.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Kageyama didn't know why Oikawa looked like he was gearing up for the hardest challenge of his entire life.</p><p>"Okay." He took a deep breath and scooped Tobio up in his arms, but in that split instant Kageyama could tell Oikawa's hold on him was nowhere near as stable as Iwaizumi's had been.</p><p>"You're heavier than Iwa-chan made you look."</p><p>"Yeah, cus I'm stronger."</p><p>"No you aren't!"</p><p>"You know, just because I only carried Kageyama for thirteen minutes doesn't mean I couldn't have done it for longer."</p><p>"Shut u—"</p><p>At that point Oikawa lost his balance and if Iwaizumi hadn't been there they would've both fallen. "Oikawa be careful! We don't need you two getting hurt." Iwaizumi scolded lightly.</p><p>"Aw, Iwa-chan is worried." Oikawa said, releasing his grip on Tobio and Kageyama landed on his feet.</p><p>"I'm not worried." Iwaizumi said. "I'm just telling you not to be a dumbass and get yourself hurt!"</p><p>"So you were worried." Oikawa smirked, turned, and wrapped his arms around Iwaizumi's neck.</p><p>Iwaizumi rolled his eyes with a half-smile, "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he murmured, patting Oikawa's head, "you okay Kageyama?" he asked, glancing down at Tobio.</p><p>"I'm fine." Kageyama poked the straw into his milk and started to drink it. "Is Oikawa-san alright?"</p><p>"He's fine."</p><p>"I can speak for myself!" Oikawa paused and then grumbled, "I'm fine." Almost like he was grumpy about it.</p><p>"Well don't sound unhappy about it."</p><p>"I wouldn't sound unhappy except you already said it and I was going to say how I felt myself!"</p><p>"Well if you were hurt you'd start bawling about it."</p><p>"Would not Iwa-chan!"</p><p>Kageyama took his milk box and his bag and creeped out of the classroom without Oikawa or Iwaizumi seeing him, but he did hear their arguing grow fainter and fainter as he made his way down the hall.</p><p>After that incident, the rest of Friday went by smoothly, and Kageyama even managed to avoid Oikawa all through volleyball practice, which wasn't easy, but Oikawa eventually gave up when he saw he wasn't going to get a response or reaction out of Tobio.</p><p>He was proud of himself for managing that, proud of himself for being home on time for once and he thought his mother would look proud of him for that too, but she just looked surprised.</p><p>Kageyama sighed and took the stairs up to his room two at a time so he could get started on his homework and hopefully finish it before his father got home from work.</p><p>Tobio worked until he heard a knock, "Tobio, your father's home." That meant it was time to come down for dinner. It was odd he hadn't heard his father come in though.</p><p>Maybe he'd just been really focused on his homework.</p><p>When Kageyama got downstairs he said, "Hi, papa," and sat in his chair, "How was your day?"</p><p>"It was good, how was your day at school? Did you do well?"</p><p>"Yes, to both those things… um, what about you, mama?"</p><p>"My day was nice."</p><p>Then everything fell silent as they ate. After everyone said how their day was which varied from good to okay, everything at the table was silent unless Kageyama decided he wanted to push his luck.</p><p>With what he was planning on doing tomorrow, Tobio decided it wasn't a good idea to test his parents right now.</p><p>Once they finished Kageyama went upstairs and showered before getting ready for bed.</p><p>He was to see Hinata tomorrow, at noon, and Kageyama was extremely nervous, but also very excited and both those feelings created knots in his stomach.</p><p>What if his parents decided to go looking for him and found him hanging out with someone? What if Hinata didn't show up? What if his father got home before he did and his mother came up to get him for dinner and know for sure he was gone?</p><p>There were a lot of things that could go wrong with tomorrow, but by agreeing to meet Hinata he supposed he'd already decided those risks were worth what he was about to do.</p><hr/><p>Kageyama slid out of bed at 8:00 the next morning, not having slept well, but feeling energized.</p><p>He went downstairs, ate his breakfast, and then snuck his shoes upstairs to put on later.</p><p>His pillow could be used to make his mom think he was sleeping in bed. His mother wouldn't be likely to 'wake' him until dinner, as long as he ate lunch before 'going to sleep'. That meant he'd probably be a little late to meet with Hinata, but that was a small price to pay for not getting caught.</p><p>So, Tobio did just that. He ate his lunch at around noon and then slipped his pillow under the covers, yanked on his shoes, and then climbed out his bedroom window.</p><p>He had to climb back in to grab a jacket though.</p><p>After that he was on his way to meet Hinata, still a bundle of nerves, and worrying that his mother wouldn't fall for the pillow trick. And there was always the possibility that Hinata wouldn't even be at the meeting place.</p><p>He probably forgot, now that Kageyama thought about it. There was no reason for him to remember anyway. Him and Hinata weren't best friends or anything. It made more sense that he forgot.</p><p>Tobio shouldn't have done this, this was a dumb idea. He should just turn around and go back home before he really got in trouble.</p><p>For some reason his body wouldn't turn around, however, he just kept walking.</p><p>He supposed he had to make sure Hinata hadn't forgotten. He would just go to the meeting place, and once he made sure Hinata wasn't there, he could just turn around and walk off.</p><p>When Kageyama got to the little store though, Hinata was waiting there, looking around, probably for him. Suddenly Tobio felt bad for even thinking of just going home.</p><p>Well, now that he'd seen Hinata was here, it'd be wrong to turn around and leave. So he walked up, feeling nervous. It wasn't like last time they'd met spontaneously.</p><p>Hinata liked him enough to actually take time out of his schedule to hang out. Kageyama couldn't disappoint him.</p><p>"Hey," Tobio's voice cracked and with that he wanted to slam his head into a wall and then crawl into a hole and never come out. He felt sweat start forming on the back of his neck and reached a hand up there to wipe it away before it could crawl down his back.</p><p>It was strange he was sweating since it wasn't even too hot out, but he supposed it was from all his nervousness.</p><p>"Hi Yamayama-kun!" Hinata bounced over towards him with one of his beaming smiles.</p><p>Kageyama almost said 'hi' again but then remembered he'd just said it, so that would be dumb of him. "You came…"</p><p>"Of course I did, I said I promised. Besides, all of my other friends were busy today, so I'm glad you didn't have any plans so we could hang out again!"</p><p>Tobio didn't know why but his entire body heated up when he heard Hinata say, 'other friends'. Did that mean he thought of Kageyama as one of his friends?</p><p>Hinata was still grinning at him so he gave a small smile in return, "So what do you want to do?" Kageyama hoped Hinata had something in mind because he'd never hung out before with anyone and had no idea what they could do together.</p><p>"I've never really hung out with anyone outside of school, so I don't know."</p><p>"Oh… well I'll be your first friend and teach you all the rules of hanging out."</p><p>"What are the rules?" Tobio asked hoping it wasn't long because he had trouble remembering a lot of things sometimes.</p><p>"Okay, take notes Yamayama-kun. Number one, you need to have fun."</p><p>Then Hinata stood there and waited. Kageyama started to wonder if he actually expected note taking because Tobio didn't bring any paper or a pencil for that matter. "What's rule number two?"</p><p>"There isn't one. With me, we're always just gonna have fun okay. We don't have to talk about or do anything we don't want to.</p><p>"So we don't do serious stuff?"</p><p>"Not if we don't want to."</p><p>And as much as Kageyama liked making deep connections with people when he got the chance, taking the time to really get to know them. Not just their favorite ice cream or color but something more substantial. Of course, he didn't know anyone that well, not even his own parents, however he knew he would like to know more about those things. About Iwaizumi, and Oikawa, about his parents. If they told him those things it would make him feel wanted and important.</p><p>Hinata's offer felt different though. Not like he didn't want to be close, but like he just wanted to have fun. Kageyama wanted to have fun too, that's why he was here in the first place. He wanted to leave behind all his problems and worries and just have fun.</p><p>"Okay, Hinata."</p><p>Hinata smiled at him and took his hand, "Alright, let's go in that store. It's got lots of candy. I can even buy some for us." He pointed.</p><p>"Oh, you don't have to do that." Kageyama said quickly.</p><p>"But I want to. Besides, it's for me too."</p><p>Kageyama was still lost about this friend thing, because only his parents and Oikawa now had ever bought him something and he was pretty sure Oikawa only bought that nightlight to tease him, even though it had actually helped so he wasn't sure that counted.</p><p>They entered the store and Kageyama was instantly hit by a huge array of candy. So much candy everywhere, he'd never seen so much in his entire life.</p><p>In fact, he'd never gone in any of the stores along this street. To him, this had always just been his route to school, never something he could explore.</p><p>"Yamayama-kun, don't they look good. Come over here," Hinata waved him over vehemently to a specific jar of candy and pointed at it. They looked like some kind of gummy.</p><p>"These are my favorites, let's get some! What are your favorites?"</p><p>Kageyama had never had candy before, he had no idea. "I don't know." He shrugged. "Never had candy."</p><p>"You poor child," Hinata put a hand on his arm which felt a little dramatic to Kageyama, "today that all changes. What candy looks good?"</p><p>Tobio browsed the store and Hinata did too. There were all types of candy. Hard candies and soft, with all kinds of flavors. He didn't even really know where to start. "What about this one?" He pointed to a long, stick like candy with a chocolate tip. There were other flavors, but he thought that particular one looked good.</p><p>"Ooo, pocky?" Hinata turned to him with a mischievous smirk, "Ever heard of the pocky game?"</p><p>"No," Kageyama shook his head.</p><p>"Well, I mean it's supposed to be a game, but people just use it as an excuse to kiss each other mostly. At least that's what happens in anime."</p><p>"You watch too much TV."</p><p>Hinata rolled his eyes, "You sound like my mom. And watching too much is better than not watching it at all!"</p><p>"I don't think so." Kageyama said. "I've never watched this anime you're talking about and I'm perfectly fine."</p><p>"Mhm," but Hinata's hum sounded skeptical. "Maybe, but it's okay to act young you know."</p><p>Kageyama had no idea what Hinata meant by that so he just raised his eyebrows and gave a questioning look. "Well," Hinata started, "you act like grumpy old man already. You don't watch TV, you don't eat candy, you don't like kids—"</p><p>"I don't NOT like kids," Kageyama defended himself, "they just make me nervous."</p><p>"Yeah, well, you should live a little."</p><p>"I do!"</p><p>Hinata grabbed the pocky sticks and his gummies and put them on the counter to pay, "What do you do then?" Hinata thanked the lady at the register for the candy and Kageyama nodded at her, trying to smile without looking strange but he'd probably failed.</p><p>"Last night I stayed up ten minutes passed my bedtime to get my homework done."</p><p>"Oh yeah… I have homework to do." Hinata mused, tapping his chin. "I guess I'll do it later. Anyway, Yamayama-kun, where do you want to go next? I'm pretty open to anything."</p><p>"Um… what if we went into that store?" Kageyama pointed to a random one because he was panicking and had no idea what he wanted.</p><p>"That's an underwear store for women."</p><p>"Oh… never mind then, I—"</p><p>"Let's do it."</p><p>Hinata grabbed his hand and dragged him over, peeking into the windows secretively like they were doing something illegal. "We're secret agents and we have but one mission." Hinata whispered.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"How can we make stuffy old ladies glare at us the hardest."</p><p>"Won't they not like that though?"</p><p>Hinata shrugged, "I guess not, but they're mean to me too. Some horrible woman told me I'm not supposed to know the word fuck and kept insisting I was eight when I'm twelve! It was so annoying." Hinata grumbled.</p><p>"What if we went in that game store over there."</p><p>"Oh yeah, there's this new really cool game, you've gotta see." Hinata bounced up and away from the window, dragging Kageyama over to the new store that had caught his interest.</p><p>They browsed the store, Hinata tugging him around everywhere that was supposedly interesting.</p><p>Eventually, after a couple more stores and endless amounts of conversation, Kageyama asked, "What time is it?"</p><p>Hinata whipped out a small phone from his back pocket and glanced at the time, "4:30. Wow, it's late. Time flies huh?"</p><p>"I have to get home. But, here's your pocky candy. Play the game with someone you like."</p><p>If you asked whether Iwaizumi and Oikawa flooded into his mind when Hinata said that he would've denied it profusely. But he'd be lying.</p><p>"Ooo, you definitely have someone in mind~." Hinata teased when he saw the expression on Kageyama's face.</p><p>"No." Kageyama murmured, feeling the tips of his ears go red.</p><p>"Who is it? Who, huh~?"</p><p>"Just some classmates! I have to go!" Kageyama turned around and raced down the streets, partly because he wanted to run away from the embarrassment, and partly because he really did have to go.</p><p>"See you later, Yamayama-kun!"</p><p>Kageyama came to a halt and turned to see Hinata waving frantically at him. Tobio tried to smile without looking weird and raised his hand in a shy wave of his own before continuing to run.</p><p>He looked down at the pocky in his hands, wondering where in his room to hide it. His mother always went through all his things when she was cleaning, and the only thing she never touched was his schoolbag. Sometimes she'd just move it somewhere random that apparently looked cleaner than where Kageyama had put it.</p><p>He noticed when he got home that his father's car wasn't in the driveway yet. Tobio let out a sigh of relief and walked to the side of the house where he managed to pull himself up and into his bedroom.</p><p>He took a quick glance around the room but his mother was nowhere to be found and neither was his father. The pillow he'd shoved under his covers was intact.</p><p>Kageyama let out another sigh and shut his window, kicking off his shoes, figuring he'd sneak them downstairs late tonight when his parents were asleep. It'd be unlikely for his parents to notice they were gone anyway.</p><p>Kageyama hid the shoes under his bed, and shoved the pocky in his school bag, hoping it wouldn't break and zipped it back up.</p><p>After, Tobio flopped down on his bed, moving the pillow to it's rightful place on his bed.</p><p>For today he was safe.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ahhh sorry this took me so longed, or if it was rushed or boring but this is kind of a filler chapter and I hope it was still somewhat enjoyable! Thanks for reading, comments are lovely!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Tobio's father returned later that night he asked about the missing shoes but Kageyama just shrugged and easily explained that his mother must've moved them somewhere.</p><p>When his father looked over at her, she shrugged.</p><p>"I'm sure we'll find them later." She reassured, not seeming worried.</p><p>"Yeah, we always find my backpack. But sometimes I think you hide it from me, mama." Tobio giggled.</p><p>"Well do you expect me to just let you leave it in the middle of the floor?"</p><p>"It's not in the middle of the floor, and no, but maybe you could put it in my room instead of in some random place?"</p><p>She sighed, "I'll try to remember. But maybe you should just take your bag to your room like you're supposed to?"</p><p>Kageyama was about to say something but was interrupted.</p><p>"Well," his father started, "thankfully you don't have school to attend tomorrow, but don't make a habit of flinging your shoes around and letting your mother hide them."</p><p>His mom sighed and sent his father a disapproving look, "I do not hide them." She stated firmly as she set food on the table while Tobio and his father sat down.</p><p>"Okay," his father said but in a way that made it obvious he didn't believe her, and sometimes Tobio didn't either.</p><p>She didn't seem to realize, or if she did she ignored the tone and sat down last. His father changed the subject, "So what did you two do all day?"</p><p>"I cleaned. Tobio slept the whole day away." His mother said.</p><p>"School been hard?"</p><p>"A little." Tobio admitted, once again lying to his father. But at least this lie would be impossible to find out.</p><p>"But you've been getting top marks still?" he asked.</p><p>Kageyama nodded, "Yes, I've been studying hard." He hadn't really been, and school had been normal, but might as well make himself look better in the eyes of his parents. It was still important to him that they liked him, and thought he was a good son but Tobio was realizing he could possibly achieve that and fun by lying and sneaking around just a little bit.</p><p>Tobio was the one who changed the subject this time, "Papa, I was wondering if I could have a phone, maybe." Kageyama murmured vaguely. He was sure a phone would present it's own problems. Tracking, parental controls, but he was also confident he could work around all of that and sneak contacts in.</p><p>"Why do you want that?" his father stopped eating for a moment, looking up at him, and his mother stared at him with a hint of curiosity.</p><p>"So I can keep in touch with you better. Like if I got lost or something. Or maybe if you approve people at school, I can put them in or something."</p><p>That was a lie. Tobio was never going to introduce anyone to his parents, but it might help his case and prove to his parents it would benefit all of them if he were to get a phone.</p><p>His parents were silent for a long time before his father said, "Your mother and I will think about it." He looked like he was truly contemplating it, which gave Tobio hope for the best.</p><p>After that conversation came to an end they continued eating the rest of their meal in silence.</p><hr/><p>The months were passing even quicker than before, soon April had passed him by, and then May, and before he knew it, Iwaizumi and Oikawa would be graduating soon.</p><p>They didn't talk about it much to him, though he supposed they didn't seem sad so they probably weren't going to miss him as much as he would them.</p><p>Not for the first time, Tobio found himself wishing he was two years older so he could graduate with them.</p><p>And not for the first time, Kageyama found himself walking up to Oikawa to ask him a question he'd been hoping for a 'yes' to since the beginning of this year. "Oikawa-san, teach me how to serve please, maybe." Kageyama said. That was probably the one request that had never been granted, and the one thing he kept asking no matter how many times he was rejected.</p><p>"Hm, let me think about it…" Oikawa put a hand under his chin and made an exaggerated thinking face before smiling again. "I have an idea! How about no!" Oikawa said cheerfully and bopped Tobio's nose.</p><p>"But Oikawa-san! You're going to be leaving soon and if you don't teach me now then what if I never learn."</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes, "That's the point, my cute, dumb Tobio-chan."</p><p>Kageyama felt a bubble of frustration well up inside him, "Fine! Don't expect me to help you again." He growled.</p><p>Oikawa scoffed, "When have you ever helped the magnificent me? Besides, when have I never helped you when you truly needed it?"</p><p>"When have I never helped you even if you <em>didn't </em>need it!"</p><p>"Well, you've never helped me, so I don't even know what you're talking about."</p><p>"Fuck you!" Tobio growled, the polite demeanor he almost always had fading away quickly with Oikawa's provocations.</p><p>"No thank you."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Kageyama stared, not understanding, but even though Oikawa had repeated his question he looked like he understood everything perfectly somehow.</p><p>"Um… well, you are extremely rude sometimes!" Tobio continued.</p><p>"Oh no, how will I recover from that fatal blow." Oikawa said sarcastically.</p><p>"… You're being mean right now. What's your problem?"</p><p>"My problem? My problem is that my annoying, little kohai keeps asking the same questions over and over."</p><p>"Sorry I'm so annoying!" even though Kageyama wasn't really sorry because he didn't even see how he was being annoying.</p><p>"Well if you're sorry then you'll stop asking those questions."</p><p>Kageyama cried out in frustration, "I can't wait till you graduate!" Tobio growled. "Then I won't have to see your ugly face!"</p><p>He knew that entire thing was mean, and he knew he didn't mean it either, because he never wanted Oikawa to graduate, and Oikawa wasn't ugly at all. But he couldn't help it because Oikawa flared up something ugly in him sometimes.</p><p>"Aw, I'll miss you too little Tobio-chan." Oikawa sneered.</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes, completely done with all of Oikawa's immaturity and turned to leave but was stopped by a hand on his arm. He was about to turn and tell Oikawa to eat dirt but something in the other boy's expression stopped him.</p><p>"So, Tobio-chan…" Oikawa paused and looked like he was contemplating something, "we're inviting the volleyball team out today for meat buns. Sort of as a farewell before graduation yknow. So if you want to, you can come." He said, letting go of Kageyama's arm. Tobio was tempted to say he couldn't and that even if he could he wouldn't come because he didn't care that Oikawa was graduating, but he didn't.</p><p>That would quickly fall apart anyway, as they both knew he cared that Iwaizumi was graduating, even if he pretended none of it affected him.</p><p>"You know what, fine. I will go, but… only because there's meat buns."</p><p>"So feisty." Oikawa teased, "When did you become such a little firecracker."</p><p>"Since forever!"</p><p>"Not true." Oikawa pouted, "You used to be a sweet, quiet little thing that wanted your senpai to teach you how to serve. Now you keep telling me to fuck off and I blame Iwa-chan!"</p><p>"It has nothing to do with Iwaizumi-san and everything to do with you. Sometimes I just want to spike your head!" Kageyama hadn't truly meant to say the last part out loud, but he'd always been horrible at holding things back, especially when he got irritated.</p><p>Oikawa tilted his head, smirking, "Does this mean I don't get a goodbye hug at graduation?"</p><p>Tobio didn't say anything, and just crossed his arms, bottling up all his anger. Tobio didn't usually get irritated. For the most part he was shy and tried not to bother anyone.</p><p>Recently he was getting tired of being placid to Oikawa, who was the only one who he'd really ever gotten angry at. He'd been irritated and frustrated with his parents before, but never angry exactly.</p><p>Kageyama didn't like getting angry, and he didn't like to shout or yell or be mean so he always tried to hold back what he was really thinking and craft his words more carefully as his mother did. Usually, he managed to hold back the bite in his words, but not often the words themselves.</p><p>"No." Tobio said simply, managing to reign in a lot of his previous irritation.</p><p>"So rude, Tobio-chan. I think I deserve one for being such a good senpai."</p><p>"You aren't that great." Tobio paused. "But you aren't the worst."</p><p>Oikawa hummed, maybe in appreciation before he said, "Hey Tobio-chan, I'm going to let you in on a little secret."</p><p>"What secret?"</p><p>"I really hated you at first." Oikawa stated bluntly.</p><p>Kageyama had discerned that much. He was not the best at social interaction but he wasn't a complete fool.</p><p>"I still kind of do." He admitted, "You're annoying, and weird, and you still follow me around a lot."</p><p>Kageyama could admit that all of that was true. That didn't mean Oikawa wasn't also annoying, weird, and followed him around too, but he thought that would probably just make the other boy angry and by the time he'd thought of it Oikawa was saying something else anyway.</p><p>"But, since I've gotten to know you, I'll say you aren't the worst person in the world."</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes again. "Are you saying you regret what you said to me."</p><p>"I'm saying that maybe everything wasn't <em>entirely </em>your fault."</p><p>"Is this your apology?"</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Good, because if so you were doing terribly." Kageyama said.</p><p>"You are… you are… you are <em>uninvited </em>from meat buns!"</p><p>Kageyama shrugged, "I'm going to come anyway. And since Iwaizumi-san will be there, you can't stop me or I'll tell him you said everyone could come but me."</p><p>"You little fucking snitch!" Oikawa cried, crossing his arms.</p><p>His soulmate reminded Tobio of a small child who threw temper tantrums a lot but somehow made the mini tantrums look cute and endearing rather than annoying like how they should be.</p><p>"I'm going to miss you, Oikawa-san."</p><p>"Miss me or miss torturing me with Iwa-chan." Oikawa murmured dramatically with a fake sniff.</p><p>"You." Tobio knew that Oikawa had been downright horrible to him plenty of times throughout his first year, but Kageyama thought that maybe if they both changed a little one day they could click like proper soulmates should.</p><p>Tobio was willing to wait for Oikawa and Iwaizumi to like him as he did them. He wasn't going to give up on his soulmates so easily, not like his parents had.</p><p>"Aww, you'll miss me?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded, "And your noodle arms."</p><p>"… Never mind, I still hate you."</p><p>Kageyama gave a small smile that had Oikawa trying to pinch his cheeks. Seriously Oikawa was such a child sometimes that even Kageyama was convinced he was more mature.</p><p>Practice continued as normal for the most part. At the end they split into two teams, Oikawa and Iwaizumi on one side of the net and Kageyama on the other.</p><p>The dark part of his mind told him that they would always be on opposite sides of the court. That no matter how close they appeared to get, when it came down to it they wouldn't want him no matter how hard he tried.</p><p>The other part still remained hopeful.</p><p>When practice ended they all came together, one of the rare moments where the team didn't break apart and go their separate ways leaving Tobio alone.</p><p>He didn't mind that much. He knew in the end it was his fault for not having any friends. He didn't know how to socialize well for the most part, and he always refused to hang out together. He could see that to the others it looked like he was the one who hadn't cared about them.</p><p>He was glad though, that today was different. He figured this would only take an hour at most so he'd still be home before his father came home and he would just tell his mother he got lost and maybe that would also help his case in getting a phone.</p><p>Kageyama knew he probably shouldn't feel as happy as he did spending time with Iwaizumi and Oikawa right now, since this was basically a goodbye event. And Tobio didn't really know what that meant since he'd never said goodbye to anyone except his mother when he went to school, but that was only for about six hours or so.</p><p>And the only time he didn't see Iwaizumi or Oikawa was usually on the weekends, or sometimes a couple days if one was sick. He didn't really want to know what it would be like to say goodbye to someone for more than a couple days but at the same time he was curious.</p><p>They walked in a large group, but the first years were in the back along with himself, the second years ahead of him, and then the third years at the front, leading all of them.</p><p>When they got to the store, the third years went inside and everyone else waited outside, finally breaking into their usual groups. Kageyama didn't have a group, and he had no idea how to worm his way into one. After all, everyone was already such good friends with each other. It was the end of the year, so of course they were.</p><p>Maybe if Kageyama was more sociable or friendlier or had a better personality, he would be able to just fit right in. As it stood though, that was impossible.</p><p>"Oh, Tobio-chan~!" Kageyama heard the bell to the store jingle as it opened. "What are you doing all alone~." Oikawa handed him a meat bun.</p><p>"Anyone would rather be alone than listen to your annoying, high-pitched voice."</p><p>"Take it back, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa cried. "My voice isn't annoying, or high-pitched, right Tobio-chan?"</p><p>In response Tobio took a bite of his meat bun.</p><p>"You guys are always ganging up on me."</p><p>"Don't think I don't notice you teasing Kageyama when you think I can't see. I heard you tell him he was uninvited today."</p><p>"Iwa-chan, you heard what he said to me! He told me I'm terrible at apologies!"</p><p>"Which is just the truth."</p><p>Oikawa's mouth dropped open but quickly snapped shut again when Iwaizumi leaned closer and dropped his voice, "What exactly were you apologizing for?"</p><p>"Nothing, Iwa-chan."</p><p>Kageyama could see the sweat forming on Oikawa's forehead which was odd. Tobio had thought Oikawa was a great liar, but apparently not when it came to Iwaizumi.</p><p>"Oh? Are you sure?" Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow, "If you're lying I'm not sleeping over for two months."</p><p>"Two months! But that'll be a punishment for you too! <em>And </em>Summer is starting! Two months is like all of our vacation!"</p><p>"You're right Shittykawa, it would be all vacation."</p><p>"… I'm not lying." Oikawa murmured.</p><p>"You shouldn't lie to your friends." It was out of Kageyama's mouth before he could stop himself, even though he didn't truly regret it.</p><p>Oikawa barely had time to send Kageyama a glare before Iwaizumi growled, "Wait so it <em>is </em>something? I knew it! You fucking liar!" He leaned even further forward so he and Oikawa's faces were no more than a couple inches apart. "Spit it out, Tooru."</p><p>"No Shittykawa? You're going to make me cry, Iwa-chan."</p><p>"Answer me! What'd you say to Kageyama, I know it was something shitty!" Iwaizumi was still snarling his words, but it was quiet enough no one heard but the three of them.</p><p>"It was months ago, it's not that big a deal."</p><p>"Then why are you hiding it? Is it cus you know I'm gonna be pissed at you?"</p><p>"Maybe," Oikawa said, dragging out the word, tilting his head up and away from Iwaizumi glaring up at him.</p><p>"Well it's too late! I'm already pissed so what is it? I know Kageyama will tell me if you don't, and if he's the one who tells me whatever shit you did, I'll start spilling your secrets to your mother."</p><p>"That means I'll be grounded forever." Oikawa whined, and pouted.</p><p>"That's right, so you better fess up."</p><p>"I called him weird and annoying, Iwa-chan, okay? And I may have teased him a little about being scared of the dark and took his bag for a minute but that's it. And I gave the bag back too and I didn't even drop it once even though it was heavy as fuck."</p><p>"Noodle arms."</p><p>"See! You let him get away with everything, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa accused, pointing at Tobio.</p><p>"You are literally giving me a headache, Shittykawa, stop shouting." Iwaizumi put a hand to his forehead.</p><p>Kageyama thought it was a little worse than Oikawa was making his teasing out to be, but he also didn't know they were soulmates. He didn't know how seeing those words on Oikawa's arms would affect him.</p><p>If their relationship was normal, Kageyama would've been sad because his senpai didn't like him. Instead, Kageyama was devastated because his <em>soulmate </em>didn't want him.</p><p>"Okay," Iwaizumi said, seeming to finally gain enough patience to continue. "Oikawa, apologize to Kageyama."</p><p>"What! This is ridiculous, we don't need you to play peacemaker and are totally fine on our own!" he looked to Kageyama for support but Tobio gave none.</p><p>"Go on," Iwaizumi said, his voice taking on a slightly gentler tone this time but one that still held no room for argument. "It's okay."</p><p>Oikawa glared at the ground and then glared at Tobio who glared right back.</p><p>Seeing that he was getting nowhere by glaring, Oikawa huffed out a groaned, "Sorry."</p><p>"Mean it."</p><p>"But I don't! He is weird and annoying! And you call me annoying all the time!"</p><p>"That's because you are. Kageyama is not annoying to anyone else but you, and you're annoying to everyone but yourself. Plus, knowing you, I bet you said a lot of other nasty things to accompany it."</p><p>Iwaizumi wasn't exactly wrong about that.</p><p>"Fine." Oikawa turned to Kageyama, "I'm sorry."</p><p>Iwaizumi gave a doubtful look and Oikawa growled, "What do you want me to do, get on my hands and knees and beg him for forgiveness with tears in my eyes!"</p><p>Iwaizumi rolled his eyes before turning to Tobio, "Okay, Kageyama. Apologize for calling his arms noodles."</p><p>"You said the same thing to me! In fact you're the one who started calling me that!" Oikawa cried.</p><p>Kageyama couldn't truly tell but it felt like Iwaizumi wanted to chop Oikawa's head off and burn his body to ash but just said, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, Tooru."</p><p>"Me too." Kageyama said, though he wasn't really. If Tobio could take Oikawa calling him weird and annoying then Oikawa could reap what he sewed and live with being noodle arms forevermore.</p><p>The only one out of the trio who actually knew about their bond, Kageyama supposed Iwaizumi was how his and Oikawa's relationship balanced out.</p><p>Iwaizumi was there to keep them both in line so to say, but mostly Oikawa since he was almost always mean first. Kageyama had a feeling with age Oikawa's mean streak would grow worse instead of better, with or without Iwaizumi, and that would just cause trouble.</p><p>Now that apologies had been given out, though Oikawa was still complaining and being even clinger than usual they all moved to a park nearby. Kageyama knew this wouldn't be the end of Oikawa calling him annoying or weird or the end of Oikawa being noodle arms, but at least Iwaizumi tried. Now they all lounged in the park where the sun was beating down, Iwaizumi and Kageyama sitting side by side. Oikawa was lazily laying in Iwaizumi's lap staring up at the sky and eating a meat bun.</p><p>"You're getting food all over me." Iwaizumi commented but didn't do anything to get Oikawa to move and the other boy didn't respond at all, just took another bite and burrowed his head into Iwaizumi's stomach.</p><p>All around them was soft chatter from the rest of the team and a little further into the park a group of boys were loudly running around and talking and Kageyama found this nice.</p><p>He almost wished things could stay just like this forever.</p><p>But with the first sign of the sun setting the spell broke.</p><p>Everything changed so suddenly.</p><p>Kageyama had to go home and so did Oikawa and Iwaizumi, so did all his volleyball team. He supposed this moment was practice for what the real goodbye would be like because this felt more heartbreaking than a simple, 'see you tomorrow'.</p><p>Kageyama didn't know if anyone but him felt that way, but judging from the way Oikawa and Iwaizumi stayed for longer than necessary they might've.</p><p>He waited until everyone left and he couldn't see Iwaizumi or Oikawa anymore before starting home, once again all alone. Once again watching them leave without him.</p><p>Just the same as he watched them a few weeks later, when they graduated.</p><p>So this was what goodbye felt like. Something that squeezed his heart and wouldn't let go.</p><p>Kageyama said goodbye to a lot of things. Oikawa and Iwaizumi, the other third years on his volleyball team, his soulmates, the days they all spent together. The laughs and cries and frustration. All of it, gone forever, something so brief had Kageyama truly taken the time to appreciate it? Because even if they all met some time later, which they probably would, it would never really be the same ever again.</p><p>First year was over.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Development. This is where things get fun. Also, I just realized I sounded super rushed last chapter. Like, incredibly rushed lol, and that was because I had to leave right then and wasn't going to be back until late and would be too tired. So anyway, here's the next chappy, and I actually did revise anything and cut entire scenes which almost worries me, but I'm sure it's fine lol. Anyway, I'm getting kind of busy with school so we'll see if I can get a chapter out, and if not probably by this weekend maybe. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, comments are lovely!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, thank you guys so much, this fic has really grown fast in just a month! I love all your support, you guys make this fic possible!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Summer started out fine enough, even though Kageyama could've done without the nightmares that began late at night and woke him up early in the morning.</p><p>His mother was up with him more than once, and he didn't know if that was because he was too loud, or if it was because she was a light sleeper.</p><p>Either way he appreciated the few moments of company that gave him.</p><p>The worst part about these nightmares though was that he could never remember what the dreams were about. They were gone the moment he awoke, leaving only the feeling they'd created behind.</p><p>"Where did you get the nightlight?" his mother asked one night while she sat on the edge of his bed.</p><p>Kageyama shifted in bed, "A classmate. It was a gift and I figured it would be rude not to utilize it."</p><p>"I see." She didn't say anything else about it.</p><p>His mother wasn't very good at comforting him when he was upset. It was obvious to him she didn't know what to do, even if he wasn't crying.</p><p>Kageyama didn't like crying, especially since he knew his parents didn't like it.</p><p>His father said he was too old, and his mother panicked. He was fairly sure he got some of his social ineptitude from her. So while Tobio appreciated his mother's logic and ability to remain calm for the most part, it made her rather emotionally unavailable.</p><p>Which left his father, who could be helpful sometimes, but could also barely handle his own emotions and couldn't help Kageyama control his all that often.</p><p>"Do you have any idea why you're getting nightmares?" she asked.</p><p>"No." Kageyama murmured, glancing up, her face barely visible from the faint light.</p><p>"You aren't watching any scary things, right? No one at school has been telling you stories."</p><p>"No, mama. I can't even remember what the dreams are about." Somehow he knew it was the same one every time, however.</p><p>He watched a small, tight smile stretch across her face before she said, "Do you think you will be able to go back to sleep now?"</p><p>"Yes, mama. I think so… but um, I'm just wondering, how do you keep knowing I wake up."</p><p>"Sometimes I can't sleep. I hear you."</p><p>"Oh… well, thank you, for coming to check in me.'</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>The older he got, the more he knew his parents. He was fairly sure he'd imagined most of his mother's easy affection from when he was a small child, but he'd also realized she might not be intentionally cold with him.</p><p>She acted the same way around his father for the most part, and anyone she talked to. Most of the things he didn't like, were just her. She was stiff, emotionally detached, and overall, a cold person.</p><p>He noticed when she didn't hug him, when she didn't understand his emotions but tried to logically fix the problem, and began panicking if it didn't work.</p><p>"If you need me, just wake me up." She whispered.</p><p>His mother was still a stranger to him. He didn't know her at all, and detached or not, it was entirely her fault that they were strangers. Both his parent's faults.</p><p>Kageyama knew he couldn't trust them with anything actually important to him. Knew they would overreact.</p><p>He thought they tried, he thought they truly did, but it wasn't enough for him.</p><p>"Okay, mama, I will."</p><p>After that she left without even squeezing his hand. He didn't really mind though, he expected that. Didn't stop him from feeling like something was missing.</p><hr/><p>During Summer, it was usually just him and his mother. Kageyama helped her around the house, though no matter how much he helped she always seemed to find something else to do. When she couldn't she would just wander around the house with a dissatisfied look until Kageyama suggested something.</p><p>"Mama, maybe this summer we should try to find friends."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Well, isn't it just a little boring being in the house all the time, just making food and cleaning?" sometimes he convinced his mother to take a break, told her they deserved to watch a movie.</p><p>She always fell asleep though, or got up during the middle to do something else, like she couldn't sit still unless she was sleeping.</p><p>"It's not that boring." She dismissed.</p><p>Kageyama huffed quietly, disheartened by her answer, but not put out. "Mama, what will you do when I leave?" he asked.</p><p>"Don't talk about that." She said placidly. "That's not for another five years or so."</p><p>"But what will you do?"</p><p>"I don't see why I would do anything."</p><p>Kageyama let out a small sigh, "Mama, you dedicate most of your life to me. What will you do when I'm not here? Won't you feel lonely?</p><p>"I'll have your father."</p><p>"He's only home for a couple hours of every day. Then you guys go to sleep. You'll be alone the entire day."</p><p>"I don't mind that." She answered and Kageyama fell silent. "I don't very much enjoy people as a whole. I don't feel the need to talk with them."</p><p>"Then what about papa? You had to talk to him, you married him after all."</p><p>"Your papa was not exactly planned. We had one night, and that's all it was supposed to be. But then I became pregnant, and we did what we thought would be best for you.</p><p>"And if you hadn't gotten pregnant, would you be together?"</p><p>"Most likely not."</p><p>"… Would you be with your soulmate?"</p><p>"No." his mother furrowed her eyebrows "I don't understand why you are so obsessed with our soulmates or soulmates in general." She spared him a narrowed-eyed glance.</p><p>"It's just that soulmates are supposed to be perfect for you, right? And—"</p><p>"Bullshit."</p><p>Kageyama flinched, surprised because his mother never cussed. He couldn't remember the last time she had so he supposed it was before he was born or too far back for him to remember.</p><p>"It's not true." She murmured. "What even decides soulmates, what power makes these decisions for us. She wasn't perfect for me." His mother let out a breathy laugh but had no expression on her face. "She was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I don't know what determines who's your soulmate, and I suppose in the end I don't really care. But soulmates aren't the things they teach in school. They are painful, and horrible. I never cared about being perfectly fit for another human being, never wanted to be."</p><p>"Why not?" Kageyama was genuinely confused. Being perfect for someone sounded like an amazing thing to him, something he still desperately wanted.</p><p>"I didn't owe her anything… I really didn't. Perfect for her or not, I didn't owe her anything. I think that… soulmates change your life…" she paused. "For better or worse, anyway. And I think that outcome depends where and when you meet them."</p><p>Kageyama still didn't really understand, but he could see where she was coming from. He didn't owe Iwaizumi and Oikawa a relationship, and they didn't owe him one. Just because they all were soulmates shouldn't mean they had an obligation to make things work. Kageyama already accepted that fact.</p><p>If Oikawa and Iwaizumi had pushed the fact they were soulmates to push him to do anything before he was ready, he supposed he might hate the idea of soulmates as well.</p><p>Like anything, the concept had ups and downs.</p><p>"I was frustrated that night, so was he I guess." His mother continued. "And we did something we never would've in any other circumstances."</p><p>"And you got pregnant?"</p><p>"Yes. We never would've seen each other again, except for you. And… it gave me an escape. I left her for him. I felt in control, that this was something I was choosing. I could've easily never told your father anything and had you grow up with me and my soulmate. But that was worse."</p><p>"You hate her?" the pieces Kageyama hadn't understood were slowly coming together.</p><p>He was hearing his mother's side of the story now. All he had to figure out now was his father, who would be much harder to pry information out of.</p><p>He still might have to go to his grandparents, even though he now realized that whatever story he got would probably be skewed to make his mother seem horrible and his father a victim who lost his way, or something like that.</p><p>"You were the only way I could leave without feeling guilty. And when I found out your father hated his soulmate as well, it was a matter of escape for us Maybe it wasn't best to get married, we hardly knew each other… but I think it was better than whatever else could've happened."</p><p>"You're happy?"</p><p>"As much as I can be." She paused and reached over to grab his arm. "These marks on your arm are a trap." She whispered to him, icy blue eyes now burning into him as if she knew what he truly wanted. "They're meant to hurt you. There's no guarantee they truly love you, it could very well be just the soulmarks talking. Of all the things I thought I'd have control of, it was my partner. I'll admit, the idea of soulmates sounded okay at eight years old, but as I grew up, I realized that the 'love' soulmates share is only what they train you to believe. Your father gave me some control over that, and to this day I think we may have saved each other."</p><p>"So…" Kageyama have no idea what to say.</p><p>"You have two soulmates, yes?"</p><p>Tobio nodded.</p><p>"Well, if you want to know whether they truly love you, never show them the marks. Could they fall in love with you, if they didn't know you were their soulmate?"</p><p>Tobio had no idea.</p><p>"If not, I suppose you have your answer.</p><p>Then, she let go of Kageyama's arm and reaches down, "Mama, what are you—" she yanked up the sleeves of her own shirt to reveal marks.</p><p>Hundreds and hundreds of soul markings. The words traveled up her arm, disappearing into her sleeves, written in pen and in marker, highlighter, pencil, any and every writing tool.</p><p>"She writes so much. I can barely look at myself."</p><p>As Kageyama read, he could see the words on her arms were nice either. A lot were insults, and where there weren't those there were threats, begging, bargaining, persuading, ordering. All of them essentially said the same thing though.</p><p>
  <em>Come back.</em>
</p><p>His mother pulled back down her sleeves and gave him a tight smile, "Now you know… so you can stop asking, darling."</p><p>Kageyama had no idea what to say. He got the feeling he wasn't supposed to be saying much of anything anyway.</p><hr/><p>Through the entire summer, he didn't run into Iwaizumi or Oikawa anywhere. He would even stay out later than he considered safe to poke his head into shops to search for them.</p><p>It was strange he never even saw them once, but maybe they were avoiding him.</p><p>It made sense. After all, neither of them owed him anything just as his mother had said, they didn't even know he was their soulmate. Maybe that was the reason they didn't really care. Maybe his mother was right.</p><p>In a moment of weakness at graduation, Kageyama had almost told Iwaizumi about them. Or actually, he technically had told Iwaizumi.</p><p>The words had left his mouth before his brain could catch up. However Iwaizumi hadn't heard him.</p><p>He hadn't been sure whether to be relieved or disappointed at the time. Either way, they still didn't know, and Kageyama had decided that was for the best. Especially after what his mother said. What could possibly be gained by any of them from Kageyama being in the relationship anyway? After Oikawa and Iwaizumi knew, would they only want him because he was their soulmate? Shouldn't they want him before that, if they truly loved him?</p><p>Besides, whatever reasons he'd had before to tell them he was their soulmate sounded foolish to him now. It wasn't as if them knowing he was their soulmate would suddenly allow him more freedom, Even if they did find out somehow, he wasn't sure if he'd be ready to date them even if they welcomed him with open arms.</p><p>Something like that had always been a fantasy. Something he'd always thought he'd wanted, but now, thinking more deeply on it, he wasn't sure.</p><p>On top of what his mother said, he felt a little young, a little inexperienced. Much too awkward, and he didn't even quite feel comfortable in his own skin. It was hard for him to connect, it was hard for him to really know if he was conversing well or if the other person was just picking up his slack.</p><p>Kageyama's thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a flurry of orange hair bolting into his vision and a loud, "Hey, earth to Yamayama-kun!"</p><p>Kageyama blinked and batted away the hand Hinata was waving in front of his face. "I was thinking!" Kageyama grumbled, not liking Hinata's interrupting.</p><p>"Pay attention to me," Hinata whined, "you like zoned out in the middle of my story!"</p><p>"Sorry."</p><p>After his half-hearted apology, Hinata continued his story that Kageyama still wasn't paying attention to, though he nodded more often.</p><p>"Hinata-kun," Kageyama was the one who interrupted this time.</p><p>"Yeah?" Hinata asked, cutting himself off.</p><p>"Have you um… met your soulmate yet?"</p><p>Hinata shook his head. "No," he chirped, "I'm still young though, I don't have to find them right away. Besides, what would I do even if I did find them? I don't want to date anyone right now."</p><p>"Even though they're your soulmate? Aren't they perfect for you? Or supposed to be anyway…"</p><p>"Well yeah, eventually. We still have a lot of time to change though."</p><p>Kageyama fell silent for a moment before hesitantly asking, "Change?"</p><p>"Yeah. I mean, I think if we're this young, our soulmate won't necessarily be perfect for us yet. We're still growing up, and as we grow we're gonna change, right? So I think it's okay if you don't love your soulmate right away, or even like them."</p><p>"I guess you're right." Kageyama murmured. But his mother had been an adult, and she still didn't love her soulmate. From what he could tell, maybe his mother's soulmate hadn't truly loved her either.</p><p>"I know. Wanna get ice cream?" Hinata asked.</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>Kageyama had started stealing a couple dollars out of his mothers bottom dresser drawer for situations like these. His parents never noticed the difference anyway, so he kept doing it.</p><p>As they were walking Tobio asked, "Hinata-kun… do you want to meet your soulmate?"</p><p>"Yeah, I mean doesn't everyone? Have you met yours yet?"</p><p>Kageyama stayed silent and didn't say anything for a while until he finally admitted, "I have. But they don't like me really, and they don't know I'm their soulmate, and I don't know if I'd want to date them even if they did! I don't think I really matter to them… especially one."</p><p>"What are they like?" Hinata asked with a careful look on his face. A look that seemed happy, but also concerned.</p><p>"Well, one of them likes to tease me, and he can be really mean. Sometimes he's funny, but mostly is mean and he only helps me if I really need it. He doesn't like me very much and he thinks I'm annoying and weird. The other one is nice. I think he likes me more, and he protects me and stuff."</p><p>"So you do have two! That's amazing! You're meant for two people perfectly? That's a pretty major accomplishment."</p><p>Tobio wasn't sure. Were they perfect? Actually perfect? Or were they only perfect because of the marks on their arms. Were they perfect because they liked each other or because writing that appeared on their arms made them believe it.</p><p>"Are they cute?"</p><p>Kageyama flushed red, a little startled by the question. "Yeah," he whispered.</p><p>"Aw," Hinata crooned, you're totally crushing! I can't wait to find my soulmates too! I bet they're totally badass whoever they are!" Hinata cried as they reached the ice cream stand, parked on the side of the street.</p><p>The stand Hinata and Kageyama had deemed their favorite ice cream place together.</p><p>"You can order first." Kageyama offered and Hinata nodded, stepping up to order and hand the cashier his money.</p><p>Hinata got chocolate ice cream, and Kageyama had gotten blueberry.</p><p>Now, the first time they'd come here together, Tobio had no idea what ice cream would taste like, but soon learned it was worth a few bills.</p><p>Tobio glanced over at Hinata licking his ice cream and grumbled"… I'm not crushing." continuing the conversation from earlier.</p><p>Hinata glanced at him and smirked, "You are though. And they're totally cute, you think so too! Are they the same age as you?"</p><p>"They're two years older, actually. They'll be first years in high school next year."</p><p>"Whoa, seriously? So you're the youngest in the relationship."</p><p>"I guess so." Although Kageyama was not very happy about it. If they did have a future together, it just gave Oikawa more room to tease him about being a baby. On a darker note, the gap just created more differences between them. And once again Kageyama was the odd one out.</p><hr/><p>When Hinata and Kageyama finished their ice cream, it was time for them both to get back home. Tobio knew his father would be home soon enough, and that meant he would have to hurry so he could crawl back into his window before he got home.</p><p>Kageyama waved, "Bye Hinata-kun, I'll see you next week!"</p><p>Hinata waved back at him, smiling and running off in the opposite direction. Tobio sighed in happiness. He always felt happier after he spent the day with Hinata, even if the orange-haired boy could be annoying at times.</p><p>Once he got home, Kageyama saw his father's car parked in the driveway, and worry started creeping up his throat, making his heart beat a little faster. His father was back already? But he still had an hour before he usually arrived home, thirty minutes at the least.</p><p>Tobio rushed to his bedroom window and started climbing to get back into his room.</p><p>He'd barely reached one hand through the open window before he felt something strong grab his arm. Before Kageyama could do so much as yelp in surprise, he was being lifted forcefully back into his bedroom.</p><p>Tobio felt himself set down on the hard wood floor of his bedroom and when he cautiously looked up, met the angry eyes of his father. Just behind him, Tobio saw his mother, frowning at the both of them and crossing her arms.</p><p>Kageyama felt his heart drop into his stomach. Caught, and in trouble Tobio wanted to run, but all he could do was stare with his mouth impossibly dry.</p><p>"Where have you been?"</p><p>Kageyama was afraid he would ask that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry Kageyama, can't relate. I was always good at lying my way out of things XD I did base the feeling off the moment right before you get caught though I usually used that time to come up with a believable lie lol. Also, how many of you can I get to listen to Nico Collins, only the best singer in the world ;) c'mon, you know want toooo. Also, thanks for reading, comments always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings: mentions of drugs, alcohol, and abortion. Strong language</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Answer me, where have you been?" his father growled.</p><p>"I've been out." Kageyama murmured, not sure what to say or where to start. Should he apologize? They'd already caught him in the act, it wasn't like he could hide what he'd done.</p><p>Now, Tobio's thoughts spun wildly as he tried to figure out what to say. What excuse could he use that was good enough for why he snuck out of the house and didn't tell anyone where he was going? He was pretty sure <em>I knew you'd say no </em>was not the kind of excuse his parents wanted.</p><p>"Where?" his father reiterated, eyes hard, and he was crossing his arms.</p><p>This encounter wasn't going to end well, Tobio could already see it in the way his father had set his jaw.</p><p>"Um… getting ice cream." He finally said. That part wasn't a lie, but he didn't dare add that he'd also been with someone. That would make everything a million times worse, and Kageyama didn't want to get Hinata in trouble.</p><p>The room was entirely silent for a moment, all Kageyama could hear was his own breathing before his father lashed out and shoved some of Tobio's books off his desk. They hit the floor with a loud slam that had Tobio flinching and wanting to cry.</p><p>Kageyama's heart started beating a little faster, the noise gone but leaving it's echo in his body. He wouldn't put it passed his father to start destroying things when he was angry enough.</p><p>Tobio's mother pursed her lips like she was barely containing her irritation but Kageyama wasn't sure who those emotions were directed at. Whether she was irritated at him or his father, she was still irritated and that wasn't good either.</p><p>"Why do you keep sneaking out!" His father's voice filled the room like water and Kageyama felt like he was trapped under it. Everything was muffled by the deafening roar of blood in his ears.</p><p>"I don't know…" he whispered.</p><p>"Fuck!" his father screamed. "You can't do that Tobio! What are we supposed to think when we come up to your room and you aren't there! Have you been kidnapped? Where are you? When should we call the police? Are you hurt? Enough of this shit!"</p><p>His father clenched his fists and set Tobio with a look of barely contained fury.</p><p>"Papa, I'm sorry." And this time Tobio was sorry. He'd made his parents worried, and they had every right to be angry for how often he'd been lying and sneaking around.</p><p>He should feel like the worst human being alive. He should feel guilty, like the world was going to crush him. He should be afraid that something bad would happen to him now because of how he'd made his parents feel. For all it was worth, Kageyama did somewhat believe in karma.</p><p>However, for some reason Kageyama was also angry. So furious. He didn't know why but it was like a little flame in his stomach and it was burning up his insides because he wouldn't let it out. Tobio wanted to cry, but he was so angry at his father for making him feel like this. For making him feel helpless, and lonely, and wrong. So angry for not letting him do the things Tobio wanted, for taking away volleyball, for taking away the right to proudly display his soulmarks. Suddenly so angry for all the hurt, and all the late nights in tears and in the dark. So angry at his mother, for not doing a damn thing about it, for watching placidly while he died every day struggling to breathe.</p><p>Everything was so heavy, so suffocating, he just needed to <em>breathe</em>. Everything was so hot, he was burning, not able to keep the irrational rage inside him any longer.</p><p>"No you're not, you're fucking—"</p><p>"Yes I am!" Kageyama screamed and clenched his fists, "But I wouldn't be sneaking out if you let me do shit once and a while and didn't only let me go to school and home!" he was so trapped all the time with no escape. "I wouldn't be sneaking out if you let me have friends!" He was so lonely all the time, and wanting everyone to know and no one to know about that at the same time. "I wouldn't sneak out if you weren't… if you weren't such a fucking bully!" he finished, most of the pent-up fury inside him washing away with his outburst.</p><p>Now he was left with nothing. Only the knowledge he'd messed up bigger than ever.</p><p>Kageyama had never cussed at his parents.</p><p>Kageyama had never yelled at them.</p><p>And Kageyama had certainly never called them names.</p><p>"I'm a fucking <em>what </em>now?"</p><p>"… A bully." Kageyama whispered.</p><p>Tobio wasn't exactly sure what he expected, but it was not for his father to stand there staring wide-eyed at him, or his mother to look at him like she didn't even know who was standing in front of her.</p><p>Regret pooled in Kageyama's stomach, however, even deeper there was still that unmistakable feeling of rage simmering just under the surface.</p><p>"Tobio, darling, why don't you go get ready for dinner." His mother said at last, breaking the awkward silence. "We can talk about this later."</p><p>Kageyama took the opportunity and practically bolted to the bathroom.</p><p>He hopped in the shower after undressing and thought about how he was going to survive once he left the shower. What should he say? Would his parents bring up what he'd just said when he got down there?</p><p>Well that was a dumb question, of course they would bring it up. Why wouldn't they? Tobio bit his bottom lip and crossed his arms, feeling cold despite the scalding hot water.</p><p>But what parts of the conversation exactly would they bring up? He was pretty sure he'd directed their attention away from the fact he'd snuck out but he wasn't sure what he'd brought to their attention was any better.</p><p>Tobio stayed in the shower for a lot longer than normal and took his time getting dressed as well. He wasn't ready to go downstairs and face his parents.</p><p>He almost started crying just thinking about it, but he knew if he started he wouldn't be able to stop, so he just choked everything back, feeling now like there was a rock in his throat. A burning lump.</p><p>Tobio told himself to breathe for a couple seconds and then slowly walked downstairs where his parents were sat at the dining room table.</p><p>Kageyama's mind raced for something to say to them, but the only thing he could come up with was, "I'm sorry."</p><p>After he said that Kageyama bowed and gritted his teeth together, willing himself not to cry. Having time to think in the shower, Kageyama wasn't very angry anymore. And he realized that even though he was frustrated, he shouldn't have lashed out.</p><p>That was something his father did. Not him. He didn't get angry unless it was Oikawa, in which case he only got mad when he was pushed to it.</p><p>His parents should be angry right now, not him. He was the one who'd pushed. Who'd snuck out and not said anything, who had been stealing which he was pretty sure they hadn't figured out yet.</p><p>Maybe he should come clean about that too. They might wonder how he'd gotten the money for ice cream anyway, and if they didn't think of it now he knew they would think of it later.</p><p>Instead of responding to his apology, his mother said, "Tobio, we need to talk."</p><p>Kageyama <em>hated </em>that phrase. It sent waves of anxiety coursing through him when his parents said that.</p><p>But he just nodded and took his seat at the table.</p><p>"We want you to know," his mother started while his father stayed silent. Kageyama knew that when his father was silent, he was so angry he couldn't even speak, "that we are not angry."</p><p><em>Bullshit </em>was on the tip of his tongue, but he smartly bit it back and just stared into his mothers eyes, willing his mind to go mostly blank as he listened to her.</p><p>"We were scared when you weren't up in your room when I came to check on you. It was irresponsible to leave the house without telling us, you understand that, right?"</p><p>It wasn't fair. He wouldn't have to be irresponsible if his parents just let him have friends, if they just let him play volleyball, if they just let him leave. He didn't want much. He didn't want to do drugs or drink alcohol, mostly because that would ruin his body so he couldn't play volleyball as well. He didn't even want to go to huge parties, or stay out after dark. He was fine not having birthday parties, fine not having holidays, fine waiting to date, he was even fine wearing long sleeves all the time and never being with his soulmates.</p><p>He just wanted volleyball and Hinata, and he <em>tried </em>to understand his parents, really tried. But he just couldn't.</p><p>He didn't understand why they wouldn't let him have the things that made him happy.</p><p>"I know, I'm sorry." Kageyama whispered instead of voicing his real thoughts. Wasn't that what he always did anyway?</p><p>"Not only that, but you were extremely disrespectful when you returned. It is not alright to swear at us, and you've never done so before. Where have you been learning this type of language in the first place? At school?"</p><p>"From papa." Kageyama corrected her, because it was true. He'd learned almost every swear from his father, and he'd learned them all by five.</p><p>"That's bullshit! He didn't learn anything from me!"</p><p>His mother turned to stare at his father with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe, if you didn't swear at your own parents so much, he wouldn't have learned to do such things."</p><p>"It was once and it was <em>months </em>ago!"</p><p>His mother took a deep breath and then sighed, "It doesn't matter where he learned it." She shook her head. "The point is that you shouldn't do it, Tobio. Furthermore, that last comment you made. About your father."</p><p>She looked at him as if waiting for him to continue, but Kageyama didn't really want to repeat what he'd said. "I don't want to talk about it."<br/>"Why?" Kageyama cringed as his father's face contorted in anger once again, "Because you know it was an ungrateful, selfish thing to say!"</p><p>"No!" Kageyama felt his anger flair up dangerously, "It's because I'm not like <em>you</em>! I don't call people names and make them feel bad just because I'm upset!"</p><p>"Shut up!"</p><p>"No!"</p><p>A loud bang echoed through the dining room when his father slammed his fist on the table. Kageyama jumped and his mother pursed her lips, closing her eyes like she was just waiting for the entire house to explode or something.</p><p>"What's wrong with you! You were never like this before!"</p><p>He wasn't? Kageyama bit the inside of his cheek.</p><p>"Maybe I just… won't let you call me names anymore! I'm not selfish! I just want to feel like I'm living!" Every day Kageyama woke up, went to school, came home, did homework, and went to bed. That was his entire life. On weekends he did homework and helped his mom clean. He wanted <em>more </em>than that. "I don't want to be like you guys."</p><p>"Oh really? And just <em>what </em>are we like exactly!" his father growled.</p><p>Kageyama let out a shuddering breath, "You're miserable. Both of you. Mom, all you do is clean and take care of us. Dad, all you do is go to work and then go to bed. Neither of you are happy… but I want to be. I want you to be. But I can't <em>make </em>you happy anymore. It's like… I'm your guys entire life."</p><p>"I have colleagues! And you and that's all I need." His father insisted while his mother stayed silent, her eyes glassy.</p><p>"You have to want something more! Mama, I know you don't hate people. You could have so many friends!" His mother was beautiful and polite, and smart, and he was sure if she could just find something she could have friends.</p><p>"I'm already happy. I don't need anything else." His mother murmured.</p><p>"Papa, what about your soulmate?" Kageyama turned to his father next.</p><p>His mother narrowed her eyes like saying, <em>you shouldn't ask that</em>.</p><p>"That bitch has no place in my life!" his father clenched his fists.</p><p>"Why not!" Tobio cried, wanting to understand more than anything, but having nothing to grasp on to.</p><p>His father went silent for a moment before he let out a slow, bitter laugh. "She got along really well with my parents. And her parents weren't terrible. She was everything my parents wanted for me."</p><p>Kageyama didn't like where this was going.</p><p>"Controlling as fuck, of course. And I couldn't stand it."</p><p>
  <em>Didn't you turn out the same way though?</em>
</p><p>"She loved me, I think. In a twisted way, we fit perfectly. She was everything I'd always known. Still so young I didn't even know I could want anything else. And that night, with your mother? After we found out she got pregnant. The woman I would've married wanted to abort it. She wanted to get rid of <em>you</em>."</p><p>Kageyama didn't like the sound of that either, because if that had happened he wouldn't be here having this conversation.</p><p>"She and my parents tried to pay your mother to do it. Tons of money. But your mother wouldn't."</p><p>"Then the death threats started." His mother interrupted, staring at him.</p><p>"Then the death threats started." His father agreed. "So I let her go, and I will never go back. If you ask me, I don't think soulmates are even real. I think the writings don't mean anything. I think that fated pairs don't exist at all. I think it's all a lie."</p><p>Kageyama wasn't so sure. He thought fated pairs exist. He didn't think those people automatically fit no matter what though. That would make the world too simple, wouldn't it?</p><p>Tobio had nothing more to say on the subject of his father's soulmate, didn't know what he could say. Was he supposed to try to make it better? How could he defend a woman who had wanted him gone? So instead he brought the conversation back to himself, "Papa… I think you should let me have friends."</p><p>"Well to do that, we'll have to meet them and their parents, and make sure their family dynamic is stable, and make sure the child will be a good influence, and of course they can't impede on your studying. Also—"<br/>"No, I mean, friends that I like. I would like to please play volleyball again, and I want to leave the house more. Not on a shopping trip but with my friends."</p><p>His father scowled and crossed his arms. "You think you have the right to ask these things after you just snuck out for hours on end and came back insulting us!"</p><p>"I won't ever sneak out again, and I won't steal money anymore."</p><p>"Steal <em>what</em>."</p><p>"… Money."</p><p>"You are grounded!" His father shouted. "For life!"</p><p>"But papa I—"</p><p>"Not another word! I won't hear of it! Go to your room!"</p><p>"Fine!" Kageyama cried and ran up the stairs to his room. He thought it better not to slam the door, but he did throw his pillow around and cry.</p><p>Tobio had thought he was getting somewhere tonight, but apparently everything was all for nothing. He'd just made everything worse because now his parents were angry with him no matter what his mother had said earlier.</p><p>Kageyama finally got into his nightclothes and crawled in bed, tired from all the crying and stress. He was ready for the day to be over now and for tomorrow to come.</p><p>Just as Tobio was about to drift off, he heard a knock and then his bedroom door opened and light from the hallway filtered into the room.</p><p>"Tobio," it was his father.</p><p>What was he here for? Kageyama didn't really want to talk about anything anymore tonight, he was so tired and mentally exhausted.</p><p>He didn't have the energy to present his case.</p><p>Kageyama moved to stand up but his father shook his head. Tobio took that to mean he didn't have to get up so he settled back down again and stared at his father, wondering what was going on this time.</p><p>"Tobio," his father started again, coming over and kneeling beside his bed.</p><p>Kageyama just looked at his father, waiting for him to continue.</p><p>"I'm sorry." His father said at last.</p><p>"What?" Tobio asked his voice hoarse from crying and lack of use.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Tobio. I'm sorry I yelled at you, and made you feel angry like that. And I'm sorry I've been so… so <em>controlling</em>." His father bit out the last word like it physically hurt him to say.</p><p>"It's okay." Tobio murmured because he wasn't sure what else to say to that. He'd never in a million years thought his father would apologize to him. It wasn't actually okay, but he was pretty sure his father knew that <em>it's okay </em>meant <em>I forgive you</em>. Which Kageyama did.</p><p>His father sighed, "We'll talk about everything later, alright? I just needed to say that first. Goodnight, Tobio."</p><p>"Night papa."</p><p>His father reached out and patted Kageyama's head before leaving his room and shutting the door behind him.</p><p>Kageyama stared after him, wondering what he and his father would be talking about. He was fairly sure it was about his request to play volleyball and go out with his friends more.</p><p>He really hoped it was about that. Kageyama wasn't sure what had changed his father's mind, whether it was Kageyama himself, his mother, or some other outside force but either way he was grateful for it.</p><p>So with those feelings of hope, he settled in his bed again, the covers pulled up to his chin and a smile resting lightly on his face.</p><p>Maybe Tobio actually was getting somewhere now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ummm, next chapter is here! Hope you guys enjoyed. I'm sorry it took so long as I wasn't completely sure where to go with this and also among us took over my life for like... three days. But none of that matters now, because it's hereee, yay! Thanks so much for reading, as always comments deeply appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama's parents, however, didn't talk to him about anything until almost the end of summer. Which was much farther into the future than he'd hoped.</p><p>Either way, he'd been expecting his father to speak with him, but it turned out his mother was the one who would be discussing things.</p><p>She sat down on the couch one morning, which had Kageyama stopping in the middle of the stairway, because his mother sitting down wasn't a usual occurrence unless it was on the floor to scrub some obscure corner of the house.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Kageyama asked, descending down the rest of the steps into the living room.</p><p>She gave a small tilt of her head. "Let's talk for a minute." His mother stared impassively so Tobio couldn't get a read on her.</p><p>"Okay." He said, going over to sit by his mother, mind racing through all the things he'd done lately, which wasn't much.</p><p>He hadn't seen Hinata in a while, but that was because he'd been waiting for his parents and he didn't want to make things bad again by sneaking out.</p><p>"Your father and I have been talking for a while. And we've decided to let you play volleyball again."</p><p>Kageyama's heart did a little flip inside his chest at those words. Of course he'd never stopped playing, but now he truly had permission, and he wouldn't have to lie about it anymore.</p><p>"We've also decided to allow you to go out with people of your choosing."</p><p>"Mama, I—"</p><p>"However," she interrupted before he could finish, "you have to tell us who you're going out with and where you're going."</p><p>Tobio nodded eagerly. He could do that no problem.</p><p>"We'd also like it if you weren't out after dark. Always stay with your friends and don't wander off from them."</p><p>"I know, mama." Kageyama wasn't stupid, he knew that going off by himself, especially after dark , would bring trouble.</p><p>He ignored that he'd already been out by himself after dark without anyone, and been lost before.</p><p>Looking back, maybe he'd done a lot of things he shouldn't exactly be proud of, but at the time it had seemed like the only option. Turned out that all he needed to do was let his parents know his true feelings.</p><p>He admitted to himself he could've handled that better too.</p><p>"In light of the changes," she continued, and stood up, presumably to go get something, "We thought that we could get you something, to make things a little easier."</p><p>His mother returned with a box in her hand. "What is it?" Kageyama asked.</p><p>"Why don't you open it and see." She murmured.</p><p>Kageyama glanced up at his mother's face and then back down at the box.</p><p>He eventually took it from her hands and opened it up to see what his parents had gotten him. "Mama…" Inside the box was a phone, which was something he'd been asking for since the middle of his first year.</p><p>"We've already put our numbers in there," she continued, "and if we call or text while you're out we expect you to answer."</p><p>"Of course I will." Kageyama said. "Mama, I love it!"</p><p>"Very good. I'm glad we had this talk." She said, ending the conversation abruptly.</p><p>For some reason those choice of words also made Kageyama feel like they'd just been talking about something he shouldn't have done. "Uh, yeah, me too, mama." Kageyama smiled at her. "Do you need help with anything?"</p><p>"No, dear, I'm fine."</p><hr/><p>"Wait, so…" Hinata stopped his brisk walk, "your parents didn't know we were hanging out all this time?" The orange haired boy asked one day after school.</p><p>"No… if I asked they would've said no. So I kept sneaking out."</p><p>"That's sad. My mom will pretty much let me go out anywhere, she just doesn't really like it after dark."</p><p>"That's what my parents said too." Kageyama said, twiddling his fingers before asking, "Um, Hinata, is it just you and your mom?"</p><p>Hinata glanced at him and shrugged. "Most of the time. Dad's always at work. But soon there's gonna be a new baby, cus my mom is pregnant."</p><p>"Oh wow…" Kageyama murmured, blinking.</p><p>Thinking of the long nights he'd always spent at home, he found himself suddenly wishing he'd had a sibling to be with. Someone who would truly understand what it felt like to live with his parents. They could've protected each other, stood up for each other, lied for each other.</p><p>It probably would've been great if that had been the case. Kageyama was sure his sibling would've been amazing.</p><p>"Yeah," Hinata continued, "I don't know if I'm ready. Mom's gonna be really busy when the baby comes, she's already busy now. I've never really had to share her before…" Hinata frowned and then looked at him again, "I guess if your mom had another baby though it would've been easier for you to sneak out."</p><p>Kageyama shrugged, "Probably. It's no big deal now though. I mean I think it's not. My parents even know I'm out here with you."</p><p>Hinata smiled slightly, "I never would've guessed your parents were that protective."</p><p>For some reason, that word Hinata used made him cringe inside. <em>Protective</em>. Why did that word make his gut twist, and his heart burn. "Yeah," Kageyama murmured vaguely, swallowing back the fire in his throat.</p><p>"I mean, of course they're protective. I just mean, I didn't know they wouldn't let you go out with friends and stuff."</p><p>"Yeah, I know. Not many people think that."</p><p>Of course they didn't.</p><p>He was pretty sure it wasn't normal.</p><p>Over time, as Hinata and Kageyama's friendship progressed, Kageyama didn't worry as much about talking to Hinata. Didn't really worry if he said something awkward or dumb, because Hinata didn't make him feel that way. Even now, the conversation about his parents and how wrong Hinata was should've made him feel awkward and uncomfortable, but it didn't. He was a little angry that Hinata shoved it off as nothing but he was also glad Hinata was doing that. He didn't like it when people tried to pry into his home life without him initiating the conversation. He didn't really like how much Oikawa and Iwaizumi knew about that, because he would really rather keep that all to himself. He wasn't sure if he was ready for even those closest to him to know how he felt inside sometimes.</p><p>"So, Yamayama-kun," the voice pulled Kageyama out of his thoughts, "have you talked to your soulmates anymore since we last saw each other?" Hinata wiggled his eyebrows.</p><p>Tobio flushed slightly, "Not really. My parents finally got me a phone, but I don't have their number or anything—"</p><p>"Hey! Right! I forgot you didn't have a phone before! Okay, I have an idea!" Hinata said, interrupting Kageyama mid sentence.</p><p>"Tomorrow, we should go to their school. You at least know what school they go to right? Then, we'll talk to them and you can ask for their number!"</p><p>"What?" Kageyama asked, feeling his heart rate speed up in horror at the mere thought of asking for something like that. "We're not close enough for me to ask that kind of question!" Kageyama cried.</p><p>"It's not like your asking for a make out session. And if you don't have their number you can't talk to them and how do you expect to get closer unless you can meet up with them?"</p><p>"B-but what if my parents see!" Kageyama knew his parents knew at least part of his soulmates names due to that night. And they were totally smart enough to figure out the rest and realize who he was talking to.</p><p>"So? There's a thing called a contact name, and you can put it as anything you want. It doesn't have to be their real name." Hinata shrugged.</p><p>"But we're still not close enough! I can't just ask for their number. It'd be weird."</p><p>"Only if you make it weird Yamayama-kun. Plus, I really wanna meet your soulmates!"</p><p>Kageyama bit his lip and wrung his hands together, glancing from the pavement into Hinata's eyes. There were a million things that could go wrong. If he thought about it too much he knew he would start feeling sick and shaky because that's what always happened. "Okay," he finally gave in before he could think of more reasons to say no, "but you can't tell my parents if you ever meet them. And you can't tell my soulmates I'm their soulmate either."</p><p>"Done! I'm so excited Yamayama-kun, I'm sure you three look so sweet together!"</p><p>"Um… right." Kageyama mumbled nervously. "Anyway, I should be getting home now… it'll get dark soon."</p><p>"Huh? Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay Yamayama-kun! See you tomorrow~." Hinata gave him a cheeky grin and a wave that intensified the nervous feeling in the bottom of his gut.</p><p>"Bye." He murmured and waved before turning around to head home.</p><p>It felt nice to be able to walk in through his front door instead of having to climb through his window and worry about a million things that needed to be done before his parents checked on him so they wouldn't know he was ever gone.</p><p>"You're back." His mother said when he walked through the door.</p><p>With a quick glance he saw his father wasn't back yet, so he may have been working a little later than usual. "Hi mama."</p><p>"Can you set the table please?"</p><p>"Yes." He answered and put down his bag before heading into the kitchen, picking some plates and silverware out of the cupboards.</p><p>The silence in the room weighed heavily on him and Kageyama felt the need to start a conversation somehow. "So, mama, how was your day?"</p><p>"It was good. I got a lot done."</p><p>Didn't she always?</p><p>"Is papa working late tonight?"</p><p>"A little," she said, "but he should be home soon enough. How did you enjoy your day with Hinata-kun."</p><p>"It was fun. We talked about teachers and school. We also talked about volleyball. Hinata-kun says he's practicing but his school doesn't have a volleyball team, so he can't play until high school."</p><p>"Does he know where he's going yet?"</p><p>Kageyama shrugged, "He said Karasuno, which means we'll probably not go to the same school again, since I plan to go to Aoba Johsai." Kageyama was slightly disappointed when he heard that, but it also meant they'd probably play against each other eventually, and Kageyama was excited to know who the better player between them was. Who had the better team.</p><p>Still, he kept Karasuno in the back of his mind.</p><p>"Darling," his mother interrupted Kageyama's thoughts, "your father just texted. He says he'll be home later than expected. Would you rather wait for your father and get more homework done, or are you hungry now?"</p><p>"I'm hungry now…"</p><p>"Alright." His mother filled up his dishes and then set to work, cleaning more as he ate.</p><hr/><p>The next day, at volleyball practice after school, Kageyama felt incredibly nervous for what he and Hinata had planned that day. Go to his old senpais new school and ask for their numbers?</p><p>What if they took it the wrong way? What if they thought it was a confession? What if they thought he was flirting somehow? What if they figured out Kageyama was their soulmate?</p><p>Despite all the progress he'd made, Kageyama was still terrified that would happen. Scared of how his soulmates would react, and nervous of what they might want from him even if they did accept him, which wasn't likely.</p><p>"Kageyama-kun, could you try to make your set a little slower this time?" Kindaichi asked, snapping Kageyama out of his thoughts for the third time that day.</p><p><em>Get your head out of the clouds you stupid moron</em> Kageyama scolded himself.</p><p>"Um, yeah, sorry." Kageyama apologized, hoping they didn't swap him out despite all the mistakes he'd made that day.</p><p>"It's alright."</p><p>Kageyama shook his head, hoping to snap himself out of it several times, but in spite of his efforts, most of his sets were off that day, his receives too.</p><p>He was just glad today wasn't a practice match or anything.</p><p>After practice, he and Hinata met up in their usual place, by the store where they'd first hung out. "Yamayama-kun!" Hinata cried when he spotted him, waving and before a smirk crossed his face. "You ready."</p><p>Kageyama nodded. He wasn't really ready, but he had to admit that despite all his nervousness, Kageyama did kind of want to ask for their number. If he managed to get it, he was pretty sure the pros would far outweigh the cons. It actually made him feel excited too. His palms were sweating and his heart was racing a million miles a minute. Sometimes, he was sure he would fall his knees felt so weak.</p><p>In all honesty, he wasn't sure if Oikawa had ever gotten a phone or not, but he could at least for sure get Iwaizumi's. If Iwaizumi said yes, that is.</p><p>"So where do they go to school?" Hinata asked as they were walking.</p><p>"Aoba Johsai. It's a pretty good school with a good volleyball team. Lots of students from my middle school attend there when they graduate."</p><p>"Oh, that's cool. I thought you were just gonna go there for your soulmates." Hinata giggled. "But I guess you have other reasons for it too."</p><p>Kageyama nodded with a small smile. "Yeah." He murmured. "So, um, what about you Hinata, do you ever talk to your soulmate?"</p><p>"Yeah," Hinata said. "She's really nice, but kinda nervous a lot. I don't know a ton about her though, she seems really busy a lot of the time, which is okay. I don't always have a pen on hand either."</p><p>"That's nice. You like her though?"</p><p>Hinata nodded and started walking faster until he could turn around and walk backwards while staring at Kageyama. "So, Yamayama-kun, I've been wondering… what <em>do</em> your soulmates look like?"</p><p>"Won't you see them soon enough?"</p><p>"Well yeah, but I wanna know how <em>you </em>describe them."</p><p>"Oh, okay. Well, the first one is Oikawa-san and he's got brown hair, and eyes, light. He's tall and he's got thin arms and legs. He has an annoying voice that sometimes makes me want really nice ear plugs. Iwaizumi-san is shorter than Oikawa-san, and he's broader with muscly arms and stuff. He's also got a nice voice that I like and dark brown hair that's really spiky."</p><p>"Huh…" Hinata mused, falling silent for a moment before laughing, "I don't know what I was expecting, but something more like- his eyes remind me of the flickering embers in a dying fire, and his hair is so soft. It's like a silk pillow case that I could touch forever and never get tired of its smoothness."</p><p>Kageyama raised an eyebrow, "Uh, do I look like a romance reader to you?"</p><p>"Yeah, kinda."</p><p>Tobio glared and crossed his arms, "Whatever, I'm not like that."</p><p>"If you say so~" Before Kageyama could retort, Hinata added in squeaky, excited voice, "We're here!"</p><p>That proclamation sent another wave of dread through his body. "You know what," Kageyama said, "I don't think we really have to do this, let's go somewhere else, I mean, this would really boring for you anyway, we should just go do something else."</p><p>"Yamayama-kun, you're so close! Don't back out now! Come on, you've got this. You're tall, and nice, and handsome! They have to give you their number!"</p><p>"I don't know…"</p><p>"Hey, those two kinda look like the people you described!" Hinata pointed off in some vague direction and grabbed Kageyama's hand, sprinting towards whoever he saw.</p><p>Unfortunately, as they drew closer, even from the back, Kageyama could tell it was indeed Oikawa and Iwaizumi which made his pulse spike again.</p><p>"Hinata-kun…" Kageyama whispered, tugging his wrist back lightly and then bit his lip when Hinata didn't answer him.</p><p>"Hi!"</p><p>
  <em>I hope a hole opens up in the Earth and swallows me whole.</em>
</p><p>Iwaizumi was the one who paused and took a quick survey around to see where the noise came from before his eyes landed on Hinata and Kageyama.</p><p>"Oh, uh… hi." Iwaizumi said, yanking on Oikawa's arm to get him to stop walking. "Hey Kageyama."</p><p>"… Hi."</p><p>"So," Hinata started, "you're Yamayama-kun's senpais from middle school?"</p><p>Before Iwaizumi could say anything Oikawa scrunched his nose, "Wait so instead of being known to the public as an amazing volleyball player I'm now known as Tobio-chan's old senpai!" Oikawa complained. "This is a disaster!"</p><p>Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, "Yes, we are Kageyama's senpais from middle school. Who are you?"</p><p>"I'm his best friend, Hinata."</p><p>At that Oikawa snickered, "Your best friend is a grade schooler, Tobio-chan?"</p><p>Kageyama flushed and was about to take the bait before Hinata jumped in. "I am in <em>middle school</em>." Hinata corrected. "<em>And</em> I'm even older than Yamayama-kun."</p><p>"Are you serious?" Oikawa asked. "It's just you're so short."</p><p>"Not short, you're just tall!"</p><p>"Yeah, you're just huge!" Kageyama added in his best friend's defense, feeling even more embarrassed for some reason when Oikawa made a funny face he couldn't read.</p><p>"So," Iwaizumi interrupted before Oikawa could say anything else, "why the visit today?"</p><p>"Oh…" Kageyama muttered, "um… no reason really it's just uh… we haven't seen each other in a while.</p><p>"Tobio-chan missed me!" Oikawa cried dramatically and threw himself at Kageyama however Iwaizumi dragged him back.</p><p>"It has been a while." Iwaizumi admitted. "We've just been so busy with school and volleyball and such, I've completely spaced about a lot of other things."</p><p>"Oh, right, of course you have! I know you're busy and I don't want to bother you or anything—"</p><p>"You aren't bothering us." Iwaizumi interrupted before he could finish. "It's good to talk to you again. School going well?"</p><p>"Oh, yes, it is."</p><p>"Well what about your parents?" Oikawa asked, sticking his nose in the air with a sneer that was obviously meant to make Kageyama blurt out something he didn't really want to say.</p><p>Iwaizumi gave Oikawa a glare and then turned back to Kageyama, "You don't have to tell us that. I mean if you want to, I'm listening, but—"</p><p>"It's going great, actually!" His outburst seemed to take Iwaizumi and Oikawa back but Kageyama just continued, though less vigorously, "I mean, it's good. They got me a phone." Kageyama took it out of his pocket to show them.</p><p>"Wow Tobio-chan… I can't believe you actually got a phone."</p><p>"That's um… actually kind of why I'm here today. I was wondering if…" Kageyama glanced at Hinata who nodded encouragingly, "if maybe I could have your number? It's completely fine if not but um… yeah."</p><p>Iwaizumi smiled fondly, "Of course you can. Here," he reached out and Kageyama handed him the phone.</p><p>Iwaizumi punched in his number and then handed it back to Kageyama, "There you go, both our numbers."</p><p>"What! Iwa-chan, I never agreed to that!" Oikawa whined indignantly. "You can't just give out my number to whoever you want!"</p><p>"What do you mean I can't, I thought I just did." Iwaizumi retorted, flicking Oikawa's forehead.</p><p>"Ow, Iwa-chan! You're so mean!"</p><p>"Whatever you say, Shittykawa." Iwaizumi rolled his eyes before turning back to Kageyama, "Anyway, we should hang out sometime, I'll text you."</p><p>"O-okay Iwaizumi-san."</p><p>Iwaizumi smiled lightly at him and waved before walking off with a pouty-looking Oikawa who was still dramatically complaining.</p><p>After they were gone, Kageyama glanced at Hinata nervously, "Do you think I did okay?"</p><p>"Oh yeah, you were great!" Hinata cried giving him a reassuring look. "You guys are so cute, I can't believe they haven't realized you're their soulmate based simply on how sweet you act with them!"</p><p>"I don't act sweet!"</p><p>"Especially with that one. Iwaizumi-san? You're very obviously head over heels."</p><p>"No!"</p><p>Hinata smirked, and started talking in a horrible imitation of a dramatic and flirty voice, "Oh Iwaizumi-san~ I don't want to bother you but let me just look at you with these big puppy eyes specifically designed to make you melt like putty in my hands so that you'll give me your number, your soul, and anything I desire."</p><p>Kageyama just stared at Hinata. "… I think you're the one who reads too many romance stories." He finally muttered.</p><p>"Haha… guilty."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here we have Kageyama talking with his parents and Iwaizumi and Oikawa making another appearance! Yay, bet you guys missed them (maybe?). Anyway, I still have tons more planned for Tobio and his parents however that might end up taking more of a back seat now so that I can focus on Oikawa and Iwaizumi's relationship with Kageyama.<br/>Also more Hinata, we always love him.<br/>Thanks so much for reading, comments always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hinata showed Kageyama how to rename his contacts before they parted ways for the day, and Kageyama went home feeling accomplished and more confident than he had felt in a while.</p><p>He managed to get both his soulmates numbers at one time, and Iwaizumi said they should hang out.</p><p>That only left the question of who should text first. Iwaizumi said he would text him, so did that mean that if Kageyama did it first it would be awkward? But also would Iwaizumi get so busy he forgot and left Kageyama in a state of constant wondering?</p><p>He was pretty sure texting first wouldn't be annoying. It would just show that he was good at taking initiative, and that staying in contact was important to him, right?</p><p>Kageyama decided to give them three days, and if they didn't text in that amount of time, Kageyama would text first.</p><p>With that in mind, Kageyama continued about his day in peace.</p><p>Later that evening, however, Kageyama was laying in the dark, staring up at the ceiling, and trying to get back to sleep after another nightmare. As he was calming down and slowly drifting off, Kageyama heard a noise from outside his bedroom door.</p><p>He thought it might just be his mother wandering again, but then he heard voices.</p><p>Tobio felt his heart start to speed up, still frightened slightly by the dream he'd had. His rational brain told him it was probably just the house settling, but his imagination cooked up something much more sinister.</p><p>Besides, the house settling didn't usually sound like voices.</p><p>However, it turned out to be neither what his rational brain or imagination thought, because when he opened his door, the voices became louder to the point it should've woken up his parents.</p><p>Then he saw light slipping through the crack of his parents door and heard his father's voice speaking more distinctly.</p><p>He realized his parents were the voices he'd heard.</p><p>"Well, what are you going to do about that!" his father's whisper-shout sliced through the air of silence like a knife.</p><p>"I don't know." His mother murmured evenly.</p><p>"Don't play coy with me! Is that letter or whatever it was how you really feel?"</p><p>Kageyama crept closer to the bedroom, knowing it was wrong to eaves drop, but still wanting to know what was so important his parents were fighting in the middle of the night. "I… no. You weren't supposed to see that. I was angry when I wrote that, it was never meant for you to see."</p><p>"Oh, so you can't even tell me your fucking feelings anymore? And have to write it down on a piece of paper to hide from me?"</p><p>"That is <em>not </em>what I said. I didn't mean the things I said in those writings, which is why I didn't voice them to you aloud as they were words I knew I would come to regret."</p><p>"That's bullshit!" his father shouted.</p><p>"Be quiet," his mother said harshly, "Tobio is still asleep. I don't want him to hear this."</p><p>"Why! Because you wouldn't want him knowing that you don't even trust me? That you don't care about either of us anymore? That you wish you'd never married me?"</p><p>"No, because I wouldn't want him to see his father blowing something from three years ago so far out of proportion."</p><p>"If you hated it here so much, I don't see why you even fucking stayed!" he hissed.</p><p>Kageyama moved closer to the door, and opened the door just a tad more so he could see inside the bedroom.</p><p>His mother was sitting on the bed with her hands folded tightly in her lap, and his father was standing with a confused but angry look on his face.</p><p>"I stayed because I love Tobio, of course. As much as you do, and I want to give him the best life possible. Isn't that why you stayed? Isn't that why we did this in the first place?" his mother was staring up at his father, her eyes burning icy blue, even while the rest of her face showed no other signs of anger or frustration.</p><p>"Well of course! But I thought after twelve years you might feel something for me too."</p><p>His mother took a deep breath before she answered, "It's not as if I don't care about you. It's not like I've been pretending about everything this entire time. However, if we hadn't had Tobio, you are not the man I would've chosen."</p><p>His father snorted humorlessly, sneering, "Right, you would've married your soulmate, right? For you they were both loveless because you aren't even <em>capable </em>of such a thing for anyone but Tobio!"</p><p>"Maybe in the eyes of someone as self-centered as you, because apparently when you don't love two people romantically, suddenly you aren't capable of loving anyone?"</p><p>"Self-centered!" his father cried.</p><p>"Yes. And more immature than Tobio, and he is just a child."</p><p>"You can't talk to me like that!" His father took a step forward, getting in his mother's personal space and Kageyama fisted his pajama pants, waiting for something.</p><p>"Speak to you like what? Speak to you as you speak to Tobio? Speak to you as you speak to me?" His mother's tone remained painfully soft and even, as if what was happening didn't affect her at all.</p><p>Kageyama saw his father's jaw clench, and he let out a hiss of air through his teeth. "You know what," he finally said, sounding exasperated, "let's just forget it! You didn't mean it."</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Then let's forget it." His father walked toward the door and Kageyama scrambled back, scampering into his own room, slipping inside with his own door opened just a crack to see out of.</p><p>The light in his parents room switched off, bathing the entire house in darkness, and no more noise came from their room, so Tobio assumed the argument truly was over.</p><p>Kageyama didn't really understand what had just happened, but he did know he didn't like seeing his parents fight.</p><p>They always agreed with each other. They were supposed to be a united force working against him and uncovering all his secrets. They weren't supposed to fight with each other, they were supposed to fight with Kageyama. That was how it had always been.</p><p>Or had it?</p><p>Maybe Kageyama was the one who'd been utterly clueless this entire time.</p><p>This was the first time it occurred to him that he wasn't the only one who still had secrets.</p><hr/><p>The next morning Kageyama woke up and pretended he didn't know anything about last night, and went to school like nothing was wrong. Like he wasn't exhausted because he'd gotten no sleep the night before. Like he hadn't heard his parents fighting over some letter his mother had written. Like he hadn't heard his father say his mom didn't love them.</p><p>"Hey, uh, Kageyama," a voice interrupted his thoughts, "your sets are off <em>again </em>today." Kindaichi informed him, like he didn't already know he was doing terribly.</p><p>"Fuck off." Kageyama growled, his grip on the volleyball tightening. "Just cus you were too slow, doesn't mean it was off."</p><p>Kindaichi stiffened and stared at Kageyama with his moth opened slightly in disbelief. It took Kindaichi a few moments to utter something back. "Um… right, sorry."</p><p>Kageyama didn't respond, and just went to set up another play.</p><hr/><p>Over the next few days, Kageyama forgot about the promise he made to himself, to text Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Or, more accurately, he kept putting it off. There was always tomorrow, right?</p><p>Soon three days turned into three months with no contact between them, and Kageyama's 13th birthday approaching fast. Being twelve hadn't meant much in the grand scheme of things, just as being ten and finally having two digits to his age meant nothing. He was fairly sure being a teenager also made no difference.</p><p>Hinata seemed to think differently. "Being thirteen is a <em>huge </em>deal. It only happens once, you know."</p><p>"I guess so." Kageyama shrugged.</p><p>"We have to have a party. You can invite your volleyball club if you want! And your soulmates."</p><p>Kageyama still wasn't very close to too many of his teammates. At this point he might've considered Kindaichi and Kunimi a friend, but he wasn't sure if he knew them well enough to want to invite them to his birthday party. And he didn't know if they even liked him enough to attend.</p><p>"I'm not very close with anyone on my team. I think that—"</p><p>"Yamayama-kun, we've gone over this. How are you supposed to get to know people if you won't talk to them?"</p><p>"But you still have to talk to them in an appropriate setting!"</p><p>"And what's inappropriate about a birthday party?"</p><p>"Nothing, I guess." Kageyama wasn't really sure how to explain that he meant a different kind of appropriate while still making sense.</p><p>"And what about your soulmates!"</p><p>"I don't know… I haven't talked to them in a while."</p><p>"Well what was your last conversation? They didn't leave you on read did they, cus that <em>is </em>kind of awkward."</p><p>"I mean… no. Cus I haven't exactly texted them at all."</p><p>"What!" Hinata screeched, three pitches higher than a normal human being should be able to shout. "Bakageyama, you got their numbers months ago!"</p><p>"Don't call me that. And I know, it's just that… I kept telling myself that I would text them tomorrow, but I never did, and I guess they got busy because they didn't text me either."</p><p>"Okay… then just text them right now! Don't wait around all day anymore. Text them right now."</p><p>"Hinata-kun, it'll be awkward now. I should just wait till I see them in person now."</p><p>"If you won't send a text I'll send one for you."</p><p>"But it's awkward!"</p><p>"Only if you make it." Hinata said, holding out his hand for Kageyama's phone, which Tobio gave after a moment's hesitation. "Alright," Hinata grinned, "First we make a group chat with the two of them."</p><p>Kageyama watched as Hinata worked the phone in ways he had no idea how and sent a text message.</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: Heeyyy guys, wassup ;)</strong>
</p><p>"Why would you send that!" Kageyama cried, staring at the message in horror. "It's terrible!"</p><p>"Hey! Is not!" Hinata pouted.</p><p>Kageyama frowned at the phone and wondered if he'd get a reply any time soon.</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: Tobio-chan, are you dying?</strong>
</p><p>"This is all your fault."</p><p>Hinata shrugged, "Oh well, at least I'm not the coward who couldn't even send a simple text message. Now the conversation has started and you've got to respond."</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: Um… sorry, Hinata-kun took my phone.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: Oh, that makes sense XD</strong>
</p><p>"Well? Ask them about your birthday!"</p><p>"No, it's too weird!"</p><p>"Ugh, give it here!" Hinata reached for Kageyama's phone which he yanked away out of the shorter boy's reach. "Give it!" Hinata whined.</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: ajfiajfoi;jfes fjaf j</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: aeoijg jiosafj sjfds jfi fjis jfij fdj f fsfh fsjf</strong>
</p><p>"Yamayama-kun, please, you have to ask them."</p><p>"Fine, just stop." Kageyama growled and turned his back on Hinata to type.</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: Tobio-chan?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: Sorry. I was wondering if um… if you maybe wanted to come to a birthday party?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: You and Iwaizumi-san, I mean.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: For my birthday.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: Awww, my cute little Tobio-chan is one year closer to death. Wouldn't miss it for the world~</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>My Favorite Senpai: Can??? You?? Not????</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: :p</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>My Favorite Senpai: When is it Kageyama</strong>
</p><p>Kageyama turned to Hinata, "I don't think my parents want me having a party. Where should I have it?"</p><p>"I could ask my mom. Just tell them you'll text them about all that stuff tomorrow, and I'll ask my mom. I'll tell her I want to throw you a surprise birthday party or something, I don't know."</p><p>"Okay." Kageyama turned back to his phone.</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: I'll ask my mom. Tell you tomorrow.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: Okkkk </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>My Favorite Senpai: Sounds good kageyama :)</strong>
</p><p>After that Kageyama slipped his phone back into his pocket and looked at Hinata. "I think that went well." Hinata said cheerily.</p><p>"Yeah, I think so too. Um… are you sure you don't mind throwing me a party? I mean, I don't want to bother you or anything." Kageyama murmured.</p><p>"You aren't bothering me, Yamayama-kun, I want to do this" Hinata grinned and linked his arm with Kageyama's. "Alright, let's go do something else fun now."</p><hr/><p>The months passed by quicker than expected, and soon Kageyama's birthday came closer. Hinata had set everything up, and while Kageyama was glad, he couldn't help but feel he should do more to pay Hinata back for all he'd done for him.</p><p>Oikawa and Iwaizumi had also agreed to go but Kageyama didn't invite any other people because of how nervous he already felt with just three. Kageyama had never had any sort of party before, and the only party he'd gone to was Kunimi's last year.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't even sure exactly what it would be like.</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: So, um, what time is the party again?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Best Friend: Hehe, Yamayama, u don't even know the time of ur own party?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: No?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Best Friend: Okkkk, it's at one, don't be late~</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: I won't.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Best Friend: lmao</strong>
</p><p>Kageyama had no idea what that meant, so he shut off his phone and went downstairs to tell his mother he was leaving for the 'hang out' he'd told her about.</p><p>"Well have fun, and don't stay out too late." She told him.</p><p>"I won't, mama." Kageyama walked out of the house, making sure to close the door all the way behind him. His mother didn't like it if he accidentally left the door open.</p><p>Hinata had sent his address, which Tobio was sure he could find as there was a big hill close to Hinata's middle school that the orange haired boy lived on. Apparently not many lived up there anyway, so the house should be simple to find.</p><p>As Tobio was walking, staring at a few stores he passed and glancing around at different things and people, he was pretty sure he saw Iwaizumi and Oikawa ahead of him.</p><p>It wasn't as if he spent a lot of time staring at the backs of their heads when they were still in middle school together, it was just that he was good at recognizing people.</p><p>Kageyama walked a little closer with the intention of letting them know he was here so they could walk together, maybe talk.</p><p>Then he thought that they were probably talking about high schooler stuff and wouldn't want him bothering them.</p><p>By the time he'd thought of this though, he was already too close to miss what they were saying, and surprisingly, they were talking about him. "I'm just saying I think he's changing a bit." Iwaizumi said.</p><p>"Tobio-chan is <em>not </em>changing," Oikawa grumbled, gesturing wildly with his hands. "He's still the same little shit who thinks he's a better player than us, just because he's a genius!"</p><p>Wait, what? What were they saying, why was Oikawa saying that about him?</p><p>"Sounds like your own insecurity talking."</p><p>"Iwa-chan, I don't get insecure. It's just the truth." Oikawa said with a scoff and a shrug.</p><p>Kageyama didn't really follow what was going on completely, but he understood enough to know Oikawa was not speaking about him nicely. He also knew that he didn't like it.</p><p>"<em>And </em>he's also stuck up, and a brat."</p><p>"Shittykawa, stop describing yourself."</p><p>"<em>Iwa-chan! </em>Stop joking around." Oikawa whined.</p><p>Iwaizumi sighed and turned his head to look straight at Oikawa, "Look Tooru, I'll admit that Kageyama acts a little strange sometimes <em>but </em>those things you're talking about aren't him acting like he's better than you or whatever you've conjured up. Kageyama is just a little socially awkward sometimes. But don't twist that for your agenda."</p><p>"I don't have an <em>agenda</em>." Oikawa said, his voice sounding more annoyed than earlier. "I just think he's a little brat."</p><p>"Fine." Iwaizumi said, sounding done. "But it's his birthday today, and you better be nice or you can turn around and leave right now!"</p><p>"I'll be nice, Iwa-chan, okay? <em>Chill</em>."</p><p>Iwaizumi huffed out an annoyed grunt, "Good, he seemed happier last time we saw him. I won't have you ruining that."</p><p>"I'm not gonna ruin it, geez. I'm glad Tobio-chan seems happier, okay? I'm not a complete monster."</p><p>After hearing everything, Kageyama wasn't sure whether to feel angry, or sad, or what to feel, but he was a little less happy than when the day started. Maybe he'd read Oikawa completely wrong. Maybe they'd never made any progress at all, and Kageyama had dreamed it all up.</p><p>Maybe they both still hated him just as much as they did before.</p><p>Why had he ever thought he could be good enough?</p><p>Tobio was so lost in his own mind he didn't lift his foot high enough when taking a step, and his shoe caught on a crack in the concrete. Kageyama thankfully just stumbled and managed to right himself, however he did let a squeak of surprise escape him, which was enough for Iwaizumi and Oikawa to temporarily stop arguing and turn to look at him.</p><p>When they saw him, Iwaizumi frowned and Oikawa was outright glaring. "Tobio-chan," Oikawa asked carefully, "how long have you been listening?"</p><p>Kageyama felt his heart skip a beat, and his mouth go dry. His brain was no longer able to summon up any sort of reply for a question like that because it had gone completely blank.</p><p>How long had he been listening?</p><p>He found himself wishing Hinata were here to tell him what to say, how to handle this.</p><p>But Hinata wasn't here.</p><p>Kageyama had to get through this, and he had to do it alone.</p><p>"Were you eaves dropping on our conversation?" Iwaizumi asked, crossing his arms in a way that meant he was disappointed.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure if he'd be able to make it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lol, I wasn't sure if I was gonna hit my word count for this chapter (3k) but I did (barely). I cut the chapter off here cus I wanted a cliff hanger lmao, I'm sorry but not really.<br/>Me: Wants you to know what other characters are thinking.<br/>Also me: Wants to keep in Kageyama's pov<br/>So me: Makes Tobio eaves drop all the time lmao.<br/>Your welcome. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, next is gonna be wild and I am ready! Comments are appreciated.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Yes." Kageyama managed to stutter out, the only real thought running through his mind being <em>shit</em>. "I mean, no…" he changed his answer, feeling an imaginary pressure double down on top of his shoulders.</p><p>Tobio sighed and started again, this time with something he wanted to say in mind. "No, I wasn't. It's just that um, I was coming over to catch up with you and accidentally tripped. Um, because I was hurrying."</p><p>"That's a load of garbage. I may look dumb Tobio-chan but I'm not completely stupid."</p><p>"Why would I lie?"</p><p>"To save your ass, obviously!" Oikawa growled and rolled his eyes.</p><p>"No I wouldn't!" Kageyama refuted with a pout.</p><p>"What's your problem?" Oikawa continued to berate, ignoring Tobio's protest, "Don't you know that eavesdropping on people is wrong? That conversation wasn't yours to hear."</p><p>Kageyama clenched his fists, "Why? Because you were talking shit?"</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes, "So you <em>were</em> eavesdropping. And not only that you tried to lie to cover it up. You know, Tobio-chan, some things are just not meant for you to hear, okay? Sometimes I don't say things to your face because I don't want you to know how I feel. I get that might be a hard concept for someone as stupid as you, but maybe try to comprehend it some time."</p><p>Oikawa's words reminded Kageyama of what his mother had said when she was arguing with his father that night.</p><p>She hadn't wanted him to know she had said something either. She said she hadn't meant it, and that's why she hadn't told him.</p><p>Was that what was happening here? Did Oikawa not want Kageyama to know this because he said it in the heat of the moment and didn't mean it, or did he not want Kageyama to know because he meant every word?</p><p>"It's just that I… I didn't mean to, I was going to try and catch up with you so maybe we could walk together, but then I thought maybe I would bother you, but I was already close enough and heard you were talking about me."</p><p>"I would call bullshit," Oikawa said, "except that sounds just like you."</p><p>"I didn't mean to listen in."</p><p>"But you did! You would've been less bothersome had you not spied on us. I told you he stalks us Iwa-chan!" Oikawa cried, sending in exasperated look at Iwaizumi.</p><p>"No, he doesn't. At least I'm pretty sure."</p><p>"I don't stalk you!" Kageyama shouted, "Why would I ever wanna stalk someone as boring as you, Oikawa-san!"</p><p>"How would you know I'm boring if you didn't stalk me! Also, I'm not boring!"</p><p>Kageyama gritted his teeth, knowing he was in the wrong here, but also knowing that he felt angry and hurt by what Oikawa was saying to him. "Why do you always have to be so mean."</p><p>"<em>Mean</em>? Do you know how many times Iwa-chan and I have helped you!"</p><p>"I don't care, you're still mean! And you're ugly too!"</p><p>"I'm <em>what</em>!" Oikawa squawked. Iwaizumi snorted and covered it up with a cough. Oikawa made a sour face and glared at Iwaizumi before turning back to Tobio. "Fine, then I won't make you look at me anymore."</p><p>"Good!" Kageyama said, even though he knew he didn't really mean that, and felt his heart constrict painfully at the thought of Oikawa leaving.</p><p>"Wait, Tooru, don't go." Iwaizumi said, sending a small, disapproving look at Tobio and seeming slightly disappointed in himself before walking after Oikawa.</p><p>When Iwaizumi and Oikawa finally weren't paying attention to him, and were engaged in their own conversation, Kageyama let the tears well up in his eyes.</p><p>He didn't want to admit it. He wanted to just be able to block out all his emotions and stay away from Oikawa and Iwaizumi forever, and not care one bit that they didn't like him.</p><p>But the truth was he wanted them.</p><p>He wanted them so fucking much that it physically hurt to keep what he felt at bay sometimes. He just wanted to tell Iwaizumi, wanted him to hear that he was Iwaizumi's soulmate and be welcomed into their lives.</p><p>He knew it was selfish.</p><p>All he was supposed to want was volleyball and friends.</p><p>He wasn't supposed to care whether his soulmates were a part of his life.</p><p>He wished he could condemn them in his mind. Hate them like his parents hated theirs, because it would be easier than feeling this way, he was fairly sure.</p><p>But he couldn't.</p><p>Because he just wanted to be loved too.</p><p>He didn't care if they texted him back quickly, or if they bought him gifts, or if they kissed him. All he wanted was for them to hold him when he felt sad, wanted them to like him, wanted them to be happy with him and laugh with him.</p><p>He just wanted to be with them.</p><p>But the only way to have that was to tell them.</p><p>And even if he could work up the courage now was not the time for that.</p><p>"Oikawa-san!" Kageyama finally shouted, interrupting whatever he and Iwaizumi were talking about.</p><p>"What?" Oikawa snapped.</p><p>"Um…" Tobio twiddled his fingers like he did sometimes when he was nervous before murmuring, "please don't go."</p><p>Oikawa raised an eyebrow and Kageyama elaborated, "I mean please still come to the party. I didn't mean to say you're ugly or mean. You're really nice sometimes, and handsome, and I don't want you to go." He said, wiping his face of any remaining tears and giving a small sniffle.<br/>"Handsome huh?" Oikawa smirked.</p><p>Iwaizumi elbowed him in the side, and from the looks of it, it did not to appear to be a playful jab. "Iwa-chan, I know, I know, okay?" Oikawa grumbled, glaring and then turned to Kageyama who slowly stood up straight again.</p><p>Oikawa took a minute before sighing and mumbling out,</p><p>"I forgive you… this time. But for future reference, crying is cheating."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Crying. Is. Cheating." Oikawa repeated. "Remember that, mkay Tobio-chan?"</p><p>Kageyama had no idea what he meant by that, because how was crying cheating? Cheating at what?</p><p>Before he could dwell on the subject too much, Iwaizumi spoke, "I also want you to know that eavesdropping is wrong, and I better not see you doing it on anyone else's conversations. It shouldn't be made a habit of."</p><p>It was a little late for that but Kageyama nodded anyway, opting to stare at his feet instead of looking either of them in the eye. Because on top of all the anger and sadness, Tobio was a little embarrassed at being caught doing something so shameful.</p><p>It didn't repress any urge to know things, but it did give him a reality check. The things he listened into he wasn't supposed to know, and if he got caught there'd be consequences. "I know, Iwaizumi-san." Kageyama finally murmured.</p><p>"And another thing, you shouldn't have been running to catch up with us. You could've fallen and hurt yourself again, and that would've been an absolute disaster. Those shoes you have on aren't running shoes and you really shouldn't be running on the concrete regardless of your shoes. I also—"</p><p>"Iwa-chan, would you shut up?" Oikawa interrupted and before Iwaizumi could respond, grabbed Kageyama's hand and tugged him forward gently. After that, they both started taking off down the sidewalk for whatever reason, leaving Iwaizumi behind far behind.</p><p>"Get the fuck back here Oikawa! I <em>will </em>deck you!"</p><p>"How are you going to do that, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa turned around and taunted when he was a safe distance away. "You won't catch up if you can't run. And you wouldn't want to set a bad example for your little kohai, would you?" the older boy said, a devilish smirk on his face.</p><p>"Why you little…"</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure this was a good idea. He could see Iwaizumi's face contorting in rage from all the way over here.</p><p>"Come and get me Iwa-chan~."</p><p>And Iwaizumi did. Kageyama blinked and the other boy was barreling down the sidewalk, his gaze piercing into Oikawa's body like a knife.</p><p>Oikawa screeched and turned around to keep running.</p><p>"Where are we going?" Kageyama huffed as they ran.</p><p>"To your birthday party, silly Tobio-chan."</p><p>"I thought you weren't coming."</p><p>Oikawa shrugged, "I changed my mind. Humans are allowed to do that you know."</p><p>Kageyama flushed red, "I know!" he cried, glancing down at their hands, feeling a warm feeling that he usually only felt with Iwaizumi rise in his chest.</p><p>"Your welcome, by the way, Tobio-chan."</p><p>"I never thanked you." Kageyama retorted, not moving his hand any way not necessary in case that made Oikawa realize they were still holding hands. Oikawa rolled his eyes and gave Tobio a small, though slightly strained smile.</p><p>He wasn't sure if that look was because Oikawa was still a little upset, or from exertion.</p><p>"Maybe you didn't say it out loud, but I know you were thinking it."</p><p>"Um… okay." Kageyama said and looked behind him at Iwaizumi who was quickly gaining on them at speeds probably only achievable when being fueled by endless amounts of irritation.</p><p>"Is he coming?"</p><p>"Uh," Kageyama's response was shaking off Oikawa's hand, which was something he never thought he'd do willingly, but it proved to be the right choice when Iwaizumi grabbed the back of Oikawa's shirt, almost making them both tumble downwards if Iwaizumi hadn't been able to stop their decent.</p><p>"You asshole." Iwaizumi grumbled.</p><p>"Tobio-chan, you traitor!" Oikawa pouted and crossed his arms while Iwaizumi had his arms snaked around Oikawa's waist, effectively trapping him.</p><p>"He's not the traitor here," Iwaizumi grumbled. "You two could've gotten hurt."</p><p>"So could you running after us but that didn't stop you. Don't be such a stick in the mud, Iwa-chan."</p><p>Iwaizumi scowled slowly let go of Oikawa. "We should get going, the party is starting soon." He said instead of responding to Oikawa's provocation.</p><p>"Okay!" Oikawa sang, smirking at his small victory, and started following after Iwaizumi, and Kageyama followed behind Oikawa.</p><hr/><p>They got to Hinata's house about fifteen minutes late, which Kageyama felt bad about since Hinata had done so much for him, but it couldn't really be help. When Kageyama knocked on the door, he heard a lot crashes and bangs inside and then what sounded like a woman's voice yelling something before Hinata opened the door.</p><p>"Hi!" Hinata chirped and immediately grabbed Kageyama's arm and yanked him inside. Kageyama barely had time to take off his shoes before Hinata yanked him forward again. "Okay, so I have to show you everything, and you have to meet my mom, all of you, come on."</p><p>If Tobio had to guess, he'd say that Hinata was anxious and excited about him coming.</p><p>Hinata dragged Kageyama to the kitchen, Oikawa and Iwaizumi trailing behind them after Iwaizumi shut the door. "Mom, this is Yamayama-kun!" Hinata yelled before they were even in the kitchen, "And these are his two soul… old senpais, Iwaizumi-san, and Oikawa-san."</p><p>Kageyama sent a small glare at Hinata for his almost slip up, who smiled nervously at him. Hinata's mom turned and she gave a small laugh, "Yes, Shoyo, I know, we first met at the park, remember?"</p><p>Her smile and laugh mirrored Hinata's exactly. Kageyama could say with confidence that Hinata was definitely his mother's son. They both even had the same bright orange hair and cheery aura about them.</p><p>Then Hinata's mother turned to Iwaizumi and Oikawa, "And it's nice to meet you two."</p><p>"It's nice to meet you too ma'am." Oikawa and Iwaizumi both said at the same time, bowing slightly.</p><p>"U-um, and thank you for having us." Kageyama added, bowing as well.</p><p>Hinata's mother smiled, "Oh it wasn't any trouble, I'm happy you all are here." She said and then turned to her son, "Now then, why don't you show them your room, Shoyo."</p><p>The suggestion had Hinata nodding rapidly and bolting upstairs without even waiting to see if anyone was following him.</p><p>"Your friend is really excitable." Iwaizumi commented with a small smile.</p><p>"Yeah, he gets like that a lot." Kageyama admitted as they followed Hinata upstairs to his room, which was surprisingly covered in volleyball posters and a few family pictures. It was surprising because Kageyama had no idea Hinata's passion for volleyball was enough that he would spend so much money on trinkets like that.</p><p>To the right of the door, buried in the corner was a small desk, and taking up a majority of the small bedroom, was Hinata's bed. There wasn't much more than that in his room.</p><p>"You play volleyball?" Oikawa asked, looking around</p><p>"Kind of. I don't have a team or anything, but I'm practicing all I can for high school." Hinata said, plopping down on his bed before continuing to talk, "So you two are soulmates? You and Iwaizumi-san I mean."</p><p>First, Tobio was startled by Hinata's extremely abrupt change in conversation. Second, if Kageyama could strangle Hinata without Oikawa and Iwaizumi noticing, he would.</p><p>"Oh, yeah, we are." Oikawa said, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.</p><p>"So, what was it like? Do you feel a special kind of way when you first meet your soulmate, even if you don't know they're your soulmate yet?"</p><p>Did he have no shame? Was embarrassment not a word in his vocabulary?</p><p>"Uh…"</p><p>Before Oikawa could respond, Tobio opened his mouth. "So, Hinata," Kageyama interrupted quietly, "about playing volleyball, what position are you going to be again?"</p><p>"I'm gonna be a spiker!"</p><p>"Even though you're <em>short</em>?" Kageyama bit out, sending a fairly obvious scowl towards his friend.</p><p>Hinata rolled his eyes and didn't even answer the question, but got Kageyama's message loud and clear.</p><p><em>Shut up</em>.</p><p>Everything went silent for a while after that, and not a comfortable silence where you could lie back, and say nothing and everything at the same time either.</p><p>It was extremely awkward, and Kageyama wholly blamed Hinata for making it that way, because he would've been just fine talking about volleyball for a while but then Hinata had to go and ruin it like an idiot.</p><p>The silence continued for several more minutes before Iwaizumi broke it. "So uh… anyway, what do you guys want to do first?" Iwaizumi asked trying to ease some of the tension and awkwardness out of the room.</p><p>No one said anything for a while until Hinata timidly suggested, "Well, maybe we could play board games." The orange haired boy shyly looked over at Kageyama for his approval on the activity.</p><p>"Sounds fun."</p><p>At that, Hinata grinned, hopped up from his bed, and practically flew out of the bedroom.</p><p>After he was gone, the atmosphere in the room calmed a little, and Kageyama felt some of the awkwardness fade. Hinata certainly was a friendly person, but having to deal with not only him but two other people reminded Kageyama that dealing with Hinata's energy and with it awkward situations, could be exhausting. Plus, Hinata could be embarrassing. When they were alone it didn't matter because it just stayed between them, but when they were with others it became uncomfortable.</p><p>"It's kinda funny you two are friends." Oikawa said after a little while of more silence.</p><p>Kageyama felt himself instantly getting defensive, but instead of lashing out he asked, "Why?"</p><p>"It's just you're so different." Iwaizumi said before Oikawa could tell Kageyama anything. "That's all."</p><hr/><p>Thankfully after that exchange, and when Hinata came back with games, the party continued without any other hitches for the most part. They played board games, and talked, and in general had fun.</p><p>They sang happy birthday, which really embarrassed Kageyama, as he had no idea what to do while being the center of attention. Should he sing too, should he smile, should he be doing something with his hands? Was there anything he could do to feel less awkward?</p><p>The answer was apparently no, but afterwards, they had cake and that made Tobio feel better.</p><p>It was later into the afternoon when Hinata said, "Okay, there's one last thing we have to do. Something that everyone does at any party ever."</p><p>"What?" Iwaizumi asked, sounding cautious.</p><p>"Truth or dare." Hinata said, wiggling his eyebrows whilst Kageyama held back the urge to groan. Seriously? Did they really have to play that now? Of all days?</p><p>With everything else the orange haired boy had pulled that day, Kageyama just knew he was planning something.</p><p>"Sounds fun," Oikawa responded, meeting Hinata's eyes with a small smirk, as if this were some sort of competition. With those words Oikawa had made the situation a hundred times worse and sealed Kageyama's fate.</p><p>"Okay, great. I'll go first." Hinata sent a similar look back at Oikawa before starting.</p><p>"So, Oikawa-san. Truth or dare?"</p><p>Oikawa stared at Hinata, as if trying to analyze him and figure out which choice would bring him the least harm.</p><p>"Truth." He finally murmured.</p><p>Kageyama agreed with that choice at first, because truth generally was always safer, but with Hinata's <em>look </em>Kageyama knew he was wrong. "First of all, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"</p><p>"I'm not on trial here, but sure." Oikawa shrugged.</p><p>"Okay. Then tell us how you feel about Iwaizumi-san and Kageyama-kun. Spill <em>all </em>your feelings."</p><p>Hinata sent a glance at Kageyama and gave him a subtle thumbs up. In response Kageyama just dragged a finger along his neck and sent a pointed glare in Hinata's direction.</p><p>"All of them?"</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><p>Oikawa frowned and stroked his imaginary mustache in deep thought before he spoke. "Well, I like Iwa-chan, obviously since he's my soulmate. But he's really mean all the time," Iwaizumi scowled, "and he always scowls," Iwaizumi's scowl deepened, "and he acts more like my mother than my boyfriend."</p><p>"Okay, well with your attitude, you need two mothers!" Iwaizumi growled, rolling his eyes.</p><p>"See? Mean. Anyway, Iwa-chan also takes good care of me, even if it's in a mean way." Oikawa's eyes shifted to Kageyama. "As for Tobio-chan, Tobio-chan can be very annoying and weird a lot of the time but sometimes he…" Oikawa paused, trailing off before finishing weakly, "yeah."</p><p>"No, you have to say it! And I can tell you have something to say." Hinata cried. "It's the rules. You swore to tell the <em>whole </em>truth."</p><p>"What if I was lying about that?"</p><p>"You can't lie if you swore!"</p><p>"Shittykawa, finish your damn sentence." Iwaizumi grumbled.</p><p>Oikawa only held out for a few more minutes but with Hinata's pushing and Iwaizumi's annoyance he finally broke down, "Fine, sometimes he can be cute okay!"</p><p>The entire room fell silent after his outburst. Kageyama honestly just felt confused. He had thought Oikawa saw him as ugly, because compared to himself and Iwaizumi, Kageyama certainly wasn't anything special. Sure Oikawa had called him cute before, but he'd always thought it was just teasing, which was why he was confused of Oikawa's initial refusal to admit it. He was also confused why Hinata looked so impishly gleeful over the admission.</p><p>"He worries about him a lot too." Iwaizumi added.</p><p>"Do not you traitor!"</p><p>Iwaizumi said nothing, but looked more pleased with himself than he usually did.</p><p>Oikawa's face scrunched in a scowl. "Whatever, Iwa-chan! I'm grabbing my stuff and you can hang out here with your <em>new </em>best friends since you obviously like them better and always take their side." Oikawa said, making his point with and overly exaggerated glare and huff as he walked off.</p><p>"Wait, Oikawa-san what do you worry about?" Hinata bolted up and ran out of the room before Kageyama could yell at him to stop.</p><p>"Fucking idiot." Kageyama huffed, crossing his arms before realizing he was in the room alone with Iwaizumi.</p><p>"If you're talking about Oikawa, then yeah, pretty much. I don't know enough about Hinata to judge." Iwaizumi said, fixing him with a small smile.</p><p>"Well, I was talking about Hinata-kun but…" Kageyama trailed off, feeling himself go red at Iwaizumi's stare.</p><p>When it was clear Kageyama wasn't going to continue, Iwaizumi chuckled and said, "Yeah, I better go make sure that idiot doesn't actually leave without me and walk home by himself." He rolled his eyes before settling his gaze back on Kageyama. "Are you coming with us? We could walk you home too."<br/>"I can walk home by myself." Kageyama said, not sure his presence would be welcome.</p><p>Iwaizumi smiled, "I'm not sure Tooru would like that."</p><p>Kageyama didn't really understand that, because he'd walked home plenty of times by himself.</p><p>"Why would he care?" The words were out of Kageyama's mouth before his brain understood that phrasing might sound rude even though he had meant it as a genuine question.</p><p>Iwaizumi sighed, and looked like he was contemplating something before opening his mouth, "I'm going to tell you something, but you can't tell Oikawa-san, alright?"</p><p>"Okay." Kageyama said.</p><p>"Tooru sometimes says things he doesn't mean when he feels insecure. Especially about volleyball. Do you… understand what I'm trying to say?"</p><p>"That…" Kageyama frowned as he thought of the implications of Iwaizumi's words, "that I make Oikawa-san insecure?"</p><p>"Um… well, sometimes." Iwaizumi paused. "But I'm also saying that a lot of the things he says, isn't a reflection of you. It's a reflection of him."</p><p>Kageyama had no idea what that meant, but he nodded anyway.</p><p>"What I mean is," Iwaizumi huffed as he tried to find the right words to use, "if he's upset at you, it most likely isn't <em>your </em>fault. It's just him." Iwaizumi paused and then sighed again, "I just… don't want you to walk around thinking he hates you."</p><p>"He doesn't?"</p><p>"No," Iwaizumi said, letting out a short laugh that held no humor, "he cares about you. He just doesn't like to show it."</p><p>"Like a tsundere." Kageyama observed, connecting some dots he didn't even know were there.</p><p>"Right… kinda? How do you know about that?"</p><p>"Hinata-kun is really into anime." Kageyama explained. "I know all the deres, and I also know about harems, and there's this thing called—"</p><p>"Okay, okay… I think I got it." Iwaizumi said, holding a hand up. "Anyway, we should go." Iwaizumi said, motioning for Kageyama to follow him.</p><p>Kageyama did so, and they both made their way downstairs, where Oikawa was waiting with his coat on, and Hinata was talking his ear off. "Finally Iwa-chan. I thought you weren't coming!" Oikawa said, and crossed his arms.</p><p>"Weren't you the one who told me to stay with my new best friends?"</p><p>"That was obviously a test. A test that you <em>barely </em>passed, by the way. I really was about to go home without you!"</p><p>"Sure." Iwaizumi said, walking up and kissing Oikawa's forehead before grabbing his own coat.</p><p>"Ew…" Hinata whispered and Kageyama almost smacked him right there.</p><p>They thanked Hinata's mom one last time before deciding to head home and while Hinata waved to Oikawa and Iwaizumi, Kageyama walked up and hugged him. This startled Hinata into complete silence, because Kageyama didn't make physical contact. "You better stop whatever shit you're trying to pull here." Kageyama growled in his ear.</p><p>"Make me." Hinata whispered back, almost startling Kageyama into letting go, because Hinata usually backed down when he got intense like that.</p><p>"I'm serious." Kageyama hissed.</p><p>"Um, yeah, so am I. You're too passive, Yamayama. If you really want to be with them you have to be more proactive."</p><p>"I don't have to do shit, okay? Stop interfering."</p><p>Hinata rolled his eyes, "Fine, if that's what you really want, but I'm telling you, if you don't seize them by the throat, they're going to get away."</p><p>"What are they, rabbits!"</p><p>Hinata shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'll see you later." Hinata said and smiled and waved as Kageyama walked outside too. Tobio gave a wave back, a little unsettled by the strange interaction, but glad Hinata agreed to stop all the excessive and awkward attempts to get Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and him together.</p><p>"So, are we walking you home first Tobio-chan?"</p><p>"No. Well, I mean you don't have to, I can walk myself." Kageyama was sure he could get home before it became dark anyway.</p><p>Iwaizumi opened his mouth to speak but before he could Oikawa interrupted, "Of course we're taking you home, it's getting dark out, I was just wondering if we were gonna drop you or Iwa-chan off first."</p><p>"What? You're not dropping me off first. You think I'd leave Kageyama with you?"</p><p>"Mean, Iwa-chan. I'm responsible. I even did walk him home once. By myself."</p><p>"And let me guess? You had no idea what to do and Kageyama got you both out of trouble."</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Yes." Kageyama responded, knowing he was the one who'd found his way back home for the most part.</p><p>Oikawa pouted and crossed his arms. "You two always team up against me."</p><p>"No, we don't," Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "And we really should start walking back, before it gets dark."</p><p>"Okay," Oikawa grumbled and then without warning started speed walking down the hill without either of them.</p><p>Tobio decided Oikawa seemed to have a habit of running away to piss Iwaizumi off.</p><p>"Tooru, don't go so fast!" Iwaizumi cried, hurrying after him with Kageyama following behind.</p><p>When they got down the hill, Oikawa stopped walking so fast and slowed to what felt like a snail's pace to Kageyama.</p><p>They walked in silence for a long time, and they said nothing. It was a comfortable silence though, Kageyama thought, and he much preferred silence anyway for the most part. "So," Kageyama murmured, ruining his own plan to stay quiet the entire way. "You think I'm cute sometimes?"</p><p>"Not when you're being a little shit." Kageyama opened his mouth to respond when Oikawa added, "Like right now," making him snap his mouth shut again.</p><p>"Don't call him a little shit." Iwaizumi said.</p><p>"Oh right, because you don't call me 'Shittykawa' whenever you feel like it."</p><p>"That's different because you actually are a little shit."</p><p>"You're a little shit." Oikawa rebutted.</p><p>"Maybe sometimes. But still not as much as you."</p><p>"Whatever." Oikawa murmured, giving a small pout.</p><p>They kept moving down the mountain together, the sun setting in the distance, and the sky slowly darkening. Kageyama took out his phone just in case his parents had texted him, but they hadn't. And Kageyama wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not.</p><p>They didn't really talk the rest of the way to Kageyama's house, but that was fine with him. He decided to accept it this time, and promised himself that if he opened his mouth again he'd throw Hinata.</p><p>Soon enough, they came upon Kageyama's house just as it was getting dark. "Bye, Kageyama. I will text you. I promise I won't forget this time."</p><p>"Bye Tobio-chan, never talk to me again~."</p><p>Iwaizumi elbowed Oikawa for the second time that day, making Oikawa let out a small squeak. "Learn to take a joke Iwa-chan." Oikawa wheezed, rubbing his side with a frown.</p><p>Kageyama opened his front door with a small smile, hearing the two still bickering, and shut it again behind him.</p><p>Maybe today hadn't been the most conventional birthday ever, but it was definitely the best one he'd ever had, even with everything that had gone wrong.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've determined that Hinata is that one friend you love to death, but can't take anywhere because he embarrasses you lmao. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading (I feel like I keep having to tell you guys something but can never remember what). Comments appreciated as always!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mentions of divorce</p><p>Also guys, thank you so much for 1k kudos, I can’t believe how far this story has come!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Several more months passed, and the weather warmed quickly to make way for Spring.</p><p>Not much changed, really, although he and Iwaizumi did occasionally text something to each other now.</p><p>Kageyama's parents still fought though, and it only got worse as time went on.</p><p>They didn't keep their arguments to the confines of their bedroom for much longer.</p><p>Soon they were fighting no matter what time of the day it was. They started blaming each other for a lot of things, even if it was something Kageyama had done.</p><p>For some reason his parents didn't get as angry if he was the one who'd done something, whether it be to leave something out or forget to take out the trash. But they got angry with each other at the same things.</p><p>Kageyama didn't really understand it, and after a while he didn't try to.</p><p>He simply accepted that this was how things were now.</p><p>Sometimes his father's screaming kept him up at night, and his mother's even colder demeanor made him stressed about nothing.</p><p>But when his grades started slipping because of it, it now only led to his parents fighting about that too.</p><p>Tobio wished the fighting would stop. Stop so he could go back to getting top scores and improving his volleyball skills.</p><p>Not to mention that even his coach and teachers mentioned he seemed a little stressed and irritable which they were right about. He proved it whenever he snapped at his teammates and gave them tosses he knew they wouldn't hit even if he knew they could. At first he regretted sending those kinds of tosses, but now it only frustrated him when they were too slow to get to the ball.</p><p>He knew they could get there if they would just try a little harder, but after Oikawa left, it seemed everyone had lost all their motivation or something.</p><p>To him, it seemed as if he were the only one improving.</p><p>And that was because he spent most of his days practicing volleyball whether it be at the park or in his own backyard, whether he practiced with Hinata or alone.</p><p>No one ever stayed after practice and the captain of the team wasn't the same as Oikawa. Under his watch, the team was slipping and at this rate Kageyama wasn't sure they even had a chance at making it to nationals, only adding to the ongoing stress he was already facing.</p><p>Kageyama buried all those emotions too, and kept up a face of indifference.</p><p>He told himself that if his mother could disguise her own emotions all the time, he could bury his frustration at a few missed balls.</p><p>It wasn't even that big a deal.</p><p>That was the mantra he constantly had going inside his head.</p><p>Until he snapped one day when Hinata missed the millionth receive.</p><p>Kageyama had been up late listening to his parents arguing once again about his grades, and had been woken up early that morning because of a fight about dishes.</p><p>He couldn't even remember the last time he got a full night's rest if he was being honest.</p><p>Still, he didn't expect pure rage to spill from his mouth without any thought to what he was saying or even how he was saying it, "God, are you completely stupid! Even a little baby could've received that! What's your problem? Every time we practice you're slow, you're clumsy, your movements are erratic, and stupid, it's like you don't even <em>care </em>about getting better!" he shouted.</p><p>Hinata frowned, but Kageyama couldn't tell whether it was from hurt or confusion, "What are you talking about?"</p><p>"Your volleyball playing is shit." Kageyama mumbled, already regretting most of what he'd said already.</p><p>After Kageyama's declaration, everything went silent in the park, like no one was around even though just minutes ago children had been running around and people had been walking.</p><p>He already hated what had just happened. An outburst like that was something his father would do, and he absolutely hated it. Kageyama wanted to run away, and hide because he was afraid of what Hinata would say, what he would <em>look like</em>.</p><p>Kageyama hadn't even noticed his own head lowering to the ground until he risked a glance up at Hinata who was just still frowning.</p><p>There was silence for a few more minutes before Hinata finally broke the growing tension. "Well I <em>know</em> that, silly." Hinata finally said with a small smile, "That's why we're practicing!"</p><p>"Well you aren't getting better." Kageyama crossed his arms and stared at his shoes.</p><p>Tobio had thought Hinata might say something about how he was a shit teacher but the older boy just rolled his eyes, "Not everyone's a genius at volleyball Bakageyama."</p><p>A genius huh?</p><p>Oikawa had said the same thing about him.</p><p>He was pretty sure Oikawa didn't like the term. "I know that." Kageyama hissed, "But not everyone's an idiot like you either."</p><p>"I'm not an idiot." Hinata defended himself. "Now you have to apologize for being so mean. What's got you all worked up anyway?"</p><p>"Sorry for snapping at you," Kageyama sighed, and rubbed at one of his eyes. "I'm just tired."</p><p>"Yeah, me too. Homework's just getting harder and harder lately." Hinata groaned, stretching his arms out.</p><p>"Yeah…"</p><p>The homework hadn't exactly gotten harder lately though, Kageyama had just been incapable of finding the focus or motivation to get a good grade.</p><p>"You been talking to Iwaizumi and Oikawa-san lately?" Hinata suddenly asked.</p><p>"I talk with iwaizumi-san sometimes."</p><p>"Have you gone on a date yet?"</p><p>Kageyama choked on his own spit and started coughing, "No!" he managed to splutter out, coughing a few more times."</p><p>"Chill Yamayama," Hinata laughed, tossing the volleyball into the air a few more times before facing Kageyama again, "How about you send me a set now."</p><p>"Not happening, you can't even receive properly yet."</p><p>Hinata rolled his eyes, "Receiving is boring." He complained. "I want to hit the ball. Please!"</p><p>"No."</p><p>After his outburst, Kageyama subdued himself more. Hinata hadn't said much about it but they also knew each other a lot better than Kageyama knew his teammates.</p><p>He knew a horrible outburst like that might not go over quite as smoothly with them.</p><p>Besides that, Kageyama hated yelling, hated stress, and hated letting anything get to him. He wanted to just stay neutral and not have to feel strongly one way or another.</p><p>He was tired of hurting whenever the fighting started.</p><p>The most annoying part of all of it, was when Kageyama's parents acted surprised he knew they would fight about things as if they weren't yelling just downstairs.</p><p>Kageyama didn't like noticing of course, and he would rather just block everything out, which he managed to do sometimes by listening to music with headphones over his ears.</p><p>Often times he was too curious to block it out, however. Even though it hurt, he had to know what they were saying to each other, what they were fighting about, what was going to happen after.</p><p>So far, the fights were only once or twice every week, but Kageyama would lay awake at night, worrying and wondering what was going to happen to him and his parents.</p><p>He'd heard of divorce of course, but he didn't want that to happen.</p><p>As selfish as he knew it to be he wanted to go back to pretending. He wanted to be oblivious again.</p><p>He didn't want to grow up.</p><p>He didn't want anything to change anymore. He liked how things were. If his parents stopped fighting and Oikawa answered one of his texts than everything would be just fine.</p><p>Kageyama didn't want much out of life at the moment, but he did want both his parents, and yes it wouldn't hurt if Oikawa would finally just talk to him.</p><p>The problem with both those things was that they wouldn't just happen because he wanted it. Both scenarios involved other people and as much as he hated it, he knew he couldn't make anyone do anything he wanted if they didn't want to.</p><p>When his father got home that day, there were no shouts or quiet whispers of anger, just silence. Kageyama used that time to shower and get ready for dinner.</p><p>Before the quiet had made him uncomfortable at dinner but now he wished his parents wouldn't talk at all, because when they talked it was more likely they would argue.</p><p>The things he thought he knew no longer applied, the list of do's and don't's suddenly becoming much longer.</p><p>He honestly never thought he'd take blame for things just to get them to stop fighting each other, and for some reason it was easier to have them be angry at him than each other.</p><p>Maybe because he was used to them being angry with him.</p><p>Maybe because if he took the blame it meant he got good sleep.</p><p>Maybe because when it was him the anger disappeared and didn't linger for days on end.</p><p>Either way, that was what he'd started doing, and he never really regretted it.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't an idiot, he knew what divorce was. He knew divorce meant his parents didn't like each other anymore, and he knew it meant a lot of change.</p><p>That was why he tried not to think about it. He didn't like things to change. He liked the way everything was right now, and he didn't want to move back and forth between separate houses.</p><p>He liked when they were all together, and one of his parents without the other seemed much too strange.</p><p>Tobio laid down on his bed, listening to his parents talk, and he hoped desperately they didn't start fighting again.</p><p>He didn't know why they had to fight at night.</p><p>Logically he knew it was because his father was at work all day, but inside he just wished they could fight when he wasn't here. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, but when he could hear every single exchange outside his bedroom, he couldn't help but know, and think, and worry.</p><p>If it wasn't like this forever, then what would it be like?</p><p>What was going to happen to him?</p><p>Kageyama tried to block that out of his mind and get some sleep.</p><p>It was hard with the never ending, invasive thoughts inside his head but eventually Kageyama managed to fall asleep.</p><p>He was awoken at five a.m. by shouts coming from his parents' bedroom.</p><p>Kageyama rolled over.</p><hr/><p>"Hey, Kageyama."</p><p>Tobio removed his nose from the book that had oddly popped out and pulled him in to see Iwaizumi standing next to his table in the library. "Hey," Kageyama responded weakly.</p><p>"So, you told me you were having trouble with the new school work you've been getting, right?" Kageyama nodded and Iwaizumi gave him a small smile, sliding into the seat across from him. "Well, I'm not as smart as Tooru, but I think I can handle whatever you're working on."</p><p>Kageyama had actually tried to get Oikawa to help, but he'd been left on 'seen'.</p><p>"I'm learning functions in math, "Kageyama started, "and in history we're learning all about Japan, and in Language we're reading books and we're supposed to interpret lots of stuff about it… oh yeah, and in science we're learning about elements and stuff."</p><p>Iwaizumi grimaced. "Right… okay, we can do this."</p><p>That proclamation gave Kageyama some hope, so he leaned over and took all his books out of his bag, setting them down on the table.</p><p>"Wow, you're a lot more organized than I was in middle school." Iwaizumi commented, eyeing his notes.</p><p>Kageyama shrugged as Iwaizumi grabbed one of his notebooks, flipping through the notes.</p><p>Tobio was usually a good notetaker, but as of lately the writing had gotten sloppy, and he knew there was information missing that would've helped him do his homework a lot easier.</p><p>"So, you're learning functions in math, right? Let's take a look." Iwaizumi rifled through a few more notebooks before taking the math one and flipping it to the last lesson Kageyama had written notes about.</p><p>He watched as Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes at the textbook, and if Kageyama was paying attention to Iwaizumi's expression, which he totally wasn't, he would've thought the look was kind of cute.</p><p>"Hm, okay, alright, let's take a break from math." Iwaizumi set the notebook down as Kageyama was about to comment that they hadn't even started. "I'm good at Language, can you show me the book they're having you read or tell me what it's about?"</p><p>"Oh… well it's about soulmates," again, "and the main character thinks her soulmate doesn't love her but it's obvious that he does and it's obvious it'll end happily ever after like every other book we read. It's also ancient and kind of sexist, so, y'know." Kageyama grumbled dryly. His school had to get more interesting reading material. Tobio for one didn't want to read a million versions of the same sappy love story that wasn't realistic at all.</p><p>He lived the life of a lot of main characters, and it wasn't as much a fairytale ending like they wanted him to believe.</p><p>His life was messy. It wasn't dramatic or romantic, or perfectly scripted, it was just messy.</p><p>"Sounds rough. What kind of questions do you have to answer?"</p><p>Stupid ones, "I have to answer a lot interpretation questions. Some of them are really simple, and some of them I have to use my own life experience." Which he didn't want to do at all.</p><p>"Well," Iwaizumi said, grabbing Kageyama's list of questions he had to answer, "The first one asks you to interpret a passage in the story."</p><p>Kageyama didn't want to interpret anything about this story, but he tried his best, thinking about word choices, and what the author was trying to say about something.</p><p>Things were running mostly smoothly, and with Iwaizumi here, Kageyama was actually starting to like answering the questions. But then, Iwaizumi came to a question he instantly and absolutely despised.</p><p>"It asks what you would do if you were in the situation of the main character." Iwaizumi read and then looked up expectantly.</p><p>Kageyama fell silent, "Um… what does it mean by 'situation'."</p><p>Iwaizumi chuckled, "I'm pretty sure it's referring to how the main character thinks her soulmate doesn't want her?"</p><p>"I don't know… I don't think it's that far off the mark. The guy acts like he hates her, why shouldn't she think he doesn't want her… right?"</p><p>Kageyama didn't like the funny look Iwaizumi sent him, "Well they're soulmates, of course he wants her."</p><p><em>Of course he wants her</em>.</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes, "Just because they're soulmates doesn't mean he wants her."</p><p>Iwaizumi tilted his head, "… I don't follow."</p><p>Kageyama sighed, "I mean it's not obvious he wants her. It's not silly to feel insecure when he treats her like shit."</p><p>"I'm sure it isn't as bad as you think. Soulmates love each other. Their souls are bound together. They have a special connection they can't share with anyone else."</p><p>Kageyama didn't say anything for a long time before he murmured, "Connections don't always have to be good though. And not everyone stays with their soulmate forever."</p><p>"I guess your right… but those cases are rare. Soulmates usually live happily together."</p><p>"That's not true."</p><p>Iwaizumi frowned and sighed, "Why don't you think that's true?"</p><p>"Both my parents hate their soulmates. And both their soulmates are horrible people who don't deserve soulmates."</p><p>"But… if you don't even know them, is that really fair to say?"</p><p>Kageyama didn't need to know them to know they hurt his parents and probably wanted to hurt him too. "People change," Kageyama said, "it's not very realistic anyway to have one soulmate that's supposed to be with you for the rest of your life."</p><p>Kageyama once again did not like Iwaizumi's funny look or the laugh he let out, "So many people are happy with their soulmates though. You can't take a minority of cases and insist something isn't realistic."</p><p>"It isn't realistic, and it's dumb." Kageyama stood up, "<em>So </em>many things in the world are dumb, and mistakes! Why can't soulmates be too."</p><p>People in the library shushed him and Kageyama just sent them all a scowl before turning back to Iwaizumi. "Having a 'perfect match' sounds like a fairytale, but since when has life ever been like that." Kageyama hissed. "Since when has anything in the entire <em>world </em>ever been perfect! I think soulmates are stupid, I think they give people false hope that everything will be okay once you meet your soulmate, but that's not how it <em>works</em>."</p><p>Kageyama wasn't stupid. He knew that the world didn't just hand out happy endings for free, yet so many people acted like soulmates were the answer to life's problems. In so many books of romance when the soulmates got together everything seemed to magically right itself.</p><p>But Kageyama was here, standing next to his soulmate who didn't even know he was his soulmate, but nothing was being fixed. The world left him with unrealistic expectations for what soulmates were supposed to be. So much so that it made him forget soulmates were only people too.</p><p>Stupid people who made mistakes, and hurt him without even knowing, and made things that much harder every single day.</p><p>"You can't say that, Kageyama." Iwaizumi explained, "Look at Tooru and I. We've known each other for so long, and we knew we were soulmates since we were eight. We're so happy together, we don't need anything else."</p><p>Kageyama clenched his fists when those words left Iwaizumi's mouth and started shoving his books back into his bag as quickly as he could manage, not caring that they were completely disorganized, and needing to get out of the library before he melted down in front of everyone.</p><p>"Kageyama?" Iwaizumi looked confused.</p><p>"I have to get home… I forgot I had lots of chores to do." Kageyama murmured as a horrible excuse and basically ran out of the library.</p><p>He thought he heard Iwaizumi say something after him, but Kageyama didn't turn around or even try to listen to what he'd said.</p><p>He had to get out, had to leave.</p><p>He pushed open the door and was met with lukewarm air outside.</p><p>Kageyama panted and felt tears flood his eyes and he tried to keep them back but they wouldn't leave.</p><p>The more he tried to stop and blink them back the more started coming out, leaving him breathless and shaky.</p><p>"Kageyama, why'd you leave so fast!"</p><p><em>Please go away</em> Kageyama thought and ignored him, trying to stop his tears as efficiently as possible.</p><p>"Hey… what's wrong?" Iwaizumi asked gently.</p><p>Tobio felt an arm brush his shoulder. "I'm fine." Kageyama murmured, his voice cracking and certainly not sounding fine.</p><p>"Was it something I said?" Iwaizumi tried.</p><p>Kageyama glanced up at Iwaizumi and saw concerned brown eyes staring back at him.</p><p>He hated that he'd put that expression on Iwaizumi's face. For something as stupid as this. He always overreacted to everything and he made people upset for something that wasn't even their fault. Iwaizumi couldn't possibly know how those words would hurt him because he couldn't even say three simple words to let him know.</p><p>"I'm sorry, it's just that… I get really emotional cus of my parents." He lied.</p><p>"That's okay. You don't need to run from me if you're about to cry."</p><p>"I don't like to let people see me cry."</p><p>He hated letting people see him weak.</p><p>"If you don't want to cry in front of me that's fine, I'll go, but I also don't mind if you cry." Kageyama bit his lip and looked at Iwaizumi again.</p><p>He didn't let the betrayal he felt show on his face, but all he wanted was to break down because of the things Iwaizumi had said.</p><p>Even if that didn't make any sense to want.</p><p>Kageyama knew he didn't mean it, but another reminder that Iwaizumi and Oikawa were just fine without him, still hurt him more than he'd ever like to admit.</p><p>"It's alright." Iwaizumi murmured and pulled Kageyama to his chest where Tobio immediately reciprocated the hug, deciding he didn't want Iwaizumi to leave.</p><p>And that moment was when Kageyama did break down, and it was horrible and embarrassing and he was glad Iwaizumi said absolutely nothing because that would've made everything more mortifying.</p><p>There were only Iwaizumi's arms, and his breath in Kageyama's ear and his chest rising and falling against Kageyama's cheek, and he was glad for that. Anything else would've made everything feel worse that it already did.</p><p>"Iwaizumi-san?" Kageyama finally whispered after calming down, hating how rough his voice was from crying.</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p><em>I'm your soulmate</em>.</p><p>Kageyama closed his eyes.</p><p>"… Nothing."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think I enjoy this way too much... lol, so... I'm sorry this took longer than I thought because I restarted this chapter three different ways and then went with a whole new idea entirely so it took a while.<br/>On another note, just curious, but if you have any pet name suggestions that Kageyama, Iwaizumi, or Oikawa could call one of them I'd love to hear them lol (Ik we got Iwa-chan, and Tobio-chan, and Shittykawa XD but I absolutely love pet names so ya) Thanks so much for reading, comments always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Mentions of physical abuse and they're locked in a storage closet</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Did you really have to invite him here, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa whined, crossing his arms.</p><p>"Be nice." Was all Iwaizumi said in response and Oikawa rolled his eyes.</p><p>"He's just going to spy on me to try and learn my serve." Oikawa turned to Tobio. "But guess what Tobio-chan, I'm not letting you see it!" Oikawa stuck out his tongue.</p><p>"Kageyama wanted to get in some extra practice, and so did you, inviting him to practice in the gym with us was the best solution I could come up with and it's a win for everyone."</p><p>"Hmph, I guess so, but don't think you can just drop by Seijoh whenever you want, Tobio-chan!"</p><p>Kageyama ignored him. "Do you want to practice your spikes? I could set to you Iwaizumi-san."</p><p>Oikawa spluttered as Iwaizumi agreed. "You can toss the ball, Oikawa-san." Tobio added.</p><p>Kageyama could tell Oikawa didn't like the new development, but if he'd wanted Tobio to play nice he shouldn't have greeted him by complaining.</p><p>"Fine, but we switch after ten." Oikawa grumbled.</p><p>Kageyama agreed after a moment of contemplation, and then their extra practice begun.</p><p>Kageyama had been doing extra practice a lot more lately after club, and the more he did so, the more the gap between him and his teammates became apparent.</p><p>He hadn't wanted to admit that he might be a genius at volleyball, simply because Oikawa seemed to hate the term, but as more evidence presented itself, Kageyama couldn't really say the older boy was wrong anymore.</p><p>It still bothered him how different he was, though.</p><p>Made him angry.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't ready to admit that to anyone but himself yet.</p><p>"Okay, time to switch!" Oikawa suddenly called out triumphantly.</p><p>Kageyama hadn't even been keeping count, but leave it to Oikawa to care too much about something.</p><p>Tobio switched out with Oikawa and started tossing the ball.</p><p>They practiced for another hour or so until Iwaizumi said it was best to clean up and go home.</p><p>Kageyama agreed that it was getting a little late, and he did have homework to do, and he was pretty sure his parents would have his head if he simply stopped doing school work.</p><p>He still wasn't thrilled to return home however, never knowing what he was walking into.</p><p>Kageyama had never gone into the storage part of the gym, where the nets and volleyballs went while cleaning up. He didn't like the thought of being inside a space like that.</p><p>A small place, where the door could close and lock, trapping him inside complete darkness with no way of escape.</p><p>"Tobio chan, carry the net in here okay, then we'll be done." Oikawa said, wheeling a cart of balls inside the storage area.</p><p>Kageyama didn't really want to, but he figured it would be okay. He'd only go in there for a second and then he'd be out of there. Besides, the door would be open the whole time.</p><p>So, he carried the net inside, tripping over something in the door way, but Kageyama ignored it and focused on carrying the net to a good place in storage so he could get out of there as fast as possible.</p><p>Oikawa rolled the cart into place and turned to walk out while Kageyama set the net down. For some reason though, the older boy's face showed shock and then panic within a few seconds after he turned around.</p><p>Kageyama turned too, to see what was wrong and saw the storage door slowly swinging shut.</p><p>Tobio's heart leapt into his throat at the sight, but there was nothing he could do except stand there as the door to the storage room shut and locked with a click.</p><p>Kageyama was faintly aware that Oikawa shouted something, and there was loud banging, but it sounded far away, and Kageyama couldn't see anything in the pitch black closet.</p><p>"Tobio-chan, say something!" Oikawa demanded.</p><p>Kageyama tried, but the words came out as a strangled whine.</p><p>After a moment of complete silence, a bright light flashed on inside the darkness, blinding him.</p><p>Not that Kageyama minded much. Anything was better than feeling the darkness close in around him, suffocating him until he couldn't breathe or speak at all.</p><p>"Tobio-chan, look at me."</p><p>Kageyama's eyes wandered up to find Oikawa's brown eyes staring back at him, face cast in shadows and in the unbearably bright light, he almost looked like a ghost. "Tobio-chan, what happened. Do you know why the door closed?"</p><p>"I-I don't know. I tripped over something." Kageyama tried to hold back tears, feeling a little better now that there was some light.</p><p>"Ugh, it must've been the door stopper. That thing is there for a reason, you know."</p><p>Kageyama didn't want to tell Oikawa he'd been scared and ignored whatever he'd tripped over in favor of hurrying to get out of there, which ironically had caused him to be trapped, so he didn't say anything about that.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Oikawa-san…"</p><p>"It's fine." Oikawa sighed. "Iwa-chan is going to find a key to get us out of here. We'll get out soon, don't worry."</p><p>Kageyama relaxed a little, knowing someone was out there who knew they were in here and was working to get them out. It didn't make him feel any less stupid though.</p><p>"Tobio-chan, do you have your phone too?"</p><p>"No, I didn't grab it out of my bag." Kageyama murmured.</p><p>"Shit!" Oikawa hissed. "My phone's almost out of battery." Oikawa paused like he was reading something off the small screen. "Dammit, Iwa-chan." Oikawa turned back to Tobio and gave him a small smile, "Iwa-chan's taking his damn time, that's for sure."</p><p>"Yeah…"</p><p>Everything in the storage room went silent until Oikawa's voice filled the room, "So, Tobio-chan, still scared of the dark ~?" Kageyama heard the teasing tone in his voice and knew there must be a smirk on the other boy's face even though his back was turned and Tobio couldn't see him.</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes. Leave Oikawa to give him peace and then rip it away just as quickly.</p><p>"Yeah, I guess so." Kageyama said through gritted teeth, unsure why Oikawa was even bringing that up.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Well, I just mean…" Oikawa paused, and finally turned to face him instead of the door. "I'm just wondering why you're scared. Some people don't like it cus they can't see and stuff. When I was little I always thought there were things hovering above me as a slept, and I just couldn't see them because it was pitch black."</p><p>"That's stupid." Kageyama said.</p><p>"What! You're scared of the dark too, and you're thirteen! I was seven, so you have no room to talk!" Oikawa screeched.</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes, "Well your reason is stupid. It's ridiculous to think there's something watching you while you sleep. Monsters aren't real."</p><p>"Do you not understand the concept of time? I know that now, dummy."</p><p>Kageyama felt Oikawa's hand pop on the back of his head and Kageyama fell silent.</p><p>"What about you, Tobio-chan? What's got you so scared?"</p><p>"It's dumb." Kageyama said quickly, trying to brush off the question. He was perfectly aware that being afraid of the dark, especially at his age, for any reason was completely stupid.</p><p>"I bet it's not as dumb as you think."</p><p>"I just… I was in the dark a lot… when I was a kid."</p><p>"You still are a kid," Oikawa snickered and Kageyama glared at him and rolled his eyes.</p><p>"So are you!"</p><p>"Did I ever say I wasn't?"</p><p>Kageyama didn't want to answer that, so he didn't.</p><p>"Why didn't you just turn on the light or something? Or like did you have terrible eyesight when you were younger and now you hate not being able to see?"</p><p>"You are so stupid." Kageyama muttered.</p><p>"How is that stupid! I'm just wondering, and it's not like you're saying anything!"</p><p>"Well if you're so <em>smart </em>then you should know that when people don't say anything it usually means they don't want to!"</p><p>"Why don't you want to? Are we talking literally or figuratively here. Like you were literally in the dark a lot or you felt lost and 'in the dark'."</p><p>"This is real life, not Language class. If I felt lost I would say so," Kageyama snapped.</p><p>"So literally then?" Oikawa asked with a smirk.</p><p>"I will punch you." Kageyama said dryly.</p><p>"Aw, don't be like that Tobio-chan. Tell you what, what if I tell you something that happened to me, and if it's anything like what happened to you, then you'll share?"</p><p>"We'll see."</p><p>"Okay then… I guess that's as good an answer as I'm going to get."</p><p>"It is. Now tell you're story so I can tell you it's nothing like what happened to me."</p><p>"Quick to judge, aren't we?" Oikawa said with a smirk. Kageyama gave him an impatient look, waiting to get this over with.</p><p>Oikawa gave a small laugh and then sighed, "Fine, but where to start…"</p><p>"At the beginning."</p><p>Oikawa ignored him, "Okay, well, I was about maybe eight or nine. I know I had my soulmark when it happened. I also know my mom and dad were still together at the time, even though things were getting kind of complicated."</p><p>"Complicated how?"</p><p>"Mom and dad were just fighting a lot. It was complicated." Oikawa shrugged dismissively, "Anyway, I remember it was one night and I was up later than I should've been. Mom had already gone to bed and my dad was out." Oikawa sat down on the floor and Tobio followed suit before the older boy continued. "I… I dropped a glass of water on the floor like an idiot, and it broke. I wondered if my mom would wake up, but she didn't, and I didn't want to bother her. She had been really tired lately."</p><p>Kageyama tried to remember back to when he'd met Oikawa's mother and honestly couldn't imagine her being tired. She was so energetic, all smiles and laughs. He couldn't help but feel like Oikawa's mom and the description 'tired' didn't really fit together.</p><p>Kageyama was pulled out of his pondering when Oikawa continued, "I also knew that my mom told me not to pick up glass and to let her deal with it."</p><p>Oikawa sighed, "I didn't want to wake her up, and I figured she'd just see it in the morning, so I went to bed."</p><p>"That was dumb."</p><p>"I was nine, shut up. We all make stupid mistakes at nine. And don't interrupt, it's rude! Anyway, moving on," Oikawa huffed and rolled his eyes, "I completely forgot about my dad."</p><p>Kageyama was pretty sure he somewhat knew where this was going.</p><p>"He came home, didn't turn on the lights, didn't see the glass, and stepped on it. Of course he'd taken off his shoes at the door way, so he only had socks for protection, which was basically useless."</p><p>Oikawa paused after that and Kageyama scooted closer, slowly moving his hand over and resting it on top of Oikawa's. He wasn't sure why he did as Kageyama wasn't very tuned into his emotions, or anyone else's really, but he could somehow tell this was a hard story for the older boy to tell him. And Oikawa didn't snatch his hand away, so Kageyama kept his hand there in an attempt to comfort him. "Um, anyway he got… angry. And, he started screaming, which woke me up, and it woke my mom up, and… god, I was so stupid." He snorted humorlessly, "I was so, so stupid…" And even though it had been five or six years ago, Kageyama could tell that the memory was still fresh in Oikawa's mind. "Anyway, my mom went downstairs, but I stayed in my room because I was pretty sure I knew what he was screaming about and… and I was scared." He took a deep breath, "There was a lot of shouting, and eventually I heard my dad coming up the stairs. I could tell because his footsteps were heavy, even with glass wedged in his feet. And I knew he was <em>so </em>mad. He threw my door open so hard it hit the wall and almost slammed back shut."</p><p>Oikawa took another deep breath, and let it shutter out when he exhaled. "He asked me if I was the one who broke the glass. My mom was already telling him she'd broken it and was going to get something to clean it up when he got in. I… was scared, and selfish, and I pretended I'd been asleep for hours." Oikawa's breath shuddered. "So he slammed my door shut and… I couldn't get it open." Oikawa choked on the word 'open'.</p><p>At the beginning of Oikawa's story, Kageyama had only been half listening, but now, he couldn't stop, even though he was scared to hear what would happen next.</p><p>"I didn't sleep. There was lots of shouting, and… loud sounds, but I didn't see anything. My mom unlocked the door the next morning, and she had bruises. I could see them on her neck, just barely when her collar dipped and I knew she must have them elsewhere."</p><p>Oikawa was breathing deeply, and sniffed, letting out another choked sound from the back of his throat.. The light on Oikawa's phone was still on, keeping the room illuminated, but Kageyama couldn't see Oikawa's face even though he desperately want to. Kageyama wanted to know what he was supposed to say to this.</p><p>"Oikawa-san… did that happen," Kageyama swallowed, "a lot?"</p><p>"Yeah. I mean, not exactly like that, he didn't always need a reason… and it wasn't always my mom."</p><p>"I'm so sorry… I don't…" Kageyama trailed off, because he had absolutely nothing to say. That night in Oikawa's room, when Iwaizumi said he thought Oikawa was projecting, Tobio had no idea what that meant.</p><p>Now he had a small picture.</p><p>And despite himself he wasn't sure if he wanted to make it any bigger.</p><p>"You don't have to say anything Tobio-chan. But… but will you tell me what happened to you now? That's why I shared that story in the first place."</p><p>"I mean," Kageyama paused, "it's nothing much." Nothing compared to all that.</p><p>"Well if it's nothing, you'll have no problem telling me."</p><p>Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, still not wanting to say, but figured it was at least appropriate now considering what Oikawa had told him. "They locked me up too, sometimes. But-but not for that. My dad doesn't…"</p><p>"Hit you, choke you, slap you."</p><p>"No." Kageyama choked out.</p><p>"But they do other things."</p><p>"Sometimes. But it's not like that. It's not that."</p><p>"Abuse?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded and then realized maybe Oikawa couldn't see him, so he added, "Yeah."</p><p>At that moment, Oikawa's phone light went out, plunging the room back into complete darkness, making Kageyama's gut twist. He didn't want to say anything more, but judging by the way Oikawa wasn't cussing because the light went out, he was still waiting for Tobio to say something. "They don't um... they don't hit me. Or each other." Kageyama whispered, tightening his grasp on Oikawa's hand to ground himself and not let his imagination run wild in the dark.</p><p>Oikawa sighed, and told him something Kageyama had never heard in his entire life. "It's not just about the hitting."</p><p>"I don't understand… what do you mean?"</p><p>"I <em>mean</em>, abuse, isn't just hitting. It's the things no one really talks about. Not in mainstream media, not even between your friends and family. It's also about the control, the manipulation, the humiliation, degradation. It's about the yelling, and the threats, the throwing, and making you think you deserve it all. It's about thinking it's all normal. You know other families aren't like yours, but you don't realize just <em>how </em>different they are. Sometimes I think you never really know how different. Maybe not until you have a family of your own. Maybe not even then."</p><p>"Oikawa-san, are you telling me this for a reason?" Kageyama asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.</p><p>"I'm gonna be honest, it's because I saw signs of abuse. Things in you, that were apart of me too… at least at some point, things that might still be apart of me. And I was curious. Iwa-chan said not to pry, and I wasn't going to, but now we're trapped in here, alone, and I mean what better time than now."</p><p>"I guess so. It's just, Oikawa-san, I haven't been abused. I've never had any of that stuff happen. They just yell at me sometimes."</p><p>Kageyama couldn't see Oikawa's face, but he could feel the energy of the room change, and somehow it felt even more serious. "Have they ever made you feel horrible for wanting something? Just completely sorry you ever asked? Do they judge you a lot? Do they dismiss your feelings, tell you that you can't feel certain emotions. Are they controlling? Kageyama, no offense, but you don't have a lot of interests."</p><p>"Volleyball is all I need. And studying." Kageyama answered bluntly.</p><p>"But don't you ever do anything else? Watch TV, read books that aren't for school? Anything?"</p><p>"Sometimes." Kageyama shrugged. "I have been more than usual. It's getting better. My parents got me a phone, they said I can go out with my friends which is how I'm even here, and they let me rejoin volleyball. Papa even apologized to me."</p><p>"Just cus they apologize doesn't mean anything. That's what they always do, but it keeps happening."</p><p>"But it's not happening. Papa hasn't yelled at me in a long time but… but he and mama are fighting a lot now. Papa's always yelling at her, and mama doesn't yell but the way she talks to him is how she yells."</p><p>Kageyama's mother didn't yell, that just wasn't like her. She did, however, say things that didn't need to be yelled to hurt. "I love them." Was that wrong? If Kageyama was being abused and hadn't even known it, he should hate them. Shouldn't he?</p><p>"That's okay." Oikawa murmured. "If you love them I mean. It's okay if you hate them too. I say that to my mom a lot, that I hate my dad. And she always just responds that he's the only dad I'll ever have. And I know that I just… that doesn't mean anything to me. And I don't know what she wants it to mean."</p><p>Kageyama understood why Oikawa hated his father. Kageyama had only heard one story about the man and he hated him too.</p><p>"She still doesn't call it abuse. She's always complaining about all the things he ever did to us, all the shit he put us through, but she never once called it abuse. And… and sometimes that bothers me."</p><p>Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, "Why?"</p><p>"She's the only other person who lived through it. She's the only person who will ever truly know exactly how it felt to live in the same house as my dad. And when she doesn't call it abuse, I wonder if that's what really happened, or if I'm blowing everything out of proportion, and her and dad and I just didn't get along."</p><p>"But he even hit you. How doesn't she call that abuse? How doesn't she know?"</p><p>"She knows, she just doesn't connect the two things. And I hate her for making me doubt that. I mean, I love her, but I hate when she does that."</p><p>"Your mom… she's so nice to me. She's so different from mama. I never would've guessed that she… or that you," Kageyama trailed off.</p><p>"I know. People usually don't. We're good at pretending everything is normal. We were good just the two of us, and we were even better when he was still around. He was good too." Oikawa said. "One look and you never would've guessed. Even a thorough examination you never would've guessed. Sometimes I still wonder how he was so normal. How he quelled his rage when others were watching but let it spiral out of control on the people he was supposed to love the most."</p><p>Kageyama didn't know what to say to that either. It was obvious Oikawa had a lot of time to think about this, and Kageyama was just starting to realize and he had no idea how to feel about the whole thing.</p><p>"Oikawa-san, am I not good at pretending? Do you think other people know?" Kageyama asked nervously. He had a feeling more people getting involved wouldn't be a good thing. Despite everything Oikawa was saying, Kageyama didn't want anything to change. If his parents stopped fighting everything would be completely perfect.</p><p>But he didn't want anything that he'd gotten to slip away either.</p><p>"You aren't bad. I'm just observant. Sad thing is you don't have to be good. Normal people just won't see. You could tell them so much shit, but they really won't say much of anything. You only hear the gasps when you tell them they hit you. Isn't that kind of funny?"</p><p>Not really. "I guess so."</p><p>Oikawa snorted and then fell silent before saying, "You know, this doesn't change anything between us."</p><p>Kageyama almost groaned, because of course Oikawa had to say shit like that, "You say that, but is that because it's true or because you're trying to convince yourself it is?"</p><p>"Shut up, Tobio-chan," Oikawa rolled his eyes.</p><p>Kageyama sighed, "So um… now that you know, what's gonna happen?"</p><p>"I mean, nothing, I guess. Do you want something to happen?"</p><p>"No," Kageyama denied quickly.</p><p>"Well… if you ever need someone, just text me."</p><p>Kageyama gave a small smirk, "Will you even respond."</p><p>"Only if it's something important." Oikawa grumbled, nudging Tobio with his elbow, but there was a smile in his voice.</p><p>Kageyama giggled, "And you won't tell anyone, right?"</p><p>"Not unless you want me too or your life's in danger."</p><p>Kageyama smiled and curled his fingers until they were interlocked with Oikawa's.</p><p>It felt nice, he supposed, to have someone else know. He still had a lot he wanted to talk about, had a lot of questions and had no idea how to even begin working out his feelings on the subject, but he was also exhausted and wanted to go to sleep.</p><p>Kageyama hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until he was startled awake by a screeching sound.</p><p>Kageyama's head bolted upright, having had it rested on Oikawa's shoulder, and the light from the door made him instantly look away until his eyes adjusted and he saw Iwaizumi standing with the door open.</p><p>Kageyama's memories came flooding back to him in that moment as Oikawa leapt up from his spot on the floor. "Iwa-chan!" Oikawa bolted up to the other boy, basically throwing himself on top of him.</p><p>Iwaizumi's deep laugh reverberated in his ears. "Tooru, calm down." He turned to look at Kageyama, "You guys okay."</p><p>Kageyama nodded, slowly standing while Oikawa said, "We're fine, Iwa-chan~."</p><p>"You weren't mean to him, right?"</p><p>"I'm never mean!" Oikawa lifted his nose in the air.</p><p>Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow as if he didn't believe the other boy, and honestly, Kageyama didn't blame him. He thought back to all the conversations he had alone with Oikawa and definitely took note of how mean he could be.</p><p>"He wasn't mean <em>this time</em>." Kageyama said, because it was true. He never really knew how conversations were going to go when he first started them with Oikawa because apparently they could range anywhere from unpleasant to comforting.</p><p>"Well, I'm glad we got that solved, but we should probably get going, it's going to be dark soon."</p><p>Kageyama nodded in agreement and walked out of the storage room too before Iwaizumi let the door shut behind them.</p><p>His bag was by the gym entrance where he'd left it and Kageyama jogged over to it and pulled out his phone.</p><p>
  <strong>Mama: Where are you?</strong>
</p><p>That text was from thirty minutes ago and Kageyama figured he'd better reply or she'd surely be upset with him when he got home.</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: Sorry, mama, I stayed late practicing but I'm coming home now.</strong>
</p><p>Kageyama didn't get an immediate reply so he shoved the phone back in his bag and followed Iwaizumi and Oikawa out of the gym to head home.</p><p>He had a lot to think about, things he didn't necessarily want to share with anyone else, which left only Oikawa who he normally would've been against talking to about such a matter, but the older boy seemed serious about this.</p><p>Which he should be, but still.</p><p>It would only be a matter of time before Iwaizumi found out too, either from him or from an emotional outburst Oikawa had, and Kageyama wasn't look forward to that conversation either way.</p><p>Kageyama liked Iwaizumi, and he was far nicer to him than Oikawa usually was, but he was also pretty sure he wouldn't get the same kind of understanding. Unlike Oikawa, he might have questions which Kageyama couldn't answer because he didn't know himself.</p><p>Neither Oikawa nor Iwaizumi would ever truly know what it felt like, just as Oikawa had said, but at this point Kageyama wasn't even sure what it felt like.</p><p>But he was working towards figuring out, and hopefully Oikawa could help him along the way.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I had this whole big thing planned out but then I was like ewww too much, and then I tried to say a ton again, but I no, I didn't like that either. Then I got rid of a lot, cus I figured now that I introduced this I have time to say something else later. Also, I loved all your guys' petnames XD</p><p>Also I didn't edit my edits if that makes sense so I hope it all turned out ok T-T</p><p>Thanks so much for reading! Comments always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kageyama returned home, and walked inside the house was actually quiet for once, which was strange. For the past several months anytime his parents got home before he did he always walked in on them fighting, and they would stop when he first came in and continue when he got to his room like he couldn't still hear them.</p><p>The quiet was almost unnerving at this point, if he was being honest. He walked in and set his bag down, taking off his shoes. "Mama, papa?" Had they gone out?</p><p>But that was absurd, his mother especially never went out, and they wouldn't go without telling him.</p><p>Had they been kidnapped? Killed? Would he walk upstairs to find them lifeless?</p><p>Kageyama almost smacked himself. He shouldn't be thinking of the worst possibilities, he should just go looking for them. So Kageyama checked the kitchen and dining room before heading upstairs.</p><p>As he got closer he heard voices confirming that his worst fears were probably not true. "Mama?" Tobio pushed his parent's door open, uncaring about what his parents were speaking about.</p><p>As expected the conversation froze when he made an appearance, as it always did.</p><p>His mother turned to him first but they both paused completely for a moment before she said, "I'm sorry, I forgot to start dinner. I'll have that done soon, darling."</p><p>"Okay…" Kageyama said, making room for his mother to walk out the door and downstairs. When he turned back to look at his father, he was glaring at the spot where his mother had just been. "Are you okay?"</p><p>His father's eyes snapped to his and narrowed. "Fine. You should go get ready for dinner."</p><p>He couldn't place the mood his father seemed to be in, because it didn't seem to quite be angry, but he certainly wasn't happy either.</p><p>Kageyama didn't have much time to think about it because he went to the bathroom to shower and get dressed.</p><p>He knew his parents were probably still arguing about something, though he didn't really care what it was. If he really thought about it, he knew they'd had problems for a long time, probably his entire childhood. It made sense. They only married because of him and he supposed he should honestly be surprised that the fighting didn't start sooner.</p><p>Or maybe there'd always been fighting but it was only now that he was becoming aware of it. He always remembered his father yelling a lot, that was just how it had always been. But he didn't exactly remember fighting.</p><p>He didn't remember a lot of things from his childhood.</p><p>Kageyama showered and dressed before going downstairs for dinner. When he got there the table was completely silent, not that he'd expected much better. At this point, he was lucky if they made polite conversations. However, most of those descended into fighting at some point</p><p>So, the table was completely silent. No one even mentioned that he'd been home late from volleyball.</p><p>Sometimes all Kageyama wanted to do was get out, and then he remembered that doing that wouldn't really make things any better.</p><p>Kageyama liked his house, no matter how many spiders there were, and he liked his room and his things. He liked his mother's cooking, he liked his school and his friends. He liked all of it.</p><p>Sometimes all Kageyama wanted was to grow up.</p><p>Sometimes he wanted to stay young forever.</p><hr/><p>For the next couple weeks, not much changed.</p><p>His parents fought, louder and more frequently, usually about absolutely nothing, but Kageyama was getting used to it.</p><p>That's what he told himself anyway.</p><p>Truly, it still hurt, and the implications of it still scared him, but Kageyama just tried to shrug it off and focus on volleyball for the last few weeks of school. He might as well revel in the distraction while it lasted.</p><p>"Kunimi-kun, quit dragging your feet!" Kageyama snapped.</p><p>Kunimi rolled his eyes at Tobio's command and almost deliberately dragged his feet even more which made Kageyama scowl.</p><p>"I told you <em>not </em>drag your feet!"</p><p>Kunimi didn't give him an answer but it didn't matter because Kindaichi answered for him, "Lay off, he's trying his best. Since when did you give orders anyway?"</p><p>"It's not an order, it's… it's to help him improve!"</p><p>"Well you could put it a little nicer." Kindaichi glared.</p><p>Kageyama narrowed his eyes, "What's the use in that." He demanded.</p><p>"Maybe next time you could ask him if he could approach your set sooner or something, I don't know!"</p><p>"It had nothing to do with the timing of his approach, he was just slow! If he wants to win, he won't drag his feet, and he won't let his <em>friends </em>fight his battles for him."</p><p>Kindaichi took a step forward into Kageyama's personal bubble and glared down at him.</p><p>"I don't need to fight with children throwing a temper tantrum." Kunimi said, glaring.</p><p>"What did you say to me!"</p><p>"You heard me." Kunimi walked off and Kindaichi sent him one last glare before following.</p><p>Kageyama gritted his teeth and decided to ignore the festering fire that wanted to crawl it's way into his throat.</p><p>Practice continued normally, but Kageyama couldn't completely get rid of the feeling. He walked home that day feeling less accomplished and more exhausted than usual.</p><hr/><p>Things continued that way for several weeks, and Kageyama could just feel the growing annoyance amongst the team. He wanted to stop feeling the way he did, but all that did was make him more frustrated.</p><p>He didn't understand why they couldn't understand, if they could just go a little faster, jump a little higher. They could do it!</p><p>If Oikawa had been there, they'd already be doing that, and they'd be happy about it.</p><p>Now that it was Summer, Kageyama had more free time on his hands. Sometimes Iwaizumi even invited him somewhere. Sometimes Oikawa was there, and sometimes he wasn't. Kageyama never asked to hang out though, because he was honestly terrified of his offers being rejected, probably irrationally so, but it was hard to work up the courage regardless.</p><p>The feelings from volleyball lingered, but he still just tried to bury them as best as he could.</p><p>"So, Yamayama-kun, it's been a little while."</p><p>Kageyama didn't know why he was so happy when all the older boy had done was almost knock them both over in his attempt at greeting Tobio.</p><p>"Yeah, it has." Kageyama conceded shortly.</p><p>Hinata tilted his head and gave Tobio one of his signature bright smiles, "What are your plans for summer? Is your family going on a trip? Are you going to have a summer party? Do you plan to confess your feelings?"</p><p>"I know you only really care about the answer to your last question, and it's no."</p><p>"Why not though," Hinata pouted. "It's hard not to say anything to them!"</p><p>Kageyama raised an eyebrow at the implications, frowning, "What do you mean? You<em> talk</em> to them?"</p><p>"Oh right, I didn't tell you!" Hinata had the decency to look sheepish, "I got Oikawa-san's number at your birthday party! And I annoyed him into giving me Iwaizumi-san's too and we talk sometimes."</p><p>"I thought I told you to stop meddling in my business." Kageyama growled, feeling the beginnings of a headache start.</p><p>"I know that, we don't talk about you all the time."</p><p>"What else do you have to talk about?"</p><p>"I talk to Iwaizumi-san about volleyball a lot, and being an ace cus he was one at your old middle school, right? Anyway, we're both spikers so we talk a lot about that. When Oikawa-san and I talk it is usually about you though." Hinata looked a little ashamed again when he admitted that last part.</p><p>"What do you talk about?"</p><p>"Well… he doesn't have a lot of nice things to say about you, especially when it comes to volleyball."</p><p>"Yeah, I mean… I'm a genius, and Oikawa-san apparently doesn't like those." He just wished Oikawa hated something about him that he could change instead of something he had no control over. Something he would actually be proud of if not for Oikawa's disdain.</p><p>"People who don't like others because they're a natural at something are kind of petty. Personally I think you should find a team that would try to… yknow, help those talents grow."</p><p>"Is this your way of telling me I should go to Karasuno instead?"</p><p>"Maybe a little, but I'm also right!" Hinata cried.</p><p>"I thought you wanted me to go to Seijoh so we could be against each other?"</p><p>"Yeah, but I also want to play with you! And I want you to finally toss me some of your sets!"</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes, "You know I'm not gonna start you on that until you get better at receives."</p><p>"I know, but still." Hinata crossed his arms and sighed. "Anyway, are you feeling better now?"</p><p>Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows, "better about what?"</p><p>"The last time we hung out you were pretty frustrated."</p><p>"Oh… yeah, I'm fine now." Kageyama wasn't fine, but he didn't exactly want to tell Hinata what was going on because he was pretty sure the other boy would have no idea how to help anyway. His parents were together, he had a loving family, he couldn't really understand even if he tried.</p><p>"Okay," Hinata chirped, "so, ready to start playing volleyball? That's why we came here, after all."</p><p>"Yeah…"</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure how much he wanted to play right now. He was still frustrated about a lot of things though, so maybe silently throwing the ball and smacking it would help alleviate some of those feelings.</p><p>"So, Yamayama-kun, do you plan on competing in the tournaments next year?"</p><p>"I don't want to talk anymore." Kageyama answered, tossing the ball up in the air and smacking it toward Hinata to be received.</p><p>"Oh, okay…"</p><p>They went through those motions a few times with Kageyama spiking and Hinata receiving before the shorter boy spoke again, "What's it like being on a real team? It must be nice to have people to rely on, right?"</p><p>Kageyama bit his tongue and kept his expression carefully blank, "Not really. I can't rely on them at all." He couldn't help the slight bitterness that crept into his tone even when he tried to shove it out.</p><p>"Why not?" Hinata asked, completely missing the ball and letting it roll away into the bushes.</p><p>"I don't want to talk about it." Kageyama grumped, stomping over to get the ball.</p><p>Hinata's eyebrows furrowed and he looked confused. "You can't just say something like that and then not tell me what you mean."</p><p>"They're slow, they don't get it, they don't look for openings like I do, and they have no motivation to get better and it makes me sick okay!"</p><p>Kageyama sighed, feeling more anger rise up in the back of his throat, but he refused to let that out. He'd already said too much, in his opinion.</p><p>"Well then maybe you should motivate them." Hinata chirped.</p><p>"I've <em>tried</em>, it doesn't work. They're just lazy."</p><p>"You shouldn't say that about your team."</p><p>Kageyama scoffed, the anger in his throat spilling onto his tongue and out his mouth, "Well what would you know of a team, you don't have one. You've never had one and with your receiving skills it's unlikely you'll ever have one!"</p><p>Hinata huffed out an annoyed breath and rolled his eyes, "Look, I know my receiving sucks, but there's more to me than that, which you would know if you took the time to set to me!"</p><p>"Why should I do that if you're trash at everything else!"</p><p>"I'm <em>not </em>trash at everything except spiking. I'm fast! I can hit any ball you set, got it!" Hinata shouted, "I don't care how fast or slow, I'd be there to hit it! Would you get it to me?"</p><p>That almost sounded like a challenge.</p><p>"Of course I would! I'm not the one who falls short between the two of us." Kageyama growled.</p><p>"Ha, funny." Hinata said dryly although Kageyama hadn't been trying to make a joke.</p><p>They fell silent for a few moments before Hinata continued, "So, wanna tell me why you're angry at me? And don't tell me you're tired again because I won't believe that."</p><p>"Why I'm mad?" The feeling in his gut roared to life again and he let out a humorless laugh. "I'm mad because your so damn annoying! You're always talking, you're bad at volleyball, and you're always in my business." Kageyama didn't mean that. Hinata wasn't those things. Hinata made him laugh, Hinata made awkward situations more awkward but somehow still made them work. Hinata filled his silences, Hinata was hard working and deserved to be on a team.</p><p>More than Kageyama did. Kageyama was just a genius, like everything about the sport had been handed to him on a silver platter. He had something not many had, and he was simply born with it. It wasn't fair to anyone else.</p><p>"Well sorry I talk too much, jackass," Hinata's raging voice rang through his thoughts. "I may be bad at volleyball but at least I'd be a good teammate, and I was only ever trying to help you because you're too much of a coward to do it yourself!"</p><p>All of that was true.</p><p>"Sorry social interaction doesn't come easy to all of us! And it's more complicated than telling them or not!" Was it?</p><p>"How so! How's it more complicated! You're always hiding stuff about yourself and your emotions and still expect me to understand!"</p><p>Kageyama, furious, and unable to stop talking, took several steps forward and grabbed Hinata's collar, screaming, "You wouldn't understand even if I told you!"</p><p>Hinata's glare pierced through him. He'd seen Hinata get annoyed and pouty, and even frustrated, but he'd never scowled like that at anyone, much less Kageyama.</p><p>"Well whatever it is, it's making you act like a total jerk." Hinata growled, shoving his hands off.</p><p>Kageyama didn't know if he wanted to scream or punch something, or both but Hinata's expression made him wearier.</p><p>"I remember when I first met you, and you were a really sweet person. Shy, and awkward too, but you were nice. And when we were together, it was like you were having fun for the first time in your entire life. I'm not sure what changed, but when we're together now it's like you're only half there! Like there's always something bothering you that I don't know about! And now you're treating me like crap for no reason! I may look tiny and weak but I'm not gonna stand here and let you bully me like this."</p><p>Kageyama almost laughed. "I've been bullied all my life!" but he had nothing else to say so he added, "Just leave me alone!"</p><p>"Just because you were bullied doesn't mean it's okay for you to be mean to other people! Now apologize to me right now or I don't think we can be friends right now." Hinata said, crossing his arms.</p><p>Kageyama gritted his teeth, feeling a bit of regret pool in his stomach. He wanted to apologize, it should be easy, since he didn't even really mean any of the things he'd said and he knew they were all wrong.</p><p>"Fine," Hinata growled after a few moments. "I've got better friends than you anyway." And the older boy turned and stalked off in the other direction.</p><p>Kageyama had to admit that hurt a little, but he didn't stop Hinata from walking off either.</p><p>He felt more anger bubbling inside him just underneath the surface, but considering what he'd just done he didn't even try to hide it. He just let it all out, slamming the volleyball around and kicking trees and dirt.</p><p>And when he stopped throwing a 'temper tantrum' as Kunimi would call it, he felt empty. He wanted to call Hinata and apologize, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that maybe this was for the best. Maybe this was just a sign that he and Hinata weren't meant to be friends.</p><p>But at the same time he still wanted to be friends. They hadn't had a lot of fun together lately, but Kageyama still enjoyed his company, still wanted to be around him.</p><p>But he was also embarrassed.</p><p>And he wanted cry more than scream now, because what he'd just done was completely pathetic. It was something his father would do, and Kageyama had spent his entire life just wanting to never be like that. But it was almost uncontrollable. At one moment he felt almost fine and the next words were spilling out of his mouth. All the words he normally would say, and then the anger would overflow and suddenly he couldn't <em>stop </em>saying things.</p><p>That didn't make it right, but it did make him feel horrible. Kageyama had always been in control with most things. He had his life under control, he had a routine, he was organized, even his sets were completely under his control.</p><p>Why couldn't he get his emotions under control then?</p><p>Why did he have to feel these things and let them out?</p><p>He just wished he could bury these things inside and never let them out, he just wanted to cry.</p><p>Kageyama didn't cry though, and tried to bury that emotion too on his walk home, volleyball in hand. He wondered whether Hinata felt sad too. Maybe, maybe not, he supposed it didn't matter.</p><p>They weren't really friends anymore.</p><p>And that was all Kageyama's fault. He had been so stupid.</p><p>Hinata had been right to call him a coward.</p><p>The reason he kept putting his confession off was mainly because he was scared. Scared he wasn't good enough, and scared that he was. Scared of what a relationship even meant, and scared they wouldn't want one with him.</p><p>And he now was scared Hinata hated him and would reject his apology and say everything hadn't even mattered when everything really did matter to him so much.</p><p>He was scared people wouldn't love him the way he loved them, scared they wouldn't want him for any number of reasons.</p><p>Kageyama knew that was stupid, that it was cowardly to rather not know then find out.</p><p>So he made a promise to himself that he would confess to Iwaizumi and Oikawa about the truth by the end of his third year. And once he got his emotions under control he would apologize to Hinata even if they couldn't ever be friends again.</p><p>Kageyama's phone was almost dead silent through most of the Summer, with only the occasional text from Iwaizumi or his mother.</p><p>It was his first Summer without Hinata in a long time.</p><p>And god it was lonely.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Omg this chapter took for fucking ever. I had no idea what to do for this chapter (or i did, but also not really) anyway, maybe this was a little fast paced but I also really have nothing left to say at this moment in time so the next few chapters will probably just be fillers that I placed to move the timeline along. I'm hoping three fillers at the most, but it will likely only be two. In there we might have a little drama, but not much so next two chapters might be kinda boring but it will be worth it because then we get into some really... important things. Anyway, despite that I hope this chapter was still somewhat enjoyable and entertaining! Thank you so much for reading, comments appreciated as always!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There is a fight this chapter, like fists. Also a description of suffocation feeling (air knocked out of lungs). Just so you're warned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Apparently Hinata didn't say anything to Iwaizumi or Oikawa about the argument they'd had, because the two didn't berate him about anything or get mad at him, which was good because the last thing he needed was something else going wrong.</p><p>If one more thing happened, Tobio was pretty sure he was going to explode in one way or another. As a third year he was now a senpai to everyone else on the volleyball team, but he found it was impossible to deal with any of them most of the time.</p><p>Kageyama couldn't focus on them, could hardly look at them without clenching his fists. Something about nearly everyone on the team just seemed to hit every single one of his nerves. These were nerves he didn't even know he'd had before now if he was being honest.</p><p>All they had to do was make one mistake, cast one wrong side glance and Kageyama felt like he was going to lose it.</p><p>He was pretty sure feeling that way wasn't normal. He'd never felt so irritated as a first or even second year. And no one else on the team ever seemed to be bothered, so Tobio felt bothered enough for all of them.</p><p>If he was being honest, not liking the first, second, or third years made it a little hard to play.</p><p>But he played as he liked anyway, just as he usually did, ignoring the fact that staring at his team made his blood boil. "Kindaichi, go faster, and you first years! Why the hell are you just standing around, you should be practicing!" Kageyama snapped, glaring at them.</p><p>While Kindaichi gave him a scrutinizing look, the first years scrambled to do what they were told.</p><p>"Do you ever think that maybe you could be a little nicer." Kindaichi said, rolling his eyes, his jaw set.</p><p>Kageyama gritted his teeth, not seeing how that mattered. Oikawa would treat him like crap when he was here, and no one had even noticed. So why was everyone zeroing in when Kageyama got a little snappish?</p><p>Yelling was the only way he got anyone to listen to him anyway. Whenever he asked nicely no one paid attention to him, which admittedly made him even angrier. "Just go faster." Kageyama repeated instead of responding.</p><p>All that mattered anyway was one more win, not playing nice. Success was all his parents cared about anyway, even if he was fairly sure they only cared when it came to his studies that he'd been letting slip for a while now.</p><p>They didn't even matter anyway, Kageyama had decided what he was going to do with his life. Play volleyball. And after school became impossible to focus on, he'd mostly given up on it. There was no point in slaving over something he wouldn't need.</p><p>He just threw away the report cards, and his mother was absent minded enough to forget to check emails until late at night. So he pretended to be his parents and lied about being too busy to talk about grades and after he sent the email, deleted the messages.</p><p>He didn't see why the school was so upset anyway. His grades were no worse than Kindaichi's, and even that guy managed to pass.</p><p>The truth would probably come out eventually, but Kageyama was too focused to care.</p><p>The only thing that really mattered to him anymore was volleyball, even if he did occasionally respond to Iwaizumi's messages and stare at the conversations written on his arms.</p><p>Those things were just what he did in his free time, along with doing his homework at times.</p><p>Kageyama hadn't paid attention to his arms in a long time. He hadn't needed to considering how much closer he, Oikawa, and Iwaizumi had gotten. He hadn't even thought of doing it until recently when he had no one else important in his life besides them and his parents.</p><p>Tobio hadn't realized until after they split up, but Hinata had taken up a lot of Kageyama's time. Not that he minded, because he really wanted to apologize for what he said and keep spending that time with Hinata.</p><p>He never sent a text though, because he'd promised to get his feelings under control before he apologized and at the moment he could feel his emotions spiraling out of control more than ever.</p><p>And he had no idea how to stop it either.</p><p>After getting home from practice and climbing the stares to his room, Kageyama Leaned back against the pillows on his bed, holding up his arms to see the little bit of writing Oikawa and Iwaizumi had done lately. They didn't talk about much through the soulbond. Usually something random like a pipe dream.</p><p>Sometimes it was about him though, and sometimes it wasn't even bad. Sometimes if he looked at the words hard enough, he could even pretend they actually kind of liked him</p><p>
  <em>Iwa-chaaaan~ guess what</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>What</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm thinking about something right now.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>Shocker</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>Kageyama snorted even if he didn't mean to and then instantly scolded himself. He was supposed to be angry and upset and overwhelmed at everything at the moment and for some reason, feeling some sort of joy in the midst of that felt wrong somehow.</p><p>
  <em>Mean! If you're mean, I'm not gonna tell you what I'm thinking!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Fine, what're you thinking.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Tobio-chan is cute.</em>
</p><p>Kageyama felt his heart skip a beat.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Alright? And?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>And?! And he's cute! What do you think would happen if I pinched his cheeks.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>I think he'd bite your hand off.</strong>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>No he wouldn't! Tobio-chan isn't mean like you!</em>
</p><p>Kageyama actually considered the question for a moment. What would he do? He couldn't be sure unless it happened. What he did know was that he wasn't opposed to the idea, which was something.</p><p>Kageyama decided it would be best to pull down his sleeves and get to work on his homework. Winter was moving incredibly fast already and he didn't want to have a completely horrible grade by the end of the semester.</p><p>It was almost his birthday too. He'd be fourteen, wouldn't he.</p><p>Time sure was moving fast.</p><p>The thought of his birthday coming up wasn't as exciting as it had been last year.</p><p>Last year, Hinata had been there to make him look forward to his birthday.</p><p>This year just reminded him of all the things he'd thrown away for absolutely nothing.</p>
<hr/><p>As time passed Kageyama continued to go to school, answer emails, and play volleyball, pushing for the win even if his teammates didn't want it as badly.</p><p>"Kageyama-san," a first year started, and only when Kageyama was standing next to him, looking down did he realize how much he'd grown in the last few years.</p><p>"Yes?" Kageyama tried to keep his voice interested, although by the boy's long pause he assumed he'd failed.</p><p>"Uhh, can you teach me how to set like you?"</p><p>Kageyama was fairly certain that very few people could set like him, considering he was apparently a genius, but he saw no reason why he couldn't help improve the other boy's skill.</p><p>"Hey," Kindaichi's loud voice rang across the gym, almost making Kageyama cringe, "you should ask the second year setter. He'd be more willing to help."</p><p>Kageyama gritted his teeth and glared, "I'm perfectly capable of helping!"</p><p>Kindaichi rolled his eyes, "You'll just get mad and start yelling at him when he can't get it right the first time. Kid's better off with the second year."</p><p>"I will <em>not </em>get mad and start yelling!"</p><p>"Right, because you're totally not yelling right now." Kunimi chimed in.</p><p>"I'm only yelling because he's being annoying right now! He," Kageyama pointed at the first year, "came to me for help, not the second years so obviously I'm the one he wants help from, which makes sense since the only one working on this fucking team is me!"</p><p>Kindaichi narrowed his eyes, "Listen here you asshole, I don't know what you're on, but we are all working! Some of us just don't spend our every waking moment on the court because some of us have <em>lives</em>! Got it? So shut the fuck up, you have no idea what you're talking about!"</p><p>"Well you have no idea what <em>you're </em>talking about. I spend everyday working my ass off because I want to be the best! And I'd be perfectly willing to help any of you if you actually wanted it!" Kageyama's chest was pounding with fury and the only thing he could see was red.</p><p>Kindaichi grabbed his collar and pulled him up so Kageyama was almost on his tip-toes because while he had grown, Kindaichi was still quite a bit taller. "We don't want your kind of help, you fucking tyrant!"</p><p>Normally, Kageyama would back down now. Normally, he wouldn't have even gone this far. But now he knew what fighting felt like. He knew what it felt like to stand up when someone was fighting with him, and he wasn't ever going to back down after discovering what it felt like.</p><p>He wasn't ever going to let Kindaichi win when he knew this was worth fighting for.</p><p>And he would never be ignored either.</p><p>Kageyama shoved Kindaichi and would have punched him if Kindaichi hadn't recovered quickly and body slammed him into the ground.</p><p>The moment Tobio's back hit the gym floor breath rushed out from his lungs leaving him gasping on the floor, unable to breathe or move.</p><p>All of a sudden it felt like he was dying. He couldn't breathe. All he could was gasp in short breaths even though it was like no air was entering his lungs.</p><p>He couldn't breathe.</p><p>It didn't help that Kindaichi was staring at him like he was actually dying. The older boy backed off of him, still staring wide-eyed, and a few seconds later he could finally breathe again. Tobio took large gasps of air, tears in the corners of his eyes from the sudden complete lack of oxygen. He knew it had to have only been a few seconds but it felt like he'd been unable to breathe for three years.</p><p>Kageyama sat up, still breathing a bit heavily, both boys staring at each other and both a little surprised themselves at what had just happened. As angry as Kageyama ever got, even screaming at someone had at one point unthinkable, the prospect of trying to hit anyone even more foreign to him.</p><p>Everyone in the gym had tried to ignore the argument to the best of their abilities, although the first years looked a bit shaken.</p><p>As everyone was processing the event that had just occurred, the coach walked in and stared at Kageyama on the floor and then at Kindaichi standing a few feet away from him. "Is… everything alright in here?" the broad-shouldered man asked cautiously.</p><p>Kindaichi and Kageyama both looked at each other before they both slowly nodded. No one else in the gym said absolutely anything either and practice continued as normal for the most part.</p><p>Even if there was still unmistakable tension in the air.</p>
<hr/><p>After that incident things only started to get worse.</p><p>The change was unnoticeable at first, but in a couple weeks everyone in the club had nicknamed him "King of the Court" or "King" for short.</p><p>At first he hadn't really minded or paid attention because he was focused on volleyball and not failing the semester. Not to mention that after all the yelling and fights his parents had been speaking to each other less and less which was somehow even more unsettling.</p><p>It took him two weeks to realize the name had a negative connotation, and it took him two more to realize what the name was doing to his image (or lack thereof to be precise).</p><p>Kageyama had gone from no one taking notice of him to everyone staring at him, whispering, and laughing too.</p><p>Kageyama just tried to ignore it and focus on volleyball which at some point, because of the people in the gym, had ceased to be a safe haven where he could hide from his problems.</p><p>If everyone at school was bad his team was definitely the worst. They called him that name whenever they got the chance, and it was their new comeback for anything he asked them to do.</p><p>It was frustrating, but Kageyama surged forward regardless as he always did, and played to win as he always did.</p><p>He soon learned Kunimi had been the one to start spreading the name around the club and eventually the school. It was annoying he'd done such a thing if only because it inconvenienced him.</p><p>The rumors and nickname were of no such concern to him, and he kept his sights on what he wanted because everything else was spiraling out of control and the ball in his hands was all he had left.</p><p>Volleyball was all he had left.</p><p>It was the only thing he trusted to never leave him.</p><p>When Kageyama returned home on Monday, he walked inside to see his mother on the couch.</p><p>He knew that wasn't a good sign.</p><p>"Tobio, I need to talk to you about something." She murmured before he had even shut the door.</p><p>"Um… yes?"</p><p>"Come sit down. This is important."</p><p>Tobio slowly shut the door and took off his shoes before inching his way over to the couch and sitting beside his mother. He wasn't sure what exactly she had to talk to him about but he was sure it was nothing good.</p><p>"I got an email from the school today," she paused as Tobio's heart dropped even though he tried to keep his face neutral. His mother seemed to be trying to see his reaction to her statement and considering she continued she'd probably gotten it. "It was interesting to say the least. When exactly were you planning on telling us your grades were slipping?"</p><p>Never. "It must've slipped my mind." He tried his best to look sheepish and not outright terrified.</p><p>"Well that part of the email wasn't good, you'll need to correct that. However, there was something even more interesting. The email talked about how they knew we as your parents were busy but that the school would appreciate if we could come in <em>this time</em>. Do you know what that phrasing implies, Tobio?"</p><p>Kageyama knew exactly what it implied but he played dumb anyway even if there was no point in doing so. She had caught him in the middle of a lie.</p><p>"It implies that they've asked us to discuss your grades more than once, although I didn't see anymore emails regarding the subject. I certainly wouldn't have deleted an email from your school, and your father doesn't even look at the emails and there's only one other person in this house. Do you know who that is?" during the conversation her eyes had turned sharp and the last question was certainly accusatory and not at all rhetorical.</p><p>"Um… me?" Kageyama murmured hesitantly.</p><p>Her eyes narrowed further, "Yes, you. So tell me, have you been deleting emails from your school about your grades and telling them we're busy."</p><p>"I have…" Kageyama admitted, seeing no easy way out or any way out at all really.</p><p>"Why." His mother asked shortly.</p><p>"Because I didn't want you to see them." Kageyama admitted. "I wanted to get my grades up before you realized I was… um, struggling."</p><p>"Well then why exactly did you let them fall in the first place?"</p><p>Because Kageyama hadn't been able to sit still and focus on school work in a long time. Any time his body wasn't moving his mind was racing with a million things that had nothing to do with what he was supposed to be doing.</p><p>There was only one thing he had been able to focus on all this time.</p><p>He couldn't focus on school, relationships, tasks that required more than a few minutes of concentration, and everything in between.</p><p>Kageyama could probably come up with a million excuses but he decided it wouldn't hurt to just tell his mother the truth. "I can't focus." Kageyama didn't say anything else but his mother's constant stare on him prompted him to say a bit more, "I keep reading the same paragraph over and over but never really digest any of the words. Like I'm reading it but not comprehending what it's saying. And when I try to do math I just stare at the problem and my mind keeps wandering like I'm always distracted even though there's nothing distracting!" If Kageyama was being honest school was the least of his worries. He couldn't even text back a simple 'good' when Iwaizumi asked about his day anymore, and he was honestly more worried about damaging any of his other relationships than his failing grades.</p><p>"Hmm," his mother said as if she were thinking though he knew she'd already made up her mind before they even started talking, "well we'll meet with the school and talk about it more. And I'll talk to your father about you keeping this from us."</p><p>Kageyama was definitely not looking forward to that.</p>
<hr/><p>To say the least, his father was unhappy and after a long, loud lecture about responsibility and honesty, Kageyama was promptly grounded until his grades improved. He was forbidden from practicing volleyball outside of actual practice, he was forbidden to go out with friends, and his phone was taken as well.</p><p>Kageyama was almost glad for the last one because he had an excuse not to text Iwaizumi back. One that didn't make him feel like a horrible person.</p><p>The grounding wasn't good, especially not for his final year of middle school, but Kageyama took it as an opportunity to practice even harder at the gym than ever before which made watching his teammates not work as hard as him even more irritating than usual.</p><p>The nickname grew even more popular at school as weeks went by, and even the people who didn't talk to anyone knew what he was called. Kageyama still ignored it, and plowed ahead with more force than ever, never looking back because at this point that was all he could do.</p><p>At this point, volleyball was the only thing he really had left.</p><p>Tobio held onto it with all his strength and he had no plans of ever letting go.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Welp, here you have filler number one. I think number two will be more interesting as I want to include Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but this one was still important overall to the developement of finishing this arc. Also, some of Kageyama's emotions come from my experience lol. Once I was out in the yard doing a hand stand, fell flat on my back, and got the air knocked out of me (It really does feel like you're dying), and once, when I thought my family was going to move it felt like my life was falling apart so when I was playing soccer with my team and was laughing and joking with them it felt almost wrong because I was supposed to be unhappy lol. Also updates may be a little slower (a chapter every 1-2 weeks) because life's been a little rough.</p><p>Okay, so, there you go, hope you enjoyed, hope it wasn't rushed, comments always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few months after Kageyama turned fourteen was the first time he saw Iwaizumi in six months. He'd gotten his phone back around one month ago when he managed to raise his overall grade back up to a 70%. However, he still hadn't sent Iwaizumi any texts or replied to his questions. Partly because he forgot and partly because he was afraid of texting him even if he had no idea why he felt that way.</p><p>So when he walked out of the school gates on Wednesday to see Iwaizumi standing there, he startled, not expecting that at all. "Iwaizumi-san?" Kageyama asked before he thought of just sneaking off.</p><p>Iwaizumi glanced up from his phone and narrowed his eyes which Kageyama knew was definitely not a good sign. He briefly thought of running but then thought that probably wouldn't bode well for the next time he left school. Kageyama didn't want to spend the rest of his months in middle school running away from Iwaizumi for a reason he wasn't even sure of.</p><p>"Kageyama, where have you been? You haven't been answering my texts for months now! I was starting to think you were dead."</p><p>"Sorry," Kageyama managed to murmur out, unsure what to say to that.</p><p>"How've you been lately? Are you okay?" Iwaizumi's eyes were both upset and concerned, and honestly he had every right to feel that way after Tobio seemingly dropped off the face of the earth.</p><p>Kageyama bit his lip and nodded slowly, "I'm okay, I've just been busy practicing volleyball and keeping up with school. It's been kind of hard lately." The material was becoming difficult for him to understand now that he didn't put half as much effort as he used to into studying.</p><p>"Well, you can always text if you have a question, I can help you with those things." Kageyama opened his mouth but before he could say anything Iwaizumi added, "It's not trouble," as if he knew what Tobio was thinking.</p><p>"Oh, uh… thanks Iwaizumi-san." Kageyama paused for a moment before deciding to return the question. "What about you? How've you been?"</p><p>"Pretty good, when I wasn't worrying about you." Iwaizumi playfully slapped his arm, and normally the gesture would be lighthearted but Kageyama could tell Iwaizumi was still upset.</p><p>Kageyama smiled nervously. "Sorry, I know I should've let you know I was okay, but… but I just kept forgetting." Kageyama had gotten into the bad habit of telling himself he'd do something later only to keep telling himself that every time he remembered what he had to do.</p><p>"It's okay, but if you could maybe not worry us next time, that'd be great."</p><p>"Us?" Kageyama asked skeptically with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>"Oikawa was being lazy and making me do all the work, but considering he kept spamming me with texts wanting updates on what you were saying, I think it's safe to say he was worried."</p><p>Oikawa definitely acted like a tsundere when it came to Kageyama, albeit, the behavior not very typical sometimes. Kageyama was still unsure about the 'dere' part of the word, but the behavior behind the word applied.</p><p>"Well, you should tell Oikawa-san that I'm alright."</p><p>"I mean… I'll do that, but… are you really sure you're okay? When I asked Hinata-kun about it, he said he didn't know anything anymore, whatever that means."</p><p>"Oh… Hinata-san and I aren't really friend right now. He doesn't know anything."</p><p>Iwaizumi frowned at Kageyama's words, "Really? Did something happen between you two?"</p><p>"I fucked up." Kageyama said bluntly, and unceremoniously because it was indeed the truth.</p><p>"Oh, okay." Iwaizumi fell silent, probably wonder if he should ask what Kageyama fucked up exactly, but apparently he decided it would be better to change the subject away from Hinata.</p><p>"So, do you want to come over and study at Oikawa's house today? I can just tell him if you want to. Oikawa-san's been asking why you haven't come over in a while too."</p><p>"Oikawa-san's… mom?"</p><p>"Yeah, her. She really liked you."</p><p>Kageyama had no idea why, but he figured it was better than her not liking him. "I'll ask papa." Kageyama took his phone out of his pocket and texted his father who he knew checked his phone fairly frequently even while at work.</p><p>His father texted back a few minutes later.</p><p>
  <strong>Papa: B home by 7</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: Okay.</strong>
</p><p>Kageyama was glad not only to have his phone because he could contact anyone at the touch of a few buttons, but also because if he asked his father a question the worst he could get was a blunt 'no'.</p><p>"Papa said I could go, but I have to be home by seven."</p><p>"That's fine, I told Oikawa you were coming too, and we can get lots studying done by then."</p><p>Kageyama nodded in agreement, a little nervous about seeing Oikawa since the last time they'd parted ways the discussion had been a little heavy.</p><p>"So, besides your grades and… and Hinata-kun, has everything else been okay?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded because he really didn't want to have to tell Iwaizumi what was going on with volleyball, and the team, or the nickname he'd somehow gotten.</p><p>It was only a matter of time until Iwaizumi and Oikawa heard of it, but maybe they wouldn't understand the negative connotations behind it.</p><p>He knew Oikawa was too smart for that, but Kageyama could still hope.</p><p>"That's good. What about the tournament coming up? You excited about that?"</p><p>Of course he was excited, volleyball had been what he'd been pouring all his energy into for the past year, and even before that it had been really important to him. "I'm excited." He was excited to play, to win, to stand on the court longer than anyone else. He could do that with or without the team calling him 'king of the court'.</p><p>"I haven't talked to Kindaichi or Kunimi very much at all, how are they doing?"</p><p>"They're fine." At least he was pretty sure they were okay for the most part. They weren't exactly friends so he had no idea what was going on in their lives outside how they interacted with him on the court, which seemed to be as little as possible.</p><p>Kageyama glanced up at Iwaizumi wondering if this was what was called 'small talk'. He had to say it was very stiff and uncomfortable in his opinion, which he had never felt before when being with Iwaizumi, even if they hadn't seen each other for a few months.</p><p>What had changed?</p><p>Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows. Iwaizumi's questions weren't particularly out of the ordinary for him, and asking about his wellbeing or the wellbeing of others was a common occurrence in discussions with Iwaizumi.</p><p>Why did it feel so awkward then?</p><p>Maybe it was that his life had come to a stand still and he had even fewer interesting things to say than he normally did. Plus, encounters with Iwaizumi were usually brief or if they were long, it was because Kageyama and him were doing something.</p><p>Other than that, most of the times they spoke Oikawa was there also. Maybe Oikawa not being there was partly why it was awkward as well, he wasn't sure. But encounters with Oikawa without Iwaizumi were generally unpleasant.</p><p>Either way the two said nothing more as they walked to Oikawa's house, most of the time spent with Kageyama sending glances at Iwaizumi who was glaring at his phone the entire way.</p><p>Kageyama assumed it was because he was talking to Oikawa.</p><p>Just a hunch he had.</p><p>They walked in silence all the way to Oikawa's house, and when they got there, Iwaizumi didn't even knock, just went in. That action made Kageyama a little uncomfortable, going in without being invited, but he supposed that was what happened when you had a best friend and soulmate you'd known all your life.</p><p>"Hello~." Kageyama heard what must've been Oikawa's mom call from the kitchen.</p><p>She came from around the corner and smiled when she saw them. "Tobio, Haijime, what a nice surprise."</p><p>"Is it really a surprise?" Iwaizumi asked with a small smile.</p><p>"Well, Tobio's a surprise." Oikawa's mother said with a smile. "How are you doing?"</p><p>It took a moment for Kageyama to realize the question was directed at him, and when he realized he stammered out a quick, "good." He'd almost forgotten how much of a… presence Oikawa'a mother had, like a blow torch on a dark, cold night.</p><p>"Well that's good, dear." She turned her attention to Iwaizumi after that, "Tooru is upstairs, in his room. Be careful, I think he's listening to music."</p><p>Iwaizumi nodded much too gravely in acknowledgement and solemnly beckoned Tobio to follow him upstairs.</p><p>Oikawa's room was the first door on the left of the hallway, and Kageyama could indeed hear feint music coming from inside. "Cover your ears." Tobio didn't even have the chance to ask why before Iwaizumi opened the door and his question was answered. Loud, screeching music invaded the entire room, coming from Oikawa's phone on the bed.</p><p>"What the hell is this, Shittykawa!" Iwaizumi scrambled over to Oikawa's bed and hit pause while all Tobio could do was cover his ears.</p><p>Oikawa rolled his eyes, "It's called music, Iwa-chan. And it's helping me focus."</p><p>"Focus on what?" Iwaizumi asked, narrowing his eyes again.</p><p>"Studying of course, what else? And don't scowl too hard, you'll get wrinkles."</p><p>Iwaizumi ignored him and raised an eyebrow, "You started studying without me forcing you to? You sick or something?"</p><p>"I'm not sick." Oikawa sounded annoyed, "I did have a revelation though." Iwaizumi gave him a look that said to continue. "Did you know that there are websites which <em>give </em>you the answer to your question? Look, all you have to do is input your question and it gives you answers!" Oikawa said, snatching his phone from Iwaizumi to show him.</p><p>"It's called the internet." Tobio felt the need to add dryly while Iwaizumi snickered.</p><p>Oikawa huffed, "I know that Tobio-chan, but who could've known that you could get the answers to all your homework questions with a tap! I could get this done in thirty minutes!"</p><p>"So, you're not studying, you're cheating."</p><p>"Iwa-chan! I'm not cheating, I'm just double checking my thoughts!"</p><p>"Oikawa-san, aren't you smart enough not to need to look those things up?" Kageyama asked.</p><p>"If you keep being mean I won't give you the websites I'm using. You'll have to find them all on your own, Tobio-chan."</p><p>Kageyama had to admit that looking up answers was something he'd never thought of, and the principle of it made him feel guilty. Oikawa was smart, the websites probably just helped him get done faster. Kageyama was not naturally intelligent like that, he had to study hard and in the end looking up answers on the homework would make him fail worse on the tests but at this point in time he wasn't sure he cared about that.</p><p>"You shouldn't be getting Kageyama involved in your shit."</p><p>"Tobio-chan can make up his mind by himself. He doesn't need you to tell him what's good for him." Oikawa said, smirking in Iwaizumi's direction while the other glared.</p><p>"Um…" Kageyama risked a glance at Iwaizumi who, for his part, gave a neutral look in his direction though it was still obvious what he thought about this. "What are the website names?"</p><p>Oikawa grinned.</p><p>"You two are unbelievable."</p><p>"Lighten up a bit, Iwa-chan."</p><p>"So are we going to actually study or are you going to look up all the answers to our homework and quit after that."</p><p>Oikawa tilted his head as if in thought, "I suppose I can study with you Iwa-chan if it would make you feel better."</p><p>"It would," Iwaizumi growled, plopping between Tobio and Oikawa, leaning against Oikawa's shoulder.</p><p>If Kageyama was being honest, he was jealous of how openly affectionate they could be with each other and jealous he couldn't be apart of it.</p><p>That was his own fault of course but this late he had no way of casually bringing up that they were soulmates.</p><p>No doubt they would be furious.</p><p>For keeping a secret.</p><p>And for lying about being soulmateless.</p><p>There were certain things Kageyama couldn't take back or fix and there were things they couldn't either.</p><p>He really just hoped they could move past that at some point.</p><p>"Hey so, Iwa-chan says you're struggling in school, Tobio-chan? It's odd because I always remember you getting good grades." Oikawa said, glancing up at him.</p><p>"I haven't been focusing on studying as much as other things."</p><p>"These other things wouldn't happen to be volleyball would they?" Iwaizumi asked.</p><p>"They are." Kageyama admitted. Volleyball had been more important to him than school for a long time. He'd joined at first to be closer to his soulmates, but in the mean time volleyball had become something more. It was an escape, it was safe, it was controllable, it was exhilarating, it was something he was good at, and so much more. Volleyball was one of the most important things in the world to him and the only thing he was sure wouldn't leave unless he let it go.</p><p>It was constant.</p><p>Reliable.</p><p>It was what he needed right now.</p><p>And it made him feel good.</p><p>"I know volleyball is important to you, but maybe you should focus a little more on your studies. Getting into a good school is important too."</p><p>"And," Oikawa piped up, "you need to be even better because you're going to go to the best school."</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes. "I wasn't aware I was going to Shiratorizawa."</p><p>Oikawa sneered at him.</p><p>"Iwa-chan, did you just hear him? Tobio-chan is just trying to be cruel now!"</p><p>"It's called a joke, Shittykawa."</p><p>The other boy pouted, "It wasn't very funny."</p><p>"Anyway, moving on to what we're actually supposed to be doing here."</p><p>Oikawa groaned.</p><p>"What subject have you been having trouble the most with, Kageyama?"</p><p>"Um, well… I've been struggling with Japanese." Kageyama wasn't sure why he was having so much trouble speaking it, or writing it, or doing the assignments considering it was his first language, but regardless that was the class he had the worst grade in and was barely passing.</p><p>"What are you working on?"</p><p>"Um… we're writing a story." About soulmates. "I don't like the topic, it's not very interesting to me."</p><p>Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"It's about soulmates." Kageyama said bluntly. He was confused for a moment when Oikawa flashed him a sympathetic look and then remembered his lie about not having any soulmates.</p><p>"I'm sure if you talked with your teacher she could give you a different topic." Oikawa suggested.</p><p>Kageyama wished he could but, "It's three days late. I don't think she'll let me change my topic this late." Although it would've been a great idea earlier and Kageyama wished he had thought about it prior to this because it would've made writing the story a whole lot easier. "She also gave us this book to read to help understand 'soulmate relationships and complexities' better." Like he hadn't grown up hearing about that word every day of his entire life.</p><p>"Well, if it happens again you should just explain the situation and ask for a different topic. I'm sure they'd be understanding."</p><p>"Maybe…" But Kageyama wasn't so sure. Lying to Oikawa was one thing, but lying to his teacher about his soulmate situation seemed drastic. What if they expressed their condolences to his parents or something? That definitely wouldn't be good because his parents didn't like lying and they might think he was doing it to get attention.</p><p>Which might cause them to try and give him more attention which he most certainly didn't want.</p><p>"Is there a reason why you can't write about soulmates? I mean… I know you don't really believe in it." Iwaizumi said, sounding pained to have to say that out loud. "But, if it's for an assignment to please your teacher then isn't it worth it to hand at least <em>something </em>in."</p><p>"Your teacher said it had to be about soulmates but did they say the soulmates had to fall madly in love with each other?" Oikawa asked.</p><p>"No." but it was implied. That was what all soulmate stories were about and if he tried to bring light to other situations the ideas would probably be shut down, he would get a low grade, or both. Being apart of what the majority thought was generally better for everyone involved. Kageyama had to pick and choose his battles when it came to his thoughts on soulmates.</p><p>"You should make up one where they hate each other then. It would probably be a nice change to the sappy romance stories your teacher's going to have to read."</p><p>"They're not that sappy." Iwaizumi grumbled.</p><p>"Because you write them, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa teased, and they both watched Iwaizumi's face go red.</p><p>"Only for assignments!" Iwaizumi protested.</p><p>"I wish they would give us something different." Kageyama confessed. "We already have to deal with soulmate issues in our own lives. And there's no variety to the stories so you can't even personally relate. Or at least… not everyone."</p><p>He realized saying no one related was pretty far from the truth. A lot of people probably could relate in actuality.</p><p>That didn't change the fact that there was hardly any variety though.</p><p>"I guess that's true." Iwaizumi said, because no matter how much you loved the stories it would be inaccurate to say there was variety.</p><p>"Is it just me or are a lot of them about toxic, abusive relationships." Oikawa piped up, grabbing Tobio's book he'd been talking about earlier and reading the back of it.</p><p>"It's definitely about those a lot." Tobio grumbled. He swore if he read another soulmate book where the love interest literally kidnapped their soulmate he would burn it.</p><p>Besides the somewhat unpleasant meanings of the topic though, it was nice to sit in Oikawa's room and talk about soulmates casually. It was nice to talk casually in general if he was being honest.</p><p>Besides this he couldn't even remember the last time he'd sat down and talked to anyone casually.</p><p>He was pretty sure the last time had been when he'd last seen Hinata, reminding him that that boy was really the only friend he'd ever had.</p><p>"Wait," Oikawa piped up after reading the back, "so, in the book this girl has two soulmates but it's like… a love triangle?"</p><p>At this point Kageyama might've guessed his literature sensei was out to get him with how similar her book assignments were to his life.</p><p>He may not be trapped in a love triangle, but it was undeniable that he had two soulmates.</p><p>What he didn't understand was how the protagonist could possibly choose. If Oikawa and Iwaizumi begged for his attention how could he not be with them both? One without the other just didn't make sense to him. Maybe his life wasn't much like a protagonist's after all.</p><p>"Should they really be letting middle schoolers read books about that? What if someone who has two other soulmates actually thinks they have to choose between them?"</p><p>"It's actually rather realistic actually, Iwa-chan. I mean, not this love-triangle shit specifically, but there are plenty of soulmate relationships with three or more in a bond where not all of them end up together." Oikawa said, briefly thumbing through the book.</p><p>"Shouldn't they feel like something is missing?" Iwaizumi asked, scowling.</p><p>"I think people believe whatever they want when it comes to soulmates, and they feel whatever they want too. If two soulmates are happy together, it's pretty likely they wouldn't even consider the possibility of a third."</p><p>God, the words spilling out of Oikawa's mouth hit too close too home. Kageyama felt an uncomfortable feeling start to grown in the pit of his stomach.</p><p>"What if," Kageyama didn't know why he was speaking but suddenly he couldn't stop, "what if you had a third? What would you do?"</p><p>"Depends," Oikawa shrugged, "there's a lot of factors to consider. A third could change the whole dynamic of a relationship."</p><p>"Oh." Kageyama murmured, another question lingering in the back of his mind. <em>What if I was your third soulmate</em>? He didn't voice that one aloud, however, and simply dropped the topic, going on to try and work up the nerve to write about some sort of soulmate relationship.</p><p>He ended up writing something almost uncomfortably close to his own situation, however he made it have a happy ending as well even if he didn't know what the outcome of his own life would be since he knew that was what his sensei would be looking for.</p><p>She liked the ending, to say the least.</p><p>Go figure.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Last filler chapter. Next stop, the tournament! Ugh it's gonna be so salty, I kind of really can't wait. Also, after the confession happens I haven't planned much at all, so after that happens the next update could possibly take a little while as I consider ideas and scenarios for where the story should go next.</p><p> </p><p>I am literally like a mix of Kageyama and Oikawa in this story and Iwaizumi is my dying conscience :) thanks for reading! Comments and kudos appreciated! (btw, I did finally post a kagehina fic which I'd meant to do for a while. What is it? Pure angst ofc).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Practice continued in the few months that followed, as normal, and Kageyama felt himself drifting further and further from the team. The first year's never asked him for help anymore, though if they had showed an interest Kageyama would've tried to help even if he couldn't do much.</p><p>He got through the days by telling himself it didn't matter, and in doing so, time flew by.</p><p>It was like he blinked and suddenly the tournament was upon him. Kageyama didn't really feel nervous as he knew how good he was and despite the tension he also knew how good his teammates were. They would do well.</p><p>Considering those thoughts the only thing he really felt was the buzz of energy around him whenever he thought of playing volleyball in the tournament.</p><p>"Mama, guess what."</p><p>She turned to him, momentarily pausing her vicious scrubbing on the hardwood. "Hm?"</p><p>"I'm playing in a volleyball tournament tomorrow." Despite the leaps and twists his heart was doing inside his chest, he kept his voice even and calm.</p><p>"Do you think you'll do well?"</p><p>In the past she would've frowned at him and said that time could be used studying. Now it was as if his parents had given up on him being academically inclined, which was for the best. Who knew all he had to do was keep disappointing them and they would eventually hardly care he wasn't getting A's and B's anymore. "I think so." Kageyama replied.</p><p>Maybe to another it would've sounded cocky, or too proud. But all it was, was Kageyama having faith in his abilities. He knew exactly what he was capable of, and he wasn't interested in pretending his playing wasn't anything special.</p><p>He knew it was special. It made Oikawa despise his skills, made the coach praise his skill, even made a few of his other teammates jealous. And most of all, his skill was most certainly apart of what helped him win.</p><p>"Are you excited?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded. How could he not be? "I'm official setter." His mother stared at him blankly, which he'd expected. Whenever he started using volleyball terms, people often looked at him like that. The only exception was when he spoke of spikers. Quite a few people seemed to know about that even if they had no other knowledge of volleyball.</p><p>"I make sure the spiker hits the ball over the net. It's the most important job."</p><p>"Is it now?"</p><p>Kageyama nodded again. "So, can I practice more?"</p><p>"Did you finish your homework?"</p><p>Tobio paused and then murmured, "No," shaking his head slightly.</p><p>"Finish your homework first. How are you to get into a good school if you don't have good grades?"</p><p>Kageyama winced, mostly because she was right. Volleyball wouldn't get him everywhere by itself.</p><p>Studying still seemed like a waste of time at the moment in his opinion though.</p><p>So he decided to use some of the websites Oikawa had told him about. Sure actually studying since he wasn't naturally intelligent like Oikawa was important, but at the same time he needed to practice volleyball as much as he could. If he let himself slack off right before the tournament he wouldn't be at his best when they played the first game tomorrow.</p><p>He purposefully got a few wrong, as to make it not look suspicious, and then hurried off downstairs volleyball in hand. By this time his mother was already starting on dinner and Kageyama only had a few hours of daylight left.</p><p>He set, and served, received, and spiked. It was hard without a partner at times and it was different without Hinata there. He was practicing things differently then he would've had Hinata been there and even the entire atmosphere just felt different. But he could feel himself getting better through repetition. In the end, it didn't matter if he had a partner or not.</p><p>"Tobio, it's almost dinner time, go shower."</p><p>Kageyama sighed at his mother's call from the back door and slowly went back inside, setting his ball down before going upstairs to shower and change into something cleaner and more comfortable.</p><p>He missed Hinata, that much he could admit, and once the tournament was over he swore he'd text him because Kageyama couldn't wait any longer but he also didn't need any stress right before a big game either. So he promised himself he'd do it after the tournament, and he wasn't going to put it off.</p><p>After he showered, Kageyama went downstairs to eat with his parents and then straight to bed so he could get up early in the morning.</p><p>When he did wake, Kageyama rolled over and grabbed his phone off the night stand to see his alarm hadn't gone off and if he didn't hurry he would be late to the first game. Tobio bit his lip and flung the covers off, hurrying to get dressed. "Mama, I'm going to the game now, okay?"</p><p>"Alright." She responded.</p><p>When Kageyama got there, he saw the rest of the team already outside and Kindaichi glaring at him. "Aren't you supposed to be an example to the rest of us losers or something?" he growled.</p><p>"My alarm didn't go off." Kindaichi was right though. Had any of them been late, Kageyama would've been upset too. "Sorry."</p><p>"Whatever, let's just go."</p><p>Kageyama didn't say anything, though he could definitely feel the high tensions in the team. There was nothing he could do about it, but he did hope it wouldn't throw off their playing.</p><p>They walked through the halls of the gymnasium before reaching the gym. Kindaichi opened the door and they all piled in one at a time.</p><p>It was as if the entire gym went silent from their arrival, but that wasn't what had Kageyama feeling sick. He hadn't noticed at first, but like always, it was ginger hair he noticed first. Kageyama's eyes wandered over to Hinata who was staring at him like he was shocked, which was completely ridiculous since of course he'd be here. If anyone should feel shocked, it was Tobio.</p><p>Kageyama just tried to ignore the red head and focus straight ahead but it was a little hard because he could feel the other's eyes on his back, causing Kageyama's heart to race faster.</p><p>"Hey Tobio-kun!"</p><p>Kageyama froze and gritted his teeth, hearing the loud shout echo through the gym causing a few people to stop and turn to who was yelling. He turned as well, hoping his gaze set fire to Hinata's whole head.</p><p>"What." Wait, why was he angry? Maybe it was the new name or the smirk on Hinata's face, he wasn't sure. But something about just looking at him set a fire ablaze inside his stomach. At first, he'd been shocked and surprised to see the red head, but from the moment the other boy opened his mouth that feeling had been instantly replaced.</p><p>"We're going to win." Hinata said determinedly.</p><p>Win? The boy couldn't even receive right. Tobio just glared and couldn't come up with a better response than, "No, us!"</p><p>"Um, Hinata, they're all huge." A boy beside Hinata whispered.</p><p>"Oh yeah…" Hinata murmured staring at Kageyama and then behind him where he supposed the rest of his team was.</p><p>"Hey, King, get over here." Kindaichi barked, "We still have warmups."</p><p>"I'm coming." Kageyama growled and started over to his teammates, telling himself he wouldn't even spare Hinata one more glance before the games began.</p><hr/><p>As it turned out, a few first and second years were missing from the gym so the coach had picked him as the lucky one to fetch them.</p><p>And it turned out they were in the hall with Hinata. "We're going to win…" Hinata grumbled, although it seemed a lot less convincing than earlier, and with skill set Hinata's team had, there wasn't much of a chance they would win.</p><p>"You're going to win?" one of the second years laughed and the other two first years joined in with him. "You can't even get your stomach under control!"</p><p>"And you have the height of an elementary school student!" Another chimed in.</p><p>"That's no way to talk to an upperclassmen!" Hinata squawked.</p><p>"Hey," Kageyama growled, getting the other's attention.</p><p>His three underclassmen paled, "Shit, it's Kageyama-san." One of them whispered.</p><p>"Get back to the gym. Warmups are starting."</p><p>The three paused, staring at him for a moment before they quickly nodded and hurried passed him into the gym.</p><p>"I could've handled it myself." Hinata said before Kageyama had the chance to walk away.</p><p>"Right, because you sure look tough right now."</p><p>Hinata scoffed, "I was about to tell them off. You didn't need to do anything."</p><p>"I was told to get the stragglers, <em>not </em>help you, if it's such a big deal to you. Besides, the reason they were looking down on you is because you're clearly talking big when you can't do shit."</p><p>"It's almost been a whole year since you've seen me! How do you know I can't receive as good as a libero!"</p><p>"Because you'd have to be a genius, that's why, and clearly you aren't."</p><p>Hinata glared at him, "Well I can jump, which you'd know if you ever gave me a chance to hit your sets! But since you didn't, I guess you're not as prepared as you could've been."</p><p>"Shut the fuck up!"</p><p>"I'll shut the fuck up when you get an attitude adjustment, Tobio-kun."</p><p>"And don't call me that, we aren't that close!"</p><p>"Maybe not, but I know it pisses you off." Hinata said, and shoved passed him down the hall.</p><p>"I thought you had to use the bathroom—" one of Hinata's teammates started.</p><p>"Not anymore. I'm ready to win!" Hinata cried, the gym door slamming shut behind him.</p><p>Tobio stared after it and took a deep breath. This game was sure to be interesting at least.</p><p>In the end, Kageyama's team won, and while he wasn't exactly surprised by that fact, he was shocked by what Hinata had almost managed to pull off with one of his spikes.</p><p>"What the hell have you been doing for these past three years." Kageyama hissed. He didn't know what exactly he was angry about, but he saw so much hidden potential and he wasn't sure if he was angry at Hinata for not knowing how to use that potential, or at himself for missing it completely.</p><p>Hinata glared at him, but said nothing while his friends in the back yelled at him for saying that. Kageyama ignored them and turned on his heel to line up with his team.</p><p>"Do you two know each other or something." Kindaichi asked.</p><p>"None of your business. And next time, run faster."</p><p>Kindaichi gritted his teeth and turned his hard gaze to the floor while they thanked the other team for playing.</p><p>They packed up their supplies and started out of the stadium.</p><p>"Tobio-kun!"</p><p>Kageyama almost groaned but instead turned to look at Hinata, standing a few steps up from him. "If you're the King of the Court," he pointed and Tobio had to stop himself from cringing at the name, "then I'm gonna be the one to kick you off your throne, got it!"</p><p>"Only the strongest get to keep playing." Kageyama said.</p><p>"Then I'm going to become strong. Just you watch."</p><p>Kageyama didn't say anything and turned back to walk with the rest of his team. Maybe that had been where he should've apologized for that day, but Hinata had gotten him too riled up to think of anything besides victory and the apology might've come off as insincere. Plus he'd been pissed off.</p><p>He would text Hinata and ask to meet him somewhere so he could apologize. But he was going to do that after the tournament.</p><p>It sounded like a good idea inside his head at least.</p><p>"Kageyama we're tired of taking your crap." Kindaichi growled one day while they were practicing and Kunimi didn't say anything but it was obvious he agreed. "You aren't even the captain but you bark more orders than he ever has."</p><p>"Well maybe if you ever listened, I wouldn't have to repeat myself. Didn't we already have this conversation?"</p><p>Kindaichi clenched his hands into fists. "Yeah, we have, but you can't seem to listen when we tell you we aren't your damn servants!"</p><p>"Fuck off." Kageyama muttered.</p><p>"We're trying to reason with you!"</p><p>It was a little late for that, Kageyama was already furious at the both of them. "Well <em>please </em>try to be faster than a fucking snail next time!"</p><p>"Oh yeah well you should stop moving your arms like they're hummingbird wings!" Kindaichi seemed to realize that wasn't a very good insult and added, "Whatever. You can't reason with a dictator anyway."</p><p>Kageyama said nothing and continued to practice on his own so he'd be ready for the next game. Despite his skills, Tobio knew he could still improve by leaps and bounds, and he'd have to if he wanted to play in any games with Oikawa around as setter.</p><p>He would never be official setter while Oikawa was around, but if he became good enough, maybe he could be swapped in in place of any other backup setters should Oikawa ever get injured or sick. And maybe once Oikawa left he could play even more often.</p><p>There were problems that came with being a first year, problems he hadn't had to deal with in two years. But once he graduated he would be an underclassmen again, which meant less opportunity to play.</p><p>Maybe he should go to Shiritorizawa instead. It wouldn't make Iwaizumi or Oikawa happy, but Shiritorizawa was the top school in the prefecture. It'd be a waste not to at least try. It'd be unlikely for him to get an invitation, but maybe if he studied hard enough he could pass the entrance exam.</p><p>"Hey, look out!" Kageyama was jerked out of his thoughts by the shout and then the feeling of a ball slamming into the back of his head. <em>Damn, should've been paying more attention </em>Kageyama thought bitterly, turning to glare at the first year who's serve had probably gone awry. "S-sorry Senpai." The younger stuttered out nervously.</p><p>"Whatever." Kageyama said, even though he now had a splitting headache that had nothing to do with stress. "But try and aim better next time."</p><p>"Um… okay."</p><p>Kageyama was just glad they were too far away for Kindaichi to hear, otherwise he'd definitely have something to say about his lackluster advice.</p><p>So Kageyama alternated between practice, games, and home and hadn't gone anywhere else for an entire week. If they won in their prefecture, he would be playing games for even longer.</p><p>Which meant they had to win today's game. They had made it this far and there was only one obstacle left between him and continuing to play.</p><p>The game was going as usual. Kindaichi and Kunimi were barely hitting his tosses so he yelled at them to go faster. Not that they ever listened.</p><p>Kindaichi was glaring at him more than usual, and Kunimi was more closed off than usual though. In fact his entire team was more closed off than usual but Kageyama wasn't really sure how to bring that up so he just ignored it.</p><p>The ball felt good in his hands too, better than it usually did. Time felt slower than it usually did. Kageyama could see what the blockers were doing, they knew which way he was going to set. There was only one blocker where Kunimi would be and two who would be almost at Kindaichi.</p><p>Kunimi was slower though, tended to try and hit his sets even slower than Kindaichi. Whether that was because he was simply slower or because Kunimi was more spiteful, Kageyama didn't know. He could go for a setter dump, but he wasn't exactly the best at concealing those yet, and if it failed it would bring the entire team's spirit down.</p><p>So, he decided to set to Kindaichi. If they scored this point they'd have a 2-point lead. The blockers were almost there though, which only meant one thing.</p><p>
  <em>Faster.</em>
</p><p>He set the ball. It was probably the fastest set he'd ever done, but he was sure Kindaichi could get to it, with his skills, if he really wanted to hit that ball, he'd get to it.</p><p>Kageyama glanced behind himself, only to startle when he didn't see Kindaichi there to spike. In fact, Kageyama couldn't even see him running up to the ball.</p><p>He whipped his head around to look behind himself and saw Kindaichi, Kunimi, and the rest of the team standing at the back of the court.</p><p>And the only sound Tobio could hear was the sound of the ball hitting the floor on their side of the net without a spiker even trying to get it.</p><p>Kageyama would be lying if he said he didn't immediately feel a flare of anger. How dare Kindaichi let his personal feelings get in the way of playing. How dare they all. Kageyama hadn't, no matter how many times he was called 'king', knowing exactly what it meant, no matter how many people 'accidentally' bumped into him, no matter how many times he found stupid notes in his locker and desk written by people he didn't even know thinking they knew him. No matter what, he never let it stop him from playing, no matter how much he wanted to take every thought in his brain and shove it into Kindaichi's head so that he might finally be understood.</p><p>As it was, maybe Kageyama should've gotten more personal, because his effort to keep feelings and volleyball separate had obviously not been reciprocated.</p><p>Now he paid the price for that.</p><p>Paid the price for not letting anything get to him.</p><p>But if he really took a moment to think about it, had all of it really not gotten to him? Or had the anger just manifested into the form of using his own superior setting skills to throw every mistake into his teammates faces.</p><p>When had it even gotten this bad?</p><p>He couldn't remember.</p><p>Kageyama felt his hands start to tremble.</p><p>What he would remember was the sound of the volleyball hitting their side of the net, and his teammates standing from afar and the obvious rift between all of them. He would remember the blow of the whistle calling him from the game.</p><p>He would remember looking into the faces of the crowd in the stands for the first time since he got there. Would remember seeing Iwaizumi's furrowed eyebrows as if he didn't understand what just happened, and seeing Oikawa's stone cold eyes because he knew exactly.</p><p>He was so busy trying not to look at them he almost missed Hinata's bright, red hair. Kageyama didn't see his face though, because he looked away, not wanting to see it.</p><p>He would remember sitting on the bench for the first time in a long time, with an ache in his muscles and a numbness everywhere else.</p><p>He would remember throwing a shirt over his head and trying not to cry and failing miserably too.</p><p>He would remember their team losing, but not even feeling a bitter sense of happiness about it.</p><p>Maybe out of it all he should've remembered losing the game the most, or the betrayal he felt the most. But he knew the thing that would haunt his dreams was the looks on their faces and the knowledge that he deserved it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hehe, you're welcome.</p><p>Btw, I'm kinda hoping to get the next chapter out by the 25th but like we'll see. Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the game was over and everyone was allowed to leave, Kageyama rushed to find a place where he could be alone. He decided to go into one of the bathrooms and lock himself in one of the stalls. His entire body shook no matter how hard Kageyama tried to get it under control.</p><p>Tobio felt like he might throw up.</p><p>Shakily, Kageyama pulled up the sleeves of the shirt he wore under his jersey to see a few messages scrawled across them and felt the irresistible urge to scrub it all off. He didn't know why he felt this way but all at once he didn't want to see the words on his skin.</p><p>Kageyama jumped when he heard the bathroom door bang open and let out small squeak before biting his lip and pulling his sleeves down again.</p><p>If he looked under the door he could see someone's shoes, but they were just standing there, unmoving. They didn't go into one of the stalls or move toward a sink, they just planted themselves there. "Tobio-chan! I know you're in here. I have something to say to you."</p><p>Kageyama cringed and had to resist punching the bathroom stall door because of fucking course Oikawa had something to say to him, right now when Kageyama wasn't even sure he could stand properly.</p><p>"I can see your shoes."</p><p>At that proclamation Kageyama held back a sigh because there was really no way to get around this.</p><p>Tobio slowly unlocked the door and walked out choosing to lean on the stall when his legs started shaking slightly. Oikawa was angry, Kageyama could tell, and it wasn't as if Oikawa had never been angry with him but this time felt different.</p><p>"How could you be so selfish!" Oikawa cried and Kageyama did not let himself cringe a second time. "I was all the way up in the back row of the stands and I could still hear you yelling at them whenever they couldn't hit your tosses, which I might add, were horribly thought out. Why the hell would you keep sending your spikers a set they could barely hit."</p><p>"They could've hit it perfectly!" Kageyama growled. "They're just lazy!"</p><p>"That's ridiculous! We were all watching you set! There's almost no one who could've hit that ball with full force."</p><p>Kageyama didn't allow himself to cower back or cry because he deserved every word.</p><p>This wasn't even like it used to be when Kageyama did something the older didn't like either. Oikawa's voice wasn't sneering or used solely to upset him. The older boy was just genuinely angry about how Kageyama had acted, and of course Tobio couldn't really blame him when he was upset with himself.</p><p>"But they… but," Kageyama couldn't come up with any comeback. Maybe because Oikawa was right. Tobio had no excuse for anything he'd done, no justification. "They left me." Kageyama wasn't sure why he said that, because of course they had.</p><p>Oikawa seemed to have the same thoughts. "That's because you were a horrible teammate to them! I guess now at least I know why you're being called <em>King of the Court</em>."</p><p>"It's not as if you're a genius for figuring it out." Kageyama growled, clenching his fists because he would never submit like this even if he knew Oikawa was right.</p><p>Oikawa said nothing to Kageyama's taunt, "Honestly, Tobio! What would your parents say about this, what would your soulmate say, your friends!"</p><p>They would say exactly what Oikawa was saying. "Well it doesn't matter because…" Kageyama swallowed, "because I don't have a soulmate."</p><p>"Yeah, well it's probably a good thing you don't because they'd be pretty fucking disappointed right now."</p><p>The bathroom became silent after that exclamation and all Tobio could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears. It took a few moments of blinking back the tears for Kageyama to be able to look up and see Oikawa's guilty expression staring back at him.</p><p>"Tobio-chan… what, what I meant to say was—"</p><p>"Fuck you!" Kageyama screamed and if someone had asked, Tobio would've told them the rest happened in a blur. Kageyama slammed into Oikawa, the both of them falling hard on the ground. "I hate you! I hate you so fucking much! You're so stupid, and mean, and oblivious!"</p><p>Completely oblivious to almost all the things that really mattered. Kageyama finally felt warm tears break loose and fall down his face. "You're so stupid." Kageyama whispered, his voice broken half way through with another cry.</p><p>And Oikawa wasn't the only one. How could Kageyama have waited so long how could it come out like this?</p><p>When Kageyama had thought of how his confession would come out, never in his wildest dreams had it been like this. He hadn't thought about confessing often, but when he did he hadn't been in a sweaty volleyball uniform. He hadn't just gotten abandoned by his team. They weren't lying on the dirty bathroom floor. Usually, he'd pictured it in a park, or sitting in a living room where Kageyama blushed and slowly pulled up his sleeves and wrote on his arm watching it appear on their skin.</p><p>The confession was not supposed to happen in a fit of blind rage.</p><p>But here he was.</p><p>"I'm your soulmate." Kageyama whispered, so quietly he wasn't sure Oikawa heard. "I'm your damn soulmate." The rage slowly faded, nervousness, and shaking taking it's place as Tobio slowly pulled up his sleeves, Oikawa and Iwaizumi's words from that morning proudly on display.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure what he was expecting. Maybe for Oikawa to yell at him for lying, tell him he'd never want to be his soulmate, tell him no one would ever want him because all of that would be true.</p><p>Tobio truly didn't know what would happen but he'd imagined the worst reactions far more times than the best.</p><p>One reaction he'd never anticipated, however, was for Oikawa to simply stare at him. "You're… you're my…" Oikawa took one of Tobio's arms just as shakily as Kageyama had done not too long ago, his brows furrowed in confusion.</p><p>Oikawa kept reading the words over and over as if he couldn't understand them, or maybe as if he didn't believe them. "But you said…"</p><p>"I lied."</p><p>He always lied.</p><p>Kageyama was still crying, though far more softly than before, when Oikawa slowly let go of his arm and shoved him off.</p><p>The older boy turned on his heel and hurried out of the bathroom, a hand to his mouth either in shock or disgust.</p><p>Kageyama was confused for a moment about what that meant, but then more tears welled up in his eyes at what had obviously been a rejection. What kind of person ran away if they were going to accept him? Wouldn't they rather talk? Figure everything out?</p><p>So Kageyama took it as rejection.</p><p>And just as luck would have it, Oikawa bumped right into Iwaizumi as he tried to slip out of the bathroom. "Tooru, what—" Oikawa shoved past Iwaizumi in his rush to get out, "Hey! Where are you going!"</p><p>There was no reply.</p><p>Iwaizumi turned to Kageyama then while he desperately tried to wipe away the tears and snot. Iwaizumi's concerned expression became even more concerned.</p><p>"Hey, what's going on, Kageyama? Are you alright." The older boy asked coming over and sitting down beside him.</p><p>Tobio didn't say anything. Nothing was alright, everything was falling apart and he had no idea how to fix it. "Iwaizumi-san," Kageyama said quietly.</p><p>Iwaizumi turned to him, a confused and worried expression on his face, "Is everything okay. Did you and Tooru fight?"</p><p>Technically yes.</p><p>Iwaizumi reached out a hand and wiped a few tears off Kageyama's face, and in that moment Tobio wanted to kiss him. He really, really did. Everything about Iwaizumi made him feel warm, and safe and Kageyama just wanted him to understand and want what he wanted.</p><p>"I like you."</p><p>It was more than that.</p><p>Iwaizumi smiled, "I like you too." And Kageyama could instantly tell Iwaizumi didn't understand what he was saying, not that he would've known either had Iwaizumi said something like that to him.</p><p>"I mean, I really like you. Romantically." He elaborated rather bluntly.</p><p>"Oh…"</p><p>Iwaizumi bit his lip and turned to Kageyama. Tobio didn't like the look on his face and almost wanted to run before he heard Iwaizumi's answer because that expression was not the one he had wanted. "Look, Kageyama," Iwaizumi started, "don't get me wrong. I really like you. You've grown on me a lot since we first met three years ago. But, I like Tooru romantically, he's my soulmate. Kageyama, you're amazing, funny, and you're good looking. I like you, but I don't think I can see you that way."</p><p>So in other words, whether they knew he was their soulmate or not, it didn't matter. He would still be rejected.</p><p>His mother had been right. Soulmates meant everything to some people, they didn't leave room for anyone else. And if they didn't know you were there soulmate you were suddenly not even pursuable. Even Oikawa who knew still didn't care and had just run off.</p><p>"I know something that might change your mind." Kageyama muttered, and he couldn't help but sound bitter. If Iwaizumi knew he was his soulmate, would he instantly become more attractive? Because of a few words? Or did he simply not want it because he thought he found his only soulmate?</p><p>It didn't matter either way. If he only liked Kageyama for the title of soulmate than that just proved his mother more right than before.</p><p>Iwaizumi didn't say anything, and Kageyama didn't give him the chance to. He left the bathroom as quickly as possible and found somewhere else to hide.</p><p>What was he going to do now? They lost the game so it wasn't as if he technically had to go back to the gym and if he really thought about it, he never really practiced with anyone else so it didn't matter whether he was in the gym or not anyway.</p><p>Kageyama clenched his fists, trying to ignore the pounding inside his head and what just happened and leaned his head back against the wall a few stray tears still leaking out of his eyes.</p><p>He decided he would go home as soon as he had enough strength to stand again. He turned his face, pressing his forehead and cheek to the cold wall which helped some of the flush on his cheeks go away and cooled him off.</p><p>When Kageyama was sure he wasn't going to collapse on his way home, he slowly stood up, leaning as much weight on the wall as he could and shuffled out of the building. Kageyama wasn't sure why he felt so weak but he blamed it on the game and the recent stress he was put under.</p><p>As he was walking down the stairs to the sidewalk he felt someone bump into him. With the sharp collision an instant pain burst through his shoulder and made Kageyama stumble back, barely catching himself on the railing of the stairs before he fell. Once he steadied himself Kageyama risked a glance up to see who'd bumped into him.</p><p>Bright, red hair flooded his vision.</p><p>"Hi…" Hinata murmrued with a small smile and nervous wave. "Sorry I uh… was rushing somewhere."</p><p>Kageyama narrowed his eyes, "What do you want?"</p><p>Hinata seemed annoyed with his curt answer but let out a sigh, "Well, it's just that… I just… I saw what happened." Hinata explained clumsily and as soon as those words left Hinata's mouth Kageyama just wanted to bury himself inside a hole, never come out, and if he never got to play volleyball again because of that then so be it.</p><p>"Okay," Was what Kageyama decided to say, his voice filled with hesitancy. He didn't know why it was such a surprise, of course he'd seen what happened. Everyone in that entire gym saw what happened. The acknowledgement made it that more real, however.</p><p>"So, I guess the reason I'm here is… I mean, are you okay?"</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>How could Kageyama possibly be okay? Abandoned by his team in the middle of a game, rejected by his soulmates, with no friends, and in need of a lie for why he was crying that he could feed his parents when he returned home.</p><p>Kageyama would never let them know they had been right all along. He supposed he didn't want to do that for any particular reason but he could already hear the 'I told you so' in his head and the long lecture that might follow.</p><p>"I'll be okay."</p><p>Eventually.</p><p>"What happened, why'd you get pulled out?"</p><p>"It's none of your business <em>Hinata-san</em>." Kageyama bit out, confused about why Hinata cared so much, and defensive.</p><p>Hinata wrinkled his nose. "Look, I know your pissed cus I called you Tobio-kun but did you really have to pick a name so completely unnatural for you?"</p><p>"I don't care. Just leave me alone."</p><p>"But you're upset."</p><p>"I'm not! I swear, okay." Kageyama growled, stumbling down the rest of the steps, and frustrated because he was not making a very convincing argument.</p><p>"Wait" Hinata grabbed his wrist, "You're obviously upset just like you were whenever you lashed out at me. Don't you think you should feel your emotions instead pretending you're happy! Before you can't pretend anymore and lash out at someone innocent again!"</p><p>But Kageyama didn't want to feel his emotions, he just wanted to forget them.</p><p>"Please talk to me."</p><p>"I told them." Kageyama blurted out and squeezed his eyes shut, instantly regretting his decision to say that. Hinata furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I told Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san I was their soulmate."</p><p>"Oh, and what did they…" Hinata trailed off when Tobio's face crumpled.</p><p>"They don't want me. They don't," Kageyama's voice cracked, unable to finish the sentence. It was too much. All this time he'd been worried about what would happen next if they did want him and he hadn't thought of what he would feel if they didn't. It was worse than getting abandoned by his team. He could find a new team. He only had two soulmates. Kageyama didn't get do-overs with two new people. He was stuck with the two of them not wanting him.</p><p>Kageyama started to shake again, more tears forcing themselves out of his eyes, throat constricting so much he could barely breathe. Kageyama felt Hinata's arms wrap around him and pull him against the other's body.</p><p>The position was a little awkward because of how much shorter Hinata was compared to him but he didn't really care. He just wanted to feel that same warmth he felt that day when Iwaizumi had comforted him. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he could—"When did you get so tall?" And just like that the illusion he'd tried to create was broken.</p><p>"I've always been taller than you." Which was a lie. At one point Hinata and Kageyama had pretty much been the same height. But while Kageyama had gained a good eight inches Hinata had gained about three. Kageyama laid his head on Hinata's shoulder, not sure if he was supposed to tell him the story or not.</p><p>He decided to tell him. "I was in the bathroom, and I was trying to forget about what had just happened with the team. And then Oikawa-san came in and told me to come out and then he yelled at me a lot for what I did to my teammates. So I kind of tackled him."</p><p>"Damn."</p><p>"Yeah, and I showed him my arms. After I did that he ran away and Iwaizumi-san came in. I didn't show him my arms but I told him I liked him and he said he didn't feel that way. I guess he'll find out I'm his other soulmate soon enough though because Oikawa-san will tell him."</p><p>"Yeah, you're probably right."</p><p>After Kageyama's confession, they both fell silent for a while until Kageyama worked up the nerve to say, "Actually I've been wanting to talk to you for a while." he pulled away after he said that.</p><p>Hinata tilted his head in question even though Kageyama was pretty sure they both knew what he was about to say. "I'm… really sorry… about what I did." If Kageyama was being honest, this sort of reconciliation felt like it was being done out of pity, which was the last thing Kageyama wanted. He didn't want everything to be alright just because of what had happened with his team today. He didn't want Hinata to forgive him out of pity. "I never should've said all those terrible things to you, I shouldn't have yelled. I was just frustrated but not at you and I felt helpless but there's no excuse." Even though Kageyama had tried to ignore his feelings and just focus on playing volleyball the guilt had steadily started to eat away at him and now it was as if everything he was ignoring crashed down all at once.</p><p>"I mean, I kind of forgave you a while ago," Hinata said, "we all get angry. That isn't an excuse but, I sort of understood I guess. At this point I was just waiting for you to call."</p><p>"Well… I was waiting until after the tournament."</p><p>"You were taking a long time, I thought you might've forgotten but then you went all stiff when you saw me at the tournament and then you got pissed so I figured you might just feel awkward."</p><p>Kageyama glared, "I'm not awkward.</p><p>"You kind of are though." Hinata continued before Kageyama could protest again, "Anyway, after that I thought <em>I </em>might have to call you first but then I saw what happened and figured you might need someone to talk to."</p><p>Maybe he did. Kageyama hadn't talked to anyone besides Iwaizumi and Oikawa in a long time and now they were mad at him too. He knew what had happened in the gym was mainly his fault but at the same time he couldn't help but want to scream at the unfairness of it all too. Kindaichi and Kunimi got to do whatever they wanted. Oikawa always liked them, they never had to worm their way into his life bit by bit just to get some recognition. No one ever told them to stop calling him 'king', no one who ever pushed or spat on him got into trouble. Why was it only him? Why was everyone always only mad or disappointed in him?</p><p>"I hate them."</p><p>"Hm," Hinata gave a thoughtful look, "you know what I do when I decide I don't want someone in my life anymore?"</p><p>Kageyama shook his head.</p><p>"I just don't give a fuck. I think it's a lot better than hating someone because when you do that you waste energy on them, and I don't have time to dwell on that."</p><p>Maybe at one point Kageyama could do the same, but everything was too fresh for that at the moment.</p><p>"Alright, so um…" Kageyama desperately wanted to change the subject but was also a little scared to be presumptuous so he asked, "what does this mean exactly?"</p><p>"Well, I think it means we can be friends again, hopefully?"</p><p>"Yeah… um, thanks." Kageyama murmured.</p><p>"You don't need to thank me Yamayama. Besides, it's not like you could ever say those things about me again because one, I'm going to be on an actual team. Two, you saw me play and I don't suck."</p><p>"Well, you kinda—"</p><p>"And <em>three </em>I talk just the right amount."</p><p>For an average person, Kageyama was pretty sure Hinata talked way too much. But for Kageyama, Hinata filled his silences so it was okay if he talked more than the average person.</p><p>"Right… yeah, so um," Kageyama flushed red and swallowed hard, "Do you um…" Kageyama's heart pounded rapidly inside his chest. "Do you maybe wanna walk home together?"</p><p>"Sounds fun." Hinata grinned at him, a purely delighted smile Kageyama had not seen in a long time because of his own stubbornness.</p><p>The two started back down the stairs, walking toward the street when Kageyama heard voices from behind the gymnasium. If Kageyama listened closely enough, it almost sounded like Oikawa's voice yelling.</p><p>"Hinata, do you hear that?"</p><p>"Hm," Hinata swiveled his head to face Kageyama.</p><p>"Somebody's yelling." Kageyama murmured, slowly creeping towards the sound, Hinata stomping along behind him. It could very well be nothing, but what if someone was about to die? He didn't know what he would do if that were the case but he couldn't walk away and pretend he didn't hear anything either.</p><p>Kageyama carefully peered around the corner to see the two people he probably wanted to see least in the world at the moment, and it seemed like they were arguing.</p><p>"Iwa-chan, why the hell are you defending him! Are you not angry about being lied to! He's just been walking around this entire time pretending he's a normal underclassmen of ours!"</p><p>"It's not that I'm not angry, but I'm not stupid enough to go march up to him and demand an explanation."</p><p>"It's not stupid, it's completely reasonable! We deserve an explanation for all of this and I'm not going to sit here and wait for him to decide whether to tell us something we should already fucking know about."</p><p>Iwaizumi huffed and rolled his eyes, "Look, Tooru, if you actually bothered to put yourself in his place all the answers to your questions would be perfectly clear. We've known each other since elementary, we've been soulmates and known that since third grade. Then Kageyama finds out he's a third and doesn't know what to do after we remind him every damn day that we're perfect for each other! If I'd known I never would've said half the things to him that I did! Not to mention you keep playing this hot and cold game where you act friendly one moment and hostile the next like what the fuck was he supposed to think!"</p><p>"I don't know!" Oikawa screeched. "He should've told us, he shouldn't have lied, he shouldn't have been a dick to his teammates."</p><p>"Right, like you shouldn't have been a dick to him."</p><p>"It's different."</p><p>"It isn't."</p><p>"Ugh, well it's not like I'm like that to everyone. Don't act like you don't have that one person who's face just gets on your nerves!"</p><p>"I do, but I usually keep it to myself."</p><p>Oikawa glared at him, "Whatever, it just comes out sometimes."</p><p>"Well…" Iwaizumi paused, "what do you want to do now, Tooru? I already told him I didn't like him but I also didn't know he was our soulmate and if I told him I liked him back, it would've felt like I was cheating on you or something."</p><p>"I don't know what to think right now." Oikawa said and crossed his arms. "I just need time. We'll talk about it later. <em>Not </em>through the soulmate bond, he can see that."</p><p>Kageyama didn't really want to hear this conversation, it obviously wasn't meant for him. And he, like Oikawa, wasn't sure what to think at this point.</p><p>Now that it seemed mostly over though and no one was dying Kageyama said, "Actually Hinata, I think I'm gonna go home alone today if that's okay," he murmured to Hinata who nodded slowly and gave him a smile that was probably supposed to look reassuring.</p><p>Kageyama started walking home then. After today, all Kageyama really wanted was to go home. He was tired and frustrated because the reaction he'd gotten out of the two of them was honestly the last thing he'd wanted even if it had been somewhat expected. Confusion, anger, denial, he'd predicted all of it.</p><p>When he got home he saw his mother was cooking dinner and his father was nowhere to be found. All Kageyama wanted to do was just go curl up in his bed under the covers and never come out.</p><p>"Tobio, you're home." His mother stated before Tobio could run to his room.</p><p>"Yes…"</p><p>"Did you win?"</p><p>"Um, no," Kageyama paused. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to tell his mother what happened even if she might tell him she knew it all along. Instead, Kageyama tried a theoretical question to ask his mother's advice.</p><p>"Mama what would you have done, before you hated your soulmate, if you found out they didn't really like you."</p><p>His mother was silent for several minutes, probably wondering why he would ask something like that before answering, "I suppose I would've found someone else."</p><p>"But what if you really, really want it to work out." Kageyama asked, digging his nails into the palm of his hand. He wanted his soulmates so bad, he wanted them to like him, be with him, acknowledge him. Kageyama wasn't sure if he could ever like anybody else quite so deeply.</p><p>His mother stopped stirring the pot and turned to look at him, her eyes trying to calculate what he was really getting at. "It doesn't much matter, if they don't like you."</p><p>And of course she would give an answer like that. And of course she wasn't wrong either. If Iwaizumi and Oikawa really didn't want him there wasn't much he could do except move on, even though that thought made him feel like a weight was pressed on top of his chest.</p><p>He turned toward the stairs after that, feeling her gaze on him as he dragged himself up one step at a time to his room.</p><p>Once he got to his bedroom he kept the lights off, crawled in bed, and tried to fall asleep. He didn't care if he was covered in sweat or dirt, he'd wash the sheets tomorrow. All he wanted was escape in that moment and forget that he had to wait for Iwaizumi and Oikawa to make a decision he might never be able to quite cope with.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Merry Christmas! Hope you guys liked your Christmas present ;)</p><p>Lol this chapter was an absolute mess, I wasn't sure I'd be done in time. The first part was ok, I didn't have to change much but the second half... it was a train wreck to say the least. Either way, I like how it came out, I had been planning something like this for a long time and now it's finally here. Also, the next update might take a little while as I try to navigate what should happen next, so if it takes longer than usual, I'm probably writing a bunch of half chapters. So ya, hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama didn't do much all Summer long. He'd blocked Oikawa and Iwaizumi's numbers for the time being simply because he wasn't sure if he could handle talking to them at the moment.</p><p>And with Hinata around more often, he didn't feel the urge to text them either.</p><p>Currently, Hinata was trying to persuade him to come to Karasuno because it was supposedly where his idol went. Kageyama didn't care much about that, and hadn't even heard of the guy before Hinata brought it up, however he had heard rumors Ukai coming back to coach which was enough of a reason to deeply consider it.</p><p>The other reasons were that he definitely wasn't going to Seijoh after what happened, and he failed the entrance exam to Shiratorizawa.</p><p>"I would be sad that I won't get to beat you in an official match, but maybe after high school!" Hinata told him while asking about whether he was going to go to Karasuno.</p><p>"Stop thinking three years ahead already." Kageyama snapped. "And I haven't made a decision yet."</p><p>Hinata huffed, "Just admit you're going to Karasuno. Why would you want to go to any other school?"</p><p>"I don't know…"</p><p>"Exactly."</p><p>As it turned out, Hinata was right. The more Kageyama thought about it, the more Karasuno seemed like the best choice. They were a mediocre school, and it might be hard to put them on the map. But if he went there and Coach Ukai came back then he was sure even a mediocre team like Karasuno would do well.</p><p>With that in mind, he accepted the invitation to Karasuno, and threw the one from Aoba Johsai away. His mother had asked what changed his mind and Kageyama told her the players at Karasuno were bound to be better than the ones at Seijoh which considering Hinata was the only other player he knew going there, wasn't very likely to be the truth.</p><p>Either way, it got her to stop asking questions without Kageyama having to explain what really happened.</p><hr/><p>The first day of school, Kageyama woke up two hours early and couldn't go back to sleep. So, he got up and decided to put an immense amount of time into getting ready with a vigor he knew wouldn't even last for two more days. He couldn't help it though, first days always made him feel anxious.</p><p>When he got downstairs his father hadn't even left for work and his mother wasn't up, which meant it was still early. Kageyama's father raised an eyebrow when he saw him already downstairs, "Do you know what time it is?"</p><p>"Um… like, seven?"</p><p>"No. It's five."</p><p>"Oh." Kageyama murmured, stared at his father reading the newspaper a little longer, and then wandered around the house, making sure everything looked okay until his mother got up and he helped her make breakfast.</p><p>Whenever he was standing next to her, it made him realize how tall he'd gotten. Considering his club, he usually spent most of his time around people who were just as tall or even taller than him and he didn't much notice the difference until he stood next to his mother, who didn't even quite reach his shoulder anymore.</p><p>"So, um, mama, I was wondering about something." His mother said nothing or even gave a different look to indicate she'd heard but he continued anyway. "What do you think of me?"</p><p>She furrowed her eyebrows, "You're my son."</p><p>"I mean my personality. Do you think I have a good personality?"</p><p>"I suppose."</p><p>Kageyama could tell she didn't really understand what he was trying to say. He didn't even know what he was trying to say. He just wanted to hear her say that he was a good person and there would be people out there that liked him. He didn't know how to phrase the question that might warrant that type of response out of her though.</p><p>"Do you think other people will like me?"</p><p>"Yes." She sighed. "If someone wants to be your friend, then they will try to get to know you."</p><p>"What if someone else has already told them the worst things you've ever done?"</p><p>She shrugged, "I'm not sure, but I think it depends on the bad things they were told." She glanced at him. "Tobio, have you done something?"</p><p>"I wasn't a good teammate last year," Kageyama said vaguely, dishing out the food. "What if my new teammates know that I'm a bad person?"</p><p>"I do not think you're a bad person, but I suppose you might show them how you've changed."</p><p>Kageyama glared at his rice and looked at her, "How do you know that?"</p><p>"I spent many days in my youth obsessing about how to make everyone like me."</p><p>"Well why not anymore?"</p><p>"It was a waste of time. People either like you or an alternate identity you created for them. Just be yourself, Tobio."</p><p>Kageyama frowned because sometimes all he wanted was to be someone else. And once upon a time Oikawa had told him to not be himself, although he could've been joking. He knew his mother was serious though because she never made any jokes. And it was his mother, she probably had better advice.</p><p>"You should hurry and eat or you'll be late." She said.</p><p>Tobio glanced at the time and started eating quicker.</p><p>Once he got to school, the big building was a little overwhelming, and the hallways seemed very intimidating compared to middle school.</p><p>It was unusual for first years to start club activities early considering they weren't required to for two weeks and that time was usually used to search for a club they wanted to be in.</p><p>Kageyama had already signed up for volleyball though, and knew that was the only club he wanted to do, so he wanted to get started as soon as possible.</p><p>No doubt Hinata felt the same way.</p><p>Tobio decided it would be okay to go check out the gym. Classes didn't start for a little while longer, so it shouldn't be a problem to get some early practice in.</p><p>It was so early, even the second and third years probably hadn't arrived yet. He walked down to the gym and realized he'd dressed for school instead of volleyballs. So even though there was no one in the locker room, he went in a private stall just in case someone came in.</p><p>At this point, Kageyama wasn't sure where his parents stood with the 'no-showing arms' thing, but Kageyama always wore long sleeves at home anyway, and now Kageyama wasn't even sure if he felt comfortable showing his arms anywhere.</p><p>There hadn't been any writing since the end of middle school. Kageyama knew because he'd checked every day almost obsessively. The habit had weened in the past couple weeks and he figured he'd see it when he showered or something.</p><p>And besides the soulmate thing, Kageyama was still uncomfortable undressing in front of others.</p><p>When Tobio was finished, he walked out into the gym and started practicing.</p><p>He hadn't been at it very long when he heard a gasp-like shriek from behind him and completely missed the volleyball, resulting in it landing on his head.</p><p>"Yamayama! You actually came here!" orange hair invaded his vision.</p><p>"Didn't I… tell you that?" Kageyama asked the red head, gingerly rubbing the back of his head.</p><p>"No! The last time we talked you said, 'Stop thinking three years ahead. I haven't even made a decision yet'." Hinata growled in an overly grouchy voice with a hard scowl on his face to imitate Kageyama.</p><p>"I don't sound or look like that!"</p><p>"Yeah, you're right. Your expression is more like," Hinata pulled an even grouchier face, "this!"</p><p>"Shut up! People with dumb smiles don't get to make fun of my expressions!"</p><p>"Oh yeah, well I bet your smile is grouchy too!"</p><p>"I'm not grouchy!"</p><p>"Then what are you scowling for, hm?"</p><p>Kageyama decided to turn away at that point because he was pretty sure his scowl got even deeper.</p><p>"So…" Hinata paused as if he was unsure whether he should ask his question, "did Shiratorizawa reject you or something?"</p><p>"Yeah." Kageyama muttered bluntly, not exactly proud of that fact. "And it's not like I'm going to Seijoh, so I came here."</p><p>Hinata squealed again, making Kageyama wince, "Would you stop that!"</p><p>"Sorry, I'm just excited. You're finally gonna see what I'm really made of Kageyama Tobio!"</p><p>Kageyama, for his part, rolled his eyes at Hinata's over enthusiastic exclamations.</p><p>Their talk was interrupted however, by voices from outside a gym, one voice sounding vaguely threatening and the others were trying to tell him to stop.</p><p>"You don't have to threaten everyone, Tanaka."</p><p>"What're you gonna do about it? Nothing!"</p><p>Kageyama was pretty sure he heard a sigh of exasperation before three people walked into the gym. Tobio stiffened and stood straighter because they must be upperclassmen.</p><p>Hinata stared suspiciously and sidled up next to Kageyama, maybe slightly behind him. "Um, hi." Kageyama said and could've smacked himself. What kind of a greeting was that?</p><p>"Hello, you two must be first years right? Kageyama, if I remember right." A dark-haired boy said. He was toned, his skin slightly darker than the others, and he gave off a vibe similar to Iwaizumi.</p><p>"Yes, I'm him."</p><p>"Wow, you really are tall," the one who spoke this time had lighter hair and a beauty mark near one of his eyes.</p><p>"He's not that tall," this time the bald one who had an unpleasant expression on his face. "You're a third year, Suga, you should be establishing dominance!"</p><p>The boy with the beauty mark-Suga, laughed lightly, "Stop it, Tanaka." After he turned back to Kageyama, "So, how tall are you, exactly, Kageyama?"</p><p>"Six feet."</p><p>"Wow, really—"</p><p>"Hey!" Hinata shouted and Kageyama winced. What an idiot. Didn't he know he wasn't supposed to interrupt people like that? Especially their seniors, and especially they were just introducing themselves for the third time. "I'm here too guys!"</p><p>"Oh yeah. Shoyo, Hinata, was it? I'm surprised you two decided to join Karasuno."</p><p>More like it was his last option.</p><p>"Too bad shorty over here hasn't had a growth spurt yet. Then he could really get up there." The bald guy said, giving a shark grin.</p><p>Hinata huffed, irritated, "I know I'm short, but I can jump, okay. So I'm gonna fly high and become Karasuno's ace one day!"</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Don't roll them too far or they'll fall out of your head." Hinata growled and poked his arm.</p><p>"I'll not roll my eyes when you get your ego checked. It's too big for your body."</p><p>"You're talking to <em>me </em>about ego! Shut up!"</p><p>"You shut up!"</p><p>"Hey now, no fighting. It's only day one." The dark-haired one said, clapping his hands together to get their attention.</p><p>"Fine." Kageyama said and glared at Hinata. "Dumbass."</p><p>"Takes one to know one." Hinata smirked at him and nudged his side playfully. Kageyama crossed his arms and huffed.</p><p>"Whatever." He muttered.</p><p>They got to practicing in the gym, and after school he and Hinata decided to practice in the park even more. "Why do you keep just giving me receives!"</p><p>"Because you suck. They're sloppy, slow, and fly off your wrists into the middle of nowhere like you're still a junior high first year."</p><p>"Yamayama is mean." Hinata whined. "Just one good set and then I won't bother you anymore and I'll receive until you think I'm good enough just please one set!"</p><p>"No."</p><p>Kageyama wasn't going to give into what Hinata wanted even if they were friends. "Spikers who can't receive don't get to spike my sets."</p><p>"Asshole." Hinata muttered to himself.</p><p>Kageyama ignored him and spiked again.</p><p>It was starting to get dark though, and he figured he should head home soon before his parents began to worry about him. He'd texted them he was going to be with Hinata, but it had been a couple hours since then.</p><p>"I should probably get home." Kageyama told Hinata. He was pretty sure most teenagers would be against their parents not letting them stay out after dark, but Kageyama didn't really want to be out in the dark anyway. Especially not alone.</p><p>He'd gotten better with the dark itself, and it didn't scare him as much anymore. But now his mind wandered to things that could be in the dark. Not stupid monsters, because they didn't exist, but people who might want to hurt him wandered through his mind occasionally.</p><p>"Want me to walk you home?"</p><p>Kageyama frowned. Even though he actually would like some company, he didn't want Hinata out in the dark either. "No, I'll be okay."</p><p>"Kay, text me when you get home."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>They both grabbed their bags and headed in opposite directions towards their homes.</p><p>Once Kageyama had showered and dressed, he went downstairs to have dinner with his parents. The fighting had died down between them to almost nothing, and they barely spoke. Kageyama wasn't sure if that was good or bad.</p><p>"How was your first day?' His father asked.</p><p>"Good. My teammates seem nice." No one had talked about the king incident at his middle school, which he was sure must've been floating around, so they at least weren't terrible enough to throw it in his face.</p><p>"And your friend, Hinata, he's on the team, right?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"You two should have fun together." His mother said and Kageyama nodded. They probably would have fun.</p><p>"We will."</p><p>After that they fell into silence, though it wasn't entirely uncomfortable and after dinner Kageyama went upstairs to do his homework for the rest of the night.</p><p>When a few more days of practice had gone by, Daichi suggested a practice match between them and the other first years that were supposed to be joining the club soon.</p><p>Kageyama didn't see a problem with that, and Hinata was obviously buzzing with excitement at the prospect of a game. "Okay," Kageyama said.</p><p>So, they kept practicing in the gym, and then after he and Hinata practiced in the park until it was getting dark, after which they would part ways to go home.</p><p>One late evening, Hinata was practicing his receives and complaining about not being able to spike anything. "I already told you, you need to get better at receives first! If we can't even get the ball up in the air you'll never be able to spike anything!"</p><p>Hinata stomped his foot and huffed, crossing his arms. "You never let me do anything except receives!"</p><p>"Receives are important!"</p><p>"How important can they possibly be!"</p><p>"Important!"</p><p>Kageyama growled angrily to himself and tossed the ball to Hinata with a bit more force than necessary while saying, "Come on, we should probably clean up."</p><p>Hinata reached up to catch the ball but before he could it was snatched out of the air by someone else.</p><p>"Hey!" Hinata exclaimed.</p><p>Kageyama's mind instantly ran through all the possible ways he could be murdered, but his mind stopped when he recognized the uniforms of Karasuno.</p><p>There was a tall, blonde kid with glasses and a nasty smirk on his face, and the other boy had dark hair, freckles, and was around the same height as Kageyama from what he could tell.</p><p>"Well, hello, what's an elementary schooler like you doing out this late?" the blonde one asked.</p><p>Hinata scowled, "I'm in high school! Who are you, anyway, and what right do you have to ask me that!"</p><p>"You're the other first years from the volleyball club. Aren't you?" Kageyama took a guess, although it wasn't that hard to figure out. Two guys who saw them playing volleyball and decided to pay a visit. Even if they weren't on the Karasuno team, it was obvious they had some kind of connection to volleyball.</p><p>The taller of the two boys, smirked but didn't say anything."</p><p>"Oh yeah!" Hinata asked challengingly. "Well we're gonna win on Saturday!" He shouted, pointing at them.</p><p>"Didn't anyone teach you it's rude to point. And if winning the match is so important to you, maybe I'll just throw it." The boy said with a lazy shrug.</p><p>"What!" Hinata cried, outraged.</p><p>Kageyama narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw. "It really doesn't matter if you throw the match or not. We'll win either way."</p><p>"Oh? Is that so? You really haven't changed at all, have you? You're still the King of the Court, huh."</p><p>Kageyama clenched his fists. He wasn't like that anymore. He was confident in his own skills and that he could pull through no matter what, but that didn't mean he was the same as he was in middle school.</p><p>He couldn't treat his teammates the way he had in middle school, and as much as he was loathed to admit it, he did need them, which they had showed him when they abandoned him on the court.</p><p>"Never, ever call me that you bastard," Kageyama growled striding over and grabbing the blonde by the collar.</p><p>"Tsukki!" the other boy muttered worriedly, causing who Kageyama assumed to be Tsukki to glare at him.</p><p>In the end, Kageyama decided to let go because he didn't have time for a fight and had to get home, plus Hinata kept tugging on him annoyingly.</p><p>He still glared at Tsukki though while grabbing his stuff.</p><p>"Oh, leaving so soon, King?"</p><p>"Don't call him that!" Hinata growled and Tobio watched as he jumped up, over the other boy's head and snatched the ball right out of his hands.</p><p>"We will win on Saturday," Hinata said confidently, "and I will spike this volleyball right over your head."</p><p>"Don't take everything so seriously. Learn to have fun once in a while."</p><p>Hinata stared confusedly, probably wondering as Kageyama was about what that meant, but Tsukki did not elaborate and started walking in the other direction.</p><p>After he was gone, Hinata turned to Kageyama, his eyebrows furrowed. "I want to keep practicing!"</p><p>"No." Kageyama said. It was too late, and they both needed to get home. So, Kageyama started walking in the other direction again, ignoring Hinata's whining protests.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry guys if it's a little fast paced. I just remembered that I wanted to post two hours ago and hadn't even had the chapter quite completed or edited, but I wanted to get this out cus it's a New Year and these are new events yknow? So yeah. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, I always love comments and kudos!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The three on three happened Saturday as planned, and Kageyama wanted to be furious at all the insults Tsukishima threw his way during the game, and he was, but threading through the fire were doubts and thoughts that he deserved it.</p><p>There were only a few taunts, but Tsukishima made them hurt. It was hard to focus with his mind swimming in the past, and with Hinata's lack of spiking experience, it was hard to tune in with each other. Their only saving grace was honestly Tanaka.</p><p>Kageyama was up to serve next. He knew his jump serves were improving, although they were still nowhere near as good as Oikawa's.</p><p>The serve was powerful, but the ball was picked up by Daichi. Kageyama knew it really shouldn't come as a surprise since he was a third year, but the seeming ease with which he received unnerved Tobio as Yamaguchi slammed down a spike.</p><p>"What did you forget about me? I may not have talent, but I do have experience." Daichi said with a grin.</p><p>Kageyama gritted his teeth but didn't say anything. The statement probably wasn't supposed to get a rise out of Kageyama, but he was so on edge everything seemed like mocking at this point.</p><p>"Just like a King, not expecting anything from his lowly subjects." Tsukishima crooned, that snake-like smile still plastered on his face.</p><p>"Would you quit calling him that." Hinata growled.</p><p>"Oh really? Why should I? Do you even know why they call him King, shorty?"</p><p>"Yeah, I do! He doesn't need any reminders from <em>you </em>what happened, he was there."</p><p>"Oh I'm sure he was when his teammates abandoned him for being such a tyrant."</p><p>Kageyama drew his shoulders up but didn't have the chance to retaliate before Tanaka was yelling. "Really, Blondie, you should be focusing less on the past and more on your imminent defeat!" Tanaka cried.</p><p>"Oh ho, don't get cocky, Tanaka." Daichi said.</p><p>"Blondie," Tsukishima gritted out, annoyed.</p><p>"Oh, do you not like nicknames?" Hinata smirked and leaned against Tobio who stepped away.</p><p>Hinata flailed for a moment before righting himself and glaring. "Meany!" He shouted at Kageyama who glared back.</p><p>"Let's get to playing."</p><p>The set continued for a while, because while Daichi was a good receiver, neither Yamaguchi or Tsukishima were particularly talented in Kageyama's opinion. The only thing Tsukishima had going for him was his height and little bit of brains he had in his head, and Yamaguchi wasn't particularly noteworthy of anything.</p><p>Their attack power was laughable.</p><p>If he was being honest neither team was working to their full potential, and it annoyed Kageyama to no end. He could see everything, could see exactly how they could win each point if only the spikers would hit his perfectly timed sets.</p><p>They did try at least, but Hinata was sloppy and botched several perfectly good sets. "Spike, harder." Kageyama said bluntly.</p><p>"Uh… okay?"</p><p>Still nothing was working. They couldn't get a solid lead.</p><p>Frustration started to build. Kageyama was always completely invested into each game no matter how weak or strong the opponent. But not only did he want to win for the sake of being able to play, he wanted to win to show Tsukishima that he was better off being Kageyama's ally than enemy.</p><p>Maybe he also wanted a little respect. The overwhelming aura of false superiority that seeped from every pore in Tsukishima's body reminded him too much of Oikawa.</p><p>"We're going to try quicks." Kageyama said to Hinata, who nodded as if he understood perfectly.</p><p>"Are you sure about that?" Tanaka asked skeptically. "Hinata isn't too good with technique. And he's never done a quick before."</p><p>"He'll be fine." Kageyama said and Tanaka didn't object anymore though he still looked doubtful.</p><p>Tobio understood his hesitance. Hinata hadn't done a quick before, and adding something like this could turn the game around for better or worse.</p><p>Either way, Kageyama felt like something had to change, and he wasn't really sure what else to try.</p><p>Tobio pointed to the left so Hinata could know which way they were going since they didn't have any signals yet and Hinata nodded.</p><p>But despite Hinata's athletic ability and pure talent for spiking, he still kept messing up.</p><p>"Looks like it isn't working." Tsukishima mocked, with a sly grin and a taste for despair.</p><p>"Nothing does on the first try! Or couple tries!" Kageyama stuttered out a defense.</p><p>"Uh huh, that's what losers say~" Tsukishima taunted further after he'd blocked Hinata.</p><p>"Oh, shut up! We're gonna kick your ass Saltyshima!"</p><p>Before Tsukishima had time to remark on the second nickname, Daichi served.</p><p>They tried the quick a few more times but it didn't work the way Kageyama wanted it to even if it made it through the wall.</p><p>"Hinata, what's wrong with you! This is easy, why can't you get it!' Kageyama kept getting increasingly annoyed and now decided to let his displeasure be known. He didn't have the best way of articulating his thoughts though. Kageyama saw the things that needed to be fixed he just wasn't sure how to communicate that to Hinata.</p><p>Hinata got an annoyed expression on his face, but before he could say anything Tsukishima chimed in.</p><p>"Acting just like a King I see."</p><p>Kageyama whirled around to yell at him, "You—"</p><p>"Kageyama-kun," Sugawara interrupted, "this isn't working." He took a deep breath, "First of all, there's no need to yell at Hinata-kun or Tsukishima-kun. Hinata-kun doesn't have any technique but he has speed and agility."</p><p>Kageyama still wanted to berate Hinata but he listened to what Sugawara was saying too. "As the setter, you should use his strengths to your advantage. Bring out the best in your spikers. You're talented, Kageyama-kun. You have good game sense, your sets are extremely accurate, you're a very good player. Watching you in one of your Junior High matches made me feel intimidated actually, if I'm being honest."</p><p>Kageyama was starting to think he intimidated almost everyone he met and he wasn't sure how to feel about that.</p><p>What Sugawara said seemed to make sense in Kageyama's opinion. Hinata wasn't the best volleyball player, he had a lot to learn. Kageyama had more technique and he possessed the skills Hinata lacked. It was his job to get a spike to Hinata that he'd be able to hit and it was his job to get it there in the best way possible to score a point, but regardless it should be a set the other spiker could hit.</p><p>He'd learned that in his last middle school game.</p><p>"Um… okay, fine. I'll use Hinata's abilities then, I guess." Kageyama turned to Hinata. "Alright, I'm going to send you a toss and all you have to do is run as fast as you can, and jump as high as you can and I will bring the ball to you. You don't even have to look at it." Kageyama would get that ball to him, and he would make use of Hinata's two best weapons. His speed and agility.</p><p>Hinata nodded determinedly, not seeming to understand what was about to happen, but understanding what he needed to do.</p><p>After that the game resumed.</p><p>Just as Kageyama told him, Hinata ran as fast as he could and jumped as high, and Kageyama delivered the promised toss straight into the palm of his hand.</p><p>Before anyone could move, the ball slammed down inside the court.</p><p>Nobody reacted for a split second after until Hinata started exclaiming excitedly that the ball hit his hand. "Yamayama, I did it, I hit the ball!"</p><p>"Yeah, I know, you couldn't have missed it."</p><p>"Um well, guys… Hinata's eyes were closed just now." Daichi said.</p><p>Or maybe he could've missed.</p><p>Kageyama's mouth went dry. Was Daichi serious? Hinata's eyes were closed? "Why… why did you close your eyes? Are you serious?" Kageyama cried turning to Hinata.</p><p>"Uh, because you told me to? And I don't think I'm a serious person, but right now I'm pretty serious."</p><p>"I didn't mean for you to actually close your eyes, idiot!"</p><p>"Well what was I suppose to think." Hinata pouted and crossed his arms. "Besides, I hit the ball didn't I!"</p><p>"I guess so." Kageyama muttered while still not really believing what had just happened.</p><p>Hinata closing his eyes was very strange, however, Kageyama had to admit that that play was extremely effective. No one could even react before the ball was slamming onto the floor. "Let's try that again." Kageyama said.</p><p>"Okay! You got it Yamayama, I will always hit whatever ball comes my way, you can count on me!"</p><p>"Thanks," Kageyama mumbled absent mindedly thinking about how good that attack could become if they were actually able to succeed with it every time.</p><p>In the second set, the next few plays failed and Kageyama began to get frustrated with himself. What was wrong with him? He'd done it perfectly a moment ago, why weren't his sets lining up with Hinata's hands anymore?</p><p>"Don't worry, we'll get the next one!"</p><p>Kageyama couldn't even find it in himself to be annoyed with the ginger's never-ending enthusiasm.</p><p>Daichi served and Tanaka received the ball, sending it high into the air over Kageyama's head. What should he do with it? They'd failed the last few attempts. Maybe he should set to Tanaka to raise the team's moral. He figured they needed a good point at the moment, and with Tanaka's solid spikes he was much more likely to get that than Hinata.</p><p>Besides, it looked like Hinata was going to be blocked by Yamaguchi and Tsukishima.</p><p>As the ball was nearing Kageyama's hands Hinata changed directions in a split second and sprinted to the other side of the court. Even Tsukishima, for all his height was still one second behind.</p><p>And in volleyball that one second was everything.</p><p>"Give it to me, Tobio!"</p><p>Tobio?</p><p>Against Kageyama's better judgement, he sent the ball flying over to Hinata, who slammed his hand on the ball and imbedded it into the gym floor.</p><p>"Yes! We did it again!" Hinata cried triumphantly, staring at his hands with awe.</p><p>Kageyama vaguely wondered if he ever stared at his hands with odd expressions.</p><hr/><p>After that play, Kageyama and Hinata sank together a lot more often, although the play still needed a lot of work of course. Kageyama was getting used to it, and so was Hinata.</p><p>They won the match and Kageyama really wanted to rub it in stupid Tsukishima's face even as Hinata tried to be a good sport and shake hands.</p><p>"I told you we would win." Kageyama said, trying not to sound too pleased.</p><p>"Yeah, well you're a cocky bastard." Tsukishima said and brought his water bottle to his mouth.</p><p>"We didn't even need you to throw the game."</p><p>"Who's to say I didn't."</p><p>Kageyama had played volleyball long enough to know when someone wasn't trying their best. And while Tsukishima didn't play to his full potential, he definitely didn't throw the match either. "Me."</p><p>Tsukishima glared at him before turning to Hinata, "Stop trying to shake my hand! I don't want your germs!"</p><p>"You're just a sore loser, Tsukki." Hinata whined.</p><p>"Don't call me that."</p><p>Kageyama sighed and turned away when Tsukishima didn't rise to his bait. No one was really paying attention to him anyways.</p><p>"Just shake my hand!"</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"You're already touching me, so why can't you shake my hand."</p><p>"Cus you want it and I don't want to get what you want."</p><p>"So it's really just spite!"</p><p>Hinata and Tsukishima's voices carried even to the other side of the gym, Hinata's more so than anything else but Kageyama tried to block it out.</p><p>"Hey, Kageyama-kun."</p><p>Tobio turned his head to see Sugawara peering up at him. "Good game today, you played really well."</p><p>"Oh, um, thanks." Kageyama said trying not to feel too happy. He rarely got praised for his abilities. In fact, he couldn't really remember the last time someone had genuinely complimented him on his volleyball playing.</p><p>It had probably been Hinata begging for one of his sets.</p><p>"Just so you know, if you ever need any advice, you can talk to me, even if I might not be able to help much." Sugawara said giving him a smile.</p><p>Sugawara didn't specify what kind of advice but he nodded anyway, "Thank you Sugawara-san."</p><p>"Call me Suga, everyone does."</p><p>"Oh, okay."</p><p>If Tobio was being honest, he didn't have much experience talking to upper classmen. The only ones he'd ever talked to were Oikawa and Iwaizumi and would he even have talked to them that much if they weren't his soulmates? He probably wouldn't have. He didn't even hardly know any of his other upperclassmen in middle school.</p><p>It was hard for Kageyama to talk to people at the best of times but when it came to most upperclassmen it felt nearly impossible to say anything. Should he even say anything? He could just continue to clean up, but maybe that would be awkward. Kageyama could recognize he might've made a less than great first impression and this was really the second time he was talking to Suga so he had to make his second impression better, right?</p><p>In the end Kageyama just turned around and kept cleaning up the gym because that was the least awkward thing he could've done in that situation, right?</p><p>He tried not to overthink it.</p><p>Suga was a little scary, honestly, not necessarily because of anything he'd done, but the fact that he was an upperclassmen and a setter was scary enough. He knew what it was like to threaten someone's position on a team and he didn't want to have to deal with another relationship turned sour because of his apparent genius.</p><p>It would be better to just let Suga keep starting setter. He was a third year after all so he would be gone in a year, Kageyama could keep his sanity, and he could play starting setter next year.</p><p>That plan wasn't bad, considering.</p><p>He was disappointed he wouldn't get to play starter, but it was better than Sugawara disliking him.</p><p>That's what Kageyama told himself anyway.</p><p>Kageyama was pulled abruptly out of his thoughts by a loud voice echoing through the gym. "Hey, so, before everyone hurries off, we have something to take care of first." Daichi gestured to Kiyoko, who was carrying in some boxes and opening them up. "The Karasuno Volleyball Club jackets are here!"</p><p>"Ack, jackets! I've never had a jacket before, Yamayama!" Hinata shouted, running up to him.</p><p>Kageyama sighed. Sometimes he forgot Hinata had never been on a real team before.</p><p>They all put on their jackets except Tsukishima, who had to be pressured into doing so, which Kageyama didn't really understand. They were just jackets, it wasn't a big deal. Then again, he supposed Sugawara and Tanaka made it a big deal by chanting at him to put it on in the first place.</p><p>After cleaning up, everyone packed up their bags and went to get changed out of their clothes.</p><p>Needless to say Kageyama opted out of that and left early, for once declining Hinata's asking to practice in the park.</p><p>He was tired, and as much as Kageyama despised it, even he needed rest.</p><hr/><p>The next day, Hinata was pouting at him after practice, though the reason was unknown.</p><p>Hinata wasn't saying anything, just giving him unsubtle glances and pouting more when Kageyama looked his way.</p><p>"Do you need something?" Kageyama asked irritably.</p><p>"How come you never hang out with us in the club room." Hinata burst out and then whined, "Even mean Tsukishima goes to the club room."</p><p>"What's there to do in there anyway?" Kageyama countered. "It's just a room with some lockers and posters and stuff. I've been in it." The last sentence Kageyama used to defend himself.</p><p>"Ugh well when you say it like that it sounds not as cool!" Hinata huffed.</p><p>Kageyama was saved from having to reply to that by the gym door bursting open and a short man rushing into the room, falling flat on his face in the process.</p><p>Kageyama raised an eyebrow. Wasn't that one of their teachers?</p><p>"Ah, sorry for the interruption!" the teacher said, adjusting his glasses.</p><p>"We were just cleaning up." Daichi said, indicating there was no interruption.</p><p>"Oh, okay then. Well, I've got big news you guys. I managed to get a game against Aoba Johsai!"</p><p>"Really? How did you manage to get a top four team to agree?"</p><p>"Well, they had one condition for me. They said that Kageyama will have to play setter for the entire match."</p><p>Everyone fell silent for a moment before Tanaka spoke up, "Hang on! Do they really want to place, or do they just want to see what Kageyama can do! They're underestimating us!"</p><p>"They know full well my abilities. Most of us played together, after all."</p><p>What Kageyama was really feeling was a well of anger burn up inside him. The request had Oikawa's name written all over it, but the troubling part was that Kageyama had no idea why he would do that. Did he want to play against him and lord over his superior skills or did he just want to screw up the chance he had with his new team? Kageyama glanced at Suga.</p><p>Either way, the request was not good for his place on the team.</p><p>"I think this could be a good idea."</p><p>Kageyama flinched.</p><p>"Suga!" Tanaka protested.</p><p>"It can give the new members of the team a chance to work more in sync with one another and we can see how our duo's quick will work against one of the top four schools."</p><p>"That is true," Daichi said. "And it sounds like it will be a fun practice match too."</p><p>"Then it's settle." The teacher said. "The game will take place later this week, don't forget!"</p><p>As if Kageyama could.</p><p>For a treat, Daichi bought them all meat buns on the way home and it wasn't as if Kageyama could say no since it was on his way home anyway.</p><p>He and Suga ended up walking together for whatever reason, while Hinata and Tanaka talked loudly in the background.</p><p>"Um, Sugawara-san—"</p><p>"Suga."</p><p>"Suga-san…" Kageyama started again, not really sure why he opened his mouth in the first place but unable to stop now. "I know that being setter for this game was sort of handed to me," as much as he hated that, "but I promise that after this, from now on, I will earn my place on the team!"</p><p>He tried to look anywhere but at Suga however the silence went on too long and eventually he had to look.</p><p>Suga looked somewhat amused, "Honestly I didn't expect that from you."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Well I mean, it's obvious that you're a superior setter in pretty much every way. You have skill, athletic ability, and talent."</p><p>"I don't have experience though," Kageyama could admit that. The next point stung a little, "and I don't know how to connect with the team."</p><p>Kageyama had a hard time doing anything social. That was probably why even after so long of his parents letting him actually do things, he still only had two people he would truly consider friends. And one of them he'd blocked.</p><p>"You'll be able to connect eventually. I mean, maybe you aren't a natural but you're a pretty likeable person."</p><p>"I don't think so."</p><p>Kageyama wasn't friends with Hinata and Iwaizumi because <em>he </em>was likeable, they were friends because they liked him despite his unlikeable personality.</p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>Maybe because his entire middle school grew to hate him when he hadn't even talked to anyone outside the volleyball team.</p><p>How unlikeable were you when people you'd never even met hated you?</p><p>"I'm blunt, I get angry, and…" <em>not even my soulmates like me, </em>"I'm awkward." That was true too.</p><p>"Well… I suppose all that might technically be true," Suga paused, "but you know, if you wanted, there's things you can do to control your negative emotions better. And if you follow up your opinion with tips, blunt isn't necessarily a bad thing."</p><p>Kageyama fell silent for a while, "What about awkward."</p><p>"That's a little harder but try to be confident in who you are. I know that's hard and it might take a while. A lot of people don't even know who they are so it's hard to be confident when you don't know yourself very well. It'll come eventually though. Some people even find a little awkwardness to be endearing." Suga patted him on the back.</p><p>"I guess so." Kageyama was pretty sure there was nothing he could really do besides agree anyway, even if he had his doubts about all of that.</p><p>Soon, they arrived at a tiny shop where the meat buns were purchased and handed out. Kageyama knew he had to save his appetite for dinner, but he had one anyway to show his gratitude.</p><p>"So, I know some might be a little nervous about the upcoming practice match," Daichi started and Kageyama wasn't one to get worried or nervous about volleyball of all things but this time even he had to admit he was shaken up, "but don't stress. Just think of it as demonstrating your skills in a real game, like Suga said. We might not win, but either way we'll improve, and that's what matters right now. First, we learn how to work as a team. Second, we work to win as one, alright?"</p><p>"Yeah! We got this!" Hinata cried, pumping his fists in the air.</p><p>"Don't get too enthusiastic. This is Sei Joh. If we want to even have a shot at winning we have to take each play seriously."</p><p>"No offense, Yamayama, but you seemed like you were a better player than all the other guys on your old team. So how come you're so worried?"</p><p>"Are you an idiot? You know why!"</p><p>"Geez, calm down. Sure I get why you might be nervous, but about winning? Doesn't seem like you."</p><p>"Shut up." Kageyama said. "I'm not worried, I'm just not underestimating them like you."</p><p>"I'm just being positive! Lighten up a little, Tobio."</p><p>"I am lightened up." Kageyama grumbled and checked his phone to see a text from his mother. "I have to go now." He told Daichi.</p><p>"Okay, we'll see you tomorrow, Kageyama. "</p><p>Kageyama waved and started walking in the opposite direction.</p><p>It was a little way's to his house and on the walk there he thought about what Oikawa could possibly have to gain from requesting such an arrangement. As he thought about it more and more he was convinced it was to derail him from becoming a proper member of his new team.</p><p>He wouldn't be surprised if it was done out of spite simply for blocking him because Oikawa always had to have the last word.</p><p>Well, Kageyama wasn't going to allow that this time. Tobio was angry with Oikawa's interference and even if it was a good thing that they had a game with Sei Joh, it wasn't fair to only agree to it if he was setter for the entire game. Suga was Karasuno's official setter, and it wasn't fair for him to come in and in one moment just take that away.</p><p>He knew that maybe Suga didn't hate him now but resentment could grow, and Kageyama didn't want that.</p><p>So in that moment, Kageyama decided to whip out his phone and unblock Oikawa.</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: Fuck you.</strong>
</p><p>That was really all Kageyama had to say about what he felt about the position he felt Oikawa had forced him into and was about to put his phone away except he got an immediate reply.</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: No thanks ;)</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: But srsly</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: We need 2 talk.</strong>
</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes and put his phone in his bag, ignoring all the other buzzes that came after that. As far as Kageyama was concerned, they didn't have anything to talk about. Kageyama wasn't ready.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lol um... sorry this took longer than usual this chapter wasn't cooperative and also I've been really busy lately. I also kept thinking about what was going to happen next chapter like no! Stop it XD And I rlly, rlly, rlly want to introduce Iwaizumi's dad! We know Kageyama's parents, Oikawa's, Hinata's, like wtf happened to Iwaizumi's family development smh. I also rlly like his dad which is why I'm excited! One more thing, I may or may not have messed up the ages in this cus Kageyama is supposed to turn 16 not 15 this year but we're gonna ignore that lol (I messed up everyone's age in doing this but whatever)</p><p>Also... did Kageyama tell his mom about confessing to his soulmates? I feel like at one point that was supposed to happen but I may or may not have actually done it...</p><p>Either way, hope you liked the chapter, Iwa and Oikawa should be back next chapter, thanks so much for reading, always appreciate comments and kudos!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama ignored all of Oikawa's attempts to talk because Kageyama was finally starting to feel like himself again, and if he talked to Oikawa, he felt like something bad would happen, even if he didn't have a real reason to think that.</p><p>Now he had a few more days to mull it over, he realized that Oikawa's grand scheme was forcing them into a position where they had to interact. Ruining his chances with his team was just a bonus.</p><p>Either way, for all that he ignored Oikawa, the day of the practice match crept closer every hour and soon he would have no choice but to see his soulmates again.</p><p>He wondered what Iwaizumi would say.</p><p>Kageyama hadn't unblocked him yet.</p><p>He'd feel a whole lot worse ignoring Iwaizumi's texts since Iwaizumi had always been nice to him and he kept remembering that one time when Iwaizumi actually showed up at his school he got so worried.</p><p>"Hinata, I don't know what I'm going to do." Kageyama said at lunch that next day. On the court, Hinata was his rival, and they were both striving to be the greatest. Outside of that though, Hinata was still his best friend and Kageyama always went to him first for advice.</p><p>"About what?" He asked, his mouth full of rice.</p><p>"The practice match. I think Oikawa-san wants to corner me into talking." Kageyama gave Hinata his phone filled with messages asking to meet up and before all those only a few texts sent over the course of three years.</p><p>"Wow, he really wants to talk to you." Hinata said, taking another bite.</p><p>"I know! I don't want to talk to him though."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"The last time we talked didn't end well. I'm…"</p><p>"You're scared to hear an answer." Hinata finished for him. "Like you were scared to confess."</p><p>"Yes," Kageyama murmured, remembering how Hinata had called him a coward for not confessing. He couldn't help feeling afraid though, simply thinking of all the things Oikawa could possibly say to him in response to his confession.</p><p>If that was even what Oikawa really wanted to talk about. Maybe Oikawa just wanted to tell him to stay away from him and Iwaizumi because they didn't need him.</p><p>He probably wanted to see the look on Kageyama's face or something.</p><p>"Well, no matter what happens, I'm here for you. The whole team will be. Don't worry Yamayama." Hinata gave him a thumbs up.</p><p>"Thanks." Kageyama said though the statement did little to calm his nerves.</p><p>The day of the practice match arrived far too soon, and everyone had to board the bus to Seijoh.</p><p>"Yamayama, I'm sitting with Tanaka-san and the other second years, you can come too if you want, but if not I can sit with you on the way back." Hinata whispered and then ran ahead on to the bus.</p><p>He wasn't sure whether or not this was a ploy to make Kageyama interact with other people but either way he did not appreciate it.</p><p>Everyone already seemed to have made their own little groups, and Kageyama felt awkward intruding on anybody. Suga and Daichi, the two third years sat together. Hinata along with the rest of the second years were piled on the back of the bus. And Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were sitting together, not that Kageyama would want to sit with either of them anyway.</p><p>If he really wanted to, he was pretty sure Daichi and Suga wouldn't mind if he sat on the other side of the aisle next to them, and the second years and Hinata wouldn't mind if he sat with them. Hinata even said he could.</p><p>But he didn't feel comfortable doing that. And despite himself Suga and Daichi intimidated him.</p><p>That only left one person he could sit with or sit entirely alone.</p><p>"Um, can I sit here?" He asked Kiyoko, feeling really awkward, but she didn't make him feel nervous like the other two third years, and she seemed nice. Kiyoko nodded in response but didn't say anything, which Kageyama was relieved about.</p><p>All he wanted was to appear like he belonged somewhere.</p><p>It didn't take too long for the bus to stop at its intended destination. Hinata had thrown up on Tanaka on the way over and was rushing to the bathroom while everyone else got off the bus. Suddenly, Kageyama was glad he hadn't been sitting next to Hinata on the way over.</p><p>Everyone congregated into more groups while walking and Kageyama somehow wiggled his way into walking with Tanaka, Tsukishima, and Yamaguchi.</p><p>Kageyama wasn't really listening to anything anyone was saying or paying attention to where they were going, but he gathered the fact Tsukishima and Tanaka were trying to intimidate some of the players from Seijoh. Tobio was too interested in hiding from his soulmates to pay much attention.</p><p>"Hey, King," one of the boys called out while Daichi was trying to drag Tanaka away. For once Kageyama wished it was Tsukishima's voice because if it was he could get bothered.</p><p>As it was, Kageyama tried to push down the upset and embarrassed feelings deep into his stomach and lifted his gaze to meet Kindaichi's head on.</p><p>He was able to pull it off because of the many times he had to look at Oikawa while not wanting to.</p><p>"I'm interested to see what kind of dictatorship you're running now."</p><p>Kageyama wanted to take his volleyball bag and smash it into Kindaichi's face but he held back and nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Tanaka looked angry but Daichi held him back still and Kageyama forced his stiff legs to casually walk away.</p><p>It was even worse than he thought, seeing a member of his old team.</p><p>If he had that extreme reaction from seeing Kindaichi, what were Oikawa and Iwaizumi going to do to him?</p><p>The team arrived at the gym where Seijoh was already practicing. Kageyama nervously surveyed the court and his eyes zeroed in on Iwaizumi who was in the middle of spiking a volleyball.</p><p>Kageyama hoped everyone on the team would all be too busy warming up to have any talk that could psyche Kageyama out before the game.</p><p>Actually, if he was being honest, Kageyama was already psyched out so he didn't need anything else to work him up.</p><p>It was just his luck that in that moment Iwaizumi's gaze locked with Kageyama's and he gave a small smile that Kageyama had no idea how to interpret. He was still as handsome as Kageyama remembered him though.</p><p>Then Iwaizumi's gaze shifted downward to Hinata and a harsh glare came over his face. Hinata pretended he didn't notice but grinded his teeth together nervously.</p><p>Kageyama noticed the exchange and gave Hinata a glare of his own. "What the fuck did you do." He hissed.</p><p>"Well… uh," Hinata fumbled with his fingers looking sheepish, "I didn't want to block him because I'd feel bad, but considering how tense things were between you guys I didn't want to talk to him either, so I've been leaving him on read."</p><p>"Right, because that's just <em>so </em>much more considerate." Kageyama sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.</p><p>Hinata pouted, "I was nervous too! You guys put me in a very precarious position." He sniffed and walked off to Tanaka before running out of the gym again.</p><p>Kageyama tried to ignore Iwaizumi's blatant staring and just warm up but it was near impossible. Iwaizumi usually didn't stare at him, and the longer he did so the more self-conscious Kageyama became.</p><p>His thoughts and focus were interrupted when Hinata came in just in time to start.</p><p>Kageyama didn't like the way he was sending side glances at him.</p><hr/><p>Apparently Hinata was more nervous than he had thought because he kept messing up and making the whole team look like they were jokes. To say Kageyama was livid was an understatement but he also didn't like the way Kindaichi whispered how Kageyama would drop Hinata if he kept messing up spikes.</p><p>Hinata for his part looked extremely worried and a little annoyed.</p><p>"Hey, Hinata," Kageyama called out.</p><p>"Here it comes," Kindaichi whispered.</p><p>"My bad." Kageyama said, almost smirking at the shocked looks on Kindaichi and Kunimi's faces.</p><p>"Oh, don't worry, I forgive you!" Hinata said and Kageyama's fingers twitched with the urge to rip something apart because he was most certainly <em>not </em>asking for forgiveness!</p><p>"Whatever."</p><p>After Hinata's botched serve into the back of Kageyama's head and a pep talk from Tanaka, Hinata seemed to feel a lot better and Kageyama felt like maybe they could try their quick.</p><p>Hinata missed the first time during the second set, but that was also more Kageyama's fault. He hadn't adjusted properly so the set was off. "We'll get it next time." Hinata said confidently.</p><p>Kageyama sighed and risked another glance at Kunimi and Kindaichi who were staring at him critically. Kageyama couldn't help it and glared back at them.</p><p>They had no right to try and poison his new team against him and say all those negative things to Hinata and stare at him like he was a horrible person for not fixing all of his problems in a matter of three months.</p><p>Kageyama was trying to be a better person but it wasn't as if that had taken the place of volleyball which had been his number one priority since middle school.</p><p>Thankfully, the second quick succeeded and as the team had predicted, Seijoh seemed shocked by the display. Kageyama glanced at Iwaizumi who was staring at the ball with an awed, shocked expression on his face.</p><p>And when Iwaizumi looked back Kageyama looked away and hurried off to his teammates when Seijoh called a time out.</p><p>One thing Kageyama found odd, was that Oikawa wasn't anywhere that he could see. Oikawa had set all of this up in order to force Kageyama to talk so where the hell was he?</p><p>Kageyama was yanked from his thoughts when he heard Hinata address him. "Hey, uh, Yamayama, do you hear that?"</p><p>"Hear wha—" Kageyama was interrupted by the high pitched shrieking of several girls up in the stands. Tobio winced at the screeching and turned toward the Aoba Johsai team.</p><p>Unfortunately, he saw Oikawa talking to the Aoba Johsai coach and the sight had him wondering why he was ever upset that Oikawa hadn't made an appearance.</p><p>Oikawa turned towards him too and gave his signature, infuriating smile. "Yoohoo, Tobio-chan!" Oikawa waved, falsely cheerful.</p><p>Kageyama grimaced and ignored him, turning back to his team. "That's Seijoh's official setter, Oikawa-san. His playing style as a setter is aggressive, and his serve is even better than mine but he's also got an attitude that puts Tsukishima to shame."</p><p>Tsuskishima glared and huffed at the insult.</p><p>"He doesn't scare me!" Hinata cried.</p><p>"Yeah, he just annoys the fuck out of me." Tanaka growled, already seeming to have a dislike for Oikawa.</p><p>It was easy for them to say Oikawa didn't scare them, their skills weren't directly pitted against his. Like Kageyama wasn't scared of Iwaizumi's playing because he wasn't a spiker even though he knew Iwaizumi was a great player.</p><p>Oikawa's playing terrified him, and not just that but the way he got under Kageyama's skin with a horrifying level of accuracy just set him on edge. He could never quite relieve the tension he felt whenever Oikawa was on the other side of that net.</p><p>Which was the way it had always been, even in practice matches. Kageyama had never set foot on the same side of the court as Oikawa and while that was just the reality of the situation, it also felt like a metaphor for their relationship.</p><p>Would he ever be good enough to play on the same side as Oikawa?</p><p>Would he ever even be allowed?</p><p>And what would he choose if he was?</p><p>The game resumed and by the time Oikawa had set foot on his side of the court he'd already figured out that Hinata and Tsukishima were weak receivers and started serving powerful jump serves right towards Tsukishima.</p><p>They lost three points that way and almost lost the whole game but Tsukishima managed to get the ball up in the air.</p><p>Oikawa's face when Hinata landed a quick attack right passed his face was enough to make all the torment that would follow the match today worth it.</p><p>In fact, for a moment, Kageyama felt like he might even get away without having to talk or say anything to Oikawa.</p><p>Kageyama packed up his bag before making his way towards the bathroom to wash up a little before boarding the bus.</p><p>When he opened the bathroom door, Kindaichi was already inside washing his hands. The two of them just stared at each other for a while before Kageyama started to get uncomfortable. "So, um…"</p><p>"Don't apologize."</p><p>He hadn't been going to. Kageyama could recognize his own faults but the wounds Kindaichi had opened were far too fresh for him to even think of apologizing and meaning it.</p><p>"You're still a king, an oppressive, selfish king! But it doesn't matter anyway since we were never friends in the first place."</p><p>"No we weren't," Kageyama agreed, almost bitterly because how could Kindaichi have ever been his friend when they hardly spoke to each other.</p><p>"We won't lose next time."</p><p>"Karasuno will be the one to win." Kageyama disagreed bluntly, hearing Hinata's voice and footsteps skipping down the hall. "You can count on it." Kageyama said noticing that now Hinata hiding behind the wall entrance of the bathroom.</p><p>Kindaichi stared at him for a couple minutes later before turning around to dry his hands. Kageyama gave up on washing and just turned as well.</p><p>"You okay?" Hinata asked once Kageyama exited the bathroom. Kageyama nodded but didn't say anything, just tried to hurry out of the building and on to the bus before he ran into Oikawa.</p><p>The rest of the team was waiting at the door for them and once he and Hinata arrived they all moved out towards where the bus was.</p><p>"Our offense is doing pretty good so far, but we really need to work on our defense. If we played Seijoh in an official match then we would probably not be prepared to win." Daichi explained as they walked. He made good points, all of which Kageyama agreed with. Tsukishima and Hinata especially had to work on receives if they were going to be starting players.</p><p>"Why yes, I would think so too." An unwelcomed voice chimed in, making Kageyama cringe as he'd thought he'd escaped Oikawa this time. Apparently the older boy had just been waiting for the perfect time to strike. "I do hope you work on those receives of yours as I'm going to be perfecting my serve not to mention there are other serves similar to mine on my team. So work on your defenses, and don't lose at Inter-High. I want to beat my dear Tobio-chan in an official match setter to setter."</p><p>Kageyama gritted his teeth because he most definitely wasn't "Oikawa's dear" that was for sure.</p><p>"Now then, I'll also have to be stealing Tobio-chan for a minute if you don't mind. We need to talk about something."</p><p>Dread curled in Kageyama's stomach.</p><p>Tanaka held back a growl, "What do you want with one of our setters, huh? What's so important?"</p><p>If Kageyama really wanted to, he could allow Tanaka to stick up for him and leave without ever having to talk to Oikawa or Iwaizumi.</p><p>That thought was very appealing, since he wasn't ready for the conversation but at the same time he didn't think he'd ever be ready, so he might as well get it over with.</p><p>"It's fine, I'll go." Kageyama said and watched Daichi pull Tanaka back towards the bus.</p><p>"You guys get five minutes." Hinata proclaimed. "Because after that I'm coming to get you!"</p><p>"Alright, Sho-chan, I get it, I get it."</p><p>Despite Oikawa's acknowledgement, Hinata kept glaring as Oikawa grabbed Tobio's hand and led him around to the back of the building.</p><p>Iwaizumi was waiting there for the both of them.</p><p>Kageyama started to feel the building pressure.</p><p>"So, um, Oikawa-san, what happened to your knee?" Kageyama asked hoping to steer clear from whatever Oikawa and Iwaizumi wanted to talk about.</p><p>"I see what you're doing, Tobio-chan, trying to deflect the conversation, but to answer the question, I over practiced."</p><p>Oikawa scratched his chin nervously.</p><p>"Oh, okay. That's terrible, I hope you feel better. So yeah, okay, if that's all you wanted to talk about, I should really—"</p><p>"Actually," Iwaizumi interrupted, narrowing his eyes, "I felt it was time to talk about what happened last year. You know, when we all figured out we were soulmates. So Tooru pulled some strings with the coach."</p><p>"So this was your idea." Tobio already felt his own eyes narrowing and the defenses start to go up.</p><p>"Not exactly. I just wanted to wait for you after school, but Tooru wanted to play a game against you, so he arranged this." Iwaizumi explained further. "But anyway, it's time we talk about it, we can't just go on ignoring something like this."</p><p>Tobio huffed, "There's nothing to talk about."</p><p>Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"I already know what you're going to say."</p><p>"And what would that be, Tobio-chan?"</p><p>Kageyama didn't like the mocking tone Oikawa had in his voice but he kept going anyway. "You're going to tell me that you don't need me because you two are already perfect for each other, and you don't need a third complicating the relationship."</p><p>At this point, Kageyama was prepared for rejection from mostly anybody because he'd come to realize most people were unreliable, and selfish, and they liked to play pretend to 'spare his feelings'. Well Kageyama didn't need any of that. He didn't want things to be broken down gently, because no matter how it was said rejection always meant the same thing.</p><p>So Kageyama was okay with it. Over the last three months, he'd mostly come to accept that Iwaizumi and Oikawa didn't want him, even if he was still nervous speaking to them.</p><p>It would hurt, but he'd be okay.</p><p>The books he'd read all his life said that there was no greater bond than the bond shared between soulmates. But maybe that was a good thing. He would never have to feel like this again, if he just got it over with now.</p><p>"What? No, that wasn't what I was going to say at all."</p><p>What?</p><p>Kageyama was startled by that answer.</p><p>"I was going to say that Tooru and I talked it over. We want to try with you. If you're okay with that, that is."</p><p>"You want to try with me?" What did they want to try exactly?</p><p>"Yeah, we want to try being soulmates with you." Iwaizumi said.</p><p>"Mhm, but we're just trying, okay, this isn't like a guaranteed thing." Oikawa piped up awkwardly, causing Iwaizumi to glare at him.</p><p>"So like, do you want to like… date me?" Kageyama asked. He felt like that was where this was going and that was what they meant by 'trying to be soulmates', but Kageyama wanted to make sure.</p><p>"Yeah, if that's okay, we would like to."</p><p>Oikawa nodded in agreement, fiddling with his fingers nervously. It was almost amusing, if Kageyama was being honest. Out of all the situations he'd ever pictured, he'd never considered that one day Oikawa and Iwaizumi would be nervous for <em>his </em>answer.</p><p>"But…" Kageyama trailed off, a million things running through his head. Why would they want him? What would dating mean? "Why… I mean," Kageyama paused again.</p><p>"Yes?" Iwaizumi asked.</p><p>"If we weren't, you know, soulmates, would you ever consider a relationship with me? Would we even be talking right now?"</p><p>"Probably not." Oikawa said bluntly. "But just because a predetermined force initially pushes people together doesn't mean everything that follows isn't real."</p><p>Kageyama bit his lip. He'd never thought about it that way. It made sense, he supposed, and it made him feel a little better about accepting what was happening right now, even if he was still scared about what might follow.</p><p>"I need some time to think." Kageyama said eventually. Pressure started weighing on his shoulders from the looks they were giving him. He was scared, confused, and there were a lot of other things he wanted to talk about. They'd also have to meet his parents, which he wasn't too sure about.</p><p>But if they figured out they needed to meet his parents then they would probably want to introduce him as their third to their parents, and Kageyama definitely wasn't ready for that. He was already too nervous as it was.</p><p>"Of course, we understand." Iwaizumi said. "When you have your answer just shoot us a text."</p><p>"Okay." Tobio said, appreciative of the fact that Iwaizumi was trying to make this easy on him, even though none of this was easy.</p><p>If Kageyama were being honest, he knew what answer he would end up choosing. It was fairly obvious to him. Really, he just needed time to process this completely unexpected turn of events, and muster up the courage to bring up the idea to his parents.</p><p>"Okay, see you later, Tobio-chan~. And don't forget to unblock Iwa-chan, okay?"</p><p>Kageyama flushed with guilt. He'd completely forgotten about that.</p><p>Tobio turned away from them before they could catch a glimpse of the expression on his face and hurried back towards the bus.</p><p>Thankfully, his team had waited for him, even though he was quite sure it had been more than five minutes and Hinata probably should've interrupted the conversation ten minutes ago if he were really going through with intervening.</p><p>Kageyama climbed on the bus and saw Hinata sitting across from Daichi and Suga with an open seat next to him. "You ready to go?" Kageyama startled and turned to look at Takeda-sensei before nodding and going to take a seat next to Hinata.</p><p>"I tried to go after you, but Sensei wouldn't let me off the bus." Hinata pouted, his arms crossed. He was slumped down in his seat so far his chin was tucked to his chest and he was glaring at the seat in front of them both.</p><p>"It's okay." Kageyama told him.</p><p>"What did you guys talk about?"</p><p>"Uh," Kageyama wasn't sure if Iwaizumi and Oikawa wanted people to know that they were trying to start a relationship with him. At the same time, it would be hard to keep it a secret… and Hinata was his best friend. "They wanted to talk about us being soulmates."</p><p>Hinata sat up in his seat more after that statement and turned to face Kageyama with a curious expression.</p><p>"They, they want to try being soulmates." Kageyama hid his smile behind his hand. He didn't want to show how excited he was because if something didn't work out, they changed their minds, or Kageyama's parents were too against the idea, it was better for him to be the only one disappointed.</p><p>Hinata shrieked like he was the one who just started a relationship and then he started shaking Kageyama.</p><p>"Is something wrong?" Kageyama heard a voice on the other side of him. He turned to see Daichi and Suga staring at them.</p><p>"Everything's okay." Kageyama said, feeling embarrassed at Hinata's display in front of their upperclassmen.</p><p>"Those two Seijoh players didn't say anything bothersome, did they?" Suga asked, leaning over Daichi.</p><p>"No, it's fine. And um," Kageyama paused, remember what Oikawa had said before dragging him off, "don't let what Oikawa-san says get to you either. Annoying people is kind of his thing."</p><p>Daichi only shrugged, "Well, he wasn't wrong in what he said. We do have a lot of holes in our defenses. But, it'll all work out. I believe <em>he's</em> going to be back soon as well."</p><p>Kageyama raised an eyebrow. Hinata stopped shaking Kageyama and also listened in.</p><p>"The Guardian of Karasuno." Daichi elaborated.</p><p>"That sounds so cool!" Hinata cried.</p><p>"Mhm, he is super cool. And when he gets back we'll be able to show the Seijoh players just what we're capable of." Sugawara said, his smile almost making Kageyama want to lean back a little bit to further the distance.</p><p>Daichi only chuckled. "Well, he will definitely help our defenses at least."</p><p>Their conversation came to an abrupt end when the bus stopped at the front of Karasuno and everyone climbed out. "You better text me later about what happened!" Hinata whispered after they all walked off the bus. "I want all of the juicy details!"</p><p>"Okay, I guess."</p><p>Hinata just grinned in response and ran off, waving behind him.</p><p>Kageyama watched him leave and after he was out of sight, turned to go back to his own house.</p><p>Tobio knew he couldn't keep his relationship to his two soulmates a secret from the rest of the team for very long either but he also wasn't sure how to bring it up.</p><p>It would probably be easier than telling his parents.</p><p>Maybe he could casually slip it into the conversation somewhere. He wasn't sure how yet, but he had some time to figure it out. Kageyama sighed and tilted his head up to feel the breeze on his face. He would figure everything out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lol this is a mess. Ok, so ummm I'm rlly rushed rn, but I have a few announcements. Updates might not be as frequent because school is starting and I'm going to be doing a lot more and stuff so ya, just might be kinda busy for a while, we'll see how it goes. Hope you liked the chapter, thanks so much for reading, and comments are always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the weeks that followed and in the midst of all the chaos that had erupted when Nishinoya, 'The Guardian of Karasuno' and the Ace came back to the team, Kageyama was trying to work up the nerve to at least tell his mother about what had happened with his soulmate.</p><p>The nerves always fizzled out the moment Kageyama was about to bring it up though and he always convinced himself it was never the right time to tell her.</p><p>He also convinced himself to feel that way when it came to contacting Iwaizumi and Oikawa about his decision. Kageyama was scared they'd already changed their minds, even if the longer he kept them waiting the more plausible that idea would become, so waiting was counterintuitive.</p><p>He was just trying to find the right words though. Even if it would probably be fine if all he said was 'I want to try dating too' or even 'can we talk more first'. But having all of it be so simple after everything just seemed wrong somehow. Like it was too easy.</p><p>Tobio didn't want any of this to be complicated of course, but it just felt too good to be true.</p><p>Hinata told him he was overthinking it.</p><p>Kageyama knew that.</p><p>But knowing didn't make his brain shut the fuck up.</p><p>"I'm just scared. I was so busy preparing myself for rejection that I never really thought about all of this happening any other way. I mean what if they decide that it's not going to work out? I have never thought about how to take the rejection after already feeling accepted."</p><p>"Um…" Hinata sighed. "I don't know… I think that maybe you should talk to Suga-san about this."</p><p>"What? But he doesn't know about this! Why?"</p><p>Hinata scratched his chin and took a bite of food. "I feel like if I tell you what I'm thinking, it's gonna hurt your feelings."</p><p>"Well if you're just gonna call me a coward again, I think I can fucking handle it."</p><p>"You're not a coward. But you just have to get over it. People come and go, and even if it doesn't work out, everything will be okay."</p><p>"I know it'll be okay." Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows. "I just don't know what I'd say to them."</p><p>"Say like, fuck you cus I'm gonna find someone way hotter and with a million times better personality who can actually see that I'm tall, handsome, and I'm gonna be a millionaire."</p><p>"Hinata! It'll never go down like that! It'll be a billion times worse than whatever you're thinking they'll say."</p><p>"What are you so afraid of them saying?"</p><p>"I'm afraid they'll be <em>nice </em>about it. That's a billion times worse than saying I'm stupid and not good enough. When Iwaizumi-san said he couldn't like me, and told me about all the good qualities I had, it was horrible."</p><p>"So you want them to sneer and spit in your face?"</p><p>"Well no," Kageyama huffed, "but it'd be better because then at least I could be angry. If they're just nice about it then I'll know that they <em>care</em>."</p><p>"Hm, that is pretty terrifying."</p><p>Kageyama couldn't tell if Hinata was being sarcastic or not but the way he said it made Tobio bristle. "Yeah, it is. I'd rather them hate me."</p><p>Hinata groaned. "Tobio, who the fuck could hate you?"</p><p>"Uh, a ton of people? Kunimi, Kindaichi, my entire middle school, Tsukishima—"</p><p>"Well I don't think they hate you. I think Kunimi-kun and Kindaichi-kun are mad at you, and your school was made up of a bunch of childish idiots, and Tsukishima's just an ass to everyone.</p><p>"No, they hate me."</p><p>"Why?" Hinata asked, rolling his eyes. "I think you just want an excuse to hate them back. And I mean, none of the attitude you guys have is particularly likeable—"</p><p>"Excuse me!"</p><p>"—but, once you get passed that you aren't exactly unlikeable."</p><p>"Thanks." Kageyama said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.</p><p>"Point is, I don't think you're going to get them to hate you if you tried, so I guess you're stuck with more people caring about you."</p><p>Kageyama honestly wasn't sure how he felt about people caring about him sometimes.</p><p>Sometimes it felt nice to be cared for, knowing that someone would always have his back. Having someone to be there for him to talk to, having someone who would help him.</p><p>But there were times where he didn't like that word too. Times where when someone would 'protect' him because they 'cared', all it felt like was that they didn't trust or believe in him. Sometimes those moments had him spiraling down into a pit of self-doubt and worthlessness.</p><p>So every time Kageyama heard the word 'caring' or 'protect', he was cautious because of how they could make him feel. Kageyama liked when people offered their help. When Hinata offered to walk home with him it felt nice. And he liked the feeling of returning the offer to Hinata.</p><p>And Kageyama knew he shouldn't be cautious, because both those words had good connotations, but he couldn't help himself. It was too easy for someone to twist it and make him feel helpless and incapable of doing anything without them.</p><p>It was the way his parents had made him feel whenever they told him he couldn't do something for his own good. Things almost every other kid was allowed.</p><p>A lot of times, there wasn't a conscious aversion to being helped because it was only offered or he sought help out himself. But when he was forced to take the help of someone who cared about him, the aversion was there. And it flared up at the stupidest of things.</p><p>Like when Hinata said that.</p><p>"Whatever." Kageyama murmured, knowing he had nothing to be upset about.</p><p>Hinata groaned. "I knew you were gonna get upset.</p><p>"I'm not upset! I just have a lot to think about, okay! And your advice wasn't all that useful."</p><p>"I told you, you should've talked to Suga-san. He's better at dealing with this relationship stuff."</p><p>"How do you know that!"</p><p>"Haven't you been paying attention to anything that's been happening lately? Suga-san single-handedly got Tsukki confess his feelings to Yamaguchi, and we all know he's emotionally constipated."</p><p>"Wait… so Tsukishima and Yamaguchi-kun are… dating?"</p><p>"Duh."</p><p>"Are they soulmates?"</p><p>"Nope. That's why it took them so long. They're childhood friends so if they were soulmates they would've figured out they were probably gonna be together a long time ago."</p><p>"They could've been platonic." Kageyama grumbled.</p><p>"Well they weren't. Cus they're not soulmates. But anyway, if Suga-san can help Tsukki he can help anybody with their feelings. Even you, you just got to figure out how to tell him!"</p><p>"I wish I knew how to just figure everything out myself." That would be much better than relying on other people.</p><p>"Tobio," Hinata whined, "everybody wishes they could figure it out on their own. But if we always knew the right thing there wouldn't be a need for anybody else. So you're gonna have to figure out how to ask or just take my advice."</p><p>"You didn't give me any advice."</p><p>Hinata pouted. "I did so. You just didn't like it." He sniffed and turned back to eating.</p><p>Kageyama ignored Hinata being butt hurt and started thinking. Getting Suga's help begged another question in Kageyama's mind. How was he going to ask?</p><p>Sugawara said he could come to him for advice, but Kageyama also didn't want to be annoying. He didn't want to be awkward either, so finding the right time would be crucial.</p><p>And how would he ask for help? He'd have to explain everything wouldn't he… but he still wasn't sure if Oikawa and Iwaizumi wanted anyone to know. But it was only Hinata at the moment, and Sugawara could probably keep a secret better than him anyway so it wasn't like Kageyama was risking much by telling him.</p><p>One other person surely couldn't matter anyway, and he didn't see any reason why Iwaizumi or Oikawa would be upset at him for telling a few people. Everyone would find out eventually anyway, so it should be fine.</p><p>So Kageyama started looking for opportunities to ask Sugawara about what to do, but an opportunity never came even after a few days.</p><p>Meanwhile, things kept happening around him. They might be getting a new coach, the grandson of old coach Ukai, and they had a training camp coming up that he needed to talk to his parents about.</p><p>None of those things he particularly thought about though, because he wasn't worried about them.</p><p>Eventually he realized there would probably never be a perfect time to ask unless Kageyama made one, so he walked up to Suga in the middle of practice. Tobio felt awkward because he was interrupting a conversation between Suga and Daichi, but it was impossible to get a moment alone with Suga because it seemed like he was always talking to someone. Awkwardness was a price he was willing to pay.</p><p>"Um, Suga-san, can I ask you about something after practice today?"</p><p>"Sure, I just have to get changed in the club room after first if you don't mind waiting."</p><p>At this point, everyone knew Kageyama didn't change before heading home and nobody batted an eye at it anymore.</p><p>Tobio shook his head. He would wait for an hour after if he had to because there just wasn't anyone else Kageyama could ask about this.</p><p>Today, they were playing against a local team, with their possible coach watching. Everyone on the team would be playing since the coach wanted to get a feel for everyone's abilities.</p><p>Sugawara, Asahi, and Noya were all playing on the same team, and it was honestly the first time Kageyama got to see Suga's abilities in a match. Asahi was a pretty strong ace, and Noya was an incredible libero, but just like every game Kageyama had ever played, his eyes were continuously drawn back to the setter.</p><p>Sugawara wasn't like Kageyama. That much was obvious from the first set.</p><p>Sugawara's sets weren't incredibly precise, but they were dependable. He played much the same way he'd wanted Kageyama to play. Each set aimed to bring out the best in the spikers ability, even if sometimes it was too slow and got blocked.</p><p>He was good at tripping up their team with certain plays too. Some of them were unexpected, and some of them were obviously intended to mess them up.</p><p>Kageyama narrowed his eyes. It was time to use the quick. "My next toss will be to Shoyo." Kageyama announced, watching the other team's reaction. They were rightfully confused about why Kageyama would just say that and give the play away. "Even if you know that, you'll never stop this toss."</p><p>"Tobio! We are gonna look so stupid if we miss." Hinata whined quietly.</p><p>"Shut up. It's true that you're clumsy, you have no technique, and you won't ever be the next ace of this team based on where you are right now. But with me around, you'll be invincible, got it. You and the ace, you're both the same in the sense you score for our team. So you better make this one count."</p><p>Hinata nodded reluctantly.</p><p>"With me around you're invincible? Don't you think that sounds a little cocky." Tsukishima sneered.</p><p>"Maybe it does." But Kageyma didn't really care. If there was one thing no one had ever made him doubt, it was his volleyball playing skills. He was a great setter, he knew that, he would never forget it.</p><p>The whistle blew and when the ball came Kageyama's play Hinata rushed towards one side of the net. The blockers were all rushing there too but in a split moment, Hinata changed directions and jumped at the other end of the court.</p><p>His speed and agility still amazed Kageyama.</p><p>The only thing that could keep up with him was the ball.</p><p>Hinata swung his palm back and smacked the ball on to the floor, on the other side of the court and they gained another point.</p><p>In the end, the club won, and Kageyama was okay with that, but that didn't make what he'd said to Hinata any less true.</p><p>Everyone went inside the club room, and for once Kageyama stood and waited outside for Sugawara to come out and talk with him.</p><p>Sugawara was the first one out, which made Kageyama feel… good. He didn't exactly know if that was the right word, but the feeling made him want to smile so it must be good.</p><p>"Hey, Kageyama. Sorry I took so long." Suga gave him a small smile. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"</p><p>"Oh." Now that Kageyama actually had the opportunity to talk about the stuff on his mind, he suddenly had no idea how to express what he was thinking. "I guess I should start by telling you that I know who my soulmates are." That was the most crucial information because they were the entire reason he wanted to talk.</p><p>"Plural? How many soulmates do you have?"</p><p>"Two." Kageyama said nervously, but Suga just kept eyeing him as if to tell him to continue. "Anyway, I've kind of known they were my soulmates for a long time, but they only found out a few months ago."</p><p>Kageyama didn't really feel like saying what happened with that. "Anyway, they contacted me a few days ago, and said they wanted to date me."</p><p>"Wow that's great Kageyama!" Sugawara paused and then frowned. "But… is there an issue with that?"</p><p>"No… I mean, maybe? I don't really know. My relationship with them hasn't always been the greatest."</p><p>"Wanna talk about it?" Sugawara asked quietly, sitting down beside the gym prompting Kageyama to do the same.</p><p>"I don't think so. It's not a big deal, we just haven't always gotten along. And I mean, I think we get along better now, but I'm worried I'll mess up and make everything bad again. It all just feels so uncertain. I'm worried that once they see how I'm really like, they won't want to be with me anymore."</p><p>"What do you mean, 'how you really are'? What are you like?"</p><p>"I'm stupid." Academically and emotionally. He had no idea how to feel his emotions, he just wanted to get rid of them. And when he couldn't do that, he let them out in ways he didn't want. "I think too much. I'm not good looking, or social, or nice. And I'm worried they'll realize that I can't be any of those things for them, and they'll realize I was only ever good for volleyball."</p><p>Kageyama went quiet and stared ahead at the school gates, waiting for what Sugawara's advice for him would.</p><p>"Oh boy," Sugawara huffed and Kageyama glanced over to see Sugawara staring at him much more intensely than he wanted. Kageyama leaned back a little. "Would you ever say those things you just said about yourself to anyone on the team?"</p><p>"No." Kageyama said. Why would he? It wouldn't be true.</p><p>"Then don't say those things to yourself." He sighed, "Look, I get it, I'm my own worst bully too. I tear myself down even if everyone else is building me up sometimes. I think a lot of people do it. It's easy to say those things to yourself, stuff you wouldn't even imagine saying to anyone else, but I don't think people realize how much it's hurting them."</p><p>"I don't really get it."</p><p>"I don't think you're stupid. I think you can act stupid, but so can anyone. Thinking too much isn't a good habit, but you can work on letting things go. Not being very social isn't necessarily a bad thing, and Kageyama you are so pretty! Don't you notice everyone who stares at you at school?"</p><p>"No," Kageyama mumbled. "People don't stare either."</p><p>Sugawara shook his head, "If you took a moment to look around at more than the volleyball court, you would notice. And anyway, look, how long have your soulmates known you?"</p><p>"This is the fourth year."</p><p>"If I can notice these things about you in a few months I'm sure your soulmates already know 'how you really are' and they love you. I'm sure they see everything I see, and even if it doesn't work out, it might be due to any number of things. Not necessarily that you aren't good enough. So stop being so negative! Asahi is already enough to deal with, I don't want my kohai feeling all sad too."</p><p>"I wasn't sad, I was worried." Kageyama, rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at Suga who was giving him a huge smile now.</p><p>"Kageyama, you have absolutely no reason to worry. You are so great, and even if they don't see that someone else who loves you very deeply will."</p><p>"I guess so…"</p><p>"Awesome! So text them right now that you totally want to date them but they better treat you right, cus you aren't going to settle for anything that makes you feel less than absolutely amazing, right!"</p><p>"Um, yeah." Kageyama said, leaning back a little bit further. He forgot how loud and slightly threatening Suga could get sometimes.</p><p>Tobio slowly took out his phone and sighed.</p><p>"Do you… mind telling me who they are."</p><p>"I can tell you." Kageyama said slowly. "But you have to promise not to tell anyone else because I want to tell the team. And also I'm not sure if they want the relationship out in the open."</p><p>"I won't tell anyone, I swear."</p><p>"Okay. The only other person who knows is Shoyo, so yeah. Anyway, one of them is that Seijoh player who wanted to talk to me after our practice match… so um, the relationship was what he wanted to talk about. The other one is that ace from Seijoh. He's got really spiky hair and big muscles."</p><p>Kageyama flushed after he realized he'd let the last part slip. Sugawara only laughed though. "Okay, so that's number 1 and number 4, right?"</p><p>"Yeah…"</p><p>"Wow, Kageyama, you got an ace and a captain, huh? That's pretty cool." Sugwara said playfully, gently elbowing him.</p><p>"Yeah, it is." Kageyama admitted, though he thought of Oikawa as a captain much less than he thought of him as a setter.</p><p>"How do you think the rest of the team will react? I mean, we are on opposite teams, and I know Tanaka-san hates Oikawa-san already…"</p><p>"Haha, now you're just trying to stall texting them. But don't worry. If you're happy, I'm sure the rest of the team will be too."</p><p>Kageyama bit back a smile and more happy feelings swarming his chest.</p><p>"Okay, so… are you gonna text them now, or are you still worried."</p><p>"I'm still worried, but not as much now."</p><p>"Yeah, I don't think that worry will go away for a little while, so the best thing that you can do is try to let it go whenever it pops up. I do something to distract myself when I start to overthink something."</p><p>"Okay. I'll do that."</p><p>Kageyama opened this phone's messaging app and clicked on the group chat he shared with Oikawa and Iwaizumi. A group chat he hadn't messaged in five or six months at this point. One he honestly hadn't thought he'd ever open again.</p><p>"Send it!"</p><p>"I'm going." Kageyama grumbled. He wrote and erased several messages, but in the end, went with something simple even though he hadn't initially wanted to. It felt right in the moment.</p><p>
  <strong>Kageyama: I want to try to date.</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>My Favorite Senpai: Okay, cool. Do you wanna talk? We could meet at my place after volleyball practice tomorrow</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>My Favorite Senpai: Sorry if that sounds weird. I'm kinda nervous</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Setter Senpai: Thank god, Iwa-chan. I was starting to think I was the only one u meany DX</strong>
</p><p>Kageyama smiled, and his heart did flips inside his chest. They were so cute! He didn't know how to handle it.</p><p>"Well you look happy." Sugawara said, smirking.</p><p>"Yeah. That's good, cus I'm really happy."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Lol I don't rlly have an excuse for this taking so long XD I just had no inspo until last night where I wrote all this. Cus the draft I had been writing... yikes lmao. I've only read it through once cus I'm kinda bored with this chapter at this point, so I just wanted to get it out. Anyway, tysm for reading, as always!</p><p>Also, just curious... how old do you guys think I am 👀👀</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys, I'm back! Thanks so much for waiting and for all the support you've given!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Kageyama was even quieter around his parents and avoided them, as if he thought they could read his mind and know what he was going to do after school. As if they could know he was going to meet up with his soulmates and do the exact thing they'd never wanted him to do.</p><p>He wasn't sure what his parents thought about anything anymore either because he didn't talk to them much. Kageyama wasn't optimistic enough to believe they were perfectly okay with the idea of him being with his soulmates, but he wasn't sure if they were absolutely against it either.</p><p>He wanted to believe that it didn't matter what they thought because he was going to live his life regardless, but that mentality was far from the truth. Tobio couldn't not care about what they thought, and even if he could, they still had authority over him. He couldn't just do whatever he wanted no matter how much he wanted to.</p><p>"Mama, can I go to a friends house after school today, please?" Kageyama asked, knowing what her answer would be.</p><p>She nodded and sent a glance at him but didn't say anything. Kageyama had absolutely no idea why she looked at him like that, and he didn't ask either. He would rather not know than have to explain whatever she wanted him to.</p><p>After he ate breakfast he walked off to school for another day of the same thing and volleyball.</p><p>Kageyama should probably tell the team about Oikawa and Iwaizumi, because even if something didn't work out, he figured they should still know, and maybe they could even help him like Suga had.</p><p>Hopefully not like Hinata because 'get over it' wasn't very good advice in his opinion and whether it was good or not didn't even matter since he personally didn't find it helpful.</p><p>The problem was sometimes Kageyama overthought and Hinata didn't think at all. And he would love to be able to tell his brain to shut up and have it actually listen like Hinata, but he couldn't do that because obviously if he could, he would.</p><p>Tobio mostly kept to himself for the rest of the day, even in volleyball, just trying to think of what he would say to Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Was he expected to say anything at all?</p><p>And assuming that Iwaizumi's dad would be there, this was his chance to make a good first impression, and he wasn't going to screw that up.</p><p>"You worry too much Tobio, it'll all go well." Hinata said walking off campus with him after volleyball practice. "Just tell your brain to shut up whenever it gives you negative thoughts like that."</p><p>"You're right, Shoyo, that would be really nice." Kageyama grumbled and then added, "I wish I could turn my brain off all the time like you can."</p><p>Hinata gave him a smile before it slowly disappeared and he furrowed his eyebrows in concentration. "Did… you just call me stupid?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Rich from you. I got a D on our last assignment. You outright failed."</p><p>"Shut up! It was the opposite two assignments ago!"</p><p>"I'm just saying you're as bad at school as me."</p><p>"Well I used to get A's before you came around."</p><p>"You mean before I became your inspiration to put your energy into volleyball and become the greatest player in the whole world! You told me you only joined cus of your soulmates, so it's a good thing I came around."</p><p>"You tried it just cus of one game you saw. If anything I was <em>your </em>inspiration."</p><p>"Were not! And besides, the point of my comment is that you end up worrying about all the wrong things. I would think you'd be worrying about a volleyball game, or your future, or even your grades. Not about seeing people you've known for three years."</p><p>"It's different now."</p><p>"Really? How."</p><p>"Well they know who I really am now… and they like me. It just feels different okay, you haven't even met your soulmate. You'd probably be a mess too."</p><p>"No way, I don't overthink like you do. I would just go up to her and start talking."</p><p>Kageyama wanted to refute that but he couldn't because he pictured Hinata doing that exact thing quite easily.</p><p>"Whatever. Your soulmate doesn't play volleyball, and she's the same age as you and you guys don't have any history. It's just easier."</p><p>"I guess so. I just don't see why you're so nervous about meeting with them today."</p><p>Kageyama didn't respond and rolled his eyes prompting Hinata to kick his shin. "You're so rude! I'm just trying to help."</p><p>"I know." Kageyama huffed. "Let's just not talk about it."</p><p>"Okay I guess…"</p><p>They'd stopped at the gate and Hinata stood there with him while Kageyama internally tried to work up the nerves to walk to Iwaizumi's house.</p><p>Someone knocked against his shoulder, making him take a step back to let them pass.</p><p>"Fucking hell you ass." Kageyama snarled at Tsukishima who was looking down at him with one of his annoying signature smirks.</p><p>"No need to be so vulgar." Tsukishima's condescending tone made Kageyama want to rip out his vocal cords. "I bet your soulmates wouldn't want their partner to cuss so much."</p><p>"And no soulmate wants to find out their partner is an asshole like you!" Kageyama growled, gritting his teeth as he realized Tsukishima had probably been listening to his and Hinata's conversation. "How much did you hear anyway!"</p><p>"Just the end. Why<em> are </em>you so nervous to meet with them anyway? Get some guts, king."</p><p>"I'll kick you in yours if you don't shut the fuck up." Hinata said, scowling at Tsukishima, his eyes completely serious.</p><p>"Well there's no need to get violent."</p><p>"Why not? Cus we'd kick your ass?"</p><p>Tsukishima opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by Yamaguchi calling out his name. "I'm ready to go now, thanks for waiting."</p><p>"Couldn't you just fucking wait like a normal person." Kageyama grumbled not understanding why Tsukishima was always trying to start fights with him.</p><p>"Like I would just stand around with your annoying presence right beside me."</p><p>"You just wanted to piss me off!"</p><p>"What was I suppose to say to someone who can't even confess?" Kageyama was about to retaliate that he had to have help from Sugawara but he didn't get the chance to say anything because Yamaguchi cut in.</p><p>"You have a crush, Kageyama-kun?"</p><p>"Two, actually. They're his soulmates." Tsukishima revealed, that sick grin still plastered to his face.</p><p>"Wow that's really cool that you found them both and you're going to confess to them today?"</p><p>Not exactly since he'd already confessed but he didn't really feel like explaining anything so he nodded. "They're all super cute together." Hinata piped up unhelpfully.</p><p>Kageyama glared at him and then turned back to Yamaguchi, refusing to look at Tsukishima. "Right, um, anyway I should get going to go do that."</p><p>"Not nervous anymore, king?"</p><p>"Go to hell, Tsukishima." Kageyama pushed passed him, sending a scowl that didn't even seem to phase Tsukishima.</p><p>Nobody said anything else which Kageyama was grateful for. Or maybe they did, and Kageyama was just too far away to hear.</p><hr/><p>The address Iwaizumi sent him wasn't too far from Karasuno, and Kageyama recognized the door to his house, even if he didn't remember seeing the rest of it before.</p><p>The colors were darker than Oikawa's house and there appeared to be random scraps of metal or something strewn across the front yard. The door to the house was larger than Kageyama even remembered, and only served as further intimidation.</p><p>Tobio briefly stood there, wondering if he should knock or ring the bell, but he didn't get the chance to contemplate because the door swung open before he could do anything.</p><p>Standing there was a man quite a few inches shorter than Kageyama, but the way he stood made him seem much taller.</p><p>The man's mouth was set in a straight line and both of them just stood there for a moment before the man opened his mouth and questioned, "Kageyama?"</p><p>Tobio nodded numbly and walked inside when the man moved, taking off his shoes at the door.</p><p>"Hey, Kageyama!" Iwaizumi said, standing in the kitchen doorway.</p><p>"Tobio-chan is here?" Oikawa peeked out from behind Iwaizumi.</p><p>Kageyama wished he could gauge their moods better but it was almost impossible to read them. Iwaizumi seemed a little nervous, maybe. His eyes kept darting around the room and his fingers kept twitching. Oikawa seemed to be more or less his usual self which meant he might decide to be nice, or he might flip Kageyama's whole mood with his next words.</p><p>The possibilities were endless.</p><p>"Glad you could come, Kageyama, and you've met my dad."</p><p>"Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you, sir." Kageyama said and Iwaizumi's dad nodded.</p><p>Kageyama was sure he'd already blown it and made a bad impression. Now Iwaizumi's dad probably thought he was inconsiderate and rude. Maybe he'd made up his mind from the moment he'd laid eyes on Kageyama. That was probably why he looked so solemn and cold. Maybe he thought Kageyama would be a bad influence on Iwaizumi which might've been true. He didn't even bring a gift or anything!</p><p>"Come on, I don't think you ever got to see my room." Iwaizumi interrupted Kageyama's thoughts and grabbed his hand, leading him to the back of my house. "I would've opened the door for you but my dad was really excited to meet you."</p><p>Kageyama thought back to the man he'd just met and frowned, disbelieving. "He was?"</p><p>"Yeah, he just gets shy around new people sometimes."</p><p>Kageyama couldn't picture any relative of Iwaizumi's being shy in any way. Iwaizumi always seemed so confident and always ready to take charge in any given situation. He would've thought he got those traits from his father, but maybe not.</p><p>He felt the word stoic better described Iwaizumi's father, and that made sense. But being shy just didn't quite fit with Kageyama's mental image or with the attitude Kageyama had thought he displayed. Iwaizumi obviously knew his dad far better than he did though, so Kageyama let it go and entertained the possibility that Iwaizumi's dad didn't completely hate him.</p><p>"Don't worry, he'll warm up Tobio-chan."</p><p>Kageyama nodded. "Will your mom be here?"</p><p>"No. I barely see her myself," Iwaizumi gave a small laugh but it seemed a bit forced, "so yeah. But I'd love for you to meet her if she ever does visit."</p><p>Kageyama furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Did his mother travel a lot?</p><p>"My parents divorced a long time ago. But they weren't soulmates either, so it was already statistically less likely for the relationship to work. I live with my dad, and my mom usually comes to visit a few times a year for a week or two." Iwaizumi explained, when he saw Tobio was confused. He seemed to be even more nervous now though. Maybe he thought Kageyama wouldn't react well or something.</p><p>"Oh." Was all he said, because he couldn't think of anything else.</p><p>Tobio thought of his parents own relationship. They weren't soulmates either, and while things had calmed down and there was hardly any arguing anymore, there was still a constant tension in the house.</p><p>He wasn't sure what else to say, so he kept quiet. Iwaizumi didn't seem to be too bothered by his parents separation anyway. Maybe it had been better for him after they separated. Kageyama had often thought about what it would be like to live with only one of his parents because he knew it could become a reality. He usually pushed the thoughts away after a little while though because of how weird it would be. He wasn't sure if his life would necessarily be better or worse if his parents divorced, but it would be different and Kageyama didn't want to dwell on something that hadn't happened.</p><p>"Okay," Iwaizumi said closing the door to his room, "before we talk, we're all going to try to be soulmates and date, right?"</p><p>Kageyama and Oikawa nodded.</p><p>"Okay, so, does anyone have any upfront questions about this?"</p><p>He didn't have any questions but he was very interested in Iwaizumi's room. Tobio knew Iwaizumi liked monsters, but apparently he liked them a lot more than Tobio thought he did judging from all the merch.</p><p>"I don't have any upfront questions" Oikawa started, "however, I do want to say that while Iwaizumi is ecstatic about the whole 'third soulmate' development, I am still apprehensive about it."</p><p>Kageyama nodded, finally seeing Oikawa start to get nervous because he paused and looked anywhere but at the two of them.</p><p>"I just don't know if it's going to work or anything so… I'm not going to lie and say I'm completely on board. I don't want you to feel awkward or anything, Tobio-chan, but I won't lie about how I feel about this either. I'm just…" <em>scared </em>Tobio thought but Oikawa didn't finish his sentence.</p><p>"Right, we're just trying this out." Iwaizumi shifted uncomfortably from his place on the floor. "We can take everything as slow as we need to."</p><p>And if it didn't work out then it didn't work. Kageyama was prepared for that and he could see how unsure Oikawa was and how nervous Iwaizumi was about starting this.</p><p>Still, he was fairly sure neither Iwaizumi nor Oikawa were as nervous as he was. Kageyama had the feeling that if every muscle in his body wasn't tense as a wire he'd be shaking. He was nervous about messing this up and saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. He'd never been in a relationship before, barely had a handle on how to interact with Hinata, forget an entirely new dynamic with his two soulmates.</p><p>Not to mention how stressful the conversation already was and it had hardly begun.</p><p>"Alright, so, about dating," Iwaizumi said trying to steer the conversation in a more optimistic direction. "Kageyama, what does dating mean to you?"</p><p>"Well," he paused for a moment to think, "when you're dating someone you um… go on dates with them, and maybe kiss them and stuff?" Kageyama wasn't really sure what dating was since he hadn't dated anyone, but he had a vague idea of what it usually looked like due to reading books and watching movies, though oftentimes the characters also did things he had no interest in.</p><p>Iwaizumi gave a small laugh that Kageyama would never admit was contagious. "Why are you laughing?" he asked defensively, scrunching his nose slightly.</p><p>"Nothing, you're just cute."</p><p>Kageyama blushed at that and covered his face. He couldn't remember Iwaizumi ever calling him cute before. Oikawa had, many times even if it was mostly taunting, but not Iwaizumi. "I'm not, it's just the truth. That is what dating means." Kageyama grumbled, slowly lowering his hands.</p><p>"To you." Oikawa said. "That isn't what dating is for everyone but it's close enough."</p><p>Iwaizumi interrupted and gave Oikawa an irritated look before asking, "Alright, what about boundaries, Kageyama? Is there something you aren't okay with?"</p><p>Something came to Tobio's mind immediately, "Um, so, I haven't told anyone on my team about you except Shoyo and Suga-san, so if you could not talk about it if you're around them until I say something." He supposed Tsukishima and Yamaguchi knew he was trying to be with his soulmates, but they still had no idea who they were so he still considered it a secret from them. Kageyama stayed silent for a few more minutes trying to think if there was something else he didn't want them to do. His mind was blanking.</p><p>"Can we touch you? Kiss you?" Iwaizumi asked.</p><p>Kageyama clenched his hands and almost wished Hinata was there to say something stupid so he could get mad and not have to focus on how to tell them what he wanted. "You can kiss me." Kageyama paused before continuing, "Touch me where?"</p><p>"Like, hold your hand or something." Iwaizumi said trying to laugh it off but Kageyama could still tell he was nervous.</p><p>"That's fine." Kageyama didn't particularly like touch, his first instinct was usually to pull away if someone tried to stand in his personal space, but at the same time he didn't hate it to the point he wouldn't let anyone touch him. If he was close to someone, it was alright, and being in a team for so long had somewhat helped him warm up to touching. Kageyama still normally wouldn't initiate contact, however.</p><p>"And… what about volleyball?" Kageyama asked.</p><p>Oikawa snorted. "Of course <em>you </em>would bring that up, Tobio-chan."</p><p>Kageyama rolled his eyes. It was what they had all been thinking and he wasn't stupid enough to believe volleyball and being on opposite teams wouldn't strain the relationship. Volleyball was too important to all of them to not let it affect anything.</p><p>"If you had gone to Aoba Johsai we wouldn't even have to discuss this."</p><p>"Well I didn't." Kageyama said bluntly, not rising to Oikawa's bait.</p><p>"For understandable reasons." Iwaizumi cut in before Oikawa could say anything else.</p><p>Oikawa huffed, "I was just saying. And they weren't that understandable."</p><p>"Yes they were." Kageyama growled, crossing his arms. "And it doesn't matter, I can't change it and I don't want to. The point is that now it's a little bit of a problem."</p><p>"I don't see the problem. We're gonna crush you at the tournament no matter what you try."</p><p>Kageyama felt like the temperature in the room started rising and the way Oikawa was looking at him made Kageyama grit his teeth.</p><p>Ever the peace maker, Iwaizumi explained what Kageyama knew Oikawa already knew. "I think he's talking about how the loss of one of us might affect the relationship and I think we should talk about it. Personally, I'd be upset if we lost, but I wouldn't be angry at Kageyama."</p><p>"You don't think you would be." Oikawa remarked. "You wouldn't know since you haven't lost an official match to a fucking first year."</p><p>"Well I don't think I would be. I would just need time."</p><p>"I think I would too." Kageyama said. A loss would be devastating to the whole team, he wouldn't just be able to shrug it off, but he didn't want it to affect the relationship either. Volleyball was extremely important to him but he was starting to see that maybe if he paid more attention to people they would be a better safe space than volleyball ever would be.</p><p>The person he was really worried about was Oikawa. There was no telling what he would do. As Kageyama saw it, volleyball had always been more important to Oikawa than he was. If it came down to him or volleyball he could easily see Oikawa dropping their relationship for it.</p><p>He didn't even know if he could be angry about that were it to happen. He would be hurt, yes, but it would also be expected. As long as he expected it, it wouldn't hurt too much.</p><p>"The mature thing to do would be to accept the loss and move on and… I guess that's what I would try to do." Oikawa finally said, seeing that all their attention was on him.</p><p><em>Way to give yourself an out</em> Kageyama thought, but shook that thought away quickly. There was no need to be bitter. They were just trying this out, there was no guarantee it would work right now, or ever for that matter. The important thing was that they were all trying.</p><p>"I guess that's as good an answer as we're ever going to get." Iwaizumi gave him an apologetic look but Kageyama just shrugged. He expected that kind of answer from Oikawa. And it wasn't as if either of them were in love with Kageyama. He could tell that much just by looking at them.</p><p>It had taken almost three years for Kageyama, who'd known they were his soulmates the entire time, to fall in love, only realized in the moment he confessed to Iwaizumi.</p><p>Iwaizumi seemed like a huge romantic, and even though he believed in soulmates more than either him or Oikawa, Kageyama knew it would take time for him to really love him. And Oikawa held grudges and he got annoyed by Kageyama easily, so it would take him even longer.</p><p>Some part of Kageyama questioned whether they would ever love him and look at him like he saw them look at each other.</p><p>He wanted it so badly, too much sometimes because if this didn't work he needed to try and be okay with that and move on. Dwelling on something that would only hurt didn't do much good for anyone anyway. He shouldn't be so stuck on a future that hadn't happened yet and just remember things that made him happy.</p><p>He almost smiled thinking back to a time when he'd tried to avoid his soulmates and have nothing to do with them and how ironic it was that that had ultimately led to this situation.</p><p>Kageyama was glad there were a bunch of times he could look back on and laugh about already even though his life was barely getting started.</p><p>After several rounds of awkward silence, Oikawa announced something so Oikawa-like he had to bite back another smile. "I also want to have pet names." He said.</p><p>"Why?" Iwaizumi muttered. "You already call us whatever the fuck you want anyway." he rolled his eyes.</p><p>"And yet no one ever calls me Tooru-chan in retaliation."</p><p>"Cus you would like it." Iwaizumi retorted, making Oikawa cross his arms but not refute anything.</p><p>"Whatever! I'm going to go eat since you guys are being mean!" Oikawa said.</p><p>"You were mean first."</p><p>"Speaking of eating," Kageyama interrupted softly, "I should get home. Mama is going to start wondering where I am if I'm not home for dinner."</p><p>"Okay," Iwaizumi said easily, "we all have to go out together sometime though." He added, patting Kageyama's shoulder.</p><p>Tobio nodded, not really knowing if he was supposed to say anything to that.</p><p>"Yep, sounds good to me." Oikawa said, but he didn't move from where he stood.</p><p>Kageyama sighed. He knew who was more enthusiastic about trying this new relationship but he still appreciated whatever effort Oikawa was trying to put in, even if it was mostly for Iwaizumi's sake.</p><p>So he gave a small smile, even if it probably came off as awkward to the two of them. It didn't matter because he could tell they felt awkward too. Iwaizumi was usually more at ease and Oikawa was more clingy than he was at the moment.</p><p>It was odd how they were usually closer than this even though they were striving now to be closer than ever.</p><p>When Kageyama closed the front door behind him, he realized that because this was really happening, it meant that he actually had to tell everyone.</p><p>He knew he could tell his parents over dinner because that was still the one thing they all did together even though they had grown so distant. A gradual distance that he'd barely even acknowledged. Not acknowledging it didn't mean that there wasn't still a gaping chasm between all three of them though.</p><p>It was almost like they'd all given up. And Kageyama hadn't meant to give up, he wasn't sure any of them had. But regardless of intention, it was almost as if they were strangers living in the same house and he wondered whether his confession would bring them closer or divide them further.</p><p>He was believed the latter was more likely, but that was just pessimism. Sometimes expecting the worst helped him feel better, especially when it came to his parents. Optimism didn't work all the time, and it left more room for disappointment. So, he tried to think of the worst thing that could possibly happen and with that in mind, walking in, taking off his shoes, and going to the dining room became a lot easier.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I've been on this chapter so long it started to play mind games with me so I just need to be done with it and never look at it again lol. So first of all, sorry this took a while, this was a monster chapter that tried to destroy me and I was also just really busy last month. So yeah. Second of all, they're officially dating now so that's cool ig even though there's still a lot of problems I have to work out. Also Ik in a lot of stories like this there's quite a few arguments (especially at first) but idk how to do that tbh. Like jealousy ain't cute so I don't really wanna work that angle and the only arguments I'm coming up with are about volleyball lol (pretty typical huh?) anyway, I'm planning to end this story at the end of Kageyama's first year at Karasuno (maybe an epilogue? idk, I feel like epilogues ruin it sometimes) but we'll see if we get that far.</p><p>In the mean time if you have an specific scenes or just something in general you'd like to see in this story you can feel free to suggest them and if I can incorporate it I definitely will (and don't say a kiss. I know yall want that XD) so anyway, yeah. I think this story only has a few major plot points left and I'm hoping I can finish this story in the next couple months if I start updating more. But either way, I'll see you guys later, thank you so much for reading!</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama went home that night, but he decided not to tell his parents about his soulmates yet. The more he mulled over the conversation the more he realized that getting it to go well would be next to impossible. The topic of soulmates was not a good idea to bring up when he already needed a favor from them.</p><p>Asking them to sign the permission slip so he could go to Tokyo with the team for the training camp was objectively more important to him than starting an argument he could start when he got home.</p><p>"So," Kageyama started quietly, picking at his food, "my volleyball team is going to a training camp in Tokyo and I sort of need you to sign the permission slip so I can go."</p><p>Before this, Kageyama had contemplated forging the signature and giving his parents a lie and trying to cut off their communication with the school that way they would never find out.</p><p>But in reality, that was way too much work, and for once just following the rules would be infinitely easier.</p><p>He could always forge the signature somehow as a backup plan. Doing something like that had gotten him in trouble before though, so not only was the honest way easier, it would probably be better for him.</p><p>"You want to go on a volleyball trip?"</p><p>Kageyama paused, not liking the tone in his father's voice or the look in his eye before slowly nodding.</p><p>"Then I guess you better get at least a C on your next assignments."</p><p>Kageyama paled. Apparently he hadn't disappointed his parents enough to have them completely give up on his grades.</p><p>If he was being honest though, he had been failing more than he'd been passing lately. Getting higher marks at this point seemed like a fever dream.</p><p>"That high…"</p><p>"Yes. I'm tired of watching you waste your academic potential. So you better get high marks or you will not be going on that trip, and you will be studying the entire weekend instead."</p><p>Kageyama remembered back to a time studying was all he would do and instantly wanted to bang his head against a brick wall. "Okay," was all he could say.</p><p>"Which class?"</p><p>"All of them."</p><p>Kageyama hated this deal.</p><p>But he nodded anyway, finished dinner, and went upstairs to study for the first time in a long time.</p><p>Tobio couldn't even make sense of any of it though, and Hinata didn't help either.</p><p>So instead of doing homework neither of them had any idea how to do they just talked on the phone for two hours instead.</p><hr/><p>"We should ask someone to tutor us." Hinata said the next morning as they walked into school.</p><p>"You aren't the one who has to get C's to go on the trip."</p><p>"Friends don't let friends suffer alone. Besides it isn't like my mom is exactly happy about my grades. She keeps telling me to get them up, but studying is just so boring." Hinata sighed. "It's way more fun to get distracted."</p><p>"Who would we even ask?"</p><p>"We could ask one of the third years. They all get decent grades so I'm sure they could help us with our first year stuff."</p><p>Kageyama honestly doubted that, based on his own experiences with remembering things from years ago, but Kageyama had never been particularly talented at school. He suspected all the grades were from studying all day, but he didn't naturally pick stuff up like Oikawa.</p><p>"What if we're bothering them though…"</p><p>"We aren't bothering them, they love us," Hinata said smirking. "We're the adorable first years. We're like babies to them."</p><p>"How do you know that?"</p><p>"Duh, third year middle school? Remember all the first years that came in? Everyone would call them the 'baby first years'? I mean, some called them fresh meat… but they were just the bullies mostly."</p><p>Kageyama didn't remember that at all, but he hadn't talked to many people his third year in middle school either so he wasn't a good judge.</p><p>"I guess so."</p><p>"Either way, it wouldn't hurt to ask, right?"</p><p>Kageyama shrugged.</p><p>"Alright, well, I'll ask Suga-san and Daichi-san, you ask Asahi-san!"</p><p>"Okay I guess." Kageyama said, still not wanting to ask the third years for help. But he could see he wasn't going to be changing Hinata's mind and so his only option was to go along with Hinata's plan.</p><p>Later that day at practice, most people were practicing individually, and some people were in small groups.</p><p>Asahi was practicing alone, and this was probably Kageyama's best chance to ask if he would help. Tobio looked over at Hinata who gave him a thumbs up and waved him over.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, he turned away from Hinata and walked up to Asahi.</p><p>"Um, Asahi-san…"</p><p>Asahi stopped what he was doing and turned to Tobio nervously. "Yeah, what is it Kageyama?"</p><p>"Oh nothing. I was just wondering if…" Kageyama took a moment to think of what he wanted to say, "you could tutor me and Hinata a little bit this week."</p><p>"Oh, well," Asahi paused for a minute before continuing, "my grades have started slipping recently and my mom got kind of upset so I have to get them up again. I don't think I have enough time this week… if you still need help later though, I could help you guys."</p><p>Kageyama opened his mouth to respond but was rudely interrupted.</p><p>"So the king needs a tutor, huh?"</p><p>Tsukishima had a tendency to taunt loudly so everyone in the gym heard and was now most likely listening even if they pretended not to be.</p><p>"Are you fucking volunteering?" Kageyama asked, hoping to shut him up quickly.</p><p>It seemed to work and that normally would've been the end of it but Sugawara spoke up, "That's a great idea. You first years should all have a study session together."</p><p>"I don't know if…" Daichi started but Sugawara kept going.</p><p>"It's like a study session but also like a bonding session." Nobody said anything. "It's such a great idea!" Sugawara said, validating himself even though Kageyama didn't think it was a good idea at all.</p><p>All it was, was a chance for everyone to be miserable and it might turn into a fist fight, Kageyama wasn't sure. It depended on how much of an ass Tsukishima decided to be.</p><p>"That's a nice idea." Asahi said. "Then everyone would be getting something out of it. Kageyama and Hinata need tutors and all the first years could get to know each other better."</p><p>"I know, it's genius."</p><p>"Well I don't know if I would—"</p><p>"Genius." Sugawara interrupted. "So, do you guys have any plans tonight?"</p><p>"N-no." Kageyama stuttered without thinking and then cursed himself because he should've said yes. If he had plans then he would have an excuse to not do this.</p><p>"I have plans." Tsukishima said, pushing his glasses up.</p><p>Kageyama nodded in mock understanding, congratulating Tsukishima on his nice save, not that he'd ever admit that out loud.</p><p>"Well cancel them. You guys are gonna have so much fun hanging out together. Wouldn't you agree, Hinata-kun?"</p><p>"Yes-no…" Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. "Maybe?"</p><p>"And Yamaguchi doesn't have any plans either, right?"</p><p>"Well… I mean not really." Yamaguchi said, glancing around at the other three.</p><p>"Great! You guys will have an awesome time."</p><p>"Studying?" Kageyama asked doubtfully.</p><p>"For sure!" Sugawara exclaimed adamantly, poking Kageyama's forehead. "I can't wait to hear all about it."</p><p>Kageyama nodded slowly while Sugawara turned back towards the rest of the third years.</p><p>"What just happened." Hinata whispered.</p><p>"We're gonna have a long night is what just happened." Tsukishima said sharply and stalked to the other side of the court.</p><p>Hinata and Kageyama just stared at each other before continuing practice. Tobio felt dead inside. All he'd wanted was a tutor and somehow he had to study with Tsukishima now. He knew none of that would probably end well.</p><hr/><p>Later that evening, Kageyama and the other three first years gathered by the gate, although no one said anything for at least five minutes.</p><p>"So, whose house are we going to?"</p><p>"We can't go to mine." Kageyama said.</p><p>"Well… we could go to mine but it's a bit far."</p><p>"My dad really doesn't like me inviting people over without telling him a day in advance."</p><p>They all looked at Tsukishima who seemed annoyed, but he was always like that. "Fine." Was all he said and started walking away.</p><p>They all followed Tsukishima to his house and went inside. Tsukishima's house was normal, as far as Kageyama could tell. Two stories, neutrally colored, and bright.</p><p>Tsukishima went behind one of the corners of the house where a lot of noise was coming from and Kageyama heard voices but he was too far to hear the conversation until there was a loud yell, "You have friends?" and then a yelp right after.</p><p>"They aren't friends." He heard Tsukishima say before he came out of the room and motioned for them to follow him upstairs.</p><p>"You sure like dinosaurs, huh." Hinata said jokingly when they entered the room. Kageyama had to admit there were a lot of things dinosaur in the small bedroom.</p><p>Tsukishima glared at him, "At least I'm not obsessed with a stupid sport."</p><p>"Yeah, well you play the stupid sport too you jerk. So shut up."</p><p>Tsukishima did and Kageyama decided to bring up the reason they were all supposed to be there in the first place. "So, studying… my parents said if I don't get overall C's in all my classes assignments this week I can't go on the volleyball trip."</p><p>"Yeah, and I'm not letting him suffer through studying alone."</p><p>"How noble." Tsukishima replied sarcastically.</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"So, what do you guys need help with the most?" Yamaguchi asked.</p><p>"Math and literature." Kageyama had always been the worst in those subjects no matter what year he'd been in.</p><p>"Science. I've been getting F's on all the assignments."</p><p>"Probably because you don't study." Tsukishima commented.</p><p>Hinata shrugged, "Probably."</p><p>Kageyama only had about an hour or so to study so they all got to work.</p><p>Tsukishima was a really mean teacher, meaner than even Oikawa who took every opportunity he could to boast about his intellectual skills that Kageyama hardly cared about.</p><p>"I'm trying to understand, but it's hard to think about anything except punching your smug face." Hinata complained after a few minutes of studying.</p><p>"Well if you sat up straight and actually paid attention then this would go faster <em>and </em>I'm not even smug. You're just being annoying."</p><p>Hinata sighed and rolled over on his right to face Tsukishima, legs draped over Kageyama's lap.</p><p>"Are you happy?"</p><p>"You still aren't sitting up."</p><p>"And I'm not gonna."</p><p>"Guys, what the fuck is polynomial division?" Kageyama asked, feeling terrified and overwhelmed after looking at the single problem in front of him because everything seemed like it was in a foreign language. It was like trying to understand English but worse. Way worse.</p><p>"Never heard of it." Hinata said.</p><p>"We just talked about it in class today…" Tsukishima said, irritated. He sounded like he was barely restraining himself from choking Hinata to death.</p><p>"I must've been looking at Kageyama's volleyball notes."</p><p>"You were reading my notes!"</p><p>"Well what else was I supposed to do?"</p><p>"Maybe listen to the lecture." Tsukishima growled. "Maybe if you did that you'd at least have some idea of what I'm trying to teach you!"</p><p>"I know I'm a difficult student which was why we wanted Asahi and not you. I learn better with teachers who are patient."</p><p>"I'm patient enough not to smack you."</p><p>"I think I'm gonna cry." Kageyama interrupted while trying to follow the unhelpful instructions in the textbook.</p><p>"Then cry."</p><p>"Look, it's just like normal division, but harder." Yamaguchi tried to explain. "So, how many times does x go into x³?" Yamaguchi asked.</p><p>"I don't know." Kageyama said. He didn't even really know what that meant.</p><p>"Well, that's okay, we can learn how."</p><p>"I think Yamaguchi-kun is a better teacher than you. He makes it sound easy, whereas you just use a bunch of words I don't understand." Hinata said. "I've never even heard of polynomial division, but now I feel as if I can do it already."</p><p>"Yeah, good luck with that. I hope you fail."</p><p>"That is so rude." Hinata said. "I'm going to go learn with Yamaguchi."</p><p>Tsukishima rolled his eyes and put his headphones back on while Yamaguchi tried to teach them both polynomial division.</p><hr/><p>"Sorry that took you so long, I'll start paying more attention in class." Kageyama said after about an hour of studying.</p><p>"Oh, it was no problem. But paying attention in class probably would help you get better grades."</p><p>"Probably." Kageyama grumbled. "Um, thanks for letting us use your house to study too."</p><p>"Don't be so polite. It's disgusting."</p><p>"Fine then, go to hell you blonde tree." Kageyama said and rolled his eyes. Tsukishima didn't say anything but had that familiar look of irritation and superiority Kageyama always wanted to smack him for. He must've just been waiting for Tobio to be rude so he could be rude back.</p><p>"Have a horrible night."</p><p>Kageyama flipped him off with one hand and with the other grabbed Hinata's wrist, dragging them both off.</p><p>"That was pretty fun, huh?" Hinata said after they'd walked a little further from Tsukishima's house.</p><p>"You have an odd idea of fun."</p><p>"Well, we learned something new and we got to do it with teammates!"</p><p>Kageyama just stared blankly at Hinata. How could he have so much energy after all of that. He felt completely drained and just wanted to go to sleep.</p><p>"I can't believe we spent so long just learning one thing, but I mean math is pretty complicated and I don't think it will take as long to study for the other stuff besides maybe science because science has complicated stuff and math too. But with the other stuff it's just memorizing a bunch of things and with literature I guess you just have to be good about reading a bunch of boring stuff!"</p><p>"Why are you so excited? You realize we have to do it all over again tomorrow, right?" Kageyama groaned.</p><p>"Because it's cool to do stuff with other people!"</p><p>"No," Kageyama groaned, leaning into Hinata slightly as they walked.</p><p>Hinata paused before he said. "You're more touchy than normal."</p><p>"M'just tired. And you're like a stuffed animal."</p><p>Hinata fell silent for a moment, looking thoughtful, "I don't know if that's a compliment or not."</p><p>"It's a compliment. This time."</p><p>"Tobio, you're so mean! What the hell do you mean 'this time'. It's either a compliment or you're making fun of how short and adorable I am. Oh, and my fluffy hair that everyone wants. Actually, never mind, stuffed animal is a compliment, cus they're cute and loveable!"</p><p>"Some of them have the look of murder in their eye."</p><p>"Even better." Hinata said and elbowed Kageyama off of him. "You better get home before you face plant because you aren't paying attention. You almost bit it like five times now."</p><p>"I'm just lucky." Kageyama mumbled. He probably wasn't that lucky though, considering the time where he did actually face plant on the sidewalk. But he'd been twelve or something, and he hadn't been wearing shoes so it was different.</p><p>"Sure~." Hinata teased. "Just make sure you get those graded papers this weekend and hope they're all C's. But, if all else fails I know how to turn any letter into an A."</p><p>Kageyama stopped walking. He hadn't thought of that. "What the fuck…" he breathed to himself. "Why didn't I think of that?" Kageyama had spent the past few years scraping by on lies, bending and obliterating the rules but he was out maneuvered by Hinata fucking Shoyo.</p><p>"I've done it for a few of my grades. If you don't want to look too suspicious you can turn D's into B's. And all kinds of things. You can change percents too of course, it's all easy. But don't do it too often."</p><p>"That's a great idea…"</p><p><em>You could just get good grades. Nothing wrong with a little effort, right? </em>Kageyama shoved those thoughts out of his head. There wasn't anything wrong with effort, but he only had so much effort to give, and Kageyama put almost all of it into volleyball.</p><p>"I know. If you need help doing it just let me know. See you later!" Hinata waved and left while Kageyama walked a little faster home since it was starting to get dark.</p><hr/><p>Kageyama started paying more attention in class, if only a little because his mind would often wander towards volleyball and then the training camp which eventually led him back to paying attention.</p><p>"I can't believe you're struggling this much to get average scores on assignments and tests." Tsukishima grumbled at lunch.</p><p>"Hey, we're trying! Now, back to literature. What's happening again?"</p><p>"Hinata-kun, we just read it today…" Yamaguchi sighed.</p><p>"I spaced out, I'm sorry. It's just so boring. Why can't the main character ever play volleyball or something?"</p><p>"Most people's lives don't revolve around sports, you know."</p><p>"Just because most real people's don't doesn't mean authors couldn't make more characters like that, Tsukki."</p><p>Tsukishima's eye twitched, "I told you not to call me that."</p><p>"Oops." Hinata didn't sound too apologetic though since Tsukishima had a plethora of unflattering nicknames for the both of them.</p><p>Kageyama and the other three kept studying for the remainder of the week and when his teachers handed back the graded homework assignments for that week to take home, Kageyama saw he'd managed to get C's on a few assignments and even a B in math. But he'd failed the literature homework and gotten a D in science.</p><p>He turned the two grades into a B and A and meddled with the percentage.</p><p>Kageyama was proud of himself anyway. He'd studied all week and got some decent grades. He wasn't going to let it go to waste because of a stupid literature grade.</p><p>He kind of liked the feeling of getting good grades, especially seeing all his hard work get him a B with no cheating involved so it prepared him better for exams.</p><p>Maybe he could spare a little extra energy and study a little more for good grades.</p><p>"Look, mama," Kageyama said when he got home, handing her his results. He watched her look over them all and faintly worried when she lingered on the literature grade before moving to the next.</p><p>"These are wonderful, Tobio," she said although Kageyama wouldn't have been able to tell that's how she felt from her face alone. "I'm sure your father will be happy with the results as well. I can tell you worked extra hard for this one." She said, pointing to the literature grade.</p><p>"Um… yeah. This one's good too though." Kageyama countered, pointing at the math one.</p><p>"Yes, they're all nice. I just know you've always struggled with literature in particular."</p><p>Her unwarranted praise on that particular grade made him feel a little guilty, but he could always work harder next time and show her a real grade for literature he received.</p><hr/><p>That Saturday, Kageyama boarded the bus with the rest of the team. "I see you managed to get your parents to let you go." Hinata commented sitting next to him on the bus.</p><p>"Yes, I only had to change two grades. I did really well on the assignments this week."</p><p>"You did average." Tsukishima commented from the other side of the bus.</p><p>"Only because of your average teaching, you ass."</p><p>"Fuck you."</p><p>"You guys should be nicer to each other sometimes." Hinata said. "We're all teammates so we should try to get along."</p><p>"We'll get along when I can look at you without straining my neck."</p><p>Hinata pouted and continued complaining. Kageyama ignored the conversation in favor of staring out the window. He wondered what playing against another team besides Seijoh would be like. He hadn't talked to Oikawa or Iwaizumi this week but maybe he would talk about the training camp with them when he got back.</p><p>Maybe they could go on a date too.</p><p>Kageyama's mind wandered back to volleyball eventually and he dreamed of perfect sets until they arrived in Tokyo.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>When you've been on a chapter so long every line starts to feel cringy and predictable XD</p><p>But anyway, I did it! I've been postponing editing this for about a week for no particular reason. But today i went on the first vacation I've been on in a while and I had some time so I edited the rest of it. I didn't have the confession to his parents in this one cus I realized I'd postponed this part of the story for long enough, so that'll just have to happen another time. Cus I started writing the argument and wow it did not go well and I realized if I caused that now, this would take forever to happen. So that argument will have to wait for a few more chapters. Anyway, thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings: Kageyama gets overwhelmed from being crowded by his teammates.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama was awoken from a peaceful sleep by a strange sensation in his ear that had him bolting upright. "What the hell," he hissed, rubbing away the ticklish feeling.</p><p>Hinata giggled and blew in his ear again, which Kageyama wanted to smack him for. "Don't do that!"</p><p>"But it was funny." Hinata defended himself. "Plus everyone's almost off the bus and you hadn't woken up from all the noise for some reason." Kageyama managed to glare before Hinata kept rambling.</p><p>"Just get off the bus."</p><p>"I never heard a thank you for waking you up." Kageyama shoved Hinata off the bus seat, not hard enough to send him sprawling on the floor, but hard enough to have him stumble.</p><p>"Are you guys coming?" Tanaka asked, poking his head in the bus.</p><p>"Yep," Kageyama said, grabbing his and Hinata's stuff. "There," Kageyama turned his head to Hinata, "I'm carrying your stuff so you can shut up about thanking you."</p><p>"No one ever taught you manners," Hinata huffed. "You're supposed to thank people when they're nice to you, not shove them off their seats and then carry their bag as some half-assed apology."</p><p>"Shut up, it's a full assed apology."</p><p>"That doesn't even make sense." Hinata said, rolled his eyes, and jumped down from the bus.</p><p>"I don't care if it made sense."</p><p>Hinata ignored his words and how grumpy he was, switching topics in his usual jumpy manner. "Anyway, I'm so excited! This is my first training camp!"</p><p>"Really?" Kageyama had gone on a few training camps during middle school although he'd skipped some for various reasons. The first time, he'd been too scared to be so far from his parents, and no one really talked to him about going either so it was easy to stay home. Then there had been a few times where he'd been afraid of fighting with Oikawa, and the last time in his third year he didn't go at all because he felt too angry at everyone and was also scared they'd all be angry at him.</p><p>So, while Kageyama had been to training camps before, this was his first one in a while.</p><p>"Yes! Remember, I've never been on a formal team before now!"</p><p>Hinata had such a natural instinct for volleyball that sometimes Kageyama forgot, although Hinata always made sure to receive the ball into his face to remind him right after. Or say things like how he'd never been to a training camp before.</p><p>It wasn't just Hinata that was excited though, everyone seemed to be bouncing off the walls save for a few people, himself included.</p><p>"I can't believe we're actually in Tokyo! And we're going to be playing an actual team tomorrow! We haven't played another team since the Seijoh match, and that was forever ago." Hinata remarked.</p><p>"It was like two weeks?" Kageyama said, uncertainly. "Have you been drinking coffee or something?"</p><p>"Nope! Just because you never get the exciting feeling that makes you wanna bounce off walls doesn't mean I can't."</p><p>Kageyama had to admit that was probably true. He wasn't particularly fond of bouncing around just because he was a little excited. Thankfully, Hinata left with his overwhelming energy to go bounce around with Tanaka and Nishinoya. As much as Kageyama loved Hinata, he was glad the guy had other people he could be energized around too.</p><p>"Those three are a bit overwhelming sometimes, huh?" Kageyama startled a bit turned to see Daichi leaning on the door frame. His voice was exasperated, but fond.</p><p>Kageyama's voice was less fond, "Yes."</p><p>Out of everyone on the team, the captain was probably the one he'd talked the least to. He'd even talked to Tanaka and Nishinoya more despite how he tried to avoid them since they tended to make big scenes he wasn't interested in. Not to mention how loud they were all the time. Kageyama didn't always mind loud, he could be loud too, in fact he was pretty loud if he thought about it. But not only were they loud, they were chaotic and had did risky things that seemed like terrible ideas.</p><p>Daichi chuckled at his response and then continued, "You excited about playing against Nekoma?"</p><p>Kageyama hesitated before nodding, not because he was unsure about whether he was excited, but because he was pretty sure this was small talk.</p><p>That knowledge heightened Kageyama's awareness that the situation could turn awkward if he couldn't find something to say back and what also unnerved him was that the captain didn't seem bothered. "We haven't played Nekoma in quite a while, not since the old Coach Ukai retired."</p><p>Kageyama paused before asking, "You know people on the team?"</p><p>"Yep, not the new first years, but I know some of the teams second and third years. We aren't that close but the rivalry was… really nice, I guess."</p><p>Kageyama supposed he had a lot of rivals, some of them bordering on enemies, so he'd never been void of that competitive drive before. For him, there had always been someone to go against whether a rival on his own team or someone on the other side of the net.</p><p>He started wondering what it would feel like not to have that. Maybe volleyball wouldn't be quite as fun anymore.</p><p>Before Tobio could come up with something to say in response, however, he and Daichi heard a loud shriek from down the hall.</p><p>By the time he'd blinked Daichi was almost at the end of the hall ready to yell at the others to be quiet. Kageyama thought the entire exchange was rather ironic.</p><hr/><p>The next morning the whole team got ready to go out on a morning run after practicing some receives. Predictably, Hinata managed to goad Kageyama into another competition. However, when they reached the point to loop back around to the gym, Hinata was so caught up in the competition he kept running passed them all. "Dumbass" Kageyama grumbled gearing up to run after and yell at him but Sugawara stopped him.</p><p>"I'll go after Hinata, the two of you together will probably never make it back alive."</p><p>The entire team laughed a little and Tanaka teased Kageyama about his temper when it came to the other boy.</p><p>"I'll go after him. You guys get back to the gym." Sugawara said good naturedly and started running off after Hinata before Kageyama could even think to argue.</p><p>When they got back to the gym, Kageyama noticed that coach Ukai was acting a little strange, but he didn't have much faith in his ability to read people, so maybe the coach was just a bit tired or something.</p><p>The team decided to solo practice while they waited for Hinata and Sugawara got back so Tobio decided to take a short break, drink some water, and check his phone.</p><p>He had a text from his mother, telling him she hoped he was having fun at training camp. He also had a few texts from Iwaizumi and Oikawa wishing him a good time. Tobio had contemplated telling them he was going to Tokyo and had decided to say something just to let them know. And maybe to complain just a little about how hard homework was.</p><p>"Talking to your girlfriend." Tanaka teased lightly, causing Kageyama's face to instantly sour.</p><p>"It's just a message from mama." He muttered and stuffed his phone away.</p><p>"Yeah right." Nishinoya snickered. "People don't look like you just did after getting a text from their mom."</p><p>"Well what look was it?"</p><p>"A look of true love." Tanaka smirked. Kageyama picked up a volleyball and threw it at him but Tanaka just dodged and cackled.</p><p>"It was probably a text from his soulmates." Tsukishima chimed in. Of course he was the one to be completely unhelpful and ruin Kageyama's efforts. He hadn't exactly sworn him or Yamaguchi to secrecy, but how could Tsukishima just out him like that?</p><p>Of course, he knew how, but for some reason he was still surprised at Tsukishima's lack of human decency.</p><p>"Wait, you know your soulmates?" Nishinoya asked.</p><p>"You have more than one soulmate?" that time it was Tanaka.</p><p>Kageyama fell quiet, not sure what to say, but he was hoping they would somehow magically forget and drop it.</p><p>He thought he was saved when Sugawara and Hinata ran back into the gym, but the topic of conversation was just brought to their attention.</p><p>"Hey, did you guys know Kageyama knew his soulmates?" Tanaka asked when they came closer.</p><p>Sugawara furrowed his eyebrows, not seeming to know what to say and Hinata burst out, "Wait! Tobio you told them! And you didn't wait for me to be here!"</p><p>"I didn't tell anyone anything." Kageyama growled and glared at Tsukishima who didn't seem to notice.</p><p>"Then how do they know?" Sugawara asked.</p><p>"Wait!" Nishinoya interrupted Kageyama, "So you two <em>did </em>know? Do you know who they are?"</p><p>Hinata and Sugawara hesitated so Nishinoya looked over to Kageyama for an answer, which he definitely hadn't been expecting to give today.</p><p>Soon other members of the team got curious and came over, asking questions, probably good intentioned, but they were overwhelming. And some of them were asking for advice he had no idea about because he barely understood how his relationship even worked.</p><p>Tobio started to feel cornered and just wanted to escape.</p><p>"All of you back away, you're crowding him too much." Daichi's voice carried over all the others, effectively silencing them. Ukai and Takeda were working on pulling some of the team away to give him space.</p><p>Daichi broke through the small crowd when it thinned and asked, "Do you want to go outside for a minute?"</p><p>Tobio nodded and allowed himself to be led outside by Daichi.</p><p>Once outside, Kageyama took a few deep breaths to calm himself down and process what just happened. So basically, everyone now knew he had two soulmates but they didn't know who they were. Kageyama hadn't been the one to tell them, it had been Tsukishima. And lastly, they hadn't seemed to have a negative reaction to anything, which he supposed was to be expected if not even Tsukishima had been bothered. So that only left the question of what they would think of Oikawa and Iwaizumi being his soulmates. He recalled most of the teams dislike for at least Oikawa, not that he could blame them. Oikawa had gone out of his way to seem like an ass the first time they all spoke.</p><p>"Are you doing better?" Daichi asked, a hand still on Kageyama's shoulder.</p><p>"I'm doing okay now." Kageyama confirmed after a moment more of thinking. "I'm ready to go inside now."</p><p>The two walked in to see Sugawara and Takeda scolding the rest of the team. "People have personal bubbles that you shouldn't invade, and you shouldn't bombard them with questions they may not want to answer." Takeda was saying.</p><p>Sugawara added on when he was finished, "They shouldn't be telling other people's secrets either."</p><p>"No one told <em>me </em>it was a secret." Tsukishima huffed. He looked annoyed as usual but Kageyama thought he could see a little guilt. And not that Kageyama was happy about it, but he was right, he hadn't known it was a secret, and he hadn't known the team would react so excitedly.</p><p>"You're smart enough to know Kageyama-kun hadn't told the rest of the team and smart enough to know you should've let him say it in his own time." Sugawara countered.</p><p>That was true also.</p><p>Hinata noticed Kageyama at that point and shouted his name for the rest of the world to hear.</p><p>Kageyama thought he was about to be crowded again but a glare from Daichi had them skidding to a halt before they got too close. He almost could've laughed at how they were so excited though.</p><p>"Hey, Kageyama," Tanaka spoke first, "uh… we're sorry for crowding you, and being so loud, I was just excited to know you had soulmates." Tanaka said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.</p><p>Before Nishinoya could say anything next Kageyama cut in. "It's okay, it's not really a big deal." Kageyama wasn't mad or upset, not even about his secret being outted. It would've come out eventually anyway, and having everyone know now, just removed some pressure off his shoulders. He still would've rather told them himself, but Kageyama couldn't always be in control of every situation and he saw this as an opportunity to express being okay with that.</p><p>He'd just gotten a bit overwhelmed with everything happening at once and needed a moment to process.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Nishinoya asked.</p><p>Tobio hated the guilty look on his face and nodded. "Yeah, it's okay, I'm fine." Kageyama said. And it was. The last thing he needed was everyone fussing over him.</p><p>Tsukishima didn't even try to apologize, but that was okay too, he wasn't that upset anymore, and while Sugawara was right about him being smart enough to know, Kageyama recognized he should've been clearer about everything too.</p><p>There was still one thing Kageyama could tell everyone wanted to know though. "You wanna know who they are, don't you?"</p><p>Tanaka and Nishinoya nodded eagerly and even Yamaguchi and Tsukishima looked interested.</p><p>"I'll tell you guys after the Nekoma game." Kageyama said, hoping they would forget but by the look in Tsukishima's eye he was willing to bet that wouldn't happen.</p><p>"Alright, well," Ukai started, changing the subject, "now that that's done, I have made my decisions for the starting lineup."</p><p>Ukai started naming the players and Kageyama was surprised when his name was called. He glanced over at Sugawara. "Wait, neither Sugawara nor Ennoshita is in starting lineup?" Nishinoya whispered nonsubtly to Asahi who grimaced at how loud the 'whisper' was.</p><p>"Oh it's fine," Ennoshita said, "I mean, I did quit once after all so I'm not upset."</p><p>Kageyama frowned at that.</p><p>"I'm not upset either," Sugawara told Noya, "I just want to win as many games as we can."</p><p>Kageyama wasn't sure about that. Sugawara should be upset, and so should Ennoshita. They were older and yet he, Hinata, and Tsukishima were in the starting lineup? It just didn't seem fair to him.</p><p>So, after they were done practicing for the day, Kageyama went up to Sugawara. "Um, Suga-san… I just want to let you know that you can have my spot if you want." He promised he'd earn his way to his position on the team, he felt like he hadn't done that yet. Not to mention that he felt bad. He was scared Sugawara would hate him for taking what might be his last year of playing volleyball like this. "So, if you want, I can talk to Ukai-san and—"</p><p>"Hey, I'm going to stop you there. First off, I don't want your spot. In fact, I told Ukai-san to choose based on who he thought would help the team the most and he chose you. I don't mind, Kageyama-kun. You're a much more skilled setter than I could ever be anyway."</p><p>"No, but—"</p><p>Suga cut him off by continuing. "It's very sweet you're so adamant about this, but I swear it's okay. I'm not mad or anything but if you keep telling me to take your spot I might get annoyed." Sugawara said the last part somewhat teasingly but Kageyama could also tell there was some semblance of seriousness in there. "Now come on, let's go eat and rest up, okay?"</p><p>Kageyama slowly nodded after a moment and followed Sugawara to the dining hall.</p><p>While he was eating, Kageyama was pretty sure he saw Tsukishima look over at him several times out of the corner of his eye but turned away after Kageyama glanced over.</p><p>It was rather odd behavior for Tsukishima because he never looked at anyone, much less Kageyama. He decided to talk about it after dinner.</p><p>He almost caught Tsukishima staring at him again, and at this point he was starting to get annoyed. "Do you need something." He hissed.</p><p>Tsukishima glared at him like usual but he didn't say anything in return so Kageyama pressed further, "I notice you've been staring at me more than usual."</p><p>At that Tsukishima's face soured even further but the expression quickly faded and he mumbled something in response. Kageyama stared at him for a minute and then said, "What?"</p><p>"I said I'm sorry for telling your fucking secret you damn king." Tsukishima muttered harshly and it was a very Tsukishima-like thing to say, other than the 'sorry' part, which was actually very out of character in Kageyama's opinion. Then again, last year someone might've said the same thing about him.</p><p>"Oh…" Tobio didn't really know what to say since he hadn't been expecting any sort of apology from Tsukishima. "Did Yamaguchi-kun tell you to apologize?"</p><p>Tsukishima just glared at him and shook his head once.</p><p>"Oh." He was even more confused about why Tsukishima had apologized of his own volition. Especially when Kageyama had already forgiven the entire team today. Maybe he thought the forgiveness didn't extend to him? Tobio really wasn't sure but tried to save the situation from being any more awkward than it already was. "It's okay." Kageyama repeated the same thing he'd told the rest of the team earlier that day. There was no way he was going to tell Tsukishima he was glad that everything was out in the open though because he still would've rather said it himself.</p><p>When it was clear Tsukishima had no intention of saying anything else or even acknowledging what Tobio had said, Kageyama turned his attention back to Hinata who'd managed to start a pillow fight with half the team and get away with it since Daichi wasn't there.</p><p>Kageyama didn't even have enough time to contemplate where he might be before Daichi seemed to almost materialize out of thin air. Even Kageyama was startled. "What are you guys doing in here!" he shouted. "You need to settle down and sleep well so you can play at your best tomorrow!"</p><p>The pillow fighters froze what they were doing, Hinata's last thrown pillow hitting Nishinoya's face the only movement. Then they all wordlessly collected the pillows and made their way to their futons.</p><p>"Why didn't <em>you </em>say something." Daichi grumbled, sitting beside Sugawara.</p><p>Suga just smirked, "They were only having fun. And besides, I needed to see if the one I was betting on, won."</p><p>"Who the heck were you betting with?"</p><p>Sugawara elbowed Asahi. "I said Tanaka. He mistakenly thought Noya would win."</p><p>"You don't know if it was a mistake." Asahi mumbled. "They didn't finish the fight."</p><p>Kageyama subtly listened for a little while until he was distracted by Hinata placing his futon next to him. "I can't believe we got caught by Daichi-san." Hinata pouted.</p><p>"I can. Pillow fights aren't exactly subtle."</p><p>"Yeah well… I just thought he'd be gone for longer."</p><p>"And you thought wrong. As usual." Tsukishima commented.</p><p>Hinata threw his pillow and it hit Tsukishima's shoulder. Kageyama glanced over to see if Daichi noticed. Thankfully he seemed to be too busy talking to Suga, but Sugawara had definitely noticed though he didn't say anything.</p><p>Hinata's pillow was returned to him double the force when he'd started giggling. "You're so mean." Hinata said, rubbing his face.</p><p>"You threw it first."</p><p>Hinata pouted and then huffed out another laugh as he laid down. Everyone started to quiet, loud conversations turning into quieter ones. Even Tanaka and Nishinoya were starting to settle down.</p><p>"Alright, lights out." Daichi said after about ten minutes. "You guys don't make too much noise."</p><p>Daichi flipped the light switch, plunging the room into darkness.</p><p>Initially he'd forgotten, but sleeping in the dark was one other reason Kageyama hadn't particularly liked training camps as much when he was younger. He usually brought a small flashlight with him and hid it under the blankets. Sometimes he got yelled at for it and sometimes he didn't. It just depended on who noticed.</p><p>He hadn't brought it this time. Truthfully he'd forgotten it, but he also felt like he didn't need it much anymore. His teammates helped him feel safer than any flashlight would really, and he was glad he'd found people like that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, it's been a little while. Things have been tough but I decided to finally finish and edit this chapter. It's basically just team bonding lmao, like I can't not have that. Here you have Daichi being a responsible captain, Sugawara being lovely and chaotic at the same time, Tsukishima being an ass (no surprise), but less of one than usual (surprise), Noya and Tanaka being amazing but loud, and Hinata being his great self. I didn't add The three second years backstory here because I didn't and maybe it will come up later and maybe it won't, idk. But for the timeline rn, next chapter is going to be Nekoma match! And if I can, I want some Tsukishima drama to happen lol (this time happening to him instead of him creating it) hope it all goes well. Thanks for reading, and see you next time! (Btw, I kinda forgot about this but when I asked you guys what you thought my age was congrats if you said something under 20!)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What'd you think? Comments and feedback are appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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